Dates: Written on 3/9/01, Edited and posted on 10/6/03. Slightly revised again on 4/10/04.
Author's Notes:
How did this whole thing come about? Well, I really don't remember all that well, since I wrote it a loooong time ago, and only recently rediscovered it knocking around my hard drive. I suppose I was inspired by the ending to Magic's Promise, where Vanyel is confronted by Death, and is asked to make a really hard choice. I wanted to see a little more of 'the Shadow Lover', and the only way to do that was to have someone else die. Since I didn't want to kill off any characters on my own, that left me with writing about a character that actually died in the books, and Stef fit my purposes perfectly.
Plus, this way I get to expand on the ending to Magic's Price which left us with such a tease on the happily-ever-after between Stef and Van, but never really got into things. Well, I suppose this fic didn't get into anything heavy either, so oh well. I'm not really sure what the mechanics are for ghosts getting together in a slashy way, and I probably would suck at writing graphic scenes anyhow. So I'll just stick with fluffiness. Yay for fluff.
Disclaimer: Vanyel, Stefan, Yfandes, the Shadow Lover, the Forest of Sorrows, etc, etc all belong to the awesome Mercedes Lackey. I make no claims on them (and Van wouldn't have me anyways since he doesn't swing that way, which is too bad, but then, isn't it true that all the hot guys are either married or gay?). I'm only borrowing them for a little while for this little ficlet, and I'm returning them in the same condition as I got them.
And now, the feature presentation...
Time: 869 A.F.
Stefen looked around at the tall trees of the Forest of Sorrows. It seemed that nothing had changed since his last visit here almost a lifetime ago. The branches swayed to and fro with the breeze, and he wondered if that was a welcome he heard in their rustling. A pair of kestrels took flight above him, bringing him bittersweet memories of younger days spent in the company of his love's Hawkbrother friends.
Again, he felt the call, a light twinge somewhere deep in his heart, prompting him onto this course that he was committed to. It was a call that he had yearned for throughout every lonely year in the past few decades, and a call that he knew that he had finally earned. Absentmindedly, Stef sent away Herald Andros and Companion Toril, who had accompanied him here from Haven, and impatiently waited for them to disappear beyond his sight. His limbs felt heavy, and not just from age. A heavy blanket seemed to have come to rest over every part of his body, and a deep calmness permeated his soul. Slowly, he sank down against a tree trunk and closed his eyes against the sunlight that filtered through the canopy. The dappled light that fell against his eyelids danced in hypnotic patterns across the back of his eyes, slowly lulling him into sleep.
/I wonder if this is Van's doing.../ Stef wondered idly as he gave in his weariness. It was the last thought that would ever cross his mind again.
When Stefan opened his eyes again, he found himself floating in a void of tranquil grey nothingness. He felt a pair of hands help him to his feet, despite the fact that there was nothing to stand on. As the hands touched him, Stef felt all of his weariness and pain flow away, as if he was shedding off the long years he had accumulated in life. Slowly, he turned around to look upon the one helping him, half expecting to see the face of his beloved Vanyel. Instead, his eyes were caught by two blazing orbs of radiant sapphire, which gleamed forth from a shadowed face. Stef froze, ensnared in the light of that otherworldly gaze. Dimly, he was aware that the Power before him was dressed in Herald Whites, and was calmly waiting for him to return to his wits.
Memory stirred in Stef's mind -- a tale Vanyel had told of a time long before they had met, when Van had stood on the brink of the abyss and had been asked to make a choice between his duty and his reward. In a flash, Stef realized that this was that timeless place; and now, he too must confront the inevitable Power that reigned here.
"The Shadow-Lover," he whispered as he recognized the Being before him. "I--I'm dead," was his second revelation.
Death smiled at his recognition. In a voice of amber, silk, and steel, the Messenger spoke. "You have earned your rest and more, Bard Stefen, and you know the choices before you: the Havens, and whatever might be your reward there, or -- " and at this Death smiled again, " -- or to join your beloved in his earthbound duty."
With an effort, Stef wrenched his eyes from that hypnotic gaze. With a shaky voice, he gave the answer that he had dreamed of and clung to for over half a century. "I want to be with Van," he whispered with conviction.
Death nodded with a slight smile, unsurprised by his choice. He took a step back from the bard and held His hand out. "Come with me."
