I think I'm kinda going bonkers with this thought, so I figured… I might as well write a fanfic about it to relieve all my craziness. I can't believe I'm doing this. I just think they're so cute together.

Sadly, I DO NOT own iCarly, but if I did, I'd totally put this as an episode and shock the nation!

Enjoy?

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It's been a while since we started junior year of high school, and boy is it rough! The younger kids are just too kiddish for us to be around, so we had to start associating with them older kids. I always thought I was crazy and demented, but these older kids… they're just psychotic and well… mean! Ya know, just because I dress like a tomboy and act like one sometimes doesn't make me a lesbian. Well… I guess picking a fight with the Senior boys didn't help my reputation either… but you know what I mean! It's just all kinds of stupid because even thought I shouldn't care, and I normally wouldn't… I do. It really does bug me… a lot.

But ya know what? I think the thing that is worse than being called a lesbo dyke is that… well… maybe I do like girls. But I guess a lot of people expected that from good ol' Sam Puckett, right? Ham and bacon loving, the tough tomboy bully, Sam Puckett. That's what gets me the most… that people expected it from me. Still… what might be the WORST part of this whole thing is… I think might have a crush on my best friend.

Carly Shay! Kinda predictable too, huh? I mean, we only spend every second of our free time together ever since… well… forever! It just makes me kinda wanna puke all kinds of junk when I think about liking or loving Carly any more than I should. I've been having all kinds of demented ideas and dreams about her too. Actually… I think the absolute worst part of this thing is that Carly Shay, the good girl, perfect student, would never think the same way about me. No way, no how! Freddie's got a better chance than I do… actually, no. I take that back, Freddie has negative four billion chance, but my chances aren't very high either.

All this thinking just gets me freaked out and I can barely concentrate sometimes. Even beef jerky doesn't cheer me up anymore… not even beating Freddie up can put a smile on my face… it's kinda sad… I know.

"Sam!" A familiar voice called for me, and I almost shivered when I realized who it was.

"Carly." I broke out of whatever doze I was in and looked up at her. Damn her and her chocolate hair, all soft and "touch me!" smooth. It's not fair, really. I really should start wearing double eye patches or something.

"Coming over to work on some ideas for the show later today? Freddie's actually got some funny ideas this time." She tilted her head, handing me a soda. What period were we in again? Oh yeah, lunch.

"Um. Yeah sure." I faked a smile and downed that soda like it was made out of gold. Actually… that sounds kinda gross.

"What? No obscene comment about how stupid Freddie is?" Carly giggled, which made me almost choke on my drink. Being Carly, she just had to pick up on my mood. "You seem down. Wassup?" She leaned forward and pulled my drink away from my face. I don't think I even tried to look up because I knew my nose would start bleeding or something.

"Hey, soda back please!" I grabbed it back quickly and turned away to avoid speaking, sucking the air at the bottom of my empty cup. I felt her plop onto the table and rest her head on her hands, looking up at me.

"It's not those stupid boys again, right?" How does she do that? I mean, can she read my mind or something? It kind of made me smile 'cause she knows me enough to figure me out so easily, but at the same time, I gave me the heebie jeebies. Not like the "I'm totally freaked out" kind, but like the "I can't stand keeping secrets from you" kind.

"N-No…" was all I could squeak out. What a dweeb I am.

"They're all just a buncha jerks and whackjobs anyway. They don't know anything. It's not like you are …" Carly continued talking. It made me want to throw up some more because she was defending me and assuming all kinds of things… when I know who I was… but just didn't have the guts to tell my own best friend.

"Okay… so… like… what if I am?" I couldn't believe I said that out loud. Carly gave me one of those "Are you serious?" faces, which made me want to take back what I said. The last thing I'd want is for my best friend to FREAK OUT because of that. "You know… just… hypothetically." I took another long sip from my empty cup and felt my face getting really hot.

"Well… then… hypothetically… you'd still be Sam, right?"

"Yeah…?"

"Then… hypothetically… nothing changes. You'd still be my best friend." Carly tapped my arm and smiled. I shouldn't have drunk my soda so fast. I let out the hugest burp I have ever let out, it was nuts! If I wasn't so light headed, I would've totally made some comment about how awesome it was. Either it was the soda, or this whole thing, but my stomach was going all queasy cheesy on me.

"Thanks Carly." I giggled out but she wasn't laughing.

"But um… are you?" She tilted her head again.

"Um…" I held my breath and hoped to pass out; I mean I felt like I was going to die anyway. I considered running away or hiding in a trash can or something but Carly gave me that puppy look that always gets her brother. It usually doesn't get me, but nothing makes sense now anyway. "Maybe?" I gulped and gave her a grin.

"Maybe? With who?"

"What do you mean? Just 'cause I might like girls doesn't mean I'm dating one." I whispered to her, making sure I was keeping as quiet as possible. Carly oohed at me and nodded. Then, I swear, I was going to get sick. Both of us stopped talking and things just got really awkward real fast.

