AN: So I posted my thoughts about this episode on tumblr some months ago (Codeblackglitter) and I've thought about making it into a full story for some time, now I'm finally done with part 1. There will be more chapters.
It's based around the events in "Parabatai Lost" (2x07). It's focused on Magnus, it's from his point of view, so it contains parts from the episode but also me filling in the blanks between scenes. Hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER; I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, IT BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE AND THE WRITERS OF SHADOWHUNTERS

Magnus looked down on Alec, laying motionless on the bed. The only thing giving away that he was even alive was his random twitches from his legs, arms and eyelids. His beautiful face covered in sweat. Magnus hadn't left Alec's side for hours, he was determined to do what ever it took to bring him back.

He did everything he could to ignore Raj standing guard by the door and focus on the magic he used on Alec. The anger he felt at Aldertree and Raj's behavior kept him going, it gave him energy to keep his magic flowing. However, what really kept him going, what made him not giving up, not growing too tiered, was his love for Alec. His need for Alec to be all right, to come back to him. Magnus saw Alec's face twitch and almost didn't believe his ears when he heard him stutter "no .. it's too late" it was low, almost soundless, but it was there, Alec had spoken.

Magnus stopped his magic and to bend down, closer to Alec. Lightly touching his face, feeling hope that he was coming back from whatever place he was captured. "Alec" he whispered at him, but when he got no response he felt all the frustration and anger bubble back up and he used magic to throw the glass and candle down from the table beside him as he stood up. He was frustrated and tiered, he didn't know what to do to wake Alec up. In the corner of his eye he saw Raj take a step forward.

"You know you're going to have to clean that up" Raj said to him, and Magnus really wanted to punch him, to kill that annoying Shadowhunter. Magnus didn't care about anything but Alec, he certainly didn't care if there was two items on the floor instead of on the table. He shot Raj a look, that would've killed him instantly if someone could kill with just a look. Magnus turned away form Raj, having to collect himself to not kill that man, just because is old doesn't mean that he's patient.

"I feel you man but I have direct orders" Raj continued and Magnus turned back around only to see Raj walking toward him, he clenched his jaw. "If you can't help him, then you need to go" Raj continued not waiting for Magnus to answer. And Magnus could feel the anger almost exploding, it was typical nephilim not understand anything. Just blindly following orders, not caring who got effected, even if it was one of their own.

"My magic is the only thing keeping Alec from completely slipping away. I won't leave" there truly was nothing, nobody, that could make him leave Alec here. He'd rather die right here, right now, knowing that he'd done everything in his power to help Alec.

"I know you're old" Raj answered and Magnus rolled his eyes, tasteful Raj, really, playing that card? "But I didn't realize that you were hard of hearing" Raj was really getting on his last nerve and this was not the time to push him. "He's clearly not waking up anytime soon, so you can leave now" Magnus looked away so he wouldn't punch Raj. "Or I can remove you myself" he continued and was moving closer and closer. Magnus had had enough, that was the last drop, he lifted his hand, pointed two fingers at Raj, magic pouring out of him. Two orange strings of magic, strangling Raj. If Magnus left Alec now, that would be the death of Alec. But stupid Raj didn't get that, stupid nephilim never got these things, had never understood that there was things that Downworlders could do that they could not. That Downworlders could help them as Shadowhunters tried to help Downworlders. Or at least the way they'd tried to help after the aCcords.

"I'm sorry. I don't like being rushed" he growled at Raj before throwing him against the wall, the painting on the wall following him down on the floor. He sees Izzy opening the door at the same time as Raj hits the floor, he's blinded by rage and runs toward Raj. When he felt Izzy's hand on his shoulder he stopped, the rage dying down a little bit "Magnus, stop" Izzy's voice brings him out of his blinding rage. He still wanted to hurt Raj but he knew that it was pointless. "We need to get Alec out of here" at that Magnus gave her a look saying 'no shit', but Izzy ignored it "but this isn't helping" Magnus sighed, he knew she was right. Killing Raj would only make everything worse, and it certainly wouldn't bring Alec back. He turned his back to Izzy, looking at Alec again.

Magnus took a deep breath before starting to care for Alec with his magic again. He could hear Izzy pacing behind him. They both knew that they somehow needed to get Alec to Magnus's apartment. The question was how.

"When's Raj going to wake up?" he heard Izzy's voice behind him. Magnus had forgotten about Raj. That Shadowhunter really was a pain in the ass. He turned around, pouting, looking at Izzy's worried face and then at the passed out Raj on the floor. He snapped his fingers "there" he said and turned his attention towards Alec again.

"There what?" Izzy asked.

"I put a sleeping spell, he'll wake up tonight, probably" he muttered, not really caring about when Raj woke up, the only thing he needed was for Alec to wake up.

"Probably?" Izzy sounded annoyed.

"Maybe tomorrow morning. It's different from person to person" he shrugged and continued to do what it took to keep Alec from totally slipping away. The room fell silent again, Izzy was still walking around, thinking and Magnu started to make a potion.

"I have a plan" Izzy said, startling Magnus, he was so concentrated on making the potion that he forgot that he wasn't alone with Alec. He turned around and looked at Izzy, giving her a look saying "go on". while he finished his potion.

"So, since Raj is well" she gestured toward the pasted out Raj on the floor behind her "I can put a rune on him so he looks like Alec, while you take the real Alec through a portal to your place"

It was genius, why hadn't he thought of that? He nodded in response and Izzy quickly turned to Raj, getting to work on the rune while Magnus turned around, stroking Alec's hair, praying that he'd get to see his beautiful hazel eyes again. Carefully he put one arm under Alec's knees, bending his long legs. He pressed his other arm under Alec's back, slowly lifting him up. Alec's head fell to rest on Magnus's shoulder. He turned around to look how Izzy was doing, only to she that she was done. She walked up to them, gently stroking Alec's cheek before lifting one of his arms and placed it around Magnus's neck. She smiled at Magnus. "Take care of him" she whispered as she slipped the stone in his nodded, opening a portal. He looked back before stepping through and saw Izzy throwing Raj over her shoulder, or well, it looked like Alec but he knew it wasn't. He stepped out into his living room, still with Alec in his arms. He could of course move Alec with magic, but he didn't want to. Alec was heavy but Magnus was strong, he also felt a need to be physically close to Alec. The warmth from him reminded Magnus that it wasn't too late, that Alec was still alive. Slowly he walked over to his black leather chaise, slowly with great caution he put Alec down on it. He was afraid that Alec would shatter into a million pieces, that he somehow had turned into porcelain. He stroked Alec's cheek before standing up. He didn't waste any time, he got to work immediately, sending a fire message to his long time friend Catarina, asking for advice, healing magic was her speciality. While waiting for a reply he started mixing some herbs.