When Craig eventually made his way back home in a haze of grief and exhaustion, he found Carl waiting for him. For a moment they just looked at each other.

Carl, unable to cope with the silence summoned his nerve in the usual guise of cocky indifference and drawled;" So you went to him then"

"Yes, replied Craig bleakly.

"And now you've got confirmation from the beloved one's mouth I guess you believe me?"

"Yes," repeated Craig. That was all.

"Look Craig," began Carl

"I don't want to talk about it Carl, OK, I'm worn out and I'm going to bed." And he turned towards the stairs.

Carl nodded. Perplexed and a little alarmed at the genuine indifference in his lover's tone. " I suppose you want me to go."

Craig opened his mouth to agree but before he could get the words out he realised that he simply couldn't bear to be alone that night. Of all the people in the world to choose for companionship this man should be the last. Nevertheless he found himself saying: "You can stay if you want, but you'll forgive me if I'm not in the mood for any high jinks..

"Anyway," he added. "I don't doubt you're more than a little tired yourself."

Somewhere at the back of his mind he wondered if this was to be the future, him becoming more bitter and caustic with his remarks, trying to hurt people who had hurt him. He found he didn't care at the moment.

As they lay side by side and worlds apart. Carl, never one to let things go, tried again. "Look Craig ," -Craig was dimly aware that for once Craig was consistently using his name, rather his usual semi sarcastic endearments.

"I know that was a shitty thing to do, I know I'm a bastard a shit stirrer, a moral bloody void. But I didn't actually do it to hurt you ." Craig could only give a snort of disgust.

"I mean it, it's just been - hard for me - to watch your ongoing infatuation with that kid, I wanted you to realise that's what he is, a kid who can't make up his mind, he's got no strength of character Craig. I know he's got a reputation for big boy tactics on the front line or whatever you call it, but at the end of the day there's nothing to him but his pretty face and his mass of childish conflicts that he covers up with his lies. "

He could feel Craig's body beside him tauten. "I thought I said I didn't want to talk about it. Especially when you don't know what the Hell you're actually talking about," he snarled. As bitterly as he hated Luke at that moment, he would sooner stick pins in his eyes than listen to him being slagged off by anyone. Particularly Carl who could hardly boast he was exactly the model of mature self realisation. His own mind swirled and eddied in turmoil.

s

"You're forgetting I've know him a lot longer than you sweetheart," said Carl, emboldened now that he was at last getting some sort of reaction. The one thing his nature could not abide was stoical acceptance of his outrages. "The guy's a weed. He can't face up to anything, Even at school everyone knew…." He got no further. Craig turned and grabbed him by the shoulders. Shook him.

"For the THIRD fucking time, I don't want to talk about it. If you can't shut up then yes, you'd better go." He flung himself on his back once again.

Carl suddenly felt as desolate as the man lying beside him in his loneliness.. With one of the astonishing volte-faces common to his nature he dropped the sneering tone and said quietly,'I'm sorry Craig. Truly sorry ."

"I know," replied Craig flatly.

Carl leaned over and kissed him gently, almost shyly,"

"So do you think you can ever forgive me?

"Yes Carl, given time. Let's just forget about it and start again shall we? Now let's go to sleep," he turned on his side.

As always unable to resist pushing it that one step further Carl said: "And I suppose you've already forgiven him?

"No, said Craig unthinkingly. "Never him."

And that told Carl everything he needed to know.

ends