As You Turn Away
One-shot Jogan Dalton-verse
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. All credit goes to Ryan Murphy and CP Coulter.
Summary: Based on the song "As You Turn Away" by Lady Antebellum, Daltonverse. Julian sits in his trailer on the set of his new movie, and a song starts to play on his iPod. He thinks back to Dalton, and everyone he has left behind.
Author's Note:I was listening to my iPod and this song came on, and it screamed Jogan so I had to write it. Hope you like it. First try at writing a one-shot.
Julian sat in his trailer of his new movie, the prefect lie. He had been filming for the past couple of hours and had a break, while the crew set up for the next scene. Julian had put his iPod on when he walked in, and was happily reading the script when the song came on, suddenly his mind was filled with the memories of a blonde boy, and nights of crying himself to sleep. He sang along with the song.
Standing face to face
Wrapped in your embrace
Don't wanna let you go
But you're already gone
Memories flooded his mind, remembering times when Logan was crying in his arms about failed relationships with boys and his father. Julian would hug him so tightly, secretly telling him he would always be there for him. Not matter what he would be there, even if it broke his heart to see the boy he was so deep in love with, with tears in his eyes and seeming so broken. Julian would rock them back and forth humming a lullaby he heard when he was young, hoping it would help Logan calm down.
Logan would pull back and an a small weak smile would appear on his face. Julian would feel his heart break. "You'll be fine, I promise," Julian would whispered to him.
"You always say that Jules,"
"I mean it Lo, you're strong. You can make it through anything," Julian would say and flash him a real smile that he only saved for Logan.
Now you kiss my cheek
Soft and bittersweet
I can read it in your eyes
This is our goodbye
When Julian first started to get roles in freshman year, Logan would hug Julian and wish him a goodbye. Julian would hate but love those times. Having Logan so close to feel his heart beat against Julian's.
"Be good and don't kill anyone," Julian would always joke with a smile
"And you don't hit any paparazzi," Logan would counter.
"I'll try not, look after him D," Julian said as he hugged Derek goodbye.
"See you around, J" Derek said with a smile
"Don't worry I'll be back in a couple of months, till then his all yours" Julian said as he turned to walked to the car.
Nothing more to say
Nothing left to break
I keep reaching out for you
Hoping you might stay
Logan and Derek would stand on the steps to Dalton waving to Julian as he drove down the driveway. He would wave back until he could not see them anymore and put on his big sunglasses to hide his red eyes, as he cried all the way to the airport.
Nothing more to give
Nothing left to take
I keep reaching out for you
Reaching out for you
As you turn away
Julian hadn't notice but he was crying as he pulled his knees to his chest. He had to do it, it was for his own sanity. He couldn't stay anymore.
Let go of my hand
So I can feel again
Nothing's going to hurt as much
As that final touch
The lyrics hit him hard, as all the memories that went with the lyrics came flooding back to him like a dam he had built up had just broken. He glanced down at his hand and he swore he could feel Logan's hand still in his. He remembers the feeling of Logan pulling him along to the senior common room and started to play the piano. Logan had wanted Julian to hear a song he was gonna sing to Kurt. Julian sat next to Logan and heard him pour out his heart in the song, and Julian had to try everything to stop himself crying. He hadn't notice that Logan had finished the song and was now looking at Julian. Julian just smiled, "His gonna love it," Julian said trying to stop his heart breaking into a million pieces from that one song. His head screaming at him to run and lock his self away but Logan had wanted his opinion and Julian would always but Logan ahead of himself. Logan laughed and hugged Julian.
"Thanks Jules, you are so awesome," Logan said as he stood up and started walking out of the room to leave a broken Julian, just sitting there staring at the piano.
No we can't be friends
Cause I couldn't take seeing you
And knowing where we've been
I hope you understand
Julian rocked back and forth as the song started to pick up, the tears never stopping as they fell down his cheeks. A small laughed escaped out of his mouth, as the last two lines were sang.
Nothing more to say
Nothing left to break
I keep reaching out for you
Hoping you might stay
Nothing more to give
Nothing left to take
I keep reaching out for you
Reaching out for you
As you turn away
One step my hear is breaking
One more my hands are shaking
The door is closing
And I just can't change it
Julian remembers the night he left. Derek yelling at him all day when he told him he was leaving and of course Logan was nowhere to be found as he probably was running after Kurt. Julian packed his bags to the sounds of Derek trying to convince him to stay, but Julian simply shook his head.
"I'm doing this for me, D. Please understand that," Julian whispered, he didn't trust his voice.
"I know you're hurting but you should at least try and tell him, let him decide," Derek said as he sat on the bed opposite Julian.
"I'm not his type D, and I've known it for so long. Nevertheless, I have never admitted to myself. There was always this little light of hope. But I know now, it's never going to happen and it's selfish for me to stay here, and continue to hope, so I'm leaving," Julian said with a sad smile. "We will always be friends D, just cause I'm not here anymore, doesn't mean we have to stop being friends. We'll call each other so you have someone to vent too," Julian said with a laugh. Julian hugged Derek. "Just look after him for me, make sure he doesn't get in trouble," Julian whispered.
"You're not going to say goodbye to him?" Derek asked
"I don't know where he is and don't you have a date with Casey?" Julian asked
"Yeah I do, but I can cancel it, drive you to the airport?" Derek asked
"No, go. I don't want you too, just go. Have fun," Julian said with a small smile.
Derek hugged Julian once more before he left for his date. Julian looked at his watch and saw it was time to go. He walked down the hall and stopped at Logan's door. His eyes fell to the ground. A small tear rolled down his cheek. He kissed his fingers and reached out a shaking hand and pressed it too the door. "Goodbye, be good for Derek" he whispered.
He took a deep breath, 'You're doing this for you, and you can't stay. It will just hurt more if you do,' Julian chanted to himself as he walked down the steps and out the door. He handed his suit cases over to the driver, and climbed into the car. He took one more look over his shoulder at the disappearing building behind him.
Nothing more to say
Nothing left to break
Julian whispered the next lines in his trailer. His heart breaking like it did that night. He knew deep down inside he left his heart at Dalton with a Blonde prefect, who would never give him the time of day. He took a deep breath, and wiped away the last of the tears. He knew this was gonna hurt but sometimes he needed to break down to know he was gonna be alright. He stood and walked to the bathroom, washing his face. There was a knock on the trailer door, he opened the door to see one of the assistant asking him to return to set and get ready to shoot. He nodded and grabbed his script and walked to the set.
Nothing more to give
Nothing left to take
I keep reaching out for you
Reaching out for you
I keep reaching out for you
Reaching out for you
As you turn away
As you turn away
Sitting in an empty senior common room at Dalton sat a blonde prefect with his iPod in his ears listening to it. It had been three months since one of his best friends walked out in the dead of night with no goodbye no excuse.
It had been two and a half months since the blonde prefect found out he was deeply in love with his best friend.
So every night since he had left the blonde prefect sat by the window in a empty senior commons room, waiting for shooting stars to wish that his friend would come back.
As you turn away...