Wisemen say, 'only fools rush in'.

But I can't help falling in love with you.

Oh, shall I stay? Would it be a sin?

For I can't help falling in love with you.

[Chuuya's P.O.V.]

I think I'm a sinner... A very big sinner. I fell in love with someone who just hurt me so badly in the end. He was the worst kind of person I could ever come across; a traitor. In a way, that traitor took a knife, my own knife, in fact... And not only did he pierce my heart, but his twisted the knife until it bled and bled... It wouldn't stop bleeding. He yanked the knife out, taking my heart with him, only to put it in my hands with that stupid smile of his plastered on his. And as I tried to fix my desperate heart, for fear of death, he took his first steps into a new world... One without me.

I stood there, trying to fit my heart back inside me... Kind of similar to a puzzle piece. But in the end, I just couldn't find the right place. It was like he erased the etching on the board to help you decipher which piece went where. Those simple lines needed for a children's puzzle; because yes, my heart was so easy to figure out... And just as easy to shred into a million pieces. After all of my efforts, I decided to cut odd ends of my heart and shove it into some new random space; I forced it to fit somewhere. And yet, beating at a decent rate in its new place, it continued to bleed. It cried droplets of crimson. And all I could do was bandage it up with alcohol and sleep. When I was out on work, my aggression had no end. When I got home, my heart's bandages were soaked with that crimson hue again. I would apologize avidly and resume to wrap it back up in the most expensive alcohol possible. Back to bed...

I always lay on the right side... Or so I wish I did. He always slept on the left side when he decided to crash in my room and I'd just let him lay there in peace until morning came. He had the prettiest face and left that spot warm the morning he left. I curl up on the left side in a hopeless attempt to find his warmth again, but it's been gone for a long time. There's a part of me that wonders: "How would he feel if I was the one who left?" Would he care? There's no way to know for sure, but if he left so easily... Then he probably wouldn't have cared all that much.

It really does make me a sinner to have fallen in love with such a man. I fell in love with the way his soft fingers caressed my cheeks. I fell in love with those beautiful eyes that lit up when I smiled or laughed. It almost made him appear to have cared. I fell in love with the heartbeat that lulled me to sleep as I laid my head on his chest at night. I fell in love with that dorky grin he always gave me when he was in a teasing mood. I fell in love with the chastity and warmth of his embrace when I was upset. I couldn't help it at all. I couldn't help it and at this point, I'm in tears just reminiscing any of it. Why did you leave me? Did you even think about how I felt? Was I just trash for you to keep pushing aside because you're too lazy to throw me away? Was our partnership nothing?

I ask myself all of these questions like the most annoying, broken record stuck on repeat. And yet, I find myself coming back to this one thought, each and every time.

"I can't help falling in love with you, Dazai Osamu."