More Than a Thousand Words.
By Celeste Lascala AKA Meiriona.
Genre: Romance/angst
Rating: teen
Summary: It was my innocence he held so carelessly in his hands. My purity he made a joke of.
Everyone is entitled to some things they keep secret. Respecting those things is fundamental for any relationship.
Your family, friends, they need to understand that some things are not meant for them to see.
For me, my life is in my sketches. Odd, huh? You would think that a criminal would have better things to do with her
time than draw mythical creatures. But, to me, each one expresses a feeling, a part of me. Most of them I am willing to
share, but one was private, just for me. My unicorn, the one drawing that I won't show to anyone. Why? A unicorn
represents purity, chastity, childhood. My drawing of the unicorn was an expression of my innocence, something no
one was allowed to even see, much less touch.
Then, Kid Flash comes in, tossing roses at me, and going from introspective to ridiculous in a split second. It was amusing,
in a way, that he thought soft words and a charming smile would be enough to make me throw away my life. I was going to
toy with him, but then, he goes into my room. As if it wasn't enough of an invasion of privacy, he is looking at my sketches.
Oh, but not just any sketches, no, he sees the unicorn. He makes a joke about my innocence. How dare he, handling it so carelessly?
But the fact he saw it meant something, he had seem my weakness, and I couldn't let him get away with that. I had to find him, had to
make sure he could never tell a soul about it. Instead, I found him, and let him learn more about me, more of my doubts. I don't know
why, but when he was tired, he showed me his weakness as well. And when he looked at me, I saw his innocence too. He didn't
understand what he had held, but its importance was clear to him.
I let him go, because when that -woman- came, a part of my innocence was shattered. He left me another rose, and I took it with me
as I explored the city. For the first time I looked at the entire world as if detached, like the city was a painting. I didn't sleep,
wandering aimlessly for days. I went to a park and sat on the swings, passed an art gallery without noting the value of the work,
climbed a tree to watch the stars. I don't know how it happened, but I found myself speaking aloud.
"I wish he wasn't so right. I wish I could see the choices he sees. I've had this life for so long, what chance do I have to change it?
I know I can do better, but do I want to? Why did he do that, why do heroes always do that? Come in, toy with my emotions, and
destroy my home, then, leave, as if none of it ever happened? I should have learned after that first incident, I should never trust a Titan."
"Why not, though?" The voice from below me made me jump, nearly falling off the branch I was perched on. Oh, great, now after
I give up he comes. Stupid Kid Flash, why did you let me spend all this time in the cold, not sleeping, if you were going to help me?
Why did he come now?
"I can't trust them." The soft voice came so suddenly I didn't even realize it was my own. "He, he came to the school, and pretended
to care for me. I thought, maybe, people like me could have happiness. Then, the illusion disappeared. A Titan. Why did he have to
destroy my home?" Kid Flash was looking at me as I slid down from the tree the huddle on the ground, clutching my knees
to my chest. It was that look again, the pure childlike shock and curiosity.
"A Titan did that? Who?" I shook my head; I didn't want to remember any more about that time. If I did, I'd just be betrayed again.
He must have understood that, because he didn't press it. "I want to help you. That's what heroes do, right?" He was trying to get
me to smile, I knew that. But something nagged at me. I needed one thing to make sure.
"You saw the unicorn." It was a statement, or it was meant to be, it came out like a question. He nodded, sitting down beside me,
a respectful distance between us. "You held my purity, my naivety, in your hands, and made a joke of it." There, the accusing
tone I wanted. The hurt look too, shame. He honestly had no idea what that drawing represented.
"I- I'm sorry. I just thought it was cute, that you would draw something like that…"
"The unicorn is the symbol of purity, maidenhood, chastity. In most cultures, it is said that a unicorn will only come to an untouched girl.
My unicorn was a representation that I was still a child, not yet experienced in the ways of the human mind or heart. A virgin to
true troubles. You touched something I wouldn't show anyone. I, I'm a criminal," He cut me off there, inching closer.
"You were a criminal, Jinx. Now, you are whatever you want to be."
That wasn't what I thought though. Whatever I wanted to be? Did I even know what that was? I wasn't too proud to
admit my emotions, and telling him just felt right. "I'm scared…"
"Good." Good? He wanted me to be scared? What was this? Humiliate the confused girl; break her spirit so she
won't be a threat? "Then you are thinking of trying something new. Come on, I'll show you how easy it is to be good."
He had grabbed my hand to pull me to my feet. But I'd decided what I wanted to try. It was something new as well,
just not what he was thinking.
"Please… just stay with me." So polite, I felt like that little girl working so hard to learn how to bring out her powers,
begging for things to go my way. "I need someone I can trust, promise you won't ever betray me." The tears were welling up,
but I blinked them back. Never cry, Jinx, you are not a child. You have no nurse to run to when you skin your knee;
you must patch it up and move on.
I had buried my head in my hands, not wanting him to see the weakness. He had already seen enough of it. But the next thing I knew,
his arms were around me, he was murmuring comforting words over and over. It was like a train, repeating the same cheesy lines,
as if it would make everything better, those hollow words. "Shut up." I groaned. "Shut up! I haven't cried in years, and it hurts my head.
Just, watch my back while I sleep. Then, I want to make that -woman- pay." I didn't know then whether or not I would do more than just
make sure that the person I had looked up to for so long begged for my mercy. A mercy that would never come. I had no idea if Kid Flash
was really interested in me, or just in saving lives.
But I knew that all this came from a picture, a picture worth more than a thousand words.
That is my singles awareness day work. It was far too much fun to write something that emotional. Erm, sorry? I hate vday. It's not a holiday at all, and so my work for it was more of a work on the supposed theme of this hallmark day.
Although Shreya to Jinx should get updated by the end of this week, all you spaqua writers need to egg me on for my own slash. Shreya is one I don't care if no one reads, I will keep writing anyways. The Shounen Ai, needs support to move on.