Hey, Kage fandom! Quick heads up: I'm a pretty big KidoKano shipper but I love Seto to pieces so this is going be sort of an ot3-ish piece. Very platonic for all who were worried, but there will be some more romantic happening I suppose.

Nothing like that you little boogers, s'not very lady like

Disclaimer: Don't own Kagerou project or the song "To Be Loved" (Originally sung by Jackie Wilson).

Someone to care.
Someone to share.
Those lonely hours,
and moments of despair.
"To Be Loved" -Covered by Michael Bublé

Squish. Was the sound the mop made against the cheap floors in the new kitchen. Tsubomi can barely hear it over the steady beat of music coming out of the iPod buds in her ears.

Wait, it's Kido now. Not Tsubomi. A flicker of white and the lights dim as a clap of thunder groaned loudly in the dimming sky. Not anymore. She shoved the mop head down forcefully to drive up a stubborn piece of black who-knew-what off the pale linoleum.

The storm was getting worse, she hoped Kou- Seto wasn't trying to be brave and make it home in this weather. He'd claimed at one point that the flower shop owner was nice, maybe he'd be willing to let an employee spend a night.

Another loud crackle has her fishing for the higher volume. She doubts he'll be allowed to sleep there, it didn't matter how kind you were, you don't let a brand new member of your staff sleep in your store. She wouldn't allow it anyway.

Not that that had anything to do with Seto's character, he was probably the most upright, trustworthy person in their group, even thought that isn't hard to beat since it was between her and Kano these days.

A memory surfaced of a red scarf, a smile untainted by the despair brimming in her eyes, and a pair of arms drawing her close.

The mop's shaft groans under the pressure of her palms and she swiftly sends it into her bucket, sloshing the grey-brown water. She'll have to be done for today she decides as she scoops up the mess and headed for the sink. All of the cleaning she's done is making her body and mind weary, conditions that made it difficult to keep down memories that threatened to send her to the floor; a hurricane of emotions.

And as far as she can tell they're already having an over abundance of storms.

Reminiscing is a luxury none of them can afford anymore. This new apartment was home, messy and disgusting as it was (that could be fixed though), and they have to make it on their own now.

It was a lot to take on after spending a few years with it being taken care of for them. They need money for groceries, housewares, there was rent to pay, bills, plus bus fare so Seto can get to work and none of them have to walk miles and miles to get anywhere.

They had money from home but after a unanimous vote it had been hidden and reserved for emergency cases only. Should it ever run out, it would be the homeless shelter again, but the danger there was the periodic inspections for runaways. They'd been fortunate to sidestep discovery for a while, but the day one of the volunteers had been excessively eyeing Kano was the same day they had to leave.

It hadn't been the wisest decision to tell Kano this, for a straight week afterward he had jibed at any chance possible about why his sweet Tsubomi had even noticed this.

"Perhaps our Commander was green for another reason." Somewhere out there was a cat tail flicking mischievously as he teased a piece of her hair between
his thumb and index finger.

He had had that rolled up newspaper to the throat coming.

The floor tainted water swirls down the drain with a gurgle as she wrings out what's left in the mop, giving a hiss when the shoulder she bruised against a cabinet door yesterday reacted angrily to the action. Jealousy was the farthest from what she had been thinking that day. She's seen the missing adds floating around and few as they were it was still a sign that Kenjirou was searching for them. Kenjirou or whatever else.

The bucket and mop go back inside the pantry and she tugs out her earphones, opting to listen to the storm while she finished; retrieving the bottle of bleach from beneath the sink that was in line for a disinfecting.

The cleaner itself was a present from the friendly lady down the hall, the only resident here who had welcomed them. She had acted perky at the new renters arrival, motherly instinct coming into play when she questioned them about where their parents were.

Kano would have to come up with a better excuse than they worked a lot, this woman struck her as the overly curious type. Yet when she had gone over and asked to borrow cleaning supplies, still mad that Kano had lost her list and then forgotten almost everything on it, the woman, Kyoko, had complied without question telling her to just go ahead and keep it.

She put the bottle back under the sink cabinet, which she'd finish scrubbing out today too, unhappily noting it was getting lighter with every use. She'll have to buy more up soon. Living here for barely three weeks and she's just now getting around to cleaning it up. She would have preferred if it had been done sooner but jobs and job hunting had taken up a lot of all their time.

