A/N: This is NOT an Akito-forces-Tohru-to-live-in-the-Main-House fic. This is a new kind of AkitoxTohru fic. A fic where the love is totally one-sided and not mutual. Because obsession is a dangerous thing. Because I'm tired of all the fluffy AkitoxTohru stuff and a one-sided love brings on terrible consequences. Because I hate Tohru and love Akito XD
Also, AkitoxTohru fics seem to be getting loads of reviews so I thought I'd cash in on it. Cha-ching!
And because of SunMoonAndSpoon, who was so desperate to read the first chapter even though I haven't got a plot as such. Hahaha. This chapter is for you, my dear.
Please note that this fic is set around vol. 3, so Tohru never saw Akito at her highschool. She's only seen him that one time, when he was leaning out the window. In other words, she doesn't know who he really is. Got it?
Enjoy!
Akito Sohma lay on his porch, sunlight streaming around him, and thought.
He thought about all the kinds of shadow in the world. The sun-baked shadows of high noon, all the dry, secret shadows locked up in drawers and bureaus, the old, musty dusty shadows of library bookcases, the cold shadows of night lying curled on the earth. The shadows under people's eyes, the cool, dark depths of vast ocean, a world of shade under the sun…there were so many.
Akito popped his lips. Right now, on the night side of the earth, there was a great rolling blackness, creeping toward him. When the sky darkened it would come. And he would look at the moon, and see its dark face turned away from him. He imagined what the dark side of the moon looked like. Vast, and airless, and cold.
Akito curled himself up. They thought they were cursed, his Juunishi. They didn't know what the word meant. He was the most cursed, wretched creature on this earth.
He could feel himself getting weaker, day by day. He hated that. Every breath made him wince, every slight temperature change hurtled him into a fever or uncontrollable shaking, and headaches burst from his forehead like fireworks.
He began chewing on his lip, chewing until he tasted blood.
"Akito-san?"
Akito jerked. Hatori had appeared silently behind him, as was his way. The doctor's eyes flickered as he saw Akito's bloody lip but his face remained passive.
"Akito-san, it is time for your check-up." Hatori placed his medical bag down with a slight thud.
"I'm aware of that, Hatori." Akito sat up, and let the Dragon's cool, passionless hands move across his thin frame.
Hatori touched his god's pale, waxen face; with its surprisingly thick lashes, moved his fingers to cup the warm throat. He then gently felt the boy's thin arms. Akito made a small sound of discomfort.
"Do they ache?"
Mute nod.
"If you just wait here," Hatori said calmly, emotionlessly, pitilessly, "I can get you some painkillers. I know the Tylenol doesn't work anymore so I've ordered some stronger pills." He rose gracefully, unfolding to his full height in front of the slumped god. And then he was away, his medical coat a white blur in the gloom. Akito kept himself from shouting after him.
You leave me. You stride away, unconcerned, unruffled. We're two beings apart. We pass each other by, but never touch.
Akito smiled. If he touched his ice-dragon, he would probably freeze and shatter.
He drew his knees up. A cool gust ripped through his thin yukata, sending shivers running down his body. The sun had disappeared behind a cloud.
The boy thought of the warmth of Hatori's long slender body, his glacial eyes. A warm body, brimming with health: Dragons hardly ever got sick.
Akito drew his arm back and smacked his fist against the porch with all his might. Thud.
The pain distracted him for a few moments. Bruises welled under his white skin.
Hatori returned, with some pills and water. He caught Akito staring at his bruised hand with an interested expression. The doctor set down the glass.
"What did you do to your hand and lip?" Faint annoyance was in his voice. The boy's eyes widened slightly.
"Akito-san?"
The god's dark silence drifted over him.
"All right." Hatori sighed in irritation. "Look, take these pills – they'll stop muscular pain. Then let me look at you again."
Thwack
Hatori swallowed. Akito had lashed the glass; splashing water between the porch slates. His eyes were dark and hot; water trickled past Akito's small bare toes.
"…At least let me look at your lip, Akito-san."
"No." Akito drew up his knees again and settled his arms on them.
"I need –"
"I need to be alone right now, Hatori," the boy hissed. He sounded hurt.
The doctor drew back. He couldn't understand quite what it was he'd done; only that he had passed some line and made his lord angry. But he was still the doctor.
He placed the pills in a tissue from his pocket, made a little wad, and set it down close to a bare ankle. "Take these at some point," he said quietly. "Otherwise your pain might spread to your other muscles."
Akito glared at his Dragon. He waited until the man had left before eyeing the tissue.
