This disclaimer telling you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters is recommended for a healthy diet. Just another crazy Misfit vs. X-Men fic that rambled on in my tiny brain.
The Battle for Breakfast
"Ah breakfast," Hank sighed as he sipped his coffee and nibbled on a croissant on the back patio of the mansion. "The most important meal of the day. A time where one not only refuels one's body for the strenuous day ahead, but of quiet reflection."
A huge explosion shook the building. "Unless of course you live at the Xavier Institute for the Gifted," He sighed.
"AAAAHHHHH!" Sam shot out of the back window and crashed on the lawn. Fortunately his powers prevented him from any serious damage.
"Well I see once again we have guests for breakfast," Hank sighed as he put his coffee cup down. "Unless Sam there's another reason you are wearing an omelet for a hat this morning?"
Sam brushed off pieces of an omelet on his head and shirt. "Hey Mr. McCoy. Yeah they're back again! What are you doing hiding out here?"
"I've decided to partake of my morning meal out here," Hank told him. "It was the best way I could figure out to actually get a bite to eat around here."
"I can't believe those Misfits!" Sam grumbled. "They wouldn't dare do this if Mr. Logan was here!"
"I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on that point Sam," Hank sighed as more things shattered inside the mansion. "He left on one of his road trips the second day they started to show up. And with Charles off on another conference trip in Washington D.C. for the next few weeks, it looks like there's very little we can do to stop them."
There was a rumbling sound. "ALVERS!" Scott could be heard screaming.
"At least Charles claimed it was a conference trip," Hank groaned. He winced as he heard more explosions from the inside.
"This time it's even more nuts than usual," Sam groaned. "I tell you I thought I'd seen all the food fights but this is the mother of them all."
"So I see," Hank looked through the kitchen window where he could see all the insanity. There was a huge food fight going on. Tabitha used a time bomb to blow up some oatmeal, which spattered everywhere. Shipwreck was chasing Ororo around. The Triplets were chasing Jamie around. Jean and Althea were dueling with wooden spoons. Fred was gulping down food with one hand and throwing it with expert ease with the other. Pietro was speeding around eating everything in sight. All the other Misfits and X-Men were flinging food at each other.
"Hey I love this stuff, whatever it is!" Todd slurped some food down using his tongue.
"There's pineapple juice in my hair!" Jean squealed.
"Can I stay out here with you?" Sam asked.
"Aw come on Babe!" They could hear Shipwreck whining. "Why won't you go to Bermuda with me?"
"Hank get in there and help me now!" Ororo marched out of the back door and glared at him.
"I will momentarily assist you as soon as I have finished my coffee," Hank went and sipped his cup.
Ororo grew very angry. So angry that storm clouds began to form. Soon it was pouring rain all over Hank. He blinked as he sat there in his chair. The sound of thunder in the sky caused him to twitch.
"I'm done now," Hank put his coffee on the table and walked inside.
A few hours later the Misfits had gone home and the X-Men were cleaning up what was left of the kitchen. "You know something?" Bobby asked as he mopped a section of the floor. "We don't need Danger Room practice in the morning. The Misfits give us enough of a workout!"
"Not to mention all the time we spend cleaning up after them!" Kurt grumbled as he cleaned some oatmeal off the ceiling.
"Why doesn't General Hawk stop them? Or Roadblock for crying out loud?" Scott asked.
"I think it's because they will do anything to get rid of the kids for a few hours, not to mention Shipwreck," Hank sighed. "And I can't say I blame them."
"You know all those years I was stuck in the Middleverse?" Forge sighed as he swept up some broken glass. "I'm starting to miss it. It was so nice and peaceful."
"I don't suppose it has occurred to any of you to get in the first strike by simply inviting them to breakfast?" Hank asked. "That seems to be the civilized thing to do."
"Hank does have a point," Ororo said. "Since they are going to show up anyway. Who knows? Maybe we can finally start getting along with the Misfits. Well…most of them."
"Yeah right!" Kurt rolled his eyes.
"Fat chance!" Rogue snapped.
"We should have at least made them help clean up!" Kitty fumed.
"Are you nuts?" Rogue snapped. "The last time we did that, the place ended up looking worse than the mess we made!"
