Author's Note- Hey guys, this is another Vanity based fic. It's Charity's thoughts on Vanessa and how their relationship has developed and how she's changed as a person through Vanessa's love and support.

Just thought it'd be interesting and if I'm honest, a little cathartic for myself hehe.

Hope you like it.

I own nothing, all rights go to their respective owners

NO ONE ELSE COMES CLOSE

What to say about Vanessa...oh where do I start?

At first, I'll be honest, I didn't give her much thought, if any, but then we were locked in the cellar together and my plan had been to make her feel slightly uncomfortable, ok maybe very uncomfortable, but as I got into her personal space and came face to face with her, my first impulse was just to kiss her, so I did and looking back, I don't regret it and neither does she by the way things are going.

If you'd have asked me a little while ago, if I ever saw myself falling for the little vet, I'd have laughed in your face and told you to keep on dreaming but now...now things are different and yes, she's made some mistakes but so have I and we've moved on from that. Both of us have.

It's so strange because for years I've had this indestructible wall built up-or I thought I had-and then she comes along and keeps chipping away until there's almost nothing left. I tried to push her out, to keep her at arms length because I know how damaged I am and let's face it, who would ever consider a relationship with someone as damaged as me, right?

That's why I keep it light, I keep it fun, because take away that and apart from me being drop dead gorgeous and amazing in bed, what have I got?

When Vanessa broke through, I was scared, I'll admit that to you right now.

I wanted to end things with her because I was so scared of how deep I was letting her get with me, how much I was laying on the line and how much of myself I was showing her.

I've been waiting since that day for her to get bored and leave. They all do in the end and I'm not bitter about it like I used to be, it's just the way things are.

People come, they go and they take whatever I've given them, which is why I learnt to take more from people so that I didn't feel like I'd entirely wasted my time. That I could say they hadn't used me. If anything, I'd used them.

I thought Vanessa would be the same. I thought she'd leave after I'd revealed just a bit of my past but she'd surprised me, she'd stayed and she told me she wasn't going anywhere. I know I've said it to her too but the difference is that I meant it and at the time, I wondered if she did but now I know, now I know she meant it because she's still here ain't she?

Almost every morning I wake up and there she is, sleeping next to me and I feel safe. I feel happy, warm.

No one has ever given me that feeling before. Not Chris, not Zoe, not Jai, certainly not Declan and not even Cain. They don't even come close to her.

I'm not perfect yet she loves me anyway.

When I open my eyes, for a second but only a second, I'm that terrified teen again. Since it got all dragged up again and laid bare, it's all I can think about but then I look next to me and see her there and I'll never admit this out loud but it's at that time when I realize I'm home and safe, that I move closer to her, that I snuggle up to her and she holds me. It's like she knows what I need without me having to say a word. It's incredible. She's incredible.

It's scary to think that one day she could wake up and decide that I'm not what she wants anymore. People do, it's not unheard of but will I ever voice this concern? No chance!

It's the way she talks to me, gets me to talk about things. Even if they don't seem important to me, they are to her and she listens, she actually listens!

I'm falling her for her. There's no other way to put it. It's happening while everything else is going on and it scares me (I've said the word 'scared' a lot here but it's true)

and gives me this wonderful sense of freedom all at the same time.

I don't feel trapped or put upon and just between you and me, I secretly get a little irritated if I don't see her during my day, even if it's just for five minutes or she's popped in for a quick drink. Even a text can make me feel better.

I've spent so long defending myself, making sure life goes my way in any way possible, be it anything good or bad that I have to do to make sure of it. I wouldn't take the blame for anything, I would gladly throw someone under the bus if I meant I was in the clear. If I saw a route to making quick and easy money, I went for it and I didn't care if that even involved my family. Hell, I would've probably shopped my own husband (pick which one you want) if it meant getting some extra cash!

Vanessa seems to be the exception.

I know I said that I couldn't promise that I wouldn't hurt her and I did once, accidentally and even that, she forgave me, I would've pushed her right back if that'd been me who ended up on that floor.

I don't want to her hurt again. Be it physical or mental.

When she'd chased me nearly up the stairs that time when she'd thought I had a bloke waiting for me, the look on her face nearly broke me. I nearly caved, nearly told her there was no one but my God, how I wanted to make her pay.

I wanted to make her feel the pain of what she'd done to me and by the tears in her eyes, I'd succeeded, but the strange thing was, that as I went upstairs and sat on the bed, I felt sick. I never had that feeling before. Usually, I was sadistically pleased with myself for causing that kind of look. The look that told me I'd broken them. That they were suffering just like I was.

If I hadn't of had everything else going on in my head, I would have wanted to run down the stairs, grab Vanessa and tell her that I lied and that I wanted her and no one else. Maybe if I found myself in that situation again (hopefully not) I might just do that.

She's changed me and I can't say that I hate it because I don't.

I mean, I'm still me. I've still got that fire in me that is willing to come forward whenever I need it to. I suppose Ness has just tamed it a little. Made me a little softer in some respects.

I've never said it, never had the guts to but maybe one day, when she comes through that door and gives me that bright smile that I know I'll never get tired of, I won't be able to stop myself from leaping over the bar, grab hold of her and tell her that I love her and thanks to her, I don't think I'll ever stop.

No one comes close to her and no one ever will again.

Author's Note- Wow that was gushy! Hehe.

Hope you liked it though. It's amazing what you keep locked up inside and it all gets revealed in writing in the end, well that's my process anyway ;)

Reviews are appreciated, it lets me know I'm doing something right and I love reading what you guys think :)

Thank you for reading x