He took the pills in his slender fingers and rolled them around: pale blue in colour, shiny, plastic-looking.
He mashed them into powder flakes with his thumb.
---
It was hours later and Akito's whole body was hurting. Even his hair and he was pretty sure that wasn't normal. He lay stretched out on his bed, eyes closed, trying to move and breathe as little as possible. The pain…he turned his head and bit down on his pillow.
I shouldn't have destroyed those pills Hatori gave me. Akito scowled. But he daren't ask for more. He was too stubborn.
It was too late anyway. Minutes later, he was in the throws of delirium.
Hatori heard the boy's cries for him and came running to him, as he always he did. He made no comment that it was obvious Akito hadn't taken his medicine. In this state Akito was unwilling to swallow anything. So the doctor just held him, held him tight as Akito sweated and raved, and tried to break free, flailing at imaginary things that swarmed like flies around his head.
Akito slumped as the worst of his fever passed. He couldn't stop himself shaking. A cold compress pressed itself against his forehead and the god shuddered, leaning into Hatori's touch.
They sat there for a minute. Hatori could feel the boy's rapid pulse beating throughout his body.
Then the doctor realised that Akito was muttering under his breath; one word that came in little pants.
"Her…her, her, her…"
"Akito-san?"
That girl. That girl. Akito didn't hear him. He rocked back and forth as he remembered the day she'd suddenly turned and saw him leaning out of the window…he closed his eyes…
He'd been watching her; she was walking away, hair streaming after her, a bright figure clothed in sunlight. And then, sharply, she'd turned, as if sensing his presence; his dark, cold self, and she was staring at him with wide large eyes, and blossoms fell around them and were swept up in a breeze…
They'd locked eyes for one trembling moment, and Akito saw fear in her gaze as she looked at him. Fear, surprise, and…a blush, crawling up her face.
He'd given her a deep, searching look before withdrawing. The very sight of her had sent a stab of hate through his heart. Yes, it was her. He couldn't remember her name. What was it…?
tohru
Akito snapped his eyes open. There it was; an exquisite source for all his pain. She was the cause of all his suffering; his maddening, lingering headaches and shortness of breath. That girl was…
"I want her," he told Hatori, "I want her in front of me, right now."
The doctor looked at him: he knew exactly who Akito was talking about. He put his hands on Akito's shoulders and forced the boy to lie down.
"Akito. You're very ill right now. I don't advise any visitations of any sort in your condition -"
"I want," the god whispered, "to understand what my Juunishi love about her so much. Why they coddle her and smile at her like that…"
"Honda-kun is at school right now, Akito-san," Hatori began, then realised his horrible mistake.
He was dragged forward as Akito dug his nails into his shirt.
"Honda-kun?" Akito smiled. "I didn't realise you were so familiar with her, Hatori…you don't go out much…does she come here to visit you, too?"
"No, Akito-san." Hatori kept his face blank.
"Well, I want her. I want to see this special Honda-kun everyone is talking about. I want to see her and find out what makes her so special that you love her over your God."
"I don't –"
Akito felt his eyelids scrape over his soft eyeballs and he groaned. "Just…get her, Hatori. I don't care if she's in school. Get her or I won't eat or sleep for the rest of the day," he threatened. Hatori carefully disengaged himself from Akito's weak grip. God had spoken.
"Yes, Akito-san."
---
Hatori did what he was ordered. He took the family car and drove right to the highschool, where he asked that Tohru Honda be paged. Deja-vu crept over him as he stared out of the window of the reception at the trees outside.
It's almost like the first time. When I came to warn her about…us. About Akito. About the curse.
He brought a hand to his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose. It was far too late now. She'd become apart of the family…whether Akito liked it or not.
Hatori hadn't liked that shiny look in Akito's eyes when the god had asked him to fetch Tohru. It made him nervous. Akito was scheming something.
He let out a dry laugh. Just like the others, I want to protect her…
"Hatori-san!"
Hatori turned quickly, masking his surprise. "Honda-san. Hello." He paused; he wasn't sure how to begin.
"Are you all right, Hatori-san?" Tohru said nervously. She could see he was paler the usual.
"What?" Hatori blinked. "Oh…no, I'm ok. I came here to fetch you, Honda-san. I'm afraid you're going to be missing your classes for the rest of the day…"
"Oh! Is something wrong? Did something happen? Did –"
Hatori stopped her with a raised hand. "Akito wants to see you, Honda-san." He watched her.
Tohru turned bright red. "…Oh!"
Akito-san? The head of the family? It must be very important if he sent Hatori-san to fetch me! Maybe I shouldn't tell Kyo-kun or Yuki-kun…they would be so worried…but maybe they'd like to know…maybe…
"Honda-san?"