"Yeah besides," Remy grumbled. "You know they just want any excuse to hang around here and drive us crazy some more!"
"Not to mention trying to find out any information on other mutants so they can get new recruits," Jean nodded.
"I can't take it anymore!" Scott snapped. "Every day for the past week those lunatic Misfits have barged in while we're eating breakfast! Well no more! That's it! We're drawing a line in the sand! This stops right now!"
"YEAH!" All the X-Men kids cheered.
"This is not going to end up well is it?" Hank moaned.
"I am beginning to suspect that Charles is deliberately screening his calls so he won't talk to us," Ororo grumbled.
"DOWN WITH THE MISFITS!" Scott was standing up on the table shouting.
"DOWN WITH THE MISFITS!" The X-Men cheered.
"Remind me to fry Logan for leaving us alone here when he gets back," Ororo moaned as the two adults left the room.
"Gotcha," Hank nodded. "Right after I slash the tires on his motorcycle."
"So how are we gonna stop them?" Bobby asked. "I mean we can't exactly lock them out thanks to their teleportation thingy."
"It's called the Mass Device genius," Jamie rolled his eyes.
"That is a problem," Remy nodded.
"Wait a minute," Kurt said. "Forge can you whip up a device that prevents teleportation?"
"Oh you mean something to counter the Mass Device so they can't teleport in?" Forge asked. "You know, I think I can do that!"
"All right!" Scott rubbed his hands together. "X-Men it's time to prepare for tomorrow's battle!"
************************************************************************
"All right troops!" Scott called out. "This is it! Be prepared for anything!" He was dressed in full uniform as well as the rest of the X-Men. "Forge is the device ready?"
"Ready as she'll ever be Cyclops," Forge nodded. "I just switched it on a few minutes ago. Hopefully this will work. I haven't tested it yet."
"Well we're about to find out," Scott said. "Okay be ready for anything. There's still a chance they might get inside!"
Ten minutes later the Misfits materialized on the X-Mansion's front lawn. "We're ba-ack!" Fred called out gleefully.
"Hey what gives yo?" Todd scratched his head. "What are we doin' out on the lawn?"
"I thought you guys were supposed to transport us inside the mansion?" Shipwreck asked.
"We did," Daria was fiddling with the controls on her watch. "Something deflected our beam."
"That's right!" Scott spoke to them through a megaphone as he stuck his head out the window. "We've had it with you Misfits mooching all our food! Well no more! Forge made a device that keeps you lunatics out!"
"Now that is just plain rude," Pietro sniffed.
"RUDE?" Scott snapped. "You've haven't seen rude yet!" Suddenly the front yard lasers popped up.
"Guys," Lance gulped. "This does not look good."
The lasers started to fire. "SCATTER!" Althea shouted as they raced into the nearby woods for cover. Soon they all managed to make it to the brush. "Everybody okay?"
"I'm a little singed," Fred coughed. "But otherwise I'm fine!"
"Daddy," Quinn said. "I think we may have pushed the X-Men a little too far."
"Yeah why don't we just go home?" Brittany asked.
"Are you nuts?" Lance snapped. "And let those twerps beat us without a fight?"
"Lance is right!" Wanda agreed. "We can't let them get away with this!"
"Yeah how awful of them to think they can't share their own food with us," Daria commented.
"This ain't over by a longshot!" Shipwreck snapped. "We hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast!"
"Right!" Althea nodded. "Avalanche, Scarlet Witch! You two take out the lasers! Quicksilver! You up for a morning run?"
"Already ahead of you!" Pietro nodded as he ran inside easily dodging the lasers.
Meanwhile inside the institute the X-Men were celebrating. "Victory!" Scott whooped.
"All right!" Kurt crowed. "Without their teleportation machine they can't get in!"
"Who needs teleportation?" Pietro cackled as he whizzed by them, dumping a bowl of cereal on Scott's head.
"QUICKSILVER!" Scott snapped.
"Did anybody remember to lock the door?" Jean groaned.
"Apparently not," Rogue grumbled.
"Hey Jean have some grapefruit!" Pietro shoved a grapefruit half in her face.
"That's it!" Jean snapped as she telekinetically lifted him off the floor.
"Hey no fair!" Pietro snapped.
