Sanctuary
Maybe… waiting isn't good enough.
She stretched out on the sand, letting the fragments of grain caress her milky skin. Her bangs of scarlet fell over her bright eyes, shielding her sight from the fading sun—the screaming sun, shouting silently: "I'm leaving soon, bye-bye!"
She quietly bade it farewell.
Reaching up and brushing back her strands of hair, she watched with steady eyes as the sun sailed away behind tufts of swollen fuchsia and white clouds. Although the sun disappeared, she could still feel its warmth on the sand. You're gone, Sora… but I can still feel your warmth…
Her eyelids grew heavier as she listened to the canticle of the waves, filling her lungs with a deep breath of salty-sweet ocean air. She loved the aroma. She loved these shores. She loved the sunset. She loved…
The girl yawned, her eyes closing as she drew one hand to her mouth. It was so, so peaceful here… a sanctuary.
Her free hand felt strange sensation. Oddly calm, she slowly opened her eyes to see what was happening. Her gaze fell to that hand, only to see different, larger fingers grasping her own. Her pupils contracted as she followed the hand that held hers, trailing past a familiar arm, a familiar shoulder, a familiar neck… and finally, an awfully familiar face.
"Sora…?"
It sounded so peculiar to say his name out loud, for these days it only seemed to stay imprisoned within the confines of her mind. But she could say it now… because he—he was here.
Sora smiled, his hold on her hand tightening heartily. "Kairi…"
Kairi could only stare, amazed, seeing his body adjacent to hers—his eyes gazing at her full in the face. He was smiling, gently, his head propped up by an arm. He seemed so casual, although his sudden appearance was unexpected.
He was back.
Kairi opened her mouth to say something, to say everything she had wanted to tell him ever since he'd left. But now that she had the opportunity to, she couldn't. Now that he was actually here with her, the words were unable to come out. There was so much she wanted to inform him, to confess.
But she stayed unusually silent.
"Your hair," Sora whispered, letting go of her hand and imperceptibly touching the bangs near her cheek, "it's so long now."
Kairi grinned, her expression lighting up, her face feeling that long-lost strain from the cause of a smile. "Well, you look like you dyed your hair a lighter color."
"I did not," he replied presumptuously. "Why does everyone keep saying that?"
Shaking her head, Kairi continued smiling. She just couldn't stop, now that he had returned. She wanted to ask why, and to ask how, but perhaps it would ruin the moment. And it would hurt too much if it so happened that he was only back temporarily.
Sora shuffled to his feet, and Kairi's eyes fixed on him. As he moved, it almost looked as though his image were faltering, like a mirage… flickering, flashing in and out of focus. But he solidified so quickly that Kairi doubted what she had just seen.
Sora extended a gloved hand towards his lady friend, a goofy smirk resident on his face as he murmured, "Get up, lazy bum."
"If you insist." Kairi's answer was accompanied with a giggle. She placed her hand in his and allowed Sora to assist her in standing. Her eyes met his own as she straightened her posture. He reached for her other hand and held it like he had before they were separated—as if he never, ever wanted to lose her.
Sora inhaled, closing his eyes as he did so. "This place hasn't changed… not one bit."
Kairi's smile faded, though in the dark one could hardly notice. She stared at the outline of Sora's face, illuminated by the newly-arrived moon above them. The waves mumbled and crept up behind them, nearly reaching the soles of their shoes but failing to travel all the way. Soon enough, Kairi could feel Sora's warm, pleasant breath against the side of her face. Her heart drummed in her chest, practically slamming against her rib cage. She leaned forward, nestling her chin on his shoulder, her throat tightening as Sora mumbled words into her ear, his tone hushed.
"I've missed you so much… every day, every battle… you were the only one on my mind."
Kairi squeezed her eyes shut, tightly, releasing his hands and wrapping her arms around his midsection. Why couldn't she say anything? Why couldn't she tell him, just tell him, how much she missed him, how much she…
She felt Sora's hands rest against her back, and it couldn't feel more right. Her skin burned with a thousand explosions where he had touched her, her back tingled where he had hesitantly drawn her closer to his chest. No… it couldn't feel more right.
Tell him, Kairi urged herself, her breath stuck in her throat. Tell him already! You're such an idiot, Kairi! He's here, he's finally here… and you can barely say a thing!
Kairi's eyes opened, glistening, and Sora noticed the refrained tears. With a single finger he brushed at her soft cheek, causing a trembling exhale from his best friend. And that was it. They were best friends.
They were just best friends… right?
"I…" Kairi's voice broke, shaking, as if she were trying to sound out an extremely difficult word. "I… love…" She then sighed and stared downward, dejected. "I love your new outfit."
Sora was never one to really interpret matters such as "reading between the lines," but there always seemed to be a first time for everything. "I love your new outfit, too… Kairi."
And he smiled.
And Kairi looked up.
