Anonymous Saru: Aha, so I was talking to a friend of mine at lunch one day, and she was telling me about this fic she read. And so right now, I started thinking about it. And this is really my first fic sort of like this. So I decided to throw caution to the wind and do it. And plus, I don't think anyone else has done it on this one XD;
Anonymous Saru side note: Don't get your panties in a bunch, Catch me if you Can will be updated as soon as possible. I had school to attend to and football games to play at and stories to beta (which are still in the process, fucking wrist,) but as for now, take your mind off the delay with this ever so wonderful fic :3
Rating: T; you dirty perverts. Lets see how much your mind is in the gutter.
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Sasuke wouldn't be in the fucking spot light. D: And I just realized that the title sort of reminds me of one of Dane Cook's comedy sketches of him at the BK lounge. XD;
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Pickles
It was a fine fair day in Konoha. Absolutely perfect for training, or just lounging about. Or as what Shikamaru would do, cloud gaze. But anyways, this isn't about the fucking weather or the damned clouds.
A girl with pink bubble-gum hair is seen roaming the streets of Konoha. It appears as if she's in search for someone. She stops and heads inside to the local flower shop that is owned by the Yamanaka family.
"Neh Ino-pig, have you seen Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked as she leisurely leaned against the counter.
"Nope. Not today Big brow." Ino said as she set down her scissors. "Why do you want to know?" She asked as she examined the newly cut flowers that were due for an order in any second.
"Oh, I was just wondering if I could catch him so we can train together. Since we're on the same team and all..." Sakura drawled out rubbing it in Ino's face that Sasuke and her were in the same team.
"Ah, well then. I definitely haven't seen him. Maybe you can find Naruto? He sure has been hanging around Sasuke-kun for a while." Ino said grumpily, wishing that it was her in place of Sakura.
"Alright." Sakura said and with that she walked over to the only place she could imagine Naruto would be on a day such as this. Ichiraku's. She was somewhat dreadful by the time she arrived. She knew that the instant she would get there Naruto would be all over her like Choji on barbecue.
But, ironically the stands were somewhat empty.
"Oyaji-san?" Sakura questioned as she walked closer.
Teuchi, the shop owner looked up from boiling the noodles. "Ah? Sakura-chan?" He questioned. "How may I help you? Your usual Udon bowl?"
"No, not today. Have you seen Naruto?" Sakura asked.
"Uhh. Ayame-chan, he was here today right?" Teuchi asked glancing back at his daughter who was back from one of her trips.
"Yes, he was here around an hour ago. He had that Uchiha with him too." Ayame said sweetly.
Ohh! Bingo! She was heading somewhere! Sakura thought as she pumped her fists joyfully. "Great Ayame-san, do you know where they went?"
Ayame tapped her chin in thought. "I believe he mentioned something about going to train. Him and the Uchiha survivor were pretty keen on it."
Sakura jumped up happily. "Thanks Ayame-san!" And with that she headed off to the training grounds.
Sakura landed on a small patch of dry grass as she scanned the training grounds. She had expected to see either Sasuke or Naruto, or hell even both. But instead the only people she saw were the team from cell eight. Maybe Hinata might know where Naruto went. Sakura thought as she advanced towards the training team.
"Hey, has anyone seen where Sasuke and Naruto went off too?" Sakura asked glancing at the three.
"Hiya Sakura." Kiba said as he stood up from his crouched position. Raising a hand up he signaled for the other two to stop. Waving them over he called out to Hinata. "Which direction did Naruto and Sasuke leave?"
"Ah... a-ano. Uhm. They headed off to the Hokage monument." Hinata said sheepishly. Poking her two fingers together nervously.
"Yeah. They left oh, say, fifteen minutes ago. If you head over there quickly then maybe you could—" Kiba got out as he watched Sakura's pink hair bob off in the distance. "Eh?" He said tilting his head. "Looks like she was one step ahead of me."
Shino shrugged indifferently. "Let's continue."
Hinata nodded. "Y-yeah."
Meanwhile, as soon as Sakura set foot on the Hokage monument she had expected to see Sasuke and Naruto. Not Shikamaru.
"Shikamaru?" Sakura questioned as she gazed at the boy who lied on his back gazing at the clouds with a wheat stalk in his mouth.
