A/N: Apologies for not posting a story yesterday. It was my birthday, so I was going to post a special birthday-themed tale after the party, but it ran later than expected. Two stories today! They would have been posted earlier, but a friend introduced me to RWBY. Have an excellent day! Read and review, if you please!
The Aftermath
by MiscellaneousSoup
2: 00 pm…
It was party time at the Batcave! Wonder Woman and Superman stood near the head of the table, laying out party decorations and food. Batman was upstairs, being distracted by Alfred.
"So, you think Bruce will enjoy the party?" Wonder Woman asked.
Superman adjusted the streamers. "Hopefully! I don't want all this work to go to waste."
Batman kicked the door open and threw multiple Batarangs across the room, destroying everything. Silently, Superman weeped.
Wonder Woman gathered up the fallen photos. "What was that for, Bruce?"
Batman shrugged. "It's my seventy-fjfth anniversary, Diana. I can do whatever I want! Technically, I'm an old man! Hey, Supes, what's wrong? Remembering your dead family?"
"Bruce!" Alfred primly walked down the stairs. "That's a horrible thing to say. Have you been drinking?"
Batman rolled his eyes. "No, I haven't- hic! Excuse me. I haven't been drinking. I've been sampling the wine cellar's contents. Alcoholics drink! I sample. Hey! Wonder Woman!"
Wonder Woman turned to face Bruce. "What is it?"
Batman hiccuped and fell over slightly. "I have a lot of tv shows and comics and toys and movies and stuff. You don't have a movie! One show, some parodies, and a failed pilot! NO MOVIES!"
Wonder Woman threw Batman through the wall. Grumbling, she left, dragging a still-crying Superman with her.
Batman crawled out of the gaping hole in the wall, caked with dust. "WHINERS! I'll have my own party. Alfred, get me my beer!"
Alfred sighed. It was going to be a long day.
3:03 pm…
Batman stood next to the karaoke machine. "Ohhhhh, when you've had a BAT day, you're BATMAN, you swing a Batarang just to hit that last thug! Batman loves karaoke!"
3:25 pm…
"Grab that Joker, bash his face! Grab that thug, smash his face! I'll be counting bats!"
3:56 pm…
"In the jungle, in the jungle, the Batman stops the crime! WOOOO!"
4:42 pm…
"And you'll always be foiled-FOILED- because Batman's' on the scene…"
7:09 pm…
Batman stopped drunkenly singing the Brady Bunch theme song. "ALFREEEDDD! I'm out of song parodies! Name more songs! Alfred? Where are you?"
Upstairs, Alfred sat in a comfortably plush armchair, sipping tea and reading a thick novel. Smiling, he patted his extremely thick earmuffs.
Batman huffed. "Fine, I'll go stop some crime instead. TO THE OUTSIDE!" He lept out of window...and fell down ten stories to, if not death, then a very painful landing.
THE END