Jace felt it. The moment Alec's stomach fell, the moment his heart broke. It was like an ocean wave, crashing and drowning everything beneath it. He pressed a hand to his Parabatai rune and ran to find his brother, finding him in the hallway, with tears running down his cheeks.

"Alec, what happened?"

The boy blinked, sucking in a gasping breath and looking at his brother, surprised to see him there. Isabelle heard the commotion and came to see what was happening, arriving in time to hear Alec's shaking words.

"Magnus, he…he broke up with me."

Jace took his brother in his arms, holding him as he cried, just like Alec had done for him on that roof. The Lightwoods arms came around him, squeezing tight, as if he would fall apart if he weren't there.

Izzy covered her mouth with a graceful hand. "Oh, Alec."

Jace finished her thought, voice close to his parabatai's ear. "I'm so sorry."

He let out a sob, his words breaking Jace's heart. "I knew I'd screw this up, I knew I couldn't have everything I wanted. I just thought that, whatever else happened, if I lost my position as head of the institute, or I got de-runed, I'd always have Magnus. He said he loves me, and then he just…left. I can't believe it's over."

It took a while for him to calm down, and Jace and Izzy led him back to his room. He was close to having a panic attack, hands shaking as his chest heaved with breaths that came too fast. Jace was trying to comfort him, but there wasn't much he could do. He brushed the older boy's hair back as they sat on his bed.

"It'll be okay, he said he still loves you, so this can be sorted out. I'll talk to him, Alec, just calm down. You need to slow down your breathing."

"I love him, but I wasn't enough."

When he finally did stop crying, he was so exhausted he could do nothing but fall back into his bed. His breaths were still jumping from him, body unable to settle after being so distraught, but Izzy just held his hand as Jace took his boots off and pulled Alec under his blankets. They tucked him in and stayed with him through the night, so that he wouldn't have to sleep alone.

Jace was calm on the outside, but inside he was furious, and the flames of rage only grew into an inferno the next day. Alec woke, to find himself at the institute and not in his bed with Magnus, and remembered all that happened. But he didn't cry, this time he was angry.

He pulled his boots on in a hurry, and stormed to the armoury, even as Izzy begged him not to go.

"You can't go out on a mission right now, you're too distracted. You need to calm down first. Alec, Max could use you right now, you should stay with him and-"

Alec pulled his bow from its stand, and swung the quiver over his shoulder, before strapping on his thigh holster. His voice was hard, as if he was nothing but stone, and nothing could hurt him.

"I need to do my job, Izzy. Ma…Magnus left me to be a leader, so I need to be prepared for what might happen." Despite his stone façade, his voice wavered on the warlock's name and Izzy watched him with concern. Jace walked in just as Alec started tapping at a screen.

"What are you doing? Why are you all geared up?"

Alec didn't turn to look at him. "There are too many downworlders causing trouble right now, and more reports of demons than usual. Someone has to go out and deal with it."

Jace went to take Alec's arm, only to be thrown off. "You should coordinate the missions from here, this isn't a good time for you to be jumping into danger."

Alec was insistent, and unwavering. "I'm the head of this institute, Jace I can't just hide in my office while other people put their lives on the line."

Jace tried again, worried about the way Alec was so willing to throw himself into harm's way.

"You're not thinking clearly! Alec, I won't go with you on this mission."

Jace thought that would be the end of it, but Alec wouldn't back down. His voice was unfeeling, uncaring as he walked away.

"Fine, stay here and look after Max. Michael, get your team ready, we have a mission!" Alec took another team and left, his eyes hard.

Jace clenched his fists as Izzy moaned. "He's going to get himself killed!"

Jace stormed out, teeth clenched as he growled. "I'm going to kill that warlock!"

…

Jace arrived at Magnus' place and slammed his fists against the doors. "Let me in Magnus!" He had a few things to say, and he couldn't shout them through a door.

The high warlock opened his door, with an annoyed expression, already knowing why Jace was there. "If this is about your brother, you can save your speech. What happens in our relationship is between Alec and I."

Jace pushed his way inside, chest full of rage that he needed to unleash. "Well it seems like you don't have a relationship anymore since you broke up with him."

Magnus sighed, clearly annoyed, and shut his door. "That's none of your business."

"Actually, since Alec is my Parabatai, it is." He walked up to the warlock, stabbing an accusing finger at his chest. "You promised to protect him! I trusted you with my brother's heart and you broke it!"

Magnus pushed Jace's hand away. "I didn't want to break up with him, I love him, but I have to be a leader right now and I can't make the choices I need to, when I'm with Alec."

"He had to face the Clave and every shadowhunter in New York as Head of the Institute, while dating you! And he never felt the need to choose between you! Do you know how hard it was for him? He risked losing his family, his career, his runes, for you!"

