Here it is! In my vain attempts to create angst without resorting to using Ashura as a plot device (though I do love fics with Ashura) I've come up with this.
I didn't add this to my 'Dummy's guide' because it didn't seem to belong there. Also, the title is completely random and has no connection with this fic.
Implied Kuro/Fai or Kuro/Tomoyo. Whichever one floats your boat.
Paper dolls
The door was shut to the electrical light that filled the hallway, the curtains drawn to block out the stars. Darkness swamped the room.
Fai pushed the door with two fingers and it swung open.
Closing it behind him, his eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness as he scanned the gloomy room for the person that he was searching for.
He sat against the far post of his bed, staring at a spot on the ceiling. Fai glanced at the spot then back at the man.
Kurogane...
But Kurogane was not the right name to use. Fai did not want to address the ninja as Kurogane just yet, though Kuro-pipi or Kuro-muu might just set the ninja off in his already fractious state.
Drawing a deep breath, Fai approached the bed with a smile.
"Kuro-kun, it's time to eat. Sakura-chan's made dinner."
For all his efforts, he received no reply.
Fai's smile stayed frozen on his lips. Why was he even doing this? He was never an eloquent speaker when it came to giving condolences and Kurogane did not seem in the mood to converse.
Suicide, maybe. Maybe I'm just a little masochistic.
The wizard paused before deciding it safe to sit atop Kurogane's bed, just far enough from Kurogane to be able to make a quick escape lest the ninja try and take some of his anger out on him.
Around the room he could make out the darkened shapes of a cabinet and a desk with a broken chair. The sombre of colours were too depressing for Fai's liking.
"About what happened before..."
They came with fire, burning and slaughtering anyone in their way as they rode through the village of wood and stone. Fire had caught the straw roofs and, whipped up by the wind, began hungrily consuming the houses with gusto.
The group, who had simply been dumped by Mokona in the middle of all the bedlam, stood dumfounded in the midst of the chaos around them.
Syaoran was prefect hero material. It was Syaoran who had made the first move to help the hapless villagers. Though they were all unsure of the reasons why the village was being attacked, he leapt into action almost immediately, though he always kept an eye on Sakura.
Of course, Fai had leant a hand in the rescuing of villagers. He had found a pitchfork and began methodically stabbing anyone who dared attack him. The invaders were no great swordsmen but their sheer numbers more than made up for that.
He remembered that a scream had ripped through the smoky air. Fai had spun round to see Kurogane cutting down the attackers, aiming for legs and arms so that they did not die.
He saw a girl with long black hair behind Kurogane, being shielded by Kurogane's body. He did not seem to mind how often he got hurt as long as the girl was okay. It was most unlike anything Fai had ever seen.
There Fai stood, watching Kurogane use his own body as fodder whilst the arrows screamed through the air.
He should have tried to whistle and cheer Kurogane on, telling him what a softie he was becoming. Instead he just frowned and turned away, not wanting to see Kurogane fight in such a way for a complete stranger, not quite wanting to believe because...
...Because he felt jealous.
That was all Fai saw before turning back. He had his own battles to worry about and he knew that Kurogane was more than able to look after himself.
What he did not count on was how able the ninja was at looking after others. There were dozens of men. They seemed to just appear from nowhere and it was difficult handling their vast numbers
A cry of "Tomoyo-hime!" stole Fai's attention and as a result almost got him skewered on a pike. He dispatched of his attacker before glancing over to Kurogane again.
Even the ninja was having trouble with the amount of invaders in the village. Kurogane was slicing and slashing like a madman, no longer caring whether he dealt a fatal blow or not and moving his gaze to the right, Fai understood why.
The girl was slumped over the floor, bleeding badly. Fai knew at once that she was dead.
Somehow, he could not help but feel a little guilty, as if he had wished it to happen.
No, that wasn't right. He had never wanted the girl to die. He did not want anyone to die if they did not have to. And after that Kurogane was...he was...like a demon.
Everything else since then became an indistinguishable blur.
The village had burnt despite their efforts (though it should be granted that when they had arrived the fire had already consumed most of the village) and many of its inhabitants lay dead, including the farm girl Kurogane seemed to have recognised.
They were all bleeding badly, Kurogane the worst, though he did not seem to care.
It was a pure God-send that they even found an abandoned house so far from the site of destruction and taken up residence, whereupon arrival Kurogane had chosen a room and kept himself locked within it for some time.
Fai could understand that the ninja disliked loosing battles, any battle, but he sensed that the man's anger came from another source. A very different one from that he was used to.
And that he did not like.
Fai hated it when things did not go as he predicted or when people acted out of the ordinary.
In Celes, he had played the game of thrones masterfully. He never aimed for the very top. That was too dangerous, that was Ashura's spot. He had been an active player, though. People were like chess pieces and he moved them to his own advantage.
Kurogane however was like no piece he had ever seen. That was what had drawn him to the ninja in the first place.
Now, it was time to see what kind of unorthodox piece Kurogane was.