A smaller apartment would have been better, this one had more rooms than they had furniture and the nearest bus stop was at least seven blocks away. But the landlord hadn't turned them over to the police and even leased it to them below the list price. She wonders if it was out of pity.

Even with rent being more manageable, Seto still works as often as he can, where as she and Kano take what they can find, whenever they can find it. From something as straight forward as dog walking to a restaurant that needed extra servers for the holidays.

That restaurant was one of the few times she had worked with Kano, it had been more calming than she would have thought to have a familiar face there. That night when they had walked home comparing tips was one of the more peaceful times they'd spent together. He had gloated about making over a hundred
and fifty dollars from those in the holiday spirit. She'd whacked his shoulder harder than usual because she had gotten forty-five bucks and some sleazes phone number.

This week had been a good week for cleaning though, she's had a tougher time on the job front then the boys had. To her credit Seto had had his job for a
while and Kano could charm the birds from the trees. When he wanted to.

She wanders out of the kitchen and, after several seconds debating with herself on the chances of being seen and possibly mocked, plunges face first into the backrest of the sole piece of furniture in their living room. A fluffy green armchair she had found on a front porch of a house down the block with a 'free!' sign taped onto it.

It was missing fabric in spots but the stains were minimal so she had carried it back to the new flat. It wasn't as if they could go back to the Tateyama's and bring what they needed. Thankfully their bed situation had been taken care of since the beginning; the last tenant had left a queen-sized behind so they had somewhere to sleep. It had been a good grab even if for a while the chair had stunk up the entire room, it was better than the floor.

The small smile she wears goes unnoticed by everything save for the nubby upholstery. She kept thinking about the unspoken challenge they had that at the end of the day about who could get the chair for the evening. She was the current champion and had been for nearly a week despite Seto's (who made a surprisingly vicious seat thief) attempts and Kano's whining.

Her smile faded, she really wished they would come home, she could use more noise to fill up these dark rooms, without them it felt big and barren. She revolves around to the room and begins to tune in to the harsh little clips of rain bashing on the window. The sounds outside say she is going to be having a lonely evening.

Kano should be home, it didn't take a very bright person to know when it was a good time to get a job and eight-thirty at night wasn't one. He's avoiding her and it's probably because of her constant interrogations whenever he's around.

He evaded her then too, answers vague and nonspecific, he could be anywhere, doing anything and there wasn't much she could do about it. Except lock him in a room. She had only been kidding (sort of) but Seto had told her no anyway.

Another noise joined the rain, the steady ringing of a timer and she gives out a small moan, already too comfortable to get up and check on the stew she'd left on the stove. Before she can set her feet on the ground there's a loud slam of a door and a green figure races past her seat. She's too stunned to scream at the trespasser running into the kitchen, instead vanishing at the same moment she realizes it's only Seto.

"I got it!" He must have it for it goes quiet again, minus her pounding pulse and the constant beat of the storm. She's up and with a few brisk strides to the kitchen doorway she can view the dark haired boy sniffing at a spoon full of her concoction. Her pride balloons for only a second at the pleasant expression he makes, until she notices he's dripping wet.

Her floors!

He straightens and glances throughout the room, she has trouble remembering when that skinny little animal lover had shot past her in height, "Kido?"
She basks momentarily in the perfect chance to get even and scare the life out of him. Her vengefulness loses its power, however, at the hint of concern in his eyes when he continues to get no answer.

"Kido?" She move out of the way as he travels back into the living room, calling louder while she tries to invent a way to suddenly reappear and not spook him. The squeak he lets out at a loud thunderclap and the hint of satisfaction she feels told her she might be a tiny bit vindictive still.

"I'm here Seto," she says in her calmest voice. A blink and she's visible again just as Seto whirls toward the sound.

He brightens and lays a hand over his chest, covering his heart. "Kido! There you are." his brow wrinkles, "Why were you hiding?"

She shakes her head, "Not important, let's get you dry." She catches a wrist and tows him towards the bathroom. She's hoping Kano hadn't neglected the load of towels she'd sent him downstairs to do this morning.

A basket of dirty towels that hadn't moved greets them and Kano is immediately grounded. She lets out a growl, "Kano."

Seto squirms. "He probably forgot about them." He wriggled himself loose from her tightening grip. "I can do them later."

She yanks a descent towel out and tosses it at his face. "That was his chore and I told him to do it this morning." A direct hit and after a moment Seto gives a smothered sigh, tugging it off.