Magnus shook his head. "He did that for himself, and it was what he needed to do, but now I have to look after my people and –"

Jace wasn't finished. "He's wanted to be head of the institute since he was a kid, and when I was appointed he told me that he knew he could never have it because he was with you! He knew what the consequences would be and he still chose you! ow He loves you Magnus, how could you do this to him?"

The warlock was unravelling, seeing the hurt in Jace's eyes. He remembered their conversation on the roof, where Jace had told him that he'd never let anyone hurt his brother, and Magnus had promised the same.

"It's not that simple, Jace, I can't just be with him because I want to. We're at war, and my people need to be protected."

"We're always at war! So, are you planning on getting back with him after Valentine is taken down, or is this a permanent thing?"

Magnus didn't want to think about it anymore, he wanted to shut his heart off and just think of his people, because the seelie queen was sure the shadowhunters would lose. He couldn't watch Alec die, and distancing himself now would be easier than being together when it inevitably happened. As Jace said, they're always at war, and Magnus would lose him eventually. He needed to think of his people.

"Mortal hearts are fickle, he'll find someone else."

Jace was yelling now, his expression a mix of hurt and anger, that was hard to look at. "I don't know if you know this about Shadowhunters, but when we fall in love it's for life, especially with Alec. Once he decides something he never changes his mind, and he chose you!"

Magnus was hurting, and he couldn't keep calm anymore. He yelled back, fingers balled into fists at his sides as magic crackled through his skin.

"He changed his mind when he chose to marry Lydia!"

"He changed his mind for you! He chose you, Magnus, he fell in love with you! There'll never be anyone else, you're it for him! And you left him! You broke his heart, and I will never forgive you for that!" Jace lowered his head, and softened his voice. He placed a hand on his parabatai rune, as his shoulders slumped in grief.

"He was finally happy, for the first time in his life, he was really, really happy."

Magnus swallowed, and tried to keep his emotions in check, snuffing out the flames flickering over his fingers.

"Are you done?"

Jace looked up at him in disgust. "Yeah, I'm done. Goodbye, Magnus."

The shadowhunter went to leave, turning to the door, before groaning in pain.

Magnus frowned, unsure of what the Nephilim was playing at.

Jace leant against the door, lifting his shirt to reveal his softly glowing parabatai rune. He pressed a hand to it and hissed in pain and he cursed.

"Dammit, Alec. What did you do?"

The rune glowed brighter and Jace cried out, knees buckling as he fell to the floor in pain. Magnus came to his side, voice panicked.

"Is it Alec?" Jace nodded and groaned in pain once more, before shoving the warlock away. "I don't need your help, I'll save him on my own."

Magnus stumbled back, his heart pounding in his chest as Jace tried to stand on his own.

"I still love him, I want to help if I can."

Magnus could barely breathe through his panic, if anything happened to his angel he'd… He didn't know what he'd do.

Jace obviously didn't want to admit it but he couldn't walk all the way back to the institute by himself with his rune pulsing with pain. He swore and waved Magnus over.

"Fine, give me a portal but you don't get to talk to him!"

The warlock nodded and summoned the glowing whirlpool of magic, picking up one of the shirts that Alec left behind, to track him. Magnus took Jace's wrist and pulled them both into the portal, arriving abruptly in the institute.

There was a lot of yelling going on, and a small crowd of people gathered outside the infirmary. Jace ran towards them, hand still pressed firmly to his side.

"Where's Alec!"

One of the Nephilim that had been on the mission with Alec, turned to him with fearful eyes, clothes splattered with fresh blood, but not his own.

"He…the demon was so fast and it wasn't alone like we thought. He tried to take it on by himself and it…by the time we got to him he was already bleeding out. We got him here as fast as we could. The healers won't let anyone in."

Magnus' heart clenched painfully, at the thought of his darling angel, bleeding out and alone. Jace let out a guttural yell as he charged at the warlock.

"You did this!"

Magnus summoned a protective wall between himself and the shadowhunter, but Jace just kept pounding away at the shimmering barrier. "I didn't do anything! I didn't want this!"

Jace's eyes filled with tears as he slammed his hands against the invisible wall. "He loves you, and you abandoned him!" He fell to his knee's tears falling down his cheeks as he panted.

Magnus took down his protective barrier, his own eyes dampening as Jace spoke with a voice laced in hate.

"If he dies, I'll kill you myself."

...

It took three hours for the healers to finish, and Izzy came out to speak the crowd of people waiting. She'd helped work on her brother, and her eyes were a little glazed over when she came out. Jace stood from his seat and took her hands.

"Izzy, how is he?"

She looked up at him as Magnus came close to hear what was said. "The demon stabbed him with one of its claws and it broke off in his side. There was poison on it and he lost a lot of blood so it was touch and go for a little while, but he's stable. He's going to be okay."

Jace hugged her, the girl letting out small hiccupping sobs as she hugged him back. It was awful seeing her big brother so hurt, but he was okay, and that's all that mattered. Jace kissed her forehead and released her.