"Hnn?" He murmured lazily. Not once taking his eyes off the formulating clouds.
"Where'd Sasuke and Naruto go?" Sakura asked, almost wanting to give up on the wild goose chase she was on.
"At Naruto's for a snack. They left a few seconds ago." Shikamaru sighed lazily adding one of his usual sly remarks.
Sakura sighed and with that trudged all the way back to Naruto's apartment. She had no idea where it was either. By the time she had finally gotten directions and an address the sun was already setting. Ending the would-be perfect day for training.
Sakura lugged her body up the stairs and rested against Naruto's door. Raising her fist she was just about to knock, until a voice caught her attention. It was Sasuke's! Pressing her ear against the door she strained to hear his delicate voice through the wooden door.
"Teme. It's stuck. You'll never get it out with the rate you're going at." Naruto said sadly.
"I'll show you who's stronger dobe. Just hold still." Sasuke said smartly.
"O-ow! teme! Th-that hurt!" Naruto whined.
"Oh you big baby. It was just a little shove. If you think that hurts wait till you see what'll happen next." Sasuke said roughly.
Wait a minute. What were they doing in there! Sakura thought as her eyes grew to the size of melons.
"O-ow! S-sasuke! It's not... Ow!" Naruto cried aloud.
"Tch." Sasuke muttered as he continued with whatever he was doing.
"T-teme watch out—!" Naruto cried as something shattered to the ground. Whatever happened it had Naruto whimpering in pain.
"It—ooh. Ow teme!" Naruto moaned.
"Just hold on for a second, the pain should subside soon." Sasuke said tenderly.
"T-teme! Tha-that hurt! And the pain's not going away! I-it's in there deep!" Naruto cried helplessly.
"It is not in there deep. You're just being a baby. Now hold still..." Sasuke said in a somewhat sorry tone.
Sakura's body went rigid with fear. Sasuke-kun gay?! What, no! Never! She couldn't take it anymore. "Nooo!!" Sakura cried as she burst through the door. She expected to see vulgar things, but instead she saw a light green liquid with a mixture of red stains in a puddle by Naruto's and Sasuke's feet.
"S-Sakura-chan?" Naruto mumbled holding his hand that was spouting the red liquid.
"W-what?" Sakura said dumbfounded. "Weren't you two having sex?!" Sakura screeched.
"Tch, no. Not with that dobe." Sasuke grunted.
"Like hell would I let that teme fondle me!" Naruto said at the same time.
"T-then what...?" Sakura asked.
"Ne, Sakura-chan. I was only offering Sasuke some pickles. I couldn't get it open so I handed over the glass to him, but he had to show off and he later then broke the glass. A piece got shoved into my palm." Naruto said as he paused to raise his now almost healed hand. "He got it out just as you ran in yelling no."
"I-is that true?" Sakura asked. Looking from Sasuke to Naruto.
"Hnn." Sasuke nodded a slight blush on his face as he crossed his arms.
"O-oh. W-well then. I-I should be going. Sorry for intruding Naruto-kun. See you later." Sakura said and with that she headed outside as fast as you could say busted. Her actions almost resembled a whipped dog.
Sasuke stood there gaping slightly. "I can't believe she thought we were having sex."
"Yeah. Who would have sex with you Sasuke-teme?" Naruto asked goofily.
"You for one dobe." Sasuke said with a silent hump. "But that's not what I had meant usuratonkachi."
"Then what did you mean?" Naruto questioned as he licked at the pickle juice that was still on his hand.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and sighed. "Never mind dobe."
Anonymous Saru: See it wasn't that bad? Hopefully I entertained a few of you all. Don't kill me! (Meeps and hides under a rock)
Naruto: Haha, this was actually rated M at the beginning, but Monkey-chan hates reading those fics where it's rated M and nothing happens, except for implications or time skips on sex.
Sasuke: Hnn, this went unbeta'd and hardly looked at before submitting, the only thing the monkey really looked for were spelling mistakes...
Anonymous Saru: But I would like to think that it isn't that messed up. (Sweatdrop) Grammatically and punctuation wise, that is. But whatev' this was kinda of spur of the last moment type of fics. xD;