"Yes?" Tohru whispered.
Hatori looked at his watch. "We should get going. Akito…isn't the most patient of people."
"Y-Yes!" Tohru nodded firmly. "But, Hatori-san…since I can't tell Kyo or Yuki now…"
"I'll call Shigure later and ask him to tell them where you are," the Dragon promised.
---
They were in the inner rooms of the Main House now. Tohru was uneasy. Hatori had told her that these rooms were solely Akito's, and few Juunishi or any Sohmas on the inside ever walked through here. It was dark and cool in here, and silent. A few servants passed them and vanished just as quickly as they came.
Tohru, with Hatori's comforting hand on her shoulder, was steered down a long hallway. Outside a door the doctor stopped her and turned her to face him. There was a look of quietly controlled panic on his face.
"Honda-san. Akito is quite ill right now, and on normal circumstances I wouldn't allow anyone to see him. But he insisted, and I can't disobey. Please be careful. I don't know why he asked to see you…but you must be on your guard. Akito…has problems controlling his temper."
Hatori drew his hand unconsciously to his half-blind eye. He took a deep breath. "And…address him as Akito-sama, Honda-san. He is the head of the Sohma family after all. This little mark of respect might ease him slightly."
Tohru smiled. "Don't worry, Hatori-san. I'll be careful. Thank you for telling me this." She bowed.
The Dragon smiled back, not letting her see his anxiety. The poor, simple girl didn't understand a thing. She was so heartbreakingly naïve. She thought she could handle Akito with a little kindness. But as Hatori, and many of the Sohma knew, Akito would not allow himself to be fooled.
He opened the Sohma lord's bedroom door and gestured her in.
---
Tohru peeked into the bedroom. The sudden hotness made her blink. Bedrooms like this, smelling of stale body heat and grey sweat, they were only this hot for the sick or dying. Or both.
She stepped inside. The warm heat smothered her.
Tohru could see Akito. She could see, on the double bed, a twisted shape.
"Akito-sama…?"
That voice. Akito lifted his eyelids. A girlish voice, unremarkable, but full of sunshine and charming childish hesitancy.
"Akito-sama?"
The god closed his eyelids again. Let her wait. In the meantime, he painted a picture of her on the underside of his skull. Mousy brown hair. Large, doe-like eyes. Probably had a pin of a bunny on her backpack. Sickeningly sweet. Ugh.
"Akito-sama?" Tohru was feeling very nervous. Even the air felt infected. There couldn't possibly be any life in this stained room.
"You wanted…to see me…"
She almost screamed as the shape shifted.
"Water."
Tohru blinked. "Eh?"
"Water," rasped a hoarse young voice, "There's a pitcher of water at your feet. Fill the glass and give it to me."
She bent and grasped the bone-cold pitcher. Silently, Akito slung himself upright. He watched her mousy-brown head bob as she poured. Tohru looked up and into his face.
"Oh!" She quivered. His eyes!
"Give me the water," Akito said tonelessly. He took the glass and sipped it and watched her.
Yes, she was all he thought she would be. An expression of dumb, hopeful tenderness. Hair in braided pigtails. There was a mole on her collarbone. Boring, even hopelessly ordinary. He almost sneered.
Tohru fumbled with her hands. Akito's lightless gaze pierced her to her core. She was amazed and so wonderfully frightened…he almost like a darker, frailer version of Yuki-kun, though his eyes had a faint slant. Her gaze fell to his hands and she saw he had the palest, prettiest fingers.
She knew who he was now.
"You're that boy," she whispered.
"What?" Akito snapped.
"That boy," Tohru went on, gaining courage from the memory, "The boy I saw leaning out the window. I-I recognise you now. You're him."
"So?" Akito was annoyed. He didn't understand that odd blush that was once again creeping up her neck. It disturbed him.
"What are you?" he asked softly. She felt herself flush.
"I'm Tohru Honda…"
"No." Akito shook his head. His bangs fluttered. "I mean, what are you? Because I assume you're some sort of angel or saint to win the love of my Juunishi so easily."
"I…no…no, Akito-sama, I'm just a girl," she mumbled. She couldn't look into those eyes.
He leaned forward. She could smell his sweat. And then his hand was by her cheek, touching it. Tohru's mouth was slightly open. Akito took hold of a braid and yanked.
"That's what I thought. Just a girl. A foolish, silly, long-haired little schoolgirl who skips in skirts and sucks on her pencil and writes love-notes during class. I bet you volunteer for the school bake sale and study every night." He rubbed the light silk strands between his fingers and smiled.