That the girl was the source of this unpredictability, the girl that Kurogane had failed to save.
"So, where you come from, she's the princess you served?" Fai knew that he was treading on thin ice.
Still, Kurogane gave him no response other than a small flinch. He was obviously remembering what had happened in the village.
You should be yelling...you should be angry.
Silence did not suit Fai well.
The world that I come from...is the place that I want to be
The world that I come from...is the place that I do not want to be
From the moment they had met at the witch's place, Fai had always been aware of how different he and the ninja were.
Kurogane was obviously attached to his home world and wanted to go back as soon as possible...to his princess. Fai, on the other hand, wanted to stay away from his home world...to stay away from his king.
"It must be nice," Fai said, more to himself than to Kurogane. He wondered what it was like to serve someone out of pure loyalty. "She really must have been something special."
Kurogane grunted an agreement. At least he was responding now. It was not like Kurogane to sulk or be depressed.
"Did you love her?"
Kurogane's head snapped around to stare incredulously at Fai. His anger flared and he reached for the nearest thing to throw at the wizard. A pillow.
"Idiot wizard, why are you asking me all these questions? Why don't you take your prying eyes somewhere else and leave me the hell alone?"
You're asking more questions than I am. Fai caught the pillow.
Kurogane clutched his head and groaned. "I can't believe that I was weak enough to let that happen. In the palace...if that was my princess..." he could not go on.
"You want to be strong, right? What for?"
Kurogane growled so Fai elaborated.
"Strong enough so that you can protect what's dear to you? Strong enough so that you won't get hurt? You must have a reason."
"Does it matter? That battle just showed me that I'm not as strong as I want to be," Kurogane muttered.
Fai had never heard him talk so bitterly before. It did not seem right.
Forget Kurogane, Fai was acting strangely himself. He would never had consoled one of the officials that had lost someone in the war, only used their grief to stir things the way he, or rather the way Ashura had wanted.
Yet, Kurogane was no court official.
What can I do? You don't want to be consoled by a fool.
"Kuro-kun, don't loose heart!" Despite his misgivings, Fai perked up his grin and acted as cheerfully as possible. "I know that my Kuro-run is the best!" Inside, he was holding his breath.
What strange pieces we are. Strange, twisted pieces that don't belong on any chessboard.
Kurogane stared at him. At first, he appeared to speak but changed his words before they were out of his mouth.
"I knew it! Just when I thought that you were actually capable of having a serious conversation, some nonsense always spews from your mouth," he sighed, running a hand through his black hair.
"It's not nonsense, it's yes-sense!" Fai giggled, earning him an exasperated sigh from Kurogane.
Gentle silence washed over them. A smile settled on Fai's lips remained there as he joined Kurogane in staring at the spot on the ceiling.
The room was not as dark as it had first appeared. As bare as it was, it seemed quite cosy.
"Still...it's okay, y'know?" Fai spoke after the silence had ebbed. His eyes refused to meet Kurogane's inquiring crimson ones, choosing to remain focused on the ceiling and the stars that would be beyond it.
"It's okay to feel weak sometimes, it's okay to trip up sometimes. What's important is that you can pick yourself up and move on afterwards. I'm sure that Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun would agree with me too."
"You sure are confident. What if I just end up not getting up again?"
"You'll get up. Don't forget that I believe that you can become truly strong," Fai tilted his head to one side, grinning. "And Fai-chan is always right!"
"Fai...chan?" Kurogane pronounced the strange new nickname Fai had given himself. His expression softened. "I don't understand it, but you...are really one-of-a-kind."
"No, wrong!" Fai made the customary 'bzzz' sound when a question was answered incorrectly. "There are lots of Fai's. There's a Fai in each world, but personally, I think that this Fai is the best."
An amused smile tugged at the corners of Kurogane's mouth. "I think so too."
"Kyaa! Kuro-tan smiled! Wait 'til I tell Mokona about this!" Fai leapt up; dashing out of the room before Kurogane could stop him.
The door flapped on its hinges where Fai had burst out of the room.
Kurogane retracted the hand that was supposed to have grabbed the slippery wizard, letting it fall to his side.
"Truly strong, huh?" he mused.
Strong...he had always wanted to be strong, but something had changed. He still wanted strength but not just to kill.
Kurogane touched the crescent moon on his forehead. Was this the message Princess Tomoyo had wanted him to see? He hoped that his princess was still doing well.
He stared at the light seeping under the door. What had changed him from simply believing that strength was how many people you could beat down? Was it him? Was it Fai who had changed him?
"Fai...chan," Kurogane played with the name. It suited the wizard more than any of the strange nicknames the blond had given him.
"Fai-chan."
If any of you have read the Song of Ice and Fire, you'd get the game of thrones bit. I like to think of Fai as one of those players. I ended up referring to Ashura but he wasn't really the source of angst so I'm still happy.
Really thought twice (actually, five times) about uploading. An angsting Kurogane seems a little strange to me. Fai is a lot more eloquent at it. Well, you know what to do now. Review!