Spoiler Alert! Just a quick warning before you read on ahead. This story takes place seven years after the Elder Goth saga and may contain spoilers from both the Elder Goth (which I haven't finished writting) and the upcoming sequel (which I haven't writen yet). With that said, proceed with caution if you're following the Elder Goth story, and I hope you enjoy. This story is going to be a short multi-chapter one, so you don't have to wait too long for updates.

Happy reading!

Yours Affectionately,

-A.C. Lucius

It was just after lunch when I found a note in my locker. It didn't say from who though. "Meet me in the quad after school" was all it said. I pocketed the letter, hoping it wasn't some trick to ambush me and went to class. When the final bell rang, I hung back letting Tweek know that I was staying after. My quirky best friend just shrugged tremulously before increasing his stride to catch up with the Goth Kids. Yeah, things have changed in the span of seven years which is to be expected. Tweek, Pip, and I hang with the Goths now and are Goths ourselves.

Now I know what you're probably thinking and you got the wrong idea. Henrietta and the guys really aren't so bad. In fact, they've been on the straight and narrow for the past seven years since Mrs. Saunders (The Elder Goth as we call her) became our music teacher at South Park Elementary. The decadent foursome, and Mr. and Mrs. Saunders have been exceedingly kind to Tweek, Pip, and me. The three of us were social outcasts with no one but each other, and they reached out to let us know that we weren't invisible; they made us feel human. We grew so comfortable in their company that we eventually became one of them. It was inevitable of course, but more on that later…

I sat in the empty classroom and waited for the halls to empty out before making my way to the quad. I walked as slow as I possibly could, what was the big hurry? Especially considering that it might be a trap. I still get bullied and beaten up an awful lot after all. I opened the door leading out to the quad and there was no one there. The wind enveloped me in a cold embrace as I stood there looking around expectantly. Nothing. So, was this the trick? I looked at the note I found in my locker before pocketing it again. I guess the only way to know was to wait. I sat on the snowy bench in the middle of the quad and waited. And waited. And waited…

It was getting late. Aside from the jocks who had football practice and the other extracurricular clubs, the school was almost completely abandoned. Just as I was about to give up and go home, the sound of crunching snow alerted me to the presence. I stood up suddenly preparing to run if need be, but I relaxed as soon as I saw who it was.

Kenny, the boy that I've been friends with for most of our lives and have only learned of my feelings for but less than a year ago. He just stood there looking at me, the hood of his orange jacket covering his head; a sullen look on his face. The image of him kissing Craig immediately filled my vision, Craig looking gloatingly at me and flipping me off without parting his lips from him. Sadness and anger roiled combatively inside my chest, and because sadness was more painful, I decided to let anger win this battle. It seems that all I'm capable of feeling lately is anger. At the moment, I didn't seem to be alone in that sentiment. He just stood there gloweringly, perhaps waiting for me to speak.

"Did you leave a note in my locker?" I asked darkly.

He didn't answer. Instead, he walked past me and beckoned me to follow. I sighed, I guess that's a yes. We wound up at our usual spot, a shaded area of brick wall at the far end of the quad. This must've been a lot more serious than I thought. This was our spot where we would exchange secrets and tell each other our problems. We held each other in such confidence until a week ago. How could everything have gone so totally wrong?

Kenny stopped walking and turned to face me. He pulled his hood down, revealing his wheat colored hair and began surveying my appearance. I must look like a mess to him; I was still slightly bruised and scratched up from the beating I took last week. My boney arms were covered in scars and still fresh wounds from cutting myself, and I hadn't slept in days. There were bags under my eyes and my hair was a mess, I was starting to look like Tweek. All the evidence of my suffering was exposed for the world to see; I couldn't help but feel naked as Kenny took it all in. Those perceptive eyes of his always seem to be trying to burn holes into everything he looks at.

"Jesus man," he said shaking his head, "what the fuck happened to you?"

"You sure you want to know?" I said sardonically, "Do you even care at this point?"

"What's that suppose to mean? What is this even about?"

"Doubt." I answer flatly, "Doubt is what got me into this whole mess. Our friendship was important to me, you were important to me. But because I wanted something more, doubt was there to cock block me."

Kenny became very still and stared blankly at me as realization dawned on him.

"Are you saying what I think your saying?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter," I shook my head looking at the ground.

"Doesn't matter? So you think that-"

"Why don't you just tell me why you're here?" I interrupted.