"Am I right?"
"I…I just," she whispered. His words spiked her. She recognised that stinging hot darkness in his eyes: animosity. Perhaps he hated her before she even set foot in this room. It made her quake. She couldn't, in her simple-mindedness, understand why anyone would be that way. It wasn't normal. It didn't belong in bright, optimistic Tohru-world.
Akito let go of her, clutching a few hair strands in his fingers. He ripped the sheets off of him and sat on the edge of the bed. The sick, infected atmosphere pressed against him but he was all right because he was its maker. He was God.
"Hmm."
He took her chin in one hand and turned it this way and that. He looked into her ridiculously large eyes. He felt one arm, felt smooth skin and healthy young muscle. Finally he pushed her away.
"I still can't see it. I still can't see what my Zodiac sees in you. You're boring, average. There's nothing very extraordinary about you on the outside…perhaps it's the inside that counts?" he sneered.
"'Never judge a book by its cover,'" Tohru said, her mother's saying pushing its way into her forebrain. Akito nodded.
"So true, Tohru Honda-san. Perhaps you think I should know what you're like inside." He drew a finger across his chest.
"But I already know what you're like inside: you're wet and red and squishy, Honda-san."
He smiled at her gasp. "If I were to take a knife and slice your little white belly open, would you spill your secrets to me?"
She crept back on her knees, head bowed. He wanted to grab her by her downy little nape and drag her to him.
"Stay where you are."
Tohru complied. Akito watched her for a minute, before closing his eyes.
I want…to understand…what makes her so special. Over me. Over me me ME…
Tohru watched as Akito seemed to drift away from himself and into his mind. She wondered what he was thinking. It looked like he was in pain. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but held herself back. Instead, she simply looked at him.
This was that boy she had seen staring at her from the window. He was that boy among the blossoms, that little dark shadow. For weeks she'd wondered if she'd simply imagined it all – he had appeared so suddenly and was gone so quietly she thought he was a ghost.
'Akito-san's word is law.'
'I can't go against Akito-san's orders.'
'I can't disobey.'
So, she reflected, he was head of the Sohma family. But what really was he? Was he a member of the Zodiac? If so, she wondered what animal he was. And he seemed so young…too young to be in control of such a large family. Akito had this aura about him, this dark, magnetic persona that commanded absolute authority. He held himself like a king.
She realised that she had crept closer to him without knowing it, so close she could reach out and touch him. And that his eyes had opened. He was staring at her with those coal-black eyes, looking utterly furious.
Tohru gave a small scream as she was suddenly pinned to the floor. He was gripping her wrists above her head, straddling her. He wasn't heavy but it was fear and not his weight that kept her still.
"How dare you," Akito hissed. "How dare you invade my personal space without my permission. No one comes near me unless I want them to, do you understand?"
"Y-yes!"
Tohru's heart beat frantically against her thin blouse. No man had ever been this close to her before, not Kyo, not Yuki. She could see his naked skin through the V of his yukata. His face was so close to hers, his bangs dripped across her cheeks…she was terrified…but she couldn't stop the hot tingly sensation in her midriff when he shifted his weight.
"Are you frightened?" the god asked softly. She nodded.
"Good." He clenched his fingers harder. She was squirming underneath him, and Akito recognised that heated little glance that flared for a minute in her eyes. Good God, the girl was almost aroused by him…how pathetic. His first instinct was to shove her away – then another idea surfaced.
He bent down again brushed his lips against her own.
"You will learn your place in the end, little flower. Your job is not to bloom but to be trampled on."
"A-Akito-sama, don't!" she squeaked. Her lips burned. She could feel his sickly heat.
"Don't what?" Akito let his hot breath curl against her throat and was pleased when she sucked her breath in. He found this nauseating, but if this little girl could be manipulated so easily…it was easy to act on her raging teenage hormones.
But her….she was warm to the touch. Oh yes, she was scared. But a little bit of her was excited as well. He took a sip of her submission and found it exquisite.
He got off her and tugged his yukata back onto his shoulders. Tohru scrambled to her feet and adjusted her blouse, knowing she was bright-red. Akito was aloof again, emotionless as ice.
"Get out," he told her, "I want nothing more to do with you at the moment. I haven't found what it is that draws my Zodiac to you, but rest assured that I will. Your days are numbered, Tohru Honda-san."
He watched her slink out, before padding to the sliding door and looking out over the gardens. He could still feel her body's warmth cupped against him. Akito closed his eyes and smiled.
What are you going to do, Honