Disclaimer: A. Shikamaru and Kakashi are cool. B. The author is cool. C. I am not cool. D. That means I don't own them, but I freely give Sasuke up to the highest bidder.
Essence of Kakashi
No one knows when exactly Shikamaru became a sex idol. It just happened, that's all Konoha knew. One day, Sasuke noticed it had become much easier to open his door in the mornings. Without the added pressure of a hundred ecstatically screaming girls, the door swung open quite easily. Only half of the usual amount of fangirls greeted him this morning, the next day only a third were there, then a fourth, then only ten, and finally there were no survivors from the horde that had once been.
Sasuke was confused, and wondered where they all could have gone, but he wasn't going to stoop to asking his tag-a-longs anything. So he grabbed his ninja gear and set out to meet his team for morning training.
Sakura was acting different too. She wasn't being annoying at all; there were no pestering questions or attempts to ask him out. Instead she had her whole mind focused on training. It was surprising how good a ninja Sakura actually was, when she wasn't distracted with trying to catch his attention. By the end of training Sasuke had worked up a sweat, something that never happened in training unless he was sparring with Kakashi-sensei.
Now Sasuke was very confused—first gobs of giggling girls stopped following him wherever he went, then Sakura acted as if she had lost all interest in him. What was going on?
Naruto jogged him out of his musings by shouting out, "Hey look! It's Shikamaru, he sure is running fast."
Before Sasuke could even look up, Shikamaru had him by the shoulders. "You have to take them back!" Sasuke was surprised by how frantic the usually uncaring genin appeared. Looking over his shoulder, Shikamaru saw something that caused his eyes to widen. "Gagh! Here they come. Women are so troublesome!" Then he was gone, running as fast as he possibly could. Soon the sound of stampeding feet and high-pitched voices could be heard. All of Sasuke's old fangirls were hot in pursuit of Shikamaru! Of course Naruto had to say something stupid.
"Wow. When did Shikamaru become so popular?" Sasuke slapped the baka upside the head, just 'cause, then went home.
Lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, Sasuke tried to make sense of things. Sasuke, a Uchiha, and therefore perfect, was alone. While Shikamaru, lazy and unambitious, was being mobbed by more girls than it seemed physically possible for Konoha to support. Something wasn't right, and Sasuke was going to figure out this mystery.
A/N: It took forever to finish this story. It must have been on my computer for three months at least! Any hoo, enough ranting from me--proceed to chapter two.