She was sitting on the picnic bench staring up at the stars. There were light cricket sounds in the background. It was peaceful and relaxing. She found it amazing. All of the stars were billions of miles away, they were millions of light-years away. Since they were so far away you're seeing a past version of the star. That what you were seeing could be a 50-year-old version of the star. For all, they knew the star died a year ago. It was a nice reminder that the world was bigger than her. Plus how amazing the world is. After a week like she had, she needed that reminder.
She didn't look at the stars that much. Growing up in New York meant a good skyline but no stars. The first time she saw the stars was a camping trip when she was 13. Her friend was going camping and invited her. She was surprised her parents let her go. She remembers being wowed. Sitting on a blanket in a middle of the field looking at the stars. Just being wowed that something so pretty actually exists out there. She had heard amazing stories about the stars but never really understood what they were until that point.
Jaz didn't really care when Dalton sat next to her. He sat and looked up at the stars. They didn't need to speak. She could feel the heat radiating off him. It was nice. She felt safe. That warm kind of safe that you don't realize you feel too often. Just sitting next to him made her feel safe. After all that had happened, she needed to feel safe. He did that to her. Made her feel safe even when they were getting shot at or in a war-stricken country. Just one look and it was calmness. She thinks he senses it and that's why he always paired her up with him during missions.
"Didn't expect to catch a city girl looking at the stars," he broke the silence.
"Well they're nice," she said.
"I know," he said.
They sat in silence for a couple of minutes.
"How are you?" he asked and stopped looking at the stars and looked into my eyes.
She knew he was referring to the kidnapping and torture. She was going to respond, but his eyes distracted her. God his eyes. Even in the dark, they were beautiful.
"Ok," I said getting out of the trace he put me in by just a look in his eyes.
"Really?" he questioned.
"Really," I said.
"You know its ok to not be ok," he said.
She knew she was really ok though. Well, right now she was. Sitting here with him, she felt safe and loved. She did want this moment to end.
"I know and I am really ok," I said.
"Ok," he said.
"Ok," she said back.
They broke eye contact. She didn't want the moment to end but she had to bring it up. All good moments come to an end, eventually. She would let it last a couple minutes longer though.
After a couple of minutes, she finally said, "you should have left me".
"What," he said and looked at her confused.
"It was protocol to leave me in Iran, you should've," I said.
"And let you be tortured," he said.
"I can handle that, what I can't handle is someone getting hurt trying to rescue me," I said.
"No, Jaz I could never have left you Iran," he said.
"You still shouldn't have come for me," I said.
"Jaz, we will always come for you, I will always come for you. Now I don't care if it's in the middle of a war-stricken country or the most dangerous place in the world. I will ALWAYS come for you. Ok. It is not up to you to choose whether or not we come for you. We care about you Jaz. I care about you," he said.
"I've never had people who come for me," I whispered.
"Well now you do," he said.
He was right. She did have people who came for her. That still didn't mean she was scared to death of losing them. She couldn't live with herself if someone died or got hurt by trying to save her. She couldn't stop them from doing whatever they wanted to do. She put her head on his shoulder. The touch sent warm waves through her body. She relaxed into him.
They sat there for awhile till it was time to go to sleep. She could sleep peacefully remembering those warm feelings. She knew it was forbidden, but she didn't care. She loved the way he made her feel and nobody, no even some stupid rule, was going to take those feelings away.
He layed in bed trying to go to sleep. He kept thinking about him and Jaz sitting out and looking at the stars. Sitting there with her felt better than it probably should've. The warmth that radiates through his body when he looked into her eyes. Being mesmerized anytime she talked. How he felt at home when her head was on his shoulder. How beautiful she looked when she smiled. She should smile more often. None of these things are things a C.O. should be feeling for his Sergeant. He couldn't help it though.
He couldn't believe she thought they shouldn't have come for her. The things he would do for her, just because she asked. What was this woman doing to him? He was so scared when she was captured. Scared of losing her. Of never seeing her smile again. Of never hearing her laugh. He wanted to see her smile and laugh for the rest of her life. Stop it, Dalton, you are her C.O. it is against the rules. The only problem is that argument is that he would break the rules for her. He would do anything for Jaz. He didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. It sure as hell felt good.