A clipped 'take off your clothes' kills his next reply, causing him to redden and sputter instead. "What? I can't take my clothes off in front of you!"

She rolled her eyes, trying hard not to catch his contagious embarrassment. "Not all of it. Just take off the top part."

He looks less mortified at this prospect and obliged her. "Y'know Kano's trying-" the top of his hoodie slips over his mouth. "-to help."

She scowls at him while her hands find the cotton cloth, remove the golden clip from his bangs, and started rubbing his head. "He's not doing it right," she
adds dryly. More squirming and he moves from under her touch to give her a pained look.

"Kido," the smile he gives doesn't reach his eyes all the way, she notices the bags under them. "I think I can take care of myself."

Her scowl became even deeper. "So can Kano." She began tugging on the sleeves of his jumpsuit until he went ahead and took them off himself. She wouldn't call this a new disagreement, if anything they always disagreed about Kano. As far as she knows Kano hadn't told either of them where he went or even why and yet Seto still stood by him. She is right, but her body feels heavy and achey under Seto's torn gaze.

The towel is draped across his vision, he had been standing there blushing like a fool while holding up the pants portion of his suit, and a shocked yelp erupts from underneath it. "Finish drying off, I have to check on dinner." He must have shaken himself free for a sound behind her says he's going to respond. He can't when the door's shut in his face.

As she walks, she fishes out behind her head and tugs on her hoodie sharply. She is mad, or at least not in a good mood and the weather outside fittingly reflected her. She knows why he was defending Kano, he hated conflict especially between family. Every time that idiot did something infuriating Seto did what he could to defuse the oncoming battle before it turned into a bloody savage war that could end up lasting for weeks.

When she arrives the stew pot is barely bubbling, like she'd left it. His efforts went in vain now days, Kano was never home anymore for her to argue with.
Not that they should be called fights, per say, so much as her yelling and Kano making sly remarks. Most of his real retaliation was carried out by abandoning his chores and coming home at deplorable times of night.

She may not have liked it but the nighttime strolls had been allowed to serve as a way of coping for the last few months. She regrets allowing it now. Every night he'd come back later and later till finally she grew too tired of waking up to berate him and he started using a window instead of the door. She knows something's up, whether or not she should even be worried was the question. If Kano would only be honest with them instead of spouting off 'oh is it really that late?' or 'you don't need to worry about me.'

Who was he trying to fool, she'll always worry. She mixes the spoon in the meat broth, cupping some of it and bringing it to her nose. She loved Seto but he's a little too kind (in more ways than this one) if he thought this smell was enjoyable.

The squeal of a pair of sneakers enters the kitchen and her head snaps away from the pot. "Take off your shoes I just mopped in here!" The squeaking halts and she hears him shuffling behind her to peel them off. Her tone could have been nicer but she's still in a mood.

"Kido," He's treating her name like you would handle a glass vase shattered on the floor; her hands dig into the utensil she's holding. "Get out the bowls," she orders. The same bowls that Kano had somehow magically conjured into existence one day. He had sworn he hadn't stolen them and she had not believed him.

There hadn't been much Seto could do to calm her that day.

The boy came beside her, now wearing a worn grey sweatshirt and a pair of pants just too small for him. He was lucky he even had clothing to wear after having been so trusting at the first shelter. By the time he had found his suitcase again, it had been throughly raided, nothing having been ignored. It had taken one tough brawl against some hostile meathead to get his hoodie back. She didn't care, the idiot could have everything else but that was important.

She hadn't been surprised to wake up the next day and find she could barely walk but after word had gotten out about the scuffle, most of Seto's things had been hastily returned.

Seto was still watching her unhappily, trying to catch her eye, and she avoids his probing glances by staring at their food. Eventually, and with a resigning sigh, he goes and gets the bowls out like she'd asked.

Once dinner's poured and he's thanked her for the meal, she watches as his bare feet slowly pad out of view. She tells herself that she doesn't care that she doesn't blame him; they've had this "argument" so many times already she isn't surprised he's given in.

She hated this, the distance they've put between themselves since they've run. Kano can disappear better than she can, Seto worked too much, and all she did was sit at home like a bothersome wife who cleaned house, fretted, and scolded on occasion.

