I feel so lost. Like I'm in a dream. And I can't wake up. I can't break free. I'm not alive, but I'm among the living. I see what I'm doing, know this is what I want. But I'm still not in control. My name is Kikyo.

Tonight, my power is weakening. I want to see InuYasha one last time. I didn't want to kill him, I had given up on that since I opened my eyes and seen the truth.

I also gave up on Kagome. In the beginning, I was jealous. I don't know if anyone can feel my pain, but this is the easiest way to explain it:

Imagine you were told you were supposed to move to another country. The person piloting the plane decided that he wanted to turn around and go back.

The way everyone talks about me is like telling me to get back on the plane and leave my country. To never return. But you just can't do it when you never wanted to leave in the first place.

On the way home, you're saying to yourself, "I get to see the man I love again. Even though he had admitted that he was using me for something I had been guarding."

The thing that tore my heart apart was the fact that the man I loved had now moved on. What upset me was that his new woman was fighting my battle.

Say that the school bully was just another student, but he was under cover. Inside his mind was a plan. But no one beside his minions knew about it.

In my eyes, the "almost-school-bully" had picked a random student and decided to bully his crush and her boyfriend.

Then, when the school bully had hit me, I went on my plane to another country. And as the plane turned back, I knew I was hoping for it to do so. But something inside me was saying, "No. I don't want to go back. Something is wrong. I don't want to go back!" But it wasn't my choice. I was forced to come back and I couldn't get back onto the plane.

Sometimes, going back isn't even an option. I always have some unfinished business here, which always leads into another project.

I looked up and for the first time in a long time, I began to cry. I saw InuYasha and my first guess was that my soul-collectors had gone to get him.

InuYasha knelt beside me and took me in his arms. But something felt cold. It almost felt like he was forcing himself to do so. "Kikyo, are you all right?" He asked.

"InuYasha..." I said, lightly grabbing part of his kimono. I looked into his eyes, something I had not done in a while. I hadn't because Kagome had aways ran in and ruined the moment.

"Kikyo, I can't let you die again! I just can't!"

"InuYasha, I can't continue living like this. They all hate me because I'm alive – for no reason at all. InuYasha, I can't force you to come to hell with me because you belong to Kagome now. But, do you want to come to hell with me?"

InuYasha looked away. "I'm sorry, Kikyo. I can't. I married Kagome and I plan to stay faithful to her."

"Then I won't kiss you. But will you still hold me until I drop into the distance? You promised to be by my side until the end of time. Will you at least hold me until my time is up?"

InuYasha sighed. "Even though Kagome will kill me for this..."

From my point of view, Kagome was selfish. Yes, she had saved me a few times, but that was only because she had nothing better to do. She never saved me because she liked me. Every time InuYasha came to my side, she'd get all upset. She doesn't even understand the he was mine first. She seems to forget that we are one – I am her and she is me.

InuYasha held me closer, but he did not cry. I sensed no emotion from him.

Last time I boarded my plane, InuYasha was too pissed to see me go safely and I had also been too pissed to even care. But tonight, he cared to see that I had safely gone.

Tonight, I boarded my plane. And I was fairly sure that the plane was not going to turn around and come back.