Futurama
Send in the Fries
Announcer: Futurama is brought to you by...
Cut to Richard Nixon's head with "Hippie Repellent".
Announcer: Hippie Repellent! Really useful at Woodstock.
Richard Nixon's Head: I recommend it, ALROO!
Opening credits.
Caption: Professor Farnsworth's Glasses Provided By Old People of America.
Giant Screen: Mr. Jinks chases Pixie & Dixie.
Cut to Planet Express office. The whole gang are gathered as the Professor has a new invention on the tabled covered up by a cloth.
Professor Farnsworth: I suppose you're asking why you are all here.
Amy: Well, guh!
Hermes: Hubba banana.
Fry: Yeah.
Leela: What is it?
Bender: WHAT'S THE DAMN THING!
Scruffy: Scruffy already know what's there.
Leela: What is it?
Scruffy: I'm on toilet break.
Scruffy walks over to the bathroom.
Dr. Zoidberg: What's with the invention already?
Amy: Yeah! Show us!
Professor Farnsworth: It's my latest invention...
Bender: Less hyping, more yping!
Fry: Yping?
Bender: It's in the Official Robot Dictionary.
Bender grabs out a disc.
Bender: It's great.
Professor Farnsworth: Without fewer a do!
Amy: God, it feels like forever...
Professor Farnsworth: My latest invention!
Hermes: Hurry up, your slower then a jerker being jerked on Xmas!
Professor Farnsworth: BEHOLD! A FAST FOOD MAKE-CLONER!
Professor Farnsworth grabs the sheet and reveals a grey machine with electrical-antennas attached to each other.
Leela: Let me axe you something.
Professor Farnsworth: Yes.
Leela: What does it do?
Professor Farnsworth: It turns people into the food item it rhymes with and clones it as well! I made it a few minutes ago. Pretty neat, huh?
Leela: Why would we need this, Professor?
Professor Farnsworth: Because, you need to deliver this to Fishy Joe's! Ever since Mega McDonalds moved in next door, business has been going down, so Fishy Joe himself told me to create a machine that will make food and clone it too.
Leela: So, do we go now?
Fry: Yeah.
Professor Farnsworth: Go already! I already said that, go already...you're wasting precious time! GO! GGRRRRR! I'm going back to the Angry Dome!
The Professor walks off. Scruffy enters.
Scruffy: It's a Fast Food Make-Cloner.
Pause.
Hermes: Well duh.
Amy: Were you where you?
Leela: Ugh.
Bender: Dumbass.
Fry: Leave the guy alone, his a janitor.
Scruffy: Oh, Scruffy gone bye-bye.
Scruffy walks off.
Bender: Idiot.
Cut to the Launching Base.
Leela: Okay guys; let's go to Fishy Joe's.
Fry: Why?
Bender: Yeah, why?
Leela: Because, we have to. Now move it, before I move it for you.
Fry: How do you attend to do that?
Leela: By whopping your sorry ass!
Leela kicks Fry, which sends him off flying.
Bender: You can't kick me Leela; I'm made out of metal.
Leela: I'll say those binary numbers which freak you out and make you explode.
Bender: And then Bender ran!
Bender runs off.
Leela: Pft, men.
Cut to the Planet Express ship. Leela enters and see Bender & Fry sitting up front. Leela grabs the Make-Cloner from her jacket and lays it on the control panels. Leela then chucks her jacket at Fry, and he misses it. Embarrassed, Fry picks it up quickly. Leela then sits down.
Leela: Okay, time to go!
Leela starts the ship up.
Leela: It won't start!
Bender: All it needs is a little lovin'.
Bender grabs his arm and wacks the control panels with it.
Bender: It's going to take awhile.
Leela: Ugh.
Fry: Hey, did you see that monkey fight last night. Wow, robot monkey drugs! What a cheater!
Bender: Okay, done.
Leela: Finally.
Fry: Loved those Fighting Mongooses.
The ship flies off. Professor Farnsworth is pacing back and forth in the angry dome.
Professor Farnsworth: Those idiots tired of hearing!