"Fair?" Jean snapped. "You steal our food and make our home a mess and you're complaining about fair? I'll show you fair!" She threw him out the window. "And stay out!"
"Honey we're home!" Fred bellowed as the Misfits burst through the door. Pietro followed a second later.
"How did you…?" Scott's jaw dropped.
"Thanks to Avalanche and the Scarlet Witch we took care of those pesky lasers," Althea snickered. "Not to mention a few of my dad's trusty grenades. Hey Pop where are you?"
"Right here," He wobbled in.
"Thanks for catching me when I fell," Pietro quipped.
"CAN'T YOU BOZOS TAKE A HINT?" Rogue shouted. "GO AWAY!"
"NO!" Fred shouted. "WE'RE HUNGRY!"
"THEN GO EAT SOMEWHERE ELSE!" Peter shouted.
"MAKE US!" Lance shouted.
"WITH PLEASURE!" Scott snapped.
"FOR BREAKFAST!" Shipwreck shouted. "CHARGE!"
"X-MEN! DEFEND OUR BREAKFAST WITH YOUR LIVES!" Scott shouted as they clashed.
"I WANT FOOD!" Fred grabbed a chair and started spinning it around.
"WELL YOU AIN'T GONNA GET ANY OF OURS!" Rogue snapped as she punched him with her super strength.
"Okay this has gotten way out of hand," Hank sighed as he and Ororo watched the melee in the foyer. They were the only two X-Men not fighting. "I know breakfast is supposed to be the most important meal of the day but this is ridiculous!"
"I can't take this anymore," Ororo groaned.
"Neither can I," Hank had a strange gleam in his eyes. "Follow me."
Meanwhile the two teams were trashing the room. "Hey!" Fred snapped as he dodged a red laser. "Watch it with the lasers One Eye!"
"That wasn't me," Scott blinked. Then he noticed the laser cannons popping out of the hallway. "Ha! Now you Misfits are in for it!"
"Uh Scott…" Jean gulped as she pointed out that one of the cannons was directly aimed at them. "I don't think it's just them."
"Take cover!" Rogue shouted as the lasers started firing on both teams.
"Run for it!" Pietro screamed. Soon all of them were outside. "Jeez Summers don't you think you guys were overdoing it with the lasers?"
"Look!" Bobby pointed as the mansion started to fortify itself with metal shutters covering the windows.
"What's going on?" Xi asked.
"I've seen this before!" Tabitha yelled. "The mansion's going into lockdown!"
"Can you blast your way in?" Shipwreck asked Scott.
"No those panels are reinforced with adamantium," Scott shook his head.
"You mean we're all locked out?" Rogue asked.
"No problem," Kitty said. "I'll just phase in." However she couldn't do it. "What the…?"
"Oh yeah," Forge nodded. "My anti-teleportation device must still be on. I guess it does prevent someone phasing in as well. I wasn't sure about that. Well now we know."
"And knowing is half the battle," Fred spoke.
"Don't tell me the mansion's gonna blow up again?" Sam gulped.
"I don't think so," Scott pushed the buttons on the front door. "I think maybe Storm and Beast are still inside! Maybe they can help?"
Hank's voice came over the intercom. "You have reached the Xavier Institute. Sorry, no one is here to take your call. Leave your name and message at the beep. Beep."
"Very funny Hank," Ororo's voice could be heard as well.
"Storm, Beast! Somehow the mansion went into lockdown!" Scott said. "We can't get in!"
"We know," Ororo's voice was on the intercom. "Mr. McCoy and I set it off so we can get some peace and quiet around here! NOW WHY DON'T ALL OF YOU GO AWAY FOR A FEW HOURS AND LET US HAVE BREAKFAST FOR A CHANGE!"
"Yes you can all come back when you learn to behave like human beings!" Hank snapped.
"I don't think they're gonna let us in for a while," Todd remarked.
"Great, now what do we do about breakfast?" Amara asked.
"McDonalds?" Althea suggested.
"Yeah works for me," Tabitha shrugged as they all went off to eat.
"How are we gonna pay for it?" Kitty asked.
"No problem," Shipwreck grinned. "I swiped Beach Head's credit card this morning."
"I can't stand it," Scott groaned. "I just can't stand it!"