Gilbert glanced up to a dimly lit window. He sighed, looking at the shadows in the window and wondering what could be going through his head. Not a regretful or pity sight, no, more of one to display calmness, yet at the same time he felt empty. He stopped walking at the door and looked back to the window, becoming confused when he saw the light fade darker until it was nonexistent. "It's dark but he doesn't go to bed this early..." he murmured before pushing the door open and letting himself inside.
Closing the door and locking it behind him, he took a look of surprise when he saw how unkept Roderich's apartment was. The TV was left on and creating a soft buzz as distorted white and black lines moved across the screen. There were some dishes left on the furniture, random pieces of trash here and there, and his nose wrinkled when he picked up something that had probably gone bad. Basically, untidy.
He walked in and danced over a couple of things strewn across the floor, making it to the hall as he listened for signs of life. The floor squeaking as he approached his bedroom door, he stopped and leaned in to look through the crack in the door.
The room was pitch black except for a small light from a candle on the desk. There was a dark silhouette lying on the bed, and a curled piece of hair sticking up from the head made the figure perfectly identifiable. He was on his stomach with his face buried in a pillow, shifting slightly when he heard the door creak open. "Roderich, how've you been?"
He stayed silent and rolled over to his side to face the wall that was opposite from the door. Gilbert wordlessly shut the door, walked to the bed and laid beside him, pulling an arm over his side and holding him close. Roderich hesitantly moved his hand and gently squeezed the Prussian's hand, knowing that he was really there somehow making a small amount of comfort blossom within him. Both waited in silence, Roderich craving the warmth and presence of the other while Gilbert stayed still, afraid of making a wrong movement and scaring the Austrian away.
"She could've told me" Roderich choked out through a whisper, sniffling a bit afterwards. The words took Gilbert by surprise. The last time he visited, he hadn't heard him speak one word. The time before that, he was crying too hard and none of it was understandable. Gilbert had heard about the situation from his brother, but he didn't understand why he was so badly shaken from a single breakup. Eliza was cheating on him, but everyone who knew about it just expected him to move on. It had already been a month, a little over. This guy went in and out of political marriages with ease and skill, why was this relationship different?
"We dated for six months... but she had been seeing him for four," he said softly, Gilbert tracing small circles on his palm with his thumb. "If she told me as soon as it started, I would've been fine with it," he said, Gilbert telling from his voice that he had started crying again. "I kept her unhappy for that long. I forced her to share something with me that she didn't want!" he suddenly yelled, Gilbert tightening his arms around him to try and stop him from shaking.
He continued to cry and Gilbert's heart was torn open more from every second of it. "Gil..."
That one nickname, small yet too powerful to measure, choked out by a weak nation with a hoarse and pained voice. He turned his head a little to face him, violet and puffed eyes filled to the brim with desperation and tears still spilling down his cheeks. "Help me again... Make me forget, even for just a little while, please..." He was sobbing again, his hands tightly gripping his shirt and his head pressed to his chest. Gilbert knew exactly what he meant. Of course he felt guilty for it, but he wasn't in much of a position to refuse any of the brunet's demands right now. They had to get him back to normal, if he asked for the moon then someone would have to find a way to give it to him.
They don't talk about what they're doing, nor do they ever talk while they do it. Both didn't want or need to, it just made things easier. Gilbert gently laid him down and started to remove the little clothing he had on, it was really only a white, oversized dress shirt. Roderich looped his arms around the platinum blond's shoulders as he had started kissing his neck, hands blindly pulling each button on his shirt apart. He had started panting heavily as one of the Prussian's hands pinched one of his nipples, the other slowly pumping his cock. A soft mewl slipped from his lips as he started rolling his hips back into his hand.
Gilbert didn't dare move away from him, he knew he needed the contact by how tightly he hugged him close. He leaned upwards and the brunet's head tilted towards his for a kiss. Gilbert thought to himself how different his lips were to his own, Gilbert's being chapped while the other's were soft. His bottom lip was slightly swollen, Gilbert remembered he had a bad habit of biting it when he was anxious. He chuckled internally at the memories that came from it, perhaps a minor inconvenience had taken place. One time both sat on the sofa after a long morning, waiting for Ludwig to return back home after a stressful conference with one of his infamous bosses. Gilbert would remember turning towards him, seeing his lip caught in between his teeth while his brow was still twisted with concern.
"Little master, haven't I told you that you shouldn't do that," he said with a wary smile, slowly leaning towards him with a soft kiss. Roderich was calmed down instantly, he was always like his drug. "You'll hurt yourself, Roderich."
He tried to tell himself he wasn't an addict, he had questioned it every moment the Prussian would pop into his brain. Even whenever he was with Elizabeta. Whenever he was distressed. Moments like this, and Gilbert would be able to distract him. Then he would only need him more. He was addicted to his touch, his voice, the very sight of him. What ever was wrong, Gilbert always seemed to care. If he called, he would come. Both needed each other no matter how hard they tried to distance themselves. Even when Roderich is married, either of them are in relationships, it didn't matter. They had a bond that couldn't be rivaled, yet both felt uneasy being grouped together as even friends. Acquaintances, that felt natural.
Gilbert cautiously drew away from him, ending the kiss with a light nip to his lip. He moved a hand to his cheek, leaving a small caress before leaning to the bed side table and pulling open the top drawer. He didn't have to look for long, finding a bottle of lube and sighing when he saw it had been left open. He knew what it had been used for, too.
After he had added some of it to his fingers he clicked the cap shut and tossed it on the bed somewhere. He shifted himself so that he was in between his legs, merely rubbing circles on the sensitive flesh around his entrance. That still made his breathing speed up, anticipation from it all was driving him mad.
Gilbert slid a single slicked finger inside with little to no resistance, adding a second and sensually rubbing every bit of his walls that he could touch, scissoring his fingers some before taking them away.
He had positioned himself in place, slowly pushing inside of him to drag a groan from the man under him. He felt his eyes slide back a little, his mind going blank just as he had requested.