She's trying to be the responsible one but it only seemed to drive Kano out the door and Seto up a wall and that's the opposite of what they needed currently.
It was hard, of course she doesn't want to be stressed or to argue all the time, she wants everyone to be safe, to keep them safe. A life without them was a thought that she tries not to ponder, but this was the same world that's taken those she's loved the most leaving her reeling for a sturdier hold with each new attack of grief.

They were all she had left to cling to.

The bowl Seto's set aside for her is small and it feels overly delicate beneath such rough hands. She wants to tell them she's sorry, so sorry about being this way, but she's afraid. She's trying to be supportive and helpful but she's scared of screwing up and loosing what remained.

"Kido?" Seto's calls out from behind her sounding uneasy, there were very few ways she can answer him and not make that worse. Ayano would have been so much better at this. This was not the hero she had sworn to become, this was the same weak and pathetic child she's always been.

Larger hands cover her shaking ones, guiding her bowl back to the counter till she's released it then pulling her backwards into his chest. Seto's fingers gently guide her hood down to slide across her flimsy hair soothingly; a forearm tightened across her torso.

"Kido." Such a gentle whisper of her name is causing her eyes to water dangerously. She doesn't want him to help her, he shouldn't have to, she was supposed to be able to take care of everyone like she had.

A nose presses against the back of her neck and she's not sure how the action causes her to release a long, albeit shaky, breath. "What's wrong?" A noise exits her mouth, an attempt at scoffing maybe, but it's choked off, full of unshed tears. Where did she begin?

Her eyes turn to the ceiling, she can't trust herself to keep the water there from overflowing.

"I'm so sorry," Is all she can manage without spilling anything to the floor. His free arm stops stroking her head and joined the other at her waist. From the silence he must be mulling over what she could mean. He eventually replies, "This isn't about the towels, is it?"

Laughter retreated from her throat, but this time she's actually slightly amused; for a boy who could read a persons mind he could be rather dense. Seto held her closer, probably more concerned now.

"No, it isn't Seto." She relaxed into their cumbersome embrace and for a few selfish second she is happy about being worried over and comforted, she's needed it more than she'll admit. At the same time an inky guilt settled into her system that tells her she hasn't done anything to earn this.

She had been so ready for her poisonous thoughts to tumble out and away, but on the first words she balks. She can't burden him, that won't strengthen her and it won't change anything. Her fears were just who they were meant for, her. Not Seto.

"Tell me what's wrong," A low voice requests, cutting through her thoughts.

She swallowed violently. "Never mind, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm just-" No, that was not a good trail to start down. "We should eat, the foods getting cold and I'm sure you don't-" The figure behind her had become steadily stiffer as she's gone on till it finally stopped her with a harsh squeeze around her middle; cutting her off then quickly releasing her.

She twists to face him, jarring his already half-open arms with the motion, and gives him an uncertain raise of her eyebrows. Even if she can already guess that he's caught on to her deceit. He did a much better job of showing what he felt, his face contorted into disapproval. The hands on his hips are tight while his eyes slant in accusingly down at her. Such a rare reaction from Seto is almost enough to make her drop every negative word from her mouth. Almost.

"What?" She not-quite-snarls. There was no need for faking cluelessness, it was a waste of time.

"Tell me the truth Kido." His voice is strained with aggravation and she feels the pang of guilt in her chest increase twofold. He wants to help her, she wishes she could just let him, but dammit she's supposed to be stronger than this. She can't constantly throw her problems on others, she has to handle them.

She jolts at the foreign warmth on her cheek, shoving the hand placed there away. Seto's arm withdrew slightly, his eyes full of frustration. She knew the sentiment, she's very well aquatinted with it, it was just surprising to see him experiencing it.

Seto's chin lowers to his chest and he gives out a lingering breath that almost causes her heart to collapses. That's the same thing he would do when they were young and if she made him cry there was no way she could recover from this day.

His head moves up again and (to her relief) there are no streaks on his face, no trembling lips, and no eyes shimmering with tears. "Kido," No anger in his tone.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." The only thing she might nave expected to hear at this point was pleading but instead it's acceptance. "I don't want you to close yourself up, I want to know what it is that's making you upset." Resignation.

She frowns and she can feel herself getting desperate for this conversations ending, "Seto, you have a full-time job. You have better things to do than deal with me being an emotional moron." She reigned in the urge to mockingly roll her eyes. "Hell, I've got better things to do."

His gaze gained an intensity that causes her to unintentionally straighten. "You're not a moron, Kido." Brown eyes stay steadily on hers. "I don't want you to think that there's some sort of strength in keeping everything to yourself," He says this unhurriedly but the suppressed passion there is almost screaming at her.