Cut to the skies, as the Planet Express ship lands to Fishy Joe's, the ship takes up 5 disabled spots, and it is parked sideways, not forward. Leela, Fry & Bender (with his right arm still off) enter, Leela has the Clone-Maker. Cut to inside. Teenager Robot who works at the theatres from "Raging Bender" is at the counter
Teenager Robot: Okay, time to order.
Leela: We're here to drop this off.
Leela pulls out the Make-Cloner.
Teenager Robot: Wow! That's what dreams are made of! Mr. Gilman, the Make-Cloner has arrived!
Fishy Joe: I'll be right there!
Fishy Joe from "The Problem With Popplers" enters in his casual suit, not the pirate one.
Fishy Joe: Hi, I'm Joe Gilman, you can call me Fishy Joe.
Leela: How about just Joe?
Fishy Joe: I'll take that.
Fry: So, nice little complex going here.
Fishy Joe: Business has been lowering since that Poppler fiasco, you little lady can come with me to see how the fast food is made.
Leela looks at Fry, then Bender and then walks off with Fishy Joe.
Fry: Yeeeeeeeeah.
Teenager Robot: No talking to this point.
Bender: Oh.
Teenager Robot: I said no talking!
Cut to the Conveyor room. Joe grabs the Fast Food Make-Cloner and lays it on the conveyor belt.
Leela: So, you're not just a seafood restaurant.
Fishy Joe: That's right.
The conveyor belt pushes the invention off, then when it comes out millions of fast food products come out.
Fishy Joe: Okay, that'll be enough for the whole year.
Joe thrusts his hands.
Fishy Joe: So, want to go out tonight?
Leela: I have to go now.
Fishy Joe: Need your thing-ma-jig?
Leela: No, it's yours.
Fishy Joe: Nope, I cloned a second one.
Fishy Joe grabs out another Make-Cloner.
Fishy Joe: C'mon, it's yours.
Leela: Oh, okay...sure.
Leela grabs it, then backs away, then finally runs off.
Teenager Robot: And that's why I want to deactivate myself.
Fry: It's cool, G.
Bender: See.
Fry: G.
Leela runs through the door.
Leela: Fry, Bender...it's time to go!
Leela runs, and then grabs Fry by the collar.
Bender: That's okay, I'll stay here. Talk to my new friend.
Teenager Robot: NOOOOOO!
Teenager Robot pushes Bender off. Cut outside, As Leela and Fry enter the ship; Teenager Robot continues pushing Bender, then throws him into the ship.
Bender: Then came Bender.
Cut to the ship.
Fry: Where's Bender?
Bender crashes through the windows, and then lands on Fry.
Bender: Oh, that's good.
Fry crawls out, then stands back up.
Fry: Uh, that hurt.
Bender: Leela, why would you want to leave in the first place?
Leela: Fishy Joe asked me out, and his fatness and his greasy hair and bad moustache just freaked me out.
Fry: Did you charge him?
Leela: No. And who cares?
Cut to outside. The ship then flies off.
Fishy Joe: They'll be back; they forgot to charge me...
Dramatic chord.
Teenager Robot: Uh, I quit.
Teenager Robot walks off. Cut to the Planet Express lounge. Fry, Bender & Leela are watching an ape fight on TV.
Commentator: WOW! King Kong just beat Donkey Kong! Oh wait, Donkey Kong is back, and he strikes a blow with his barrel move and King Kong is down, Battles of the Kong on the Celebrity Ape Fight will be back after these messages.
The Professor enters.
Professor Farnsworth: OH! You're back. Did you charge him?
Leela: No.
Professor Farnsworth: WHAT! I'm going back to my Angry Dome, and I'm not coming back until you do!
The Professor walks off.
Leela: Eh, let's go.
Fry: Uh, I want to see who wins!
Leela: Donkey Kong, happy now?
Fry: No.
Fry sheds a tear. Cut to the skies, the Planet Express ship flies, then lands near Fishy Joe's. Leela comes out.
Leela: You don't do anything now to screw something up.
Fry:(V.O): We won't!
Leela: Time to pay up Joe.
Fishy Joe: I will, my wallet is in my office.
Fishy Joe walks off. Cut to the ship. Bender & Fry are staring at the Fast Food Make-Cloner.
