For Myself
The soft pitter-patter of rain echoes throughout the main hall. The doors are thrown wide open to let in the cool air. There is no wind so the rain falls straight down. For some reason I have grown to like the rain, it no longer feels like I am locked inside, it only feels like I choose to be inside. Sometimes I wish I lived closer to a place were there is something to do, but I know that even if I lived in such a place I would still want to be some were else. I think I'm best described as arrogant aloof and alone. But that doesn't really describe me. You know those stories were there is a bad guy who doesn't seem that bad, or a character that's really hard to figure out. Those are the kind of Characters I like. I guess it's because they remind me of myself. I also have an odd sense of humor. I think people well, never mind my sense of humor.
You know it's funny how easy it is to fool people. They are willing to believe the oddest things. You can convince people you are just perfectly happy and they will believe anything you say. Most of the time people just assume I'm perfectly happy the way I am, but I can see they only want to believe that because they are unhappy themselves and only want to worry about themselves. I have never met a really caring person in this world; no soul could care about everyone. Or perhaps if there is he is too smart to reveal himself.
People who are too kind are weak and easily fooled. Fools, and cowards, those are the only kinds of people I see. Nobody is living, everyone is dieing, even now we are all dieing, growing is merely a faze of it. The only thing that is for sure in this life is death, but so many people can't or aren't willing to see that. They assume the oddest things with no proof or given fact and take it as reality. They live in the lies of gossip. Really I don't like gossip, even though I can be keen to start a rumor. I hate it and yet I do it all the time.
I constantly seem to contradict myself, day in day out I do things I don't want to do, but I want to, if that makes any real sense. Sometimes I feel like two different people inside, and the harsher side always wins out, my soft, weak side is too sentimental. I guess no body really knows me, no body, not a single person on this earth. I guess one might think of it as a heavy burden to bear, I don't think I've ever really been without that burden, so all I can do is bear the weight. Maybe I just like my secrets too much, hide my weakness. I think sometimes that this burden might overwhelm me and take me over, but I won't let it. I'm a stronger person than it; I'm strong, but only for myself. I guess that's why I'm writing this. I've always said that writing down your thoughts is stupid and if somebody reads it you probably be in over your head, and yet here I am recording every one of my thoughts. Funny.
I guess I'll end my writings saying, yes, I am odd, I am not what I seem and never will be. Maybe somebody will read this, and that might not be so bad. I will always be me; I will always be strong for myself.
The soft pitter-patter of rain echoes throughout the main hall. The doors are thrown wide open to let in the cool air. There is no wind so the rain falls straight down. For some reason I have grown to like the rain, it no longer feels like I am locked inside, it only feels like I choose to be inside. Sometimes I wish I lived closer to a place were there is something to do, but I know that even if I lived in such a place I would still want to be some were else. I think I'm best described as arrogant aloof and alone. But that doesn't really describe me. You know those stories were there is a bad guy who doesn't seem that bad, or a character that's really hard to figure out. Those are the kind of Characters I like. I guess it's because they remind me of myself. I also have an odd sense of humor. I think people well, never mind my sense of humor.
You know it's funny how easy it is to fool people. They are willing to believe the oddest things. You can convince people you are just perfectly happy and they will believe anything you say. Most of the time people just assume I'm perfectly happy the way I am, but I can see they only want to believe that because they are unhappy themselves and only want to worry about themselves. I have never met a really caring person in this world; no soul could care about everyone. Or perhaps if there is he is too smart to reveal himself.
People who are too kind are weak and easily fooled. Fools, and cowards, those are the only kinds of people I see. Nobody is living, everyone is dieing, even now we are all dieing, growing is merely a faze of it. The only thing that is for sure in this life is death, but so many people can't or aren't willing to see that. They assume the oddest things with no proof or given fact and take it as reality. They live in the lies of gossip. Really I don't like gossip, even though I can be keen to start a rumor. I hate it and yet I do it all the time.
I constantly seem to contradict myself, day in day out I do things I don't want to do, but I want to, if that makes any real sense. Sometimes I feel like two different people inside, and the harsher side always wins out, my soft, weak side is too sentimental. I guess no body really knows me, no body, not a single person on this earth. I guess one might think of it as a heavy burden to bear, I don't think I've ever really been without that burden, so all I can do is bear the weight. Maybe I just like my secrets too much, hide my weakness. I think sometimes that this burden might overwhelm me and take me over, but I won't let it. I'm a stronger person than it; I'm strong, but only for myself. I guess that's why I'm writing this. I've always said that writing down your thoughts is stupid and if somebody reads it you probably be in over your head, and yet here I am recording every one of my thoughts. Funny.
I guess I'll end my writings saying, yes, I am odd, I am not what I seem and never will be. Maybe somebody will read this, and that might not be so bad. I will always be me; I will always be strong for myself.