Author's note: So... I've been neglecting this account for such a long time and this story has been sitting around on my computer for ages, so I thought, why not put it out there? Maybe some poor soul still has an eye out for my stories. This is the first and only XS story I've written, and I'm quite fond of it. It was originally supposed to be smutty, but instead it turned out a bit angsty and (dare I say it?) romantic. Still rated M for Xanxus' bad mouth though.
In any case, if anyone reads this I hope you enjoy it, and any thoughts or constructive criticism is always welcome!
Disclaimer: I don't own Reborn! or its characters, and sadly don't make any money from this work.
Missing You
Xanxus was not in a good mood. Not that he was usually cheery or anything, but today he was particularly annoyed. He had been furious the entire day throwing a rampage as early as over breakfast, yelling about the food not being the way he wanted it and thrashing the entire dining room, before locking himself up in his bedroom, where he'd stayed for the rest of the day.
Some of the servants had tried to approach him a few times, offering, as they thought, better food, with the only result of more yelling and breaking of things, before Xanxus locked himself up again. After lunch everyone had given up on getting near him and all safely kept their distance.
The reason for Xanxus' annoyance, however, had nothing to do with food. In fact it was all the fault of his lousy, good-for-nothing second in command, Squalo. The man in question had been sent out on a mission the previous week and should have been back the day before.
He wasn't.
And not only was he late, that in itself not being too rare, but he had not reported anything back to Xanxus all week. Now that was very odd. Whenever Squalo did get delayed, he always got in touch to inform his boss of the fact, if only to avoid a wine bottle to the head when he got back. But not now. Not a word the entire week, even though it was a routine mission – go in, kill everyone in sight and return. Shouldn't take long and definitely not over a week.
It had now been fourteen days since Squalo left. Fourteen days without someone to throw things at, argue with, boss around. Fourteen days without someone to fuck senseless when he felt like it. Fourteen fucking days without that annoyingly loud shark around.
Needless to say, Xanxus was annoyed. Because as obnoxious as Squalo was, he still had some good uses, not the least of which was his strength as a good fighter. And Xanxus wanted him back now. There were other missions to finish, reports to fill in and, really, who was supposed to look after the rest of the noisy Varia when he wasn't around? Xanxus? Hardly, he did more harm than good in all of these aspects.
No, without Squalo, Xanxus felt strangely helpless. Maybe it was because the two of them had been together for so long and he'd gotten used to the other's presence, but the Varia headquarters always felt eerily quiet when the loud swordsman was gone.
Night was falling and Xanxus felt more frustrated than ever. He stayed up late drinking and staring at his phone, seriously considering calling Squalo and asking him just where the bloody hell he was. But Xanxus refused to let the shark know that he actually gave a damn and calling at the wrong time could jeopardise the mission, so the phone stayed where it was.
When midnight came around Xanxus thought he was going mad. He could think of nothing but the stupid shark and what he would do to him when he returned. Ifhereturns... No! Of course he'll return, he's strong as fuck! There's no way he could go and get himself killed on a standard mission like this. And it wasn't like he cared if he did anyway.
Yet for some reason Xanxus could not go to sleep.
When the clock turned one, Xanxus gave up on sleep altogether and started pacing the halls of the great Varia mansion. He could not understand where the fuck Squalo had gone to and why he hadn't been in touch, unless something had gone seriously wrong. He stopped dead in his tracks as a shiver ran down his spine, but he quickly dismissed it as the cold affecting him and kept walking.
It wasn't until many minutes later that he stopped and realised where his feet had unconsciously taken him. Fuck.
He entered Squalo's room and closed the door behind him, taking in the familiar scenery. It was a rather large room, but smaller than Xanxus' own bedroom and much more welcoming. He'd always liked it better than his own. He paced back and forth for a while and then collapsed on the large bed in the centre of the room.
He lay staring at the ceiling and tried to push the panic rising in his chest away. Whatthefuckareyouallworkedupaboutanyway?Sincewhendoyoucareaboutthatpieceoftrash?
Since the moment they first locked eyes, really.
Xanxus must have fallen asleep, because he woke up from the door opening and then closing. He heard the sound of boots against the soft carpet and then a heavy thud. He sat up and surveyed the room, quickly noticing the slumping form against the door.
"Squalo?"
Squalo's head jerked up in surprise as he noticed his boss sitting there on the bed.
"Xanxus? What the fuck are you doing in my room?"
His voice was barely above a whisper and he coughed, spitting out blood on the carpet before slumping further down on the floor. Xanxus was next to him in one swift movement, carefully examining his wounds. Since when did he care so damned much?
"You're a mess."
It was a statement, harsh and cold, like only Xanxus could say it, but Squalo was too weak to really give a damn. He could feel rough hands moving carefully over his body trying to estimate the damage. After a while Xanxus spoke again.
"You need to see a doctor."
Squalo snorted.
"No shit."
Then he promptly coughed up more blood.
"Be quiet you idiot! You're just making it worse."
Xanxus' tone was much more harsh than usual, something Squalo had long since learned that the other man used to cover up his insecurities. In other words, Xanxus was worried about him, something he probably wouldn't admit even on his deathbed. It made Squalo smile a little, but he held his tongue, letting the other man pretend not to fret as he called for a medic.
Several hours later, Squalo was patched up reasonably well and lying in his bed, Xanxus lying next to him, one hand absentmindedly playing with his long hair, an arm draped carefully over his injured chest. When he spoke, Xanxus' voice was barely above a whisper.
"So what went wrong?"
Squalo huffed.
"Everything."
"That why you didn't get in touch?"
"Mm."
Squalo didn't feel like talking, he just wanted to rest, the hand in his hair slowly lulling him to sleep. Xanxus sighed and glared at the ceiling.
"And here I thought I would get a nice good fuck when you got back."
Squalo chuckled a little at that comment and Xanxus turned to glare at him instead.
"What? What's so fucking funny you piece of trash?"
"Nothing. I just figured I'll have to make it up to you once I've healed."
"Damned right you will!"
They both fell silent and Squalo started drifting off to sleep, smile still on his face. Xanxus could pretend not to care all he liked, but to Squalo it was so obvious that he did. And that was a very comforting thought to fall asleep with.
Xanxus stayed awake even after Squalo started snoring softly. The shark hadn't told him anything about the mission, but judging from the state he was in, it must have been hellishly bad. It made Xanxus a little panicky to know how close he'd come to losing the other man. Not that he cared or anything. But it was always nice to have someone there to take out his frustration on. Or share a bed with.
Or just watching him sleep after a rough mission. Yeah.
Because Xanxus could never care about a worthless piece of trash like him. Even if it was very nice to fall asleep in his bed, holding him close and thanking any god that was listening for keeping him alive.
Yeah. Very nice indeed.
-End-