Bender: Heh, heh, heh.
Fry: What should we do to screw something up?
Bender: How about, we fool around with this thingy-ma-jig!
Fry: Yeah, okay!
Bender: Yeah...yoink!
Bender pushes Fry, his hand lands in the Fast Food Clone-Maker and a bolt of electricity comes over Fry.
Bender: Oh...your...God.
The electricity spark stops, and the camera focuses on Bender. Bender's eyes fall out.
Bender: Whoa! That's...weird.
Bender snatches Fry's wallet.
Bender: And that's what I meant by..."yoink".
Bender grabs his eyes and pops them back in.
Cut outside. Leela enters with a 1000 dollar bill with Teddy Roosevelt's face.
Teddy: Ugh, this is demeaning to both of us.
Leela enters, and then has a shocked look on her face.
Leela: WHOA! What happened to you Fry?
Fry: What?
Cut to a shot of Fry as a French-Fries packet, and millions of other clones of Fry like that.
Fry: What?
Cut to the conference room. The gang is lining up, as the Professor is examining Fry.
Professor Farnsworth: Hm, Fry seems to have cloned himself in my Fast Food Make-Cloner, and it made Fry to a packet of French Fries.
Amy: Well, guh.
Professor Farnsworth: I TOLD YOU NOT TO MESS AROUND IN THAT!
Fry: No you didn't.
Professor Farnsworth: Will I should've!
The Professor then walks off.
Professor Farnsworth: I'll be in the Angry Dome.
Bender:(V.O): You do that.
Cut to commercial. Cut to an exterior shot of Planet Express. Cut to the lounge, Hermes, Leela, Amy, Scruffy, Dr. Zoidberg, Nibbler and Bender are staring at Fry.
Fry: Stop staring at me!
Hermes: This is odd, mighty odd.
Scruffy: Scruffy gone want a taste.
Fry: No, technically that's my manhood!
Bender: Who would've known that Fry will turn into a bunch of French Fries?
Hermes: I did, you own me Zoidberg, my money back.
Dr. Zoidberg: Ugh.
Dr. Zoidberg hands Hermes some money.
Nibbler: Nibble a nibble, a nibble, na-na-na.
Amy: I reckon Fry looks cute.
Leela: I told you not to mess around, and guess what.
Fry: I did.
Leela: YOU DID! And now you're a freak.
Fry: Huh?
Leela: A freak, a freak, a freak, a freak!
Fry: Slow motion please?
Leela:(in slow motion): FREEEEEEEEAK!
Amy: You need your nasal pass checked out.
Leela punches Amy.
Amy: UGH!
Dr. Zoidberg: Where are the clones already?
Fry: There are in the shower.
Cut to the shower, as all the clones are clogged up in the shower, stuck. Cut back to the lounge.
Fry: And no eating them!
Dr. Zoidberg: Eating is what I live for!
Fry: NO!
Dr. Zoidberg: OH...okay.
Dr. Zoidberg hobbles off.
Fry: I'm going home.
Cut to the Robot Arms Apt.
Fry: Eh, being a packet of fast food ain't that bad.
Bender walks in with his blue and white striped pants on from "Parasites Lost" and some other episodes.
Bender: It is if you attended Bending College, all of the up-and-coming benders attended there. Flexo, that chick I went out with, Hookerbot.
Fry: But she's a hooker?
Bender: I know, she failed. Also I attended, me Bender.
Fry: So why did she fail?
Bender: Her circuits got clogged up by rust, and she faced a meltdown which deformed her into a freak, until she got metal surgery to become a hooker. So, the moral of the story is, don't be a freak!
Bender walks off.
Fry: I'm cool with it, I can eat myself.
Fry picks off some of the fry and eats it.
Fry: OW!
Fry picks some more, and eats it.
Fry: OW!
Cut to the conference room. The Professor is sitting down, Scruffy is down, Amy is putting on lipstick, Bender is putting his arm back on, and Fry is continuing to pick himself.
Fry: OW!
Professor Farnsworth: After spending a day in the Angry Dome, I've came to a solution, Fry can't work here no more.
Leela enters.
