"So, tell me again why we're out here Donnie?" Raph grumbled, mildly displeased at not having any heads to bash.
"I'm following up on something I read on a forum," Donnie replied as he glanced at him. "There have been increasing reports of a strange goo in the water lately."
"But there's a monster movie marathon tonight!" Mikey whined with his usual theatrics. "I'm totally gonna miss creature from the black lagoon!"
Raph smirked as he snuck up to Mikey then pounced on him, earning himself a girlish scream that was like music to his ears. It all ended abruptly when Leo's voice floated to him.
"Ninjas are quiet!" Leo scolded as he glared at the two, though his stare was mostly for Raphael.
"Get bent, Fearless." Raph growled, stalking up to him. "Ain' nutin' around here," He continued, a smirk replacing his scowl. "Unless yer afraid of da big, bad goo."
"Tsk, grow up Raph."
A chuckle from the larger turtle immediately put him on edge. "Oh, I think we both know just how grownup I am." He husked, tweaking his tail as he shouldered past him.
"Raph!" Leo hissed, trying to hide his sudden discomfort. "You said you'd keep it behind closed doors!"
The red banded brother simply smirked over his shoulder, gold eyes all but teasing him. "Musta slipped my mind." He rumble deeply, wiggling his eye ridges before heading towards Donatello.
"S'up?" Raph asked, staring at his brother's wiggling tail.
"Look!" Donnie exclaimed as he pointed to a patch of white, semi-transparent goo floating on the water.
Raph crossed his arms as he looked at it. "Guess this ain' a wild goose chase after all." He replied, ignoring the look Leo shot him as he came to stand at his side.
Donnie slipped his bo under the mass and lifted, the goo came readily enough. Sticky was what he'd been expecting and not the slight elasticity it displayed instead. He brought it near his face, examining it intently and Raph rolled his eyes when Mikey made a disgusted face behind Donnie. The hot head brought his face near it, peering intently before an eye ridge went up as he reached out, taking a bit of it between his fingers, rolling it experimentally.
"You're contaminating the sample!" Donnie said with pout.
"Grow a pair, there's plenty." He muttered, tilting his head towards the water. "Pretty sure I know what it is anyway."
Raph could practically feel three pairs of eyes turn towards him as he leaned over the edge and snatched some more goo out of the water.
"Maybe its sea men," Mikey said with a giggle. "Get it?"
Leo sighed at his comment while Donatello mumbled into his palm as he hid his face.
Raph flicked the goo off his hand as he got up. "Dis way." He called, heading towards the more industrial side of town.
The three of them glanced at each other before hurrying to catch up to him. Raph ignored their questions as he continued on until he eventually he came to a stop, holding a finger up to his lips and snuck ahead, his brothers following silently. What they saw was a man using a hose to clean out some vats into the harbor, the goo dropping into the water. This went on for a few more vats before the man returned his load to a nearby factory.
"Well?" Donnie asked, looking towards his emerald brother. "Care to elaborate, all-knowing one."
Raph looked at him smugly. "Dat's a condom factory, Donnie-boy."
Three pairs of eyes went wide, glancing first at the building and then back at him.
"And you know this how exactly?" Donnie inquired with a raised eye ridge.
"I know this city like da back of my shell."
"You can't even see the back of your shell."
Raph smirked at him and Donnie suddenly had the sinking feeling he'd stepped into something. "Oh, you wanna test dat out?" He asked, bringing his face inches from his. "In da bedroom?" He finished in a throaty whisper.
Donnie's cheeks couldn't possibly have gotten any redder. Raph gave him a wink and walked over to edge to watch the goo float slowly away with the current.
"So, let me get this straight." Donnie started, frowning down at the water as he came to stand beside him. "There's pre condom latex rubber floating in the harbor?" He asked, glancing back up.
"Yup." Raph said, patting his shell as he headed back the way they'd come.
Mikey suddenly ran ahead, putting his hands on his knees once he got to one of the floating masses to look at it. "Yo Mikey?" Raph called, grinning when his baby brother looked at him. "Bet if ya stick yer dick in it you'll get a custom-made condom."
"Really?" He asked, looking far too happy at the prospect for Leonardo's sake.
Raph came up to him and nipped at his chin. "Ya know what else?" He asked, licking Mikey's neck.
"What?" He squeaked, shivering from the attention.
Raph smirked against his neck as he slapped Mikey's shell, sending his baby brother head first into the floating rubber with a loud splash.
Mikey came back up spluttering. "Get it off! Get if off!" He yelled, clawing at his face. "What the shell Raph?" He asked, glaring up at him as he pulled himself out of water with a disgusted shudder.
"That's fer puttin' da dead spider on my pillow yesterday." He growled, heading for the nearest manhole.
"I said I was sorry!"
Raph ignored him as he pushed the manhole cover aside and dropped back into the sewers.
"So…did anyone else notice Raph's horny meter is off the charts tonight?" Mikey asked, earning himself blank expressions from the other two.
"He's always horny, Mikey."