And before either of them could realize what they were doing, their faces were within a bare inch from each other's—lips almost touching.
Before Sora's mouth reached hers, Kairi turned her head in the slightest, looking away. Her arms dropped from his body. Sora drew back, no trace of dissatisfaction or discontent on his face. He simply smiled, understanding, unfastening his embrace and placing a hand on her shoulder.
"The other night," he began, "I was in the gummi ship, looking at the stars."
Kairi said nothing, staring fixedly at a stock-still palm tree.
"You know…" Sora bit his lip. "For each star I saw, I found a reason… a reason why I loved you."
Kairi's eyes widened, jerking her head in Sora's direction to ogle him in the eyes. Did he just say…?
"There were hundreds, Kairi," Sora continued, his expression upbeat. "So many stars—shining… alive."
Then Kairi snorted… quite randomly. She lifted her chin. "That sounds very—"
"Corny? Cheesy? Sappy?" Sora laughed. "Maybe, but it's true."
Kairi looked at him with a bewildered expression, but her eyes narrowed nonetheless. Prove it, she thought.
"I'll prove it," Sora answered.
It sounds impossible.
"It's possible," he urged. Sora smiled yet again—but it wasn't the same goofy one as earlier. It was different. It was sincere.
It was affectionate.
Kairi couldn't find any words to say, stricken momentarily mute. She bit her lip.
Sora's hand slid from her shoulder to her fingers, grasping them. "Look up."
And so, Kairi looked up.
She held her breath. Her eyes grew wide at the sight, disbelief flooding into her body. Stars. So many stars… dancing, waltzing across the sky like clustered ribbons, shooting in all different directions—she hadn't seen so many in her life! Wait a minute… she had. Months ago, maybe even a year ago, on the night she had last seen Sora, before he disappeared behind a glowing veil of starlight.
"Okay," Kairi finally whispered. "Prove it."
"If you insist," Sora replied agreeably, echoing what Kairi had said earlier. He dropped to the sand, patting the spot next to him for Kairi to sit. And she did, her shoulder brushing warmly against his.
Sora's gaze shifted from the sky to Kairi, his eyes bright with emotion. "I was doing great that night, too, matching reasons with stars."
Kairi's cheeks flushed a light pink, averting her eyes. But as soon as she heard his next sentence, she couldn't help but stare at him in mild interest.
"Too bad I ran out of stars… because I still had reasons."
Kairi blinked. Was he lying? He had to be. Seriously, how could he match a reason for every star he encountered, yet still have some reasons to spare?
"See that star?" Sora gestured upwards with a finger. Kairi shook her head. Then Sora rounded an arm at her waist, gently pulling her closer, pointing again. "Right there." This time, Kairi followed the line of his hand and then saw it. It was glittering in ethereality, spraying particles of shimmer across the lit-up sky.
"I see it."
"Well, I love you because of your smile. It really does make my day, you know."
Kairi couldn't help it—the corners of her mouth rose in a tiny grin. "Sora…?"
"Huh?"
She… wasn't afraid anymore. She could say it. She could tell him. Three hundred sixty-five days… and now she can tell him. She had to. She wanted to. She couldn't keep everything bottled within her forever. It was time to take a stand.
"Sora—I've missed you so much." Kairi locked eyes with him. "You were the only one on my mind, too, and… and I'm glad you're back. And your smile…"
They smiled at the same time.
Kairi's heart revved spiritedly, and she held her breath. "And I love you, Sora. I really, really do."
Sora shifted his weight to one side, closer to Kairi. He slid his arms around her, lowering his head and nuzzling her mane of vermilion hair. "It's… so good to be home."
Kairi closed her eyes before tears of relief could spill. Her hands secured at his shoulders, her fingers tightly gripping the fabric of his shirt. She smiled so widely that her cheeks hurt, and she couldn't tell if she was crying or laughing as her body slightly quavered in Sora's arms.
"Welcome home."
All at once, Kairi felt as though she were being injected by an anesthetic, as a sickening throb of nausea pulsed and rushed through her veins.
She let out a single breath before collapsing backwards, her shoulders thumping against the cushioned sand.
Blackness.
You're gone, Sora… but I can still feel your warmth…
Kairi's eyelids slowly fluttered—she felt lightheaded, and drowsy. She turned her head to the side, only to see that she was alone on the darkened shores. Her hands pushed against the sand as she sat up.
I'm… delusional.
In a fraction of a second, her cheeks were wet.
At the same time she wiped at her face with an arm, her eyes shifted towards the sky. Moonlight poured through the feathery clouds and—
There were a thousand blinding stars pirouetting across the sky.
Through a blurred vision, Kairi searched for the brightest star.
I love you because of your smile.
She swallowed hard, a smile adorning her lips. A smile… for him. And she kept her eyes on that star, something swelling up inside of her.
Maybe… waiting isn't good enough.