Leela: Fry, I was thinking about what I said last night, and I was wrong to call you a freak. I'm sorry.
Professor Farnsworth: WE CAN'T HAVE A BUNCH OF FRIES WORKING ON OUR TEAM! HIS A STUPID FREAK!
Leela: Professor!
Professor Farnsworth: What I meant to say was, ahem! You're a freak Fry, and you're fired.
Fry: What?
Leela: Why, I apologize to you Fry.
Fry: Accepted.
Fry stands up.
Fry: I bet there's some work for a guy like me.
Fry walks off, sadly.
Fry: You can eat my clones if you want.
Professor Farnsworth: Who wants fries tonight?
Professor gets a bib out and puts it around his neck and drools all over it. Cut outside, as Fry is walking out sadly, Leela runs out.
Leela: FRY!
Fry: Leela?
Leela: I know what it's like to be an outcast.
Fry: I know, you have that eye thing.
Leela: Yeah, it was no right of the Professor to fire you like that just because you turned to a packet of French fries.
Fry: Ugh, I don't mind, I'm a bunch of fries, I'll live with it.
Fry walks off.
Leela: Goodbye Fry.
Fry: Not goodbye, smell you later.
Fry leaves. Dramatic music plays.
Leela: Smell you later.
Pause. Dramatic music stops.
Leela: I don't smell!
Cut to the Mega McDonalds. Fry is talking with the Teenager Robot in the Drive Thru.
Fry: Hey, aren't you that same guy that works next door?
Teenager Robot: I quit, okay.
Fry: Oh, yeah, um,...can I please be your mascot?
Teenager Robot: No can do, already got three mascots.
Cut to Aqua Teen Hunger Force's Master Shake, Frylock and Meatwad. Cut back to the Drive Thru.
Teenager Robot: Kids love them.
Fry: I thought they worked at the Burger Trench?
Teenager Robot: Burger Trench, oh that place was so old, we revamped it. Also, these guys are like 1000 years old!
Master Shake:(V.O): HEY!
Teenager Robot: Yeah, yeah.
Fry: I see I'm not needed here.
Teenager Robot: Go next door, they need a cashier.
Cut to Fishy Joe's. Fry is inside talking to Fishy Joe.
Fishy Joe: Eh, welcome to Fishy Joe's.
Fry: Mr. Fishy, I want to know if you need a mascot.
Fishy Joe: Not really, but okay.
Pause.
Fishy Joe: It's Mr. Gilman.
Cut to Planet Express.
Professor Farnsworth: Okay, here's how it goes. Scruffy is delivery boy, Hermes is now janitor and Amy is the accountant.
Pause.
Scruffy: Scruffy like the sound of that.
Leela: Professor, why did you need to fire Fry?
Professor Farnsworth: Because, he'll scare off people. I'm surprised I haven't fired you yet! GO! BEFORE I DO FIRE YOU!
Leela, Bender and Scruffy run off.
Hermes: So, I'm a janitor?
Amy: And I'm Hermes?
Dr. Zoidberg: What about poor ol' Zoidberg? He needs attention!
Hermes: No you don't.
Dr. Zoidberg: Yes Mr. Janitor, sir.
Cut to Fishy Joe's. Fry is shaking a cowbell, and is wearing a piece of cardboard reading: "FISHY JOE'S" and the back says: "HELLA BETTER THEN NEXT DOOR!"
Fry: Come to Fishy Joe's, come to Fishy Joe's.
A blonde haired woman holding a little girl's hand walks by.
Little Girl: Mommy! Mommy! Let's go to Fishy Joe's!
Fry: It's hella better then next door!
Blonde Haired Woman: I don't like the swearing, but he is funny!
A group of people gather.
Randy: Poor guy.
Sal: Let's go to support the homeless freak.
Mom: Oh, dearies, let's go to Fishy Joe's.
Walt: Okay Mommy.
Mom slaps Walt.
Mom: SHUT UP!
Ignar: Eh.
The Civil Defence truck-robot from "Crimes of the Hot" drives by.
Civil Defence Truck Robot: Everybody, go to Fishy Joe's!
