A portal opened in Rick's garage, and Rick stepped through with one arm around Phoenix Person's waist. He had pulled another of his friend's arms over his own shoulder and was almost carrying the injured alien inside his lab. Phoenix person was unconscious, and Rick struggled with his large friend's weight.

"You need to go on a diet," Rick said as he shifted to move Phoenix Person so he could support him better.

He stumbled and almost dropped his burden as Morty stepped through the portal and bumped into his back, making him pitch forward and stagger.

"Be...urp...be careful, idiot," Rick said. He hauled Phoenix Person to his cot against the wall. He was much larger than Rick, and an arm and leg hung off the cot, trailing onto the floor.

Rick sat on the floor, resting against Phoenix Person and breathing heavily. His vision blurred, more than could be attributed to drunkenness, and he saw spots. He ached all over, having taken a few punches to the body and a burn on his leg from a laser that grazed him.

It was a mistake to slow down. As the adrenaline faded the pain of his wounds fully asserted himself, and he put his hand over the left side of his stomach and groaned.

His lab coat was ruined, but he'd had more lab coats ruined than he could count. Besides the rips from a knife that had torn his skin, cutting into his arm, it had several bloody spots, some his and some belonging to other Rick's that he had killed. Some of the blood was Tammy's. He smiled at the thought. The Council of Ricks should have never tried to gang up on him with the government.

But as he pulled the lab coat open and lifted his shirt he wondered if Tammy had managed to get her revenge after all.

He realized Morty had been howling in fear, as he always did at the least little chance of death.

"Ooooo..."

"Sh...sh...shut up and listen," Rick said. "This is bad. I need you to get your mom. If she can...urp...if she can fix horses she should be able to at least stop the bleeding."

"R...rick! You're injured!" Morty said.

"No shit, Sherlock!" Rick said. "S..stop being useless and get your mom. I don't want to die before I wreck the Council of Ricks for this," he said, pointing toward Phoenix Person. "I could walk away from everything else, but...but not...urp...not this. Not him. Tell her to treat him first."

Morty watched as Rick's eyes rolled back in his head, and his head fell back on Phoenix Person's chest.

"R..rick?" Morty asked. He poked him with a crowbar that was lying nearby, propped against the wall, either for use as a tool or a weapon.

Rick's eyes opened, but he didn't move. "You...you...you can do this. You're the Mortiest Morty, remember?"

His eyes closed again. "I'm cold," he said. "Get my flask."

"No," Morty said. Something in his own voice surprised him. "No. You...you...don't need that." After what he'd done in the Citadel he felt like he could speak like that to Rick.

He put a blanket over Rick. Phoenix Person looked bad, but Morty didn't think he was dying. Rick might be, and Morty didn't see any wound on Phoenix Person.

"I'm in charge now," Morty said. "I can do this."

He stepped out of the garage. "I have to do this," he said. "I'm the Mortiest Morty."

His mother was in the kitchen, half-way through a bottle of cheap red wine. Her expensive shirt had a wide splash of crimson. When he saw the empty bottle lay on the counter Morty swore to himself for the hundredth time that he'd never drink.

"Mom?" Morty asked. "I need your help."

"Of course honey," she said. Her voice slurred, he face was flushed, and her eyes didn't focus. She held the bottle in one hand and a large glass in the other, filling it and spilling almost as much as she got into the bottle.

"You're as bad as R...rick," Morty said.

She waved the bottle toward him in dismissal. "I'll never leave you though."

Deciding she was useless he found his father in the kitchen, playing with the butter bot. He would move butter to one end of the table and watch as the little bot scuttled to cut it, and then he would move it back, giggling at the robot's antics.

"My purpose is to pass butter!" the little bot said. "Let me achieve my purpose!"

"I'm sorry," Jerry said. "Here. Pass the butter."

Since Rick had pushed his mother into kicking his father out Morty had been thinking, a lot, and what he saw just reinforced something he'd suspected lately.

His father was an idiot, and his mother should have never let him come back. The fights between Jerry and Rick had escalated, and Morty wondered how Rick had kept himself from killing him.

It did occur to him that Rick would have continued to tease the robot, but his idiot dad was apologizing to an inanimate object. He felt embarrassed at his father's obliviousness, but more pity than anything else.

Jerry looked up, obviously pleased and relaxed. "What is it son?" he asked, smiling. He opened his arms to give Morty a hug.

"Nothing Dad," Morty said.