He looked at me gloweringly before leaning against the wall and looking away from me. He reached into his pocket and took out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. He pulled two out of the pack and lit them both offering me one. I took it gratefully and began sucking it down. This was going to be a long conversation…

"I'm here because of you," said Kenny, "because I broke up with Craig…" he added with some difficulty.

Well, that's news to me! I thought, startled by this new information. "I don't see how that's my fault, but if you say so…" I reply feigning indifference.

"I'm not blaming you, damn it! Can you stop being a dick for two seconds and listen?"

Oh my gosh… I thought, Is it me or is he about to cry?

"Whoa, hey man, I'm sorry…" I reached out to touch his shoulder consolingly but he shrugged my hand away. Now who's being a dick?

"He said there was someone else," he continued, "he also told me about what he did to you…"

Oh, so that's what this is about…

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth from the beginning?"

"How could I?" I said, "Would you have believed me? I did try to tell you, but you didn't look like you were prepared for it. And as jealous as I was, I also didn't want to ruin your relationship."

"So now you're a martyr?"

"Look who's talking!"

"That is so beside the point," said Kenny now getting frustrated, "we're here to talk about you. To discuss why in the world you haven't been acting like yourself. I want to know why you would go out of your way to lie to me about my boyfriend being an ass, and why you took the fall for a crime you didn't commit!"

"For the record, you should've already known that Craig is an ass." I replied smartly, "As for my actions or lack thereof, that is a very long story."

"I don't have anywhere to be."

I sighed. He would say that, but how do I begin? Should I tell him about what Craig did? About how Eric stole his computer? It's all so overwhelming when I think about it now; there was so much going on that my mind hasn't quite processed it all yet. How can he expect to in just one sitting? Okay Kenny McCormick, you asked for it! I'm going to tell you the truth whether you like it or not…

I smothered out the butt of my cigarette and reached into my pocket for my own pack. I lit up a another and just stood quietly for a few moments trying to collect my thoughts. Looking at the sky, I had just taken notice that it was already dark. Boy, it sure has gotten late. Good thing my parents stopped trying to ground me.

"Have you ever seen that movie Spirited Away?" I asked him.

He just shrugged looking away from me at nothing in particular. Kenny just looked so indifferent, but at the same time he listened intently to what I was saying.

I took a deep shuddering breath. God, it felt so good to breathe when I was angry. My body automatically wanted to start meditating, to relax, but I wouldn't allow myself to. I didn't want to you see, I didn't want to have control because then I'd be allowing myself to feel which would've been too painful.

"Well you know that part a little towards end?" I pressed on, "Where Chihiro tells Haku his true name and he says, 'That's right! I remember now, I was the spirit of the Kohaku River!' and then he goes on to tell Chihiro about how he's been trying to find his way home for a very long time? It turns out that he couldn't find his way home because the Kohaku River was dammed up with pollution."

"Where are you getting at with this, Butters?" Kenny interrupted now looking at me.

I sighed. "Well, there is a point to all this if you care to listen…"

He just grunted shrugging and looking away from me again. It's just so depressing that we can't even have a friendly conversation anymore, but then we would have to still be friends in order for that to happen.

"In a sense," I continued, "our bodies are rivers and we are all just like Kohaku trying really hard to find our way home. You see, our bodies have these things called chakras. There are seven of them running vertically up ours bodies from the bases of our spines to the crowns of our heads. Each of these chakras represent an emotion and an aspect of the human personality. And in each of these chakras flow a special energy called chi. If you block off any of these chakras, your chi can't flow freely and you become as stagnant and polluted as the Kohaku River."

"Why are you telling me this?" Kenny asked with desperation disguised as irritability. It's amazing how I could still read him so well.

"Because you wanted to know what happened to me!" I shot at him, "And I'm telling you, okay? I've been through some pretty rough times, and I haven't been able to tell myself that I will be happy again like I usually do. I haven't been able to smile and laugh it off, or tell myself I should be grateful for my sadness because I'm not! All of these emotions became too painful for me, it got to the point where I just didn't want to feel anything anymore. So I blocked off my heart chakra and now I'm polluted too. The longer I remain this way, further away from home I get…"

I wanted to cry, but wouldn't let myself as aforementioned. The sadness just ebbed painfully in my heart for a few moments before it got swallowed up by my black chi. I decided to settle for sliding down to the ground with my back pressed to the brick wall into a crouching position. I looked up at the starry sky and let myself get lost in the vastness of the galaxy. I could see the North Star and the Big and Little Dippers. I became so engrossed in staring at the twinkling lights, that my mind became a total blank.

But I would be brought back to reality soon enough…