Everyone else gathers around and rushes into Fishy Joes'.
Hettie: Poor guy.
Professor Wernstrum: I don't like Fishy Joe, but they got a desperate loser from beyond the sewers to embarrass himself, and that's good enough for me!
Cut to inside. Cash registers are going off as a happy Joe gleams with happiness.
Fishy Joe: I can't believe it!
Hettie: Mm, I want a sesame-seed burger with extra fries, and don't skip on the sauce!
The cat meows.
Hettie: And my pretty kitty that smells good wants hers with the secret sauce.
Fishy Joe: Business is booming...
The shot goes out, and reveals it's a mortise on the news show.
Linda: Those were the words today, as business boomed over at Fishy Joe's.
Morbo: As some will remember...
Cut to shots from "The Problem With Popplers" on the mortise, including the alien spaceships arriving, the arena where the aliens were going to eat Leela, and the shot of Leela stuffing herself in popplers.
Morbo: The Human race faced certain doom when humanite Turanga Leela discovered the Poppler, sold them for minimum wage, and sold the rights to Fishy Joe's, which caused a fiasco which then made the aliens cause the demise of the Human species, muhahahahahahahahhaa.
Linda: Ha, ha, ha, ha...that's Morbo.
Morbo: Too bad it never happened...I WILL DESTROY YOU!
Linda: See Morbo interview Hollywood actress Debbie in the 11 o'clock edition, as I'll be naked.
Morbo: Eh, so will I.
Linda: I don't think so Morbo.
Morbo: ON MY HOME PLANET NIC-PAL17, I RULE WITH MY BEAUTY!
Linda: You wish Morbo.
Cut to the Planet Express gang watching it.
Leela: So Fry got a really demeaning job?
Professor Farnsworth: I don't care.
Leela: His your uncle, you should care.
Professor Farnsworth: I SHOULD, DAMNIT!
The Professor walks off.
Amy: Fry's a mascot.
Hermes: Ha, ha, ha.
Linda: We'll be back after these messages from Fishy Joe's.
Cut to Fry sitting down on a chair.
Fry: Fishy Joe, seafood and junk food, it's a potent combination of both! And I don't even know what that means! Go to Fishy Joe's, because now I'm confused.
Cut to a shot of Fishy Joe.
Fry:(V.O): Go to Fishy Joe's, before...uh, he dies.
Cut to the news set.
Morbo: That Human is stupid.
Linda: Ha, ha...takes all kinds.
Cut to Fry driving in a Fishy Joe-themed car as the URL is sleeping, he then reboots and drives off to pull Fry over, Fry stops.
Fry: What's the problem officer?
URL: You went over the speed limit.
Fry: Yeah.
URL: Hey, you're that Fishy Joe's guy.
Fry: You saw my promotional ad.
URL: You're under arrest!
URL handcuffs Fry. Dramatic chord.
Fry: Uh, couldn't we settle over brunch?
URL: No.
Fry: Ugh.
Dramatic chord. Cut to commercial. Cut to New New York Jail.
Human Officer: Ugh, we are leaving you in jail!
Fry: Why?
URL enters.
URL: Okay, Fishy Joe paid bail, but you cannot set foot on the surface ever again!
Fry: Why?
Human Officer: Look in the mirror French Fries.
URL: Yeah, freak.
Fry: Freak...I'M SICK OF EVERYONE CALLING ME A FREAK!
URL: Well, you are.
Fry: Ugh, it's true.
Fry walks out of the prison. Cut to Fry with a bindle, Fry grabs out a crowbar and opens up a manhole from "Luck of the Fryrish" the one with "The PJs". Fry goes down the sewers.
Fry: I can't believe now I'm a mutant.
Cut to Leela's Parents' home. Fry is sitting on the couch with both of them.
Leela's Mom: So, you are that weird mascot guy for Fishy Joe's?
Leela's Dad: And you worked with our daughter?
Leela's Mom: STALKER!
Leela's Dad: Yeah, stalker!
Fry: I'm not a stalker! I used to be a human, but I fooled around with a machine and deformed me into this mutant!
Leela's Mom: We prefer the term "beautifully slow".