"Since when?" The words probably finally sunk in for her, and she started asking random questions again.

"U-um… I don't know… I guess I've always kinda known? I don't know… It's just really awkward to talk about, Carly…" I shook my head and stood up to leave.

"Wow, that's intense." She stood up too.

"Yeah. You're the only one I've told..." I kept my head down and stepped away. "You know what? It might not even be true, ya know? Could be a phase, or some stupid teenage hormones. Stupid ovaries." I patted my stomach angrily and heard Carly giggle before she pulled me into a side hug.

"Aw, Sam. Don't worry about it. It's no big deal." She nudged the side of my face with the top of her head and smiled. "See? Still best friends." My heart couldn't have pumped any faster. I felt like I just ran a hundred miles in the summer, because I was feeling really hot all over and just out of breath. I gave her a quick smile and nodded my head before pulling away from her.

"Thanks. The bell's gonna ring, gotta get to English class." I threw a thumb over my shoulder to point at the clock before bolting out of the door.

"Sam getting to class on time? Whoa." I managed to hear Carly say before I left the cafeteria.

The rest of the day went by pretty fast since I wasn't paying any attention anyway; all I could think about was what Carly really thought about me being… well… you know. Did she suspect anything? Ugh, I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. Carly met me at my locker after school and we walked to where Spencer was. Thank god Spencer was really excited about some new sculpture he was making… the Pine Conophone, or something like that, because I swear I wasn't able to look up the entire ride to Carly's. And for once… I was kinda glad that Freddie was going to be with Carly and me today.

We walked into Carly's apartment, where Spencer finally stopped talking about it, saying how he had to go back out to collect more pine cones and tree sap or something. Carly and I looked at each other the second he closed the door and both of us laughed awkwardly, oh brother was this gonna be hard.

"So… um… w-what kinda ideas did Freddie think of?" I gestured at the pile of papers entitled "show ideas" on Carly's coffee table. I guess I was the only one feeling awkward, since Carly just shrugged and went to the fridge as if nothing was bothering her.

"What? You not hungry?" She called from the kitchen, slamming the fridge door after grabbing two juice pouches. "You telling me that you don't want to raid my fridge and eat every bit of meat and junk food?" She tossed me a pouch and stuck the straw in hers, sipping happily and waiting for me to speak.

"Uh. Neh. I'm not that hungry today." I really wasn't lying either. It was kinda wrong and immoral for me to not be sticking my head in every corner of Carly's fridge. But… I just couldn't eat with everything going on in my head. I just wanted to puke all the time.

"Hm. Weird." She shrugged and picked up the papers. "Here. So, Freddie was thinking… we could start the show off by…" Carly started rambling on about the show, but I really just couldn't focus. She snuggled up against me to show me the papers. We'd always been really close, but ever since I started thinking about this, I just couldn't stand being so close to her. My ears might pop, my face might explode! I just wanted Freddie to barge in already, as much as I hated that kid, I just wanted him to come in and start drooling all over Carly so I could just feel mad instead of whatever I was feeling right now. "…-so which one?... Sam? Hello?" Carly waved her hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I looked around, trying to focus on whatever piece of paper she had in her hand.

"You look sick…" She leaned forward into my face to get a good look of me. Too close. Tooo close! I backed up and jumped onto the couch but fell off the back. "Sam!"

"Agh…" I rubbed the side of my pounding head and gave Carly an embarrassed look. She let out a small laugh but ran over to help me up. I was up before she could even get to me.

"Sam, you've been acting really weird. Is there anything else you wanna talk about?" She took a step forward, I took a step back.

"Uh." Thankfully, Freddie walked in just then, holding his dorky laptop and wearing his belt-o-tech.

"Hey Carly! …Sam." He greeted us, Carly waved and I grunted, pushing my hair back to place.

"Ready to go over this week's show?" He looked at us with his doofy head. I probably looked like a wreck, and Carly was just confused as heck. He let out a sigh and grumbled. "Let me guess. Sam probably doesn't like my ideas, right?"

"No, I like them. You're just a dweeb." Time for me to become normal Sam again. I rushed to the fridge and grabbed a rack of ribs, tearing into it as soon as I got my hands on it.

"O-kay…" I could see Carly shrugging at Freddie and begin talking to him about the show. Once I was in the clear, I put down the cold ribs and sighed, wiping the sauce from my face. I watched her for a few minutes, feeling more miserable every time I thought about me liking her. It was just eating me up that I couldn't tell her the truth. I needed to get out.

"Uh. Carly. Look, I'm… not feeling good. I think I'm just gonna head home, okay?" And with that, I bolted my little tush out of that place. Too bad Carly followed me.

"Hey! You left your phone." She tossed it to me, and I caught it easily. She gave me a worried look, which made me want to apologize for being such a freak but I really just needed to leave. "I can call you later, right?" I grunted a response and I was out of there.

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All drama. Next chapter will be starting from where I left off, but with Carly's POV.