Nervously, Stef laid his hand on the palm of Death, wondering if he was going to be taken to Vanyel now. He felt the grayness around him suddenly lurch, and then found himself somewhere else.
Brilliant white and silver light surrounded him in lieu of the grey. There was a pleasant warmth here that reached into the depths of Stef's soul. But Stef did not pay much notice to any of this, nor was he aware of Death releasing his hand and fading away. All he could focus on was the Radiant Power before him, a figure that could not be clearly seen at the center of that blinding silver light, but still radiating love and a motherly smile.
Was this the Star Eyed Lady that the Hawkbrothers prayed to? -- A corner of Stef's mind wondered curiously even as the rest of him was frozen in awe. -- Or was this the goddess Astera, who was still popularly worshipped in Valdemar, albeit not as much as in days long past. He realized that he was still staring at Her as if a star-struck half-wit, and belatedly fell back upon the manners ingrained to him from as Court Bard.
Shakily, Stef sank to his knees. "Lady," he breathed, and knew not what else to say.
Flickering sapphire eyes regarded him from the silver light. Blue light seemed to flow from them and enveloped Stef in a sea of azure. "Return to your world, my dear child," said the Goddess, her words gentle but filled with incomprehensible depth. "Return to your soul's mate and the life after death that you have earned. Yours, too, shall be the duty of viligance and guardianship, until magic again returns to the land of Valdemar." The Goddess paused then, and smiled at Stef once more. "Remember naught but this, beloved child. You should be proud of what you have accomplished in life... and I am proud of you."
With that, Stef found himself falling from the silver light. As the void disappeared around him, he realized that tears were flowing down his cheeks. He raised his hand to wipe them away, only to have another's hand touch them first.
:Why so sad, ashke?: The new voice made Stef's heart jump. He looked up right into the dazzling eyes of his life-bonded, Herald Vanyel.
:Van?: Stef could not believe his eyes as he gazed into the ghostly face of his love. He raised his hand to touch Vanyel's face, and saw to his astonishment that his own hand now shared the same shimmering transparence as his love's.
:Van!: With a mental shout, Stef threw himself up into the waiting arms of his soulmate, content happiness spilling out in clear laughter. Vanyel held him in a tight embrace, answering Stef's laughter and happiness with his own.
Stef felt himself being lifted up, and looked down to see the two of them gliding gently over the surface of a shallow pool that glittered with silvery reflected light. As he gazed into the pool, his eyes widened at his reflection. No longer was he the crinkled old man who had ridden into the Forest of Sorrows; he was once again the dashing young man who had been all but kidnapped to the Bardic Collegium in Haven, and there found the other half of his heart.
An amused snort finally brought the two young men -- ghosts, rather -- reluctantly apart. They looked up to see a familiar ethereal Companion gazing down affectionally at them from a nearby hill. Slowly, Vanyel floated the two of them back onto the banks of pool. :Something wrong, 'Fandes?: he asked innocently.
Yfandes ignored his flippant question and winked at Stef. :I just wanted to welcome Stef before the two of you slip off to catch up on the last few decades,: she shot back, then chuckled an equine laugh at their blushes.
:Thanks, 'Fandes,: Stef replied, touched by her welcome and by the fact that now he could speak directly with her as Vanyel could in life. Then he smiled slyly at her, and returned his own teasing remark. :But if you feel neglected, you could always join us.:
Vanyel choked beside him and Yfandes laughed. :No thank you, Bard,: she told them, :someone has to take care of Andros and Toril before they start tearing the forest apart for you.: She smiled smugly at them. :They'll not remember a thing.: She winked at them again before trotting off. :Now why don't you two go enjoy yourselves...:
Stef looked back at Vanyel, suddenly feeling as shy as the day they had first met. He felt soft hands tracing his face, as Vanyel leaned in for a soft, lingering kiss. :Welcome back, ashke,: Vanyel murmured in his husky baritone voice. :Play me a song?:
Stef smiled then, as the giddy happiness came back to him, unhindered now with the burdens of his life. He let Vanyel guide him to the gittern that lay beneath the trees. For the rest of that day and a long time afterwards, the flora and fauna in Forest of Sorrows basked in the shared laughter of two young male voices echoing among the trees.
Footnote:
"Ashke" is the Hawkbrother word for "beloved". It's also Stef's nickname for Vanyel, a play on Van's last name, Ashkevron.