"I know you think it's better to hold it in but that's only going to hurt even more." His fingertips graze the top of her tightly shut hands. "I don't want you to ever be hurting, I want you to be happy." It could be his fingertips, she can't see much anything else but blurs right now.

They had for sure been his fingertips because now his hands have boldly covered her clenched fists. "Why would you try and hide how you feel from me?"

"Seto, I'm-" She hadn't meant to trail off but her voice had failed on it's own.

"You can say what you want, Kido." His palm strays across her cheek to wipe away the wetness there. "I'm here for you whenever you need me. Kano too if you want."

She stares at the black scuffs on her shoes as more tears begin to trickle and fall on the worse for wear sneakers. "Hey," his voice has gone especially soft and his fingers cup her jaw cautiously. "Hey, it's okay." She dares to look back up at the lanky boy again. "We want to take care of you to make sure you're okay. We love you Kido." The sincere adoration on his face causes her to hiccup out a sob and she brings him nearer; his arms open to draw her in.

There were not too many people that saw her like this, that she trusted to see her like this. It was only a habit, she was the family humiliation, she didn't expect anyone to care for her because of the mistake she was. After the fire, it hadn't been possible to harbor anything within.

It was with Ayaka's death that she had started to revert to the old way of bearing with emotions, with Ayano being the final straw.

Seto gave a small hush at her persisting sniffle, his palm sliding over her spine. It reminds her so much of a time where this was all reversed, except for it's in
a house full of children and he was much, much smaller. Maybe it was a day when he had been made fun of for speaking to something furry or one where the weatherman had warned their area about a possible flood. He's not the same crybaby who's hand she had to hold anymore; he's tall enough now to rest his forehead on her temple.

After a few good minutes of murmured reassurances and some very ugly sobbing, she steps away, arms still holding onto his sides as he slowly unwound her from his own arms.

A hoodie sleeve takes care of the dampness underneath her eyes as her sheepishness started to set in. "Sorry."

His eyes seem shinier than before, she notices, "Don't be sorry."

Her lips manage to form a smile, "Then, thank you." The corners of his mouth tilt upward as he brushes the bangs from her eyes, his expression then suddenly closing off. Which was a strange thing, Seto was about as enigmatic as a piece of clean glass.

Careful lips touch the spot above her eye. "You're welcome," he murmurs against her skin. He then straightens and, once her head has absorbed what's just occurred, she immediately goes scarlet.

She steps away, untangling the rest of herself from his hold. "We," she tries to remember the ending to this sentence while willing the redness on her cheeks to vanish. "Should eat." She eventually managed and Seto nods, his gaze lingered in place long enough for her have to clear her throat and snap him out of wherever he'd been.

"Kido?" She peeks over at him as he now fidgets in the kitchen doorframe. "I am always here." He slipped her a final, shy, grin and left to find his food while she went back to gathering her own.

Letting him go had felt premature, the reassuring sensation of another body hadn't been something she was ready to surrender yet. From the way his arms hesitated before returning to his sides the feeling had been shared; she hadn't been the only one in need of solace tonight.

When she enters the living room again she finds Seto sitting in their sole armchair, his smile from before reshaped into something more cheerful. She only shook her head, there went her streak, as she sat down in front of him, folding her legs beneath herself.

She's sucking at the lip of her spoon when a sharp taste nearly has her spewing it back into its bowl. A glance at Seto revealed the face of someone who wished to do the same, both of them scarcely forcing the dish down.

"That was-"

"Cold." she finishes and Seto shook his head in assent, thinly veiled displeasure on his face.

She's already stepping back into the kitchen when Seto cries out: "It does taste good!" She just shakes her head, peeved at the stew and at herself for forgetting about their meal, and delivered both bowlfuls back to the rest of the batch. The ache in her muscles is still fairly constant but the throbbing in her ribcage is erratic, dulled.

She turns the burner back on high, for now she won't worry.

Hey, hopefully you enjoyed, might've gone off the rails on a crazy feels train, y'know? Heh, whoops. Now you've got two more chapter to go! I don't think they'll be as bad, we'll see.

Comments, Critiques, Compliments (^##^), let me have it.

Edit: Came back and cleaned up a little. I almost completely preserved the original story except for like one sentence. Hopefully I
didn't make it worse than before. ^^;