A.N. Continues right from the end of episode two until a short while after the discovery of the Borealis. I try to give characterization to Gordon - show his thoughts and feelings.

"Don't Leave Me..."

All I could do was cry with her. Alyx was hunched over the body of the man I respected most, her eyes blood-red with weeping. She had lost her father Eli to the hated Combine, to the cruel force which had destroyed our world. I went to hug her, but broke down and wept. My mind went back to Black Mesa, to after the experiment, when I was dazed from the collapse of the facility and was awed at viewing alien life.

I remember his words to me: "Gordon, you're alive! Thank God for that hazard suit!". I immediately felt comforted, that even though I was unsure if I would survive I knew I had a friend always. And now he was dead. Briefly I wondered if I could go on. I could only ever remember seeing chaos, destruction, and killing. Had I done any good in my life?

Kleiner, Magnusson, and the others stood round as a Vortigaunt dug a resting place for Eli. He was buried within White Forest, just beyond the ground where I had destroyed the Striders. I said nothing. I felt an urge to appear strong, and did not want to show any vulnerability in public. While I had doubted myself after his death, I knew that others saw me as the one Free Man; so I wanted to appear unaffected by any tragedy. This seemed to me to be the way to give strength and comfort to the whole Resistance - I could look beyond what was happening, view it all as a dream and a play. I thought of that enigmatic man in a suit - who Eli had called a mutual friend - how he walked above all these things. He was who I wanted to be - a true Free Man: transcendent, superior to the flow of events.

Alyx spoke first: "Oh daddy, I loved you each day of my life. I treasured your protection, your safe and warm presence. Without you, life is dead. Bye dad, rest forever".

Then Kleiner came to speak. I admired Kleiner. His mind was mostly in the highest reaches of scientific knowledge - and he found it hard to come down from that plane - yet he could inspire when he needed to. "Eli, my dear old man, may an as yet unknown dimension - unknown to us that is, not of course to you - may that dimension receive your spirit. Dwell there in peace, friend. You are a great boon to everyone. A story was told in ancient India of a good man who was accidentally sent to hell. In his presence, the unhappy beings found joy and hell itself became a paradise. May the same occur across the borderworlds that you have travelled. We are lit by your example, dear Eli. Blessings to you."

Magnusson, wisely, did not speak. I disliked Magnusson. While he was devoted to the Resistance and had great scientific ability, he lacked entirely, as far as I could tell, any good human qualities. Whenever I was around him I felt like informing the Combine of his whereabouts then making sure he was assimilated into the Overwatch and dispatched to an off-world assignment.

So Eli was buried, and the Vortigaunts sang a haunting tune as he was lowered down. I felt my dedication to the group strengthening, as if his death was bonding us tighter together. There was much still to do, and through my sadness I felt a determination to carry on. I was sure Alyx felt the same - she had been grieving and weeping uncontrollably, but after the funeral she seemed stoic and sure of herself. I longed to protect her, to be the safe presence that Eli had been. I had a love for her which felt fatherly. I wanted to lead and support her, to guard her as if she was my own precious girl.