The Escapades of DARTH! Maximus: Episode II
Summary: Darth Maximus has now come back from his touring the Galaxy. Now, on his home planet of Pie, he is reunited with his Minions, and shall go on various misleading adventures... :O
A/N: Well, here's Episode II, even though I haven't finished Episode I yet! :D Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I like bananas. Do you like bananas? Oh, and I don't own Star Wars.
Enough of my ramblings.
-Darth Maximus
Prologue: Return.
Darth Maximus straightened, grasping at his most famous and foremost Star Destroyer, The Computer's controls. He turned a lever to a sector marked 'Autopilot' and punched in the coordinates of the planet Pie's airspace. Swivelling in his sedan travelling chair, he cranked it down and he plummeted to the ground, shuddering to a halt mere inches from the ground. Before him, Minion Secretary stood, shuffling slightly.
"We are on-course to the airspace of planet Pie," Darth Maximus announced. Minion Secretary brightened up, sat down on a stool nearby, unsheathed her sword and started sharpening it with a very medieval looking rock. Darth Maximus hopped gently off his chair, careful not to disturb Smoochums as he lifted the teddy-bear into his arms. Minion Secretary's russet brown hair shifted slightly as she looked up at Maximus.
"How is Smoochums?" Minion Secretary asked carefully, not knowing what Darth Maximus' reaction would be. Maximus, showing himself to be in a good humour, grinned with a disturbingly large grin at Minion Secretary's shocked face. At that precise moment in time and space, a loud voice interrupted Darth Maximus and Minion Secretary, who had been grinning and staring open-mouthed at each other respectively for the last ten minutes.
"Entering planet Pie's Airspace," the voice said in a deep monotone. "Speak password or be incinerated." Darth Maximus cleared his throat, and grabbed a microphone from Minion Secretary's hand. In the space of about two point six seconds, Minion had travelled to the other side of The Computer and retrieved a microphone.
"Smoooooooooooochums, Moohahahaha!" he sang/spoke with clear authority.
"Password verified," the voice responded. "Authorisation accepted." The Computer travelled inwards, closer to the planet until Maximus piloted it outwards and 'parked' the Star Destroyer. Then, with startling agility and gracefulness, he strode to the hangar, still with Smoochums nestled snugly in the crook of his arm. He picked out The Lamb, Darth Maximus' lambdashuttle ship, and
strode into the cockpit. He piloted the ship expertly out of The Computer's hangar and cruised gently towards the surface of the planet, trailed by two PIE Fighters.
"Approaching Docking Bay One," a voice announced. "Authorised ship entering." At those words, Pietroopers dutifully filed into the Bay to welcome Darth Maximus home. The Lamb glided gracefully into the hangar, folding its wings as it slid to a stop. There was a hiss as the ship's ramp lowered. A pair of boots appeared briefly as there was a jettison of gas, silhouetting Darth Maximus against the ship. The Pietroopers snapped to attention, and Minions One, Two and Three appeared, standing expectantly. The Cleaner was seen in the background somewhere, looking rather angry and waving a mop in the air. Minion Two thought she was yelling angrily,
"Minion Two!! Get your dirty socks out of your room!! Look at these footprints! Disgusting! You should know better!!"
Darth Maximus strode gracefully down the ramp, followed closely by a (metaphorically) hovering Minion Secretary. Maximus' flowing white robes flapped high (not that they didn't do that normally), but his hood still covered his head and most of his hair, excusing a few locks of electric blue hair. The Minions crowded around him, hugging him tightly and screaming things such as:
"Maxy!! We missed you!"
Darth Maximus shook his head. How dare they?! He thought.
"At-teeeen-tion!" Darth Maximus snapped. The Minions skipped back a few paces, and snapped to a salute.
"Wobbufett!" Minion Two yelled out. Darth Maximus glanced at her. Minion Two was standing on her tip-toes, and kept shifting slightly so she wouldn't fall.
"At ease," Darth Maximus growled. The Minions slumped in relief.
"Now, tell me what time it is," Darth Maximus said. Minion Secretary tapped him on his shoulder and helpfully handed him his watch. Maximus took a moment to attach it.
"WHAT?!" he thundered. Minions One, Two, Three and Secretary cowered. "By decree of Darth Maximus it is not eleven o'clock in the morning, but six past ten in the night!" Suddenly, outside of the hangar became dark as the sky became black, and the ten moons of Pie became visible. The light switch of the hangar was turned on.
"Now, tell me how things at Pie while I've been gone," Maximus said as they exited the hangar.
"Now onto the weather, please be warned that in approximately twenty seconds there will be complete downpour," Darth Maximus said. "After approximately five minutes it will be noon, drizzling slightly. Thank you, citizens of Pie. That is all."
A/N: Well, here's the chapter. What do you think? Good? Bad? Please review!