A Nautilus Production.
By Capt. Nemo
Okay folks, I was inspired to write this after reading another fanfic like this. So here it is.
Things that you would NEVER see in NGE
I don't own any of this.
Gendo: I love you son.
Shinji: I love you father
(Both embrace each other in a hug and start to cry)
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(During EoE, Assult on NERV)
Maya: I don't want to die a virgin.
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Inside NERV
Kaji: I love you Asuka.
Asuka: Get away form me you man slut!
(Asuka procedes to kick Kaji in the balls.)
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Akagi: Gendo, because of you, I have decided to become a lesbian.
Gendo: But, Why?
Akagi: Because Maya's better then you.
Gendo: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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The apartment
Asuka: Shinji
Shinji: Asuka
Both start makeing out on the floor while Misato waves victory fans.
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Control Room
Maya: Commander, Eva'a 01 and 02 have gone berserk.
Gendo: What are they doing?
Maya: They seem to be playing chess with the techs.
Gendo: Start a betting pool and put me down for fifty dollers on 01.
Bridge crew blinks in shock.
Gendo: Nobody beats her in chess.
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(During EoE, Assult on NERV)
Maya: Say hello to my little friend.
Pulls out Minnie gun and hoses the JSSDF troops.
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Misato: I think I'll drive the speed limit today.
Shinji finds him self infront on the crucified Lilith
Lilith: Shinji, I am your mother.
Shinji: WHAT????
Lilith: Its true, Yui Ikari was my human form, and that makes Rei your full sister.
Shinji: Does this mean that I'm an angle?
Lilith/Yui: Yes it does, now I will teach you how to use your new found abilities.
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Gendo: It is almost time to take me to my Yui's side.
Rei: No
Gendo: WHY?
Rei: Because I don't like you.
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Misato: I think I'll give up on drinking
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Akagi: Maya, my love
Maya: I'm sorry Dr. Akagi, but I dont swing that way.
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The Apartment
Shinji: I have enough of this, you two can clean up yourselves. I am sick and tired of cleaning this place up, only have you two destroy it again.
Misato and Asuka just stand there, Shocked.
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Rei: Gendo You A-Hole
Everyone stares in shock
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Command Bridge
Misato: Shinji, what are you doing?
Shinji: I found a way to avoid turning in that 150 page essay on second impact thats due tomorrow.
Misato: So thats why your destroying the school.
Asuka: Hey, save some for me.
End
Okay folks, Thats it for today. I wrote this in a span of about 3 hours. I'll try to have some more later on.
Until next time
Keep your stick on the ice.