"Can I see him?" She nodded and wiped her eyes, watching Magnus curiously as Jace raced off to see his brother.

The warlock looked as if he wanted to follow the shadowhunter, but he was frozen to the spot, face a mix of fear and longing. Isabelle's voice was quiet.

"Why would you break up with him if you still loved him? You'd know how much it would hurt him and yet you did it anyway. I thought we were friends Magnus, but…Alec's my big brother, and you broke his heart."

Magnus sucked a breath, eyes scrunching shut as he unsuccessfully tried to hold back his tears. His voice was strained and his whole body, tense. "I'm a leader for my people, I can't have everything that I want. I had to leave him in order to assure my peoples survival. I didn't want to hurt him. It hurt me too, Isabelle."

Izzy could see how much it hurt him, and she gently took his arm. "You should talk to Alec."

...

Alec groaned in pain as he tried to get comfortable in the infirmary bed, but it's hard to when your side is burning. He'd been stupid to go on that mission, and even more stupid to take on the demon himself, but he'd had to do something. He had IV's in his arms, providing pain relief and fluids, but he still felt sick from the demon venom.

He was so weak he could barely lift his arms to adjust his blankets, and he lay there, blinking up at the ceiling, and thinking of the one person he couldn't have. The one person that he wanted more than anything, and didn't want him back.

The door opened, and Alec barely had time to look up before his brother was hugging him. Jace's arms wrapped around his Parabatai as he panted, quickly pulling back to look Alec over as questions bubbled out of him.

"Are you okay? How do you feel? What happened out there?!"

Alec leaned back into his pillows as Jace held his arm, not wanting to let go just yet. "I'll heal. And before you yell at me, I know going on that mission was dumb, but I promise I didn't do this on purpose. I just… I couldn't sit in my office all day, thinking about him. I had to do something."

Jace opened his mouth to reply, when the door opened once more, this time allowing Magnus and Izzy through. The warlock's breath hitched when he saw him lying there, bandages wrapped around him, tubes and wires covering his arms and chest, face pale.

His lip wobbled and he trapped it between his teeth to make it stop.

Alec looked at him with those beautiful eyes, but they were full of pain, and betrayed every ounce of hurt that Magnus had caused him.

Jace stood from the bed, glaring at the warlock. "What are you still doing here? You don't get to see him!"

Magnus blinked, eyes wet. "I wanted to make sure he was okay. You aren't the only one worried about him."

Jace clenched his teeth and drew his seraph blade. "I don't care what you want. You don't get to see my brother after what you did."

Izzy stepped in front of the warlock, hands outstretched as she pleaded with Jace. "Put that away, just calm down. Magnus isn't going to hurt him, he just wants to talk. Give them a chance to sort this out."

Jace looked at her as if betrayed, eyes burning with anger. "He already has hurt him! This is his fault! Alec could have died and it would have been because of Magnus!"

The warlock's voice broke. "I know! I made a mistake, I thought that I would be able to stay away, and I thought that if I left you now, I wouldn't have to watch you die. I thought it would be easier."

Alec lifted a weak hand to his parabatai. "Jace, please let me talk to him."

The blonde turned his eyes to Alec, face awash with worry. "He could hurt you again."

The Lightwood nodded. "I know, but he won't." Jace finally relented, stepping aside to allow the warlock through.

"I'm so sorry, Alexander. The seelie queen is so sure that Valentine's going to win, and that I was going to lose you. I've already lost so many people, I couldn't stand to see you die. If I ended it with you, I'd be able to take care of my people, and I wouldn't have to lose you. I know it doesn't make sense, but it…it hurt less that way. I could hope that you survived and moved on."

Alec took his shaking hand in his own, drug clumsy fingers. His touch was soft, and so gentle, that Magnus let out a sob. Because of what he'd done, Magnus could have lost that touch forever. God, what had he done?

"I know we won't have forever, but I don't want to lose you either, Magnus. I just thought that I meant more to you than some war. I'm mortal, I know that, but whatever time I have I want to spend with you."

The warlock sat on the edge of the bed, taking Alec's face in his hands, and looking into the eyes that he loved so much. "I'm so sorry for doing this to you, Alexander. I was wrong. I can't stay away from you. You are the love of so many of my lifetimes, and I don't want to be apart."

Alec offered him a smile and pulled the warlock close, brushing Magnus' lips with his own. "Good. I love you, Magnus. And I forgive you, just don't leave me again."

The immortal nodded, as Alec thumbed his tears away. Alec pulled him closer, and kissed him, lips clumsy but happy. Magnus finally felt like he could breathe again. Alec was okay, and they were together again.

Alec was getting tired though, and he sighed, content, as he tugged Magnus onto the bed with him. Magnus smiled and held him as the Nephilim curled into his chest. His voice was quiet and slurred as he mumbled sleepily.

"I missed you."