Leela's Dad: Whatever that means. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Fry: So...can I live with you?
Leela's Mom: A mysterious stranger living in our house, and he has previously stalked our daughter, and he can kill us! I don't see why not?
Leela's Dad: Me neither. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Fry: Where can I sleep?
Leela's Dad: On the couch!
Cut to Fishy Joe's.
Fishy Joe: Where's Fry, I paid bail over 30 seconds ago, the police should have teleported him 10 seconds ago!
A greasy, fat man wearing no shirt and pants (wearing boxer shorts) and is wearing flip-flops walks over to Fishy Joe.
Fishy Joe: Eh, it's Sal's Brother, Hal.
Hal: HEY! YOU LOSING BUSINESS!
Fishy Joe: I don't have a hearing problem!
Hal: Sorry, say...where's your idiotic secret mascot, Fry? Oh, his in the sewers.
Fishy Joe: The sewers?
Hal: Oh yeah, I got the New New York Post.
Hal grabs out the newspaper with the headline: "Famous Mascot Forced To Live Down Under", with the sub-headline saying: "We don't mean Australia".
Fishy Joe: How did you get the newspaper a day before it comes out?
Hal: I'm the special one...
Dramatic chord. Cut to the Sewers Gentlemen's Club, members includes Leela's Dad, the one with the three arms, the one with a big head and the leg mutant.
Fry: So, you reckon I could fit in?
Leela's Dad: Sure.
Three-Armed Mutant: Morris, nice to see you, who's this gentleman, do you have a son we never heard about?
Leela's Dad: Nope. He stalked my daughter.
Fry: I'm not a stalker...I...USED...TO...WORK WITH HER!
Leela's Dad: One more talk-back means we'll kick you out!
Big Head: Eh, who cares?
Leela's Dad: I do.
Leggy: Let's just call to the legend of El' Barto.
Leela's Dad: El' Barto was Bart Simpson.
Leggy: And I'm just a leg, shoot me in the eye why don't you?
Cut to Planet Express. The Professor is drinking coffee, reading the newspaper.
Professor Farnsworth: Uh, smells good.
The Professor then spits out the coffee.
Professor Farnsworth: FRY IS LIVING IN THE SEWERS!
Leela runs in.
Leela: FRY IS LIVING IN THE SEWERS!
Amy runs in, and slips.
Amy: Fry is a mutant?
Hermes: I pictured him as a humanoid food-product.
Bender: Poor Fry, he must be suffering!
Cut to Fry sleeping. Cut back to Planet Express.
Bender: We must save him.
Professor Farnsworth: NEVER! I invented a reversal antidote but it will suck out all the electricity because all the electrical bolts inside, and I'm not prepared to pay all those bills!
Leela: Well be prepared...HI YA!
Leela kicks the Professor, which bends him.
Professor Farnsworth: The blood is swelling in my brain...I'm feeling delirious...I feel like singing...lucky as a "Family Guy"...
Leela & Bender run out. Dr. Zoidberg enters.
Dr. Zoidberg: So, is Zoidberg lucky today?
Pause.
Dr. Zoidberg: I guess not.
Cut to the sewers, Leela & Bender rush in and slide through, Bender causes sparks.
Leela: Let's write down that the Professor says his rehired.
Bender: Can do!
Bender makes printing noises, and then prints out a paper reading: "To Fry, You're Rehired. Signed the Professor". Leela rips it out and continues running along with Bender.
Leela: C'mon!
Bender: Sure!
Cut to the Gentlemen's Club, Leela & Bender crash in.
Fry: Leela! Bender! What are you guys doing here?
Leela's Dad: Hi honey.
Leela: Hi dad.
Bender grabs the antidote and chucks it at Fry, he turns back to normal.
Fry: What was that about?
Leela: We want you back Fry, and you must be suffering as well.
Fry: Yeah.
Big Head: HEY!
Fry: No offence. It's nice to be back to normal.
Bender: It was a weird story.
Leela: Eh, at least no one is watching this, or reading about this.
The power goes off. Cut to the Planet Express.
Professor Farnsworth:(V.O): DAMN YOU LEELA AND BENDER! DAMN YOU!
End credits.