Rick is going to die because all the adults here are useless, Morty realized.

No. I won't let it happen.

His father looked anxious. "Don't you want a hug?" he asked. "You still love me, right?"

Morty let him pull him into a needy, grasping embrace, stepping away as soon as he could without his father's confidence issues kicking in.

His grandfather had hugged him twice, and he remembered both times clearly. Once had been after he told him what King Jellybean had almost done, and the other time was after Bird Person had seemed to die, in the first calm between storms as the family ate quickly before running again.

The first time had been to comfort him, Morty knew, but the second time had been because the jaded man had lost the only person Morty had ever heard him call friend, and he needed comfort.

He asked for help today, Morty realized with a shock, and he wanted Phoenix Person healed first. That's not like him.

Summer was gone, or he would have asked her for help. Morty felt chilled as he realized that it was just him. There was no one else to help Rick.

His mother kept a well-stocked medical kit, not as good as Rick's, but he suspected Rick's was probably filled with alien gadgets and medicines he could never understand.

He found a box of fabric bandages and pulled them out. There were metal clasps that he had no idea how to use.

"Oooo..." he wailed, feeling panic rise."I can't do this."

But he pictured Rick bleeding in the garage. Morty had seen a lot of wounds by now, the majority of them inflicted by Rick on his enemies. Rick was bleeding too much. He couldn't imagine life without him, trapped with his family and without his only friend.

I can't fail, he thought.

He took the bandages, and after a moment of thought he put everything in the medicine cabinet in the basket on the sink, throwing out the magazines his parents kept there, letting them scatter on the floor.

He hauled the basket back to the garage, and sat it down near Rick, who was still unconscious.

"Oooo...Goddammit Rick! You're not supposed to do this! You...you're the one who's supposed to know things, not me."

He sat at Rick's computer and began to Google anything he could think of that might help. "How to give first aid. How to bandage wounds...ect..."

As usual, the letters moved and shifted. I'm too dumb to do this, he thought. He could type and write, but it took forever to read.

He found a site with pictures and studied them, rushing through the illustrations and focusing as hard as he could on the words. He took the things he needed from the basket and set to work.

When Rick woke he was laying on the ground, with his feet elevated and a pillow under his head. Morty lay next to him on the floor, curled up and sleeping.

Rick lifted the blanket. Beth had removed his shirt and bandaged him. But why did she leave me on the floor? he wondered.

"M...urp...Morty. Wake up."

Morty woke and rubbed his eyes.

"Is Phoenix Person alive?"

"Yeah," Morty said. "I couldn't f...find any wounds, and his pulse and breathing are str...str...strong. I've seen you do it. I guess I did it right. I don't know what it should be, but it's there."

"How mad is your Mom?" Rick asked. He didn't care about his self-pitying, disgustingly neurotic daughter's feelings, but if she kicked him out he would lose his lab - and Summer and Morty.

"She doesn't kn...know," Morty said. "She was too drunk to help."

"You didn't...urp...you didn't let Jerry touch me?" Rick asked, genuinely horrified.

"No," Morty said. "Dad is an idiot."

A few tears leaked from his eyes. "He's useless too. Everyone here is useless but you and Summer, and she's out of town."

"Then who..?"

"I did it," Morty said. "You're a real aaa...asshole, Rick, but I don't want to lose you."

"Don't lie to me, Morty. You're too dumb to have done this. Who treated me?"

"I did!" Morty yelled. "And I'm not dumb! You're supposed to be the smartest man in the multiverse, but I organized the Mortys for revolt, and I rescued you, old man!"

"You did, didn't you," Rick said. "I wonder how you did that."

"I'm not dumb like my Dad," Morty said. "I'm smart, like Mom. It's not my fault the words move around."

"The words move ar...around...urp." Rick muttered. "Hmm."

"Wh...wh...what?" Morty asked.

"I have an idea," Rick said. "When I can move around I might... never mind."

"What? I hate when you do that."

"Tell you later," Rick said, "if it works."

"Yeah, whatever," Morty said.

Rick carefully lifted the bandage. Morty had stitched the wound shut. It was sloppy, and the scar would make Frankenstein's monster look like a model, but he was surprised Morty had skills.

"How did you know how to do this?" Rick asked. "It's not that complicated, but it's more than I'd expect from you. That's...urp...that's for sure."

Rick tried to sit up and lay back with a groan. "Get me my flask, Morty."

"No."

"What did you say to me, boy?" Rick asked. "Don't come between a man and his v...vodka."

