A/N: I really don't know where this came from. I just imagined this conversation between Damon and Bonnie in their Afterlife. Let me know what you think

Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or otherwise Silas and Katherine would not have died like punks.

Pity is for the Devil that Lost the Grace of God

The Rose that Grew From Concrete

Did you hear about the rose that grew

from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it
learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping its dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared.

Tupac Shakur

"Judgy, why are you just sitting there? You need to help me find a way back to the land of the living. Elena needs me," he said with all the desperation and panic surfacing in his voice.

"Because I am tired, Damon," she said in a small voice. It was a disgusting sound to him; to find that the one person that would always fight so hard sounded so weak, so human.

"Baby Gilbert is probably crying his eyes out right now and so we need to go so you can cradle him and lead him around like a baby duck," he spat out.

"He'll be fine without me Damon. We had our time together and we made wonderful memories together so he shouldn't lose himself without me….."

"Well, I don't know Judgy, it's going to take a while for Baby Gilbert to find more pussy."

"You are disgusting but that doesn't matter, he knows that I do not exist now that the Other Side is gone."

"Yeah about that, why do we exist?"

"My Grams," she said with a slight smile.

"But when I pictured my peace, I never thought that you would be here and now I know that the universe is playing a cosmic joke on me."

"Hey you are not my ideal person either Judgy that's why we need to find a way out of here and you need to help me."

"Damon, do you know why I told Jeremy to lie for me about being dead?"

"You didn't want your friends to suffer over your death, which I gotta say is pretty selfish of you."
"Great, the most selfish being on Earth is telling me I am selfish now I know that God is that little kid with a magnifying glass burning random ants to death."

"Please Judgy, if you don't want the truth than don't ask my opinion."

"Damon, I didn't want Jeremy to say anything because I didn't want to be brought back to life because the consequences would have been dire and I didn't want you guys to pay it."

"Please those consequences would have been easy look at what happened with Jeremy which his little medium routine came in handy."

"Damon, do you even remember where I was at when I died the first time?"

"Well Silas and Expression were messing with your mind but we could have found some way to help you before you lowered the veil."

"You Damon couldn't have. I lowered the veil to save you guys."

"If unleashing hordes of undead supernaturals is your way of saving us than you really were fucked in the head." She sighed expressing in that single sound all her frustration and tiredness with this conversation.

"Damon, when I lowered the veil, I had three different types of magicks flowing through me. I channeled the spirits, I conquered Expression and finally I crossed over into Black magic. Do you know what having that amount of power does to people? I felt like I could destroy the Earth and rebuild it with a single thought and I probably could if I tried. But the most frightening thing of all, I would have gleefully watched the people I loved die by my hand and do untold amount of evil on them. I would have loved to watch my enemies die a thousand deaths and unleash death on millions and watch as their blood soaked my feet as I danced and watched their bodies burn all to fuel my need for more power. I would have done all that Damon with a smile on my face."

"Well, that is….." he trailed off not knowing how to comment on that revelation.

"Yeah, I know. That's why I lowered the veil; not because I wanted to give Jeremy back to Elena. I poured every ounce of my soul in order to lower the veil between the planes to stop myself from destroying everything I held dear. You either die the hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

"Oh Don't go quoting the Dark Knight at me Judgy."

She laughed, "didn't take you for a movie buff. But the quote is apt, lowering the veil was the lesser of two evils and I knew if I put the veil back up with me on the living side nothing would have changed so I took Jeremy's place and balanced everything."

"Okay, but that still doesn't explain why you didn't want to be brought back to life."

"If I let you guys restore me, there would be a chance I would come back with all that power because energy is not destroyed and can only be transferred from vessel to vessel."

"But the more powerful supernaturals were able to stay on the living side using all that energy so your argument is mute."

"I didn't know that at the time."

"God, forbid you know everything, Judgy."

"I never said I knew everything Damon. I saw what was going to happen and I made a decision."

"What I don't get is why you never said anything to us."

"Oh please, in between dealing with Silas and no humanity Elena, when were you all supposed to help me? I don't need anyone to clean up after me, Damon. I learned a very long time ago that the best person to help me is me."

"Well, that motto is kind of stupid since you are the paragon of helpfulness and self-sacrifice."

"Everything I did to help Elena was in essence out of duty. She didn't deserve the chaos that swirled around her for being the doppelganger albeit now I know it was only because there were two of them around. She was my sister and I had a duty to protect her with everything I had because she was family."

"Yet your blood family couldn't be bothered to help you," he said absentmindedly and realized that he had said something he shouldn't have said by the hurt that flashed in her green eyes.

"I'm sorry…I didn't…."

"It's okay. It's because my parents didn't see fit to love me like they should have that I developed that concept about family. Abby chose to disappear after she fought Mikael and then she chose to not stay after she transitioned. Rudy chose to dive into his work after she left and Grams for how wonderful she was could not fulfill those roles for me. They chose and I lost but I still loved them in my own way," she said finishing mournfully with no tears in her eyes because in the end she was stating a fact and not an opinion.

Damon could not understand what he was hearing and seeing. The girl he thought was the toughest even withstanding the amount of pain she endured daily as the anchor and then passing people back to the side of the living was now laying bare the amount of true pain she had within her soul and to him it paled in comparison to anything he had ever seen before.

After a while she began again, "so that's why I am tired and I don't really want to find a way back. Elena, Caroline and Jeremy can take care of themselves, so I have done my duty and I am going to rest. But you are welcomed to find a way back but more than likely our friends will find a way to bring you back so you don't need to go crazy. Knowing that group anything is possible," She reclined on the rock next to the stream and lazily trailed her fingers though the water and began humming a soft lullaby in tune with the babbling brook.

"Dammit, Bonnie," he said but not at the frustration of her refusing to help but at the fact she just unloaded every scar she had on him and expected him not to react to her words. He got up and walked away into the forest.

He wanted to pity her for the stuff she had said but he knew that if he showed her that she would only scream at him because someone that spoke that matter of fact did not need nor want anyone else's pity. And he always understood that pity was a selfish emotion that never helped the person being pitied but only allowed the pity-er to cover the relief they felt over not suffering the same fate. Therefore, he would not pity her. She had made peace with the life she had lived. However, if he was anything he was a selfish bastard. He was going to find a way out of this peace because this existence was boring and he had the love of his life to get to but most importantly he had to repay Judgy for the feels. The first time he fought to bring her back, he did it for Elena but this time he was going to teach Judgy that she didn't know everything because life wasn't about duty and pain. Yes, he was going to teach her how to make the world her bitch.