The Golden Nopopotamus, part 1. Writing is Haaaard.
A/N: Did you finish the Miralife Card quest (Trade Agreement)? Well, you should, because Nopon can be adorable. Then we find out why the Golden Nopopotamus card was so special to Miss Warawa (hint: she's one of us).
No swears, no evil (except for that wizard). Spoilers to every in-game Nopon related thing I could remember, and some that other people made up, including MONOLITH SOFT's 100% canon pre-game fiction, written by one of the real writers, Yuichiro Takeda, oh, my, stars! Go! Read it! "Upon That Nameless Planet" – a piece that will make you respect Tatsu – then read the rest, including the only Nagi fiction I can bear to look at, this can so wait….
Have I mentioned that everything good belongs to the hard working geniuses at MONOLITH SOFT? And some love for for for the localization team 8-4, you know?
And I had to put more a/n's in-story, usually a no-no, but otherwise I start to scream during this thing.
Miss Warawa chewed on the end of her stylus, a special Hello Nopon Spring Bloom edition with Noctilum blossom patterns. She was finding this writing difficult. Not that writing itself was difficult. She was literate. Nopon were a cultured people, after all, and Warawa prided herself on being more cultured than most. But the Nopon language was better suited for writing invoices and IOUs, not the finer, richer goal she had set for herself. She wanted to write the first Nopon-centric Miralife card fanfiction.
The story wasn't the problem. She had the whole of it in her own head, playing its way through her dreams and her waking hours. She only had to look at her golden nopopotamus card to see the events and feel all the emotions in crystalline detail. Given half a chance, she could regale any listener for an hour or two about all the ins and outs of her story. She could talk to an interested listener even longer, but she hadn't found many of those. Any of those, to be honest. But she now had a chance, and she was not going to let anything get in her way. [a/n: You go, girl! I will fave you instantly.]
So the problem, really, was finding a way to turn oral storytelling, a rich Nopon tradition, into this new-fangled human method of written story. She would get there, certainly, but the deadline was drawing nearer and nearer and she was not much closer to completing her magnum opus. She sighed and chewed the stylus some more.
Little Marama was cutest Nopon in all caravans of caravans. All Nopon agreed, except the stupid ones. But there were many stupid ones in Marama's home caravan, and they very mean to sweet little Marama. She find comfort in other cute things, not the bitey ones, only the gentle fuzzy ones, who were all drawn to her cuteness. They were her true friends, but no one was her equal for cuteness.
An excellent beginning, but it was going so slowly, so very slowly. Maybe she should take a break, get a snack and bolster her concentration that way. Now, who would buy her something to eat? Writing was her passion, but it was not yet something that would pay the bills. Best bet: a BLADE. They were generous and often smitten by her charm. Second choice: some other xeno, but she would have to avoid the hungry kind. Her gaze landed on Justin, a BLADE and a Mediator. No, he had bought her a kiwegg smoothie yesterday, too soon to ask. She shook her head angrily. Silly Warawa, do not try to distract yourself from your duty and your destiny with the thought of snacks.
Late one afternoon, as great Mother Moon was rising with little husband and three daughters, sweet Marama was walking past great pool when nasty dilus frighten her because he was so very bitey with so many slashy teeth and stink breath like purple poop of milesaur left in sunshine. Marama not really frightened, because she also very brave as well as cute, but dilus have maybe 1000 teeth going all which ways, so maybe little bit frightened is normal. "Meh meh meh," she cry out in despair. "Will no one help such a cute and adorable girl such as me?"
Argh! It was just too difficult and slow. She needed help, not from snacks, not from special stylus. Not even her precious golden nopopotamus card was enough. She would ask Justin, not for food, but for advice. This wasn't distraction, this was smart.
"Justin! Justin! Warawa need help!"
The young blond man looked down on the bouncing and anxious pink form. "I am always here to help, any citizen, at any time! You can count on me!"
"Goody. Does Justin know anything about writing?"
A strange light flickered in Justin's eyes, and he turned pale. "Who told you about that? People shouldn't be so quick to judge. I'm proud of what I've done and I'm not going to apologize for it again." [a/n: It was thinly disguised Vandham/H.B. crack fiction. Canon, don't argue. Excuse me while I lose my mind.]
Warawa looked at him in confusion. "We not talking about you. We talking about my problem. Warawa need to finish story but it taking too long. Can she talk and you write?"
Justin was already walking quickly away. "I have to go. I have to be at … the Mediator's tent. Soon. In ten minutes. Less than that. Really soon. I can't help you today. Maybe tomorrow." He started to run.
Maybe when humans turn as cute as Nopon, thought Warawa sourly. Maybe when grex start to purr. Maybe when Sandy Bum Canyon fill itself with strawlennies and we all have cupcake party there. Clearly, she was to be left alone to face her troubles, unlike the heroine in her story.
From behind her, Marama heard sound of gentle but strong snorting. She turned to see light of sunset flash past her. But it not sunset light, it giant nopopotamus rushing past cute Marama, straight at evil dilus. Nopopotamus crash into side of dilus and knock stupid thing flying, then stomp all over it. Battle very epic and Marama cheer on her hero, while also chucking rocks at dilus, because she very brave and cute and also deadly good shot with rocks.
Oh, how she wished somebody would rush in and help her. She could chuck rocks of plot points at the story, but she needed somebody to knock over paragraphs and grammar and spelling junk for her. She was looking across the plaza, tears in her adorable eyes, when she saw the last person she wanted to see.
"Hi ya, Warawa," said Lin Lee Koo. "How's the story going? Will you have it done by tomorrow? The next edition of Pretty Skell N(e)X(t) goes to bed then." Lin was very proud of her current internship at New Los Angeles' premier skell fanfiction 'zine.
"Everything peachy, no problem here," said Warawa brightly, blinking quickly.
"Meh meh meh, somebody lying."
"Shut up, glasses boy."
"You too nervous to be honest. Ambassadors can tell. And Tatsu is grown."
"You still know-nothing littlepon!" Warawa was not going to take any flak from somebody 3 years her junior. That Lin Lee was also 3 years younger did not cross her mind. Linly was cool. Tatsu was not and never would be.
"Calm down, both of you," Lin Lee said, annoyance in her voice. "Tatsu, don't be rude or I'll stir fry you for certain. Warawa, you gotta tell me. Will your piece be ready by tomorrow?"
It was too much for such an honest soul. "Ahhhhh," wailed Warawa. "It so haaaaaaard! So many words and it hurt to write so much!"
Lin looked more concerned than sympathetic. "That's not good. This youth edition was my idea. If I can't deliver enough pages, they might have to cancel the whole thing. I'm stretching it as it is, getting someone like Alexa to contribute. She's old." [a/n: She's 21. Sigh.]
"You write story. Help darling Warawa to finish in time."
"I can't write your story!" squealed Lin. "That wouldn't be fair! Besides, it's YOUR story. I don't even know how to start writing what a Nopon feels."
"It still better than anything stinky pinky write," muttered Tatsu, earning himself a wing slap from his agitated co-speciest.
"I suppose you could just write a partial story. Like a first chapter. The readers may be disappointed," said Lin.
"More like relieved." More slaps, again deservedly.
"Ahem! Come on, Warawa. Write what you can, and we'll fill any space with a picture of something. A skell, I guess. Maybe Alexa has one we can use." [A/n: Oh, yes. Yes, she does.]
"But it so haaaaard!" repeated Warawa. "Linly must help fellow storyteller. Give Warawa pro tip for getting in the flow!"
Lin Lee pursed her mouth in concentration. "I don't know. I guess you could, maybe, listen to music. That always helps me. Something soothing and matching the mood."
"Warawa need something heroic and dreamy then."
"A heroic and dreamy skell? Really? Oooh-kay. Look, let me send you a play list of stuff that might work. It's human music, mostly, with a little Ma-non thrown in. See if it works for you." Lin was already tapping away at her comm device and a moment later there was an answering ping from Warawa's.
"Thank you, thank you! Warawa give you guest appearance in story! Nice one." She waved as her idol and her idol's useless lump of Nopon servant walked away.
Warawa cranked up the music. It was very odd, sort of tinkly and slippy, not like the twangy bounce and scrape of good Nopon music, but she would give it a try. She took out her beloved Miralife card, stared hard at the face of her dearest imaginary friend, his sweet emerald eyes, his delicately carved tusks, and began to write.
A/N: I'm trying to 100% XCX, so I'm mopping up quests and got BLINDSIDED by the ending of this one. Written in a white hot fury as a result.
You think this is done? Ha! We got Nopon fanfic incoming!
The playlist that Lin sent contained a whole lot of Owl City. Eldest Child came up with Justin's secret and made me laugh so hard I almost died (that ship has haunted my worst nightmares, sail it if you wish, bless you, but I'll stay safe on shore, thanks).