"Get it yourself," Morty said. "I'm tired of watching you and Mom wreck yourself."

Rick reached for his lab coat, which lay on the floor nearby. Morty threw it to the other side of the room.

"Morty, you little sh...sh...shit, bring it here right now. My flask is in there."

Morty left and brought him some water, which he drank with a grimace. "Water should only be used as a chaser...ulp...Morty, and only by wimps. Real men drink their liquor straight."

"Idiot," Morty spat.

"What did you say to me!?" Rick yelled. "How dare you, you obnoxious little brat!"

"If you're so sm...smart then why do you try to kill yourself with the booze?"

"Well aren't you the smart-ass now? I guess your balls finally dropped," Rick sneered. "Seems like you got more intelligent somehow."

"I don't know," Morty said. "I just know that I'm better than you think I am, and m...me and Summer are gonna do better than Mom, Dad, or you. I might not be anywhere near as smart as you, but I'm not going to st...stumble around the universe wrecking things for fun."

"Is that what you think I do?" Rick asked. "I come and rescue you from this suburban hell so you won't end up...urp... end up like your parents, and this is how you thank me? See if I do it again. I'll leave you here to rot."

"You just want me for a shield," Morty said. "How many times have y...you told me that you don't care about me?"

Rick quickly thought of how to turn the situation to his advantage, and it was shocking. The truth would actually work here.

"Morty, people I care about die. You aren't my original Morty, and I meant to use you, but can't you tell things are d...different now?"

"What happened to the other Morty then? Was he even the original, or am I just another one in a line of Morty's?"

"You're the l...last," Rick said. "I raised him as my own after his mother and father died in my dimension. It was just me and him and Summer, and he was my best little bu...buddy."

Rick felt tears, and he cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. "He was dumb, even for a Morty, but he thought he was smart. It got him killed. He got c...cocky, wanted to show me up. He got cocky and did something dumb."

"He was dumb?" Morty asked.

"Really dumb. Way dumber than you, but I loved him. I'm diff...different from the other Ricks. He was different from other Mortys."

"So he was the Mortiest M...Morty. You lied again."

"No. You are," Rick said. "I've never seen another Morty that could fight. You...you're like me, Morty. I don't like it, but you're like a Rick that's dumb as a brick."

"I'm nothing like you," Morty said. "I care about what happens to other people."

"I did once," Rick said, "before the other Morty died. I wanted to f...fix the universe."

"I don't believe you," Morty said. "What about Summer then? Did you r...run off and leave her all alone?"

"She died with Morty, but...you know what? It doesn't matter. I'm tired Morty. Get some blankets so I can sl...sleep and look after Phoenix Person."

"Yeah. Ok. Rick." He got the blanket from Summer's bed and put it over Rick. "Why don't you come sleep in my r...room?" he asked. "You shouldn't stay on a concrete floor."

"I need to be here when Phoenix Person wakes up," Rick said. "I need to m...m...make sure he's ok."

"You care more about him than you do your own family."

"Y...yeah. That's just how it goes, Morty."

After Morty left, Rick took Phoenix Person's wrist and checked his pulse.

"That is not necessary," Phoenix Person said. His formerly deep, rich voice was unrecognizable now, sounding mechanical and forced.

"How long have you b...been awake?" Rick asked.

"Long enough to hear the interaction between you and your grandson. I did not want to eavesdrop, but it seemed preferable to interrupting such an important discussion. I have not heard you talk about Morty's death in years."

"Don't make a b...big thing of it," Rick said. "I need him right now, so I said what he needed to hear. He's just another dumb-ass Morty."

"I am beginning to doubt that, as are you, I suspect."

"Yeah. The kid said something...I gotta follow up on it, but it can w...wait. I can't even get out of bed, and the little shit took my flask."

"I too have cautioned you about the use of alcohol."

Rick mumbled grumpily.

Phoenix Person sat up, looking down at Rick. "You are fortunate to have someone who cares for you as much as Morty. I believed I had found that, but when I saw my beloved Tammy die..."

He stopped and all the light left his eyes.

"She killed you and t...turned you into a cyborg slave," Rick said. "Don't grieve for that b...urp...bitch. She doesn't deserve it."

"And yet she is...was still by beloved Tammy."

"She's a jumble of fried tr...traitor now." Rick said.

"You killed her," Phoenix Person said. "I felt the connection between us break."

"Yeah," Rick said. "The b...bitch is dead."