Lithium

Type of story: songfic, based off of the song by evanescence.

Rating: M

Themes: Angst and Romance (one-sided)

Pairing: Akabane and Kazuki

Notes: this is a story that contains very angsty themes, not intended for the weak hearted. There is also character death…maybe.

Summary: Kazuki finds himself falling for the Jackal. What happens when he gets his hands on the threadmaster, and tries to torture him out of his feelings?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Getbackers. I've only seen the first season, and that is only because my friend owns it.

Ch.1: Musings.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside

Kazuki was walking through the streets. He had no idea where he was going, or what he was going to do when he got there. He wasn't even paying attention to where he was going. All that was on his mind was him. The Jackal. Akabane Kuroudo. The one who's sadistic pleasures had somehow gone from making him squeamish, to making him want to kiss him. Enjoy him. And, most of all, partake in the pleasures, just to feel closer to him.

But he knew he couldn't.

He couldn't risk upsetting Ginji-san. He couldn't risk Ban-chan's wrath. He couldn't risk that. And, most of all, he couldn't risk Jackal finding out about his love for him. It could and would be disastrous. He could just see the look of disgust in his eyes. He could see the one he cared so much about looking with contempt upon him. He could even see his own death at the hands of the man he's become so fond of.

He could hear it now, the phrase: "Just because you look like a girl, doesn't mean I'm going to treat you like my woman." And the phrase: "Freak. I knew you looked like a woman, but I didn't think you had desires like one as well." He'd heard them all before in his lifetime, and it would kill him to hear these phrases from the man he loved. From any person he was fond of. But, mainly, from Akabane. It would kill him.

Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without…

Kazuki was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice that he was walking right towards the person he was thinking about. Akabane figured he'd give him time to notice him, and just stood where he was. When Kazuki never looked up, however, he knew he was going to be hit, so decided to knock the boy over.

He stood firm in his place, and caused the boy to bounce off of his chest, and backwards, onto the ground.

Kazuki looked up, and immediately looked back down, a blush on his face. "S-sorry Mr. Jackal." He stutters. "I guess I should have been paying attention to where I was walking."

"Yes, I guess you should have been, but I won't hold it against you, if you answer one question for me. But not here, no, not here, come with me, and we will see what answers we get, hmm?" The Jackal drawls out in his sultry, sophisticated voice. Kazuki couldn't help but be intrigued, and he couldn't help but oblige. He took the offered hand, and stood up, with assistance, and was led to a car, his eyes still down cast.

All he could make of the car was that it was dark. He couldn't tell if it was blue, black, purple, or all of the above. It was shiny, and it let him look at Akabane without having to look at him. 'What are you so worried for? It's not like he'd automatically think you a pervert if you just look him in the eye when you answer.' But, that was the problem. He'd have to be able to get a word out of his mouth to answer. He could already feel the dry, itchy lump in his throat, and he knew he was in for it. Even before he even got into the car.

Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.

The door was opened for him, and he climbed in, still not looking up. He was shocked when the Jackal reached over him, and buckled his seatbelt. Seemingly sensing this shock, Jackal replies "Wouldn't want you to injure yourself now would we, Kazuki-san." And then closes the door.

He walked around to his side of the car, and climbs on. He fastens himself into the car. He starts the engine. He starts to drive down the street. All the while, Kazuki had not once looked up from his lap. He didn't see them leave the market place. He didn't see them leave the limitless fortress. He didn't see them drive past the Honky Tonk. He didn't see them get onto the highway. He didn't see the beautiful view of the ocean, or the beautiful color of the moon. He didn't see the Mansion looming in the distance, and air of gloom looming around it, and in the air. He hadn't even seen the time, or that the sun would be coming up.

He should have paid attention, as this would be his only help to keep his sanity in the days to come.

Oh, but God, I want to let it go.

-----oOoOo-----

next time:

ch.2: You can't make me not love you, no matter how much you try.

"Now, Kazuki-san. What had you so preoccupied that you ran into me?" the Jackal questions, now that he was strapped into the machine.

"I was…just…preoccupied. I was thinking about Mr. Ginji and Mr. Ban, and wishing that I had a friendship like that." The threadmaster replied, hoping that it was believable.

"Hmm…" the other replied, turning his back, only to come back around and back hand the threadmaster hardly across the face, leaving four identical scratches where his knives had been. "Don't lie to me again, Mr. Kazuki, if you'd be so kind. I would hate to have to kill you before my fun was up."

'Damn! Why did he have to be so cool all of the time?' the threadmaster thinks.

"Okay… I…I…I was thinking about you, Jackal-san." The threadmaster finally gets out.

"Hmm…and what where you thinking about me, threadmaster?" the Jackal inquires.

"I was…thinking about…how I…Like you." Kazuki cringed, expecting a blow. It never came, but what came next shattered his world.

"I don't love you back, Threadmaster. And I can think of a way to make you not love me, as well."

Boy did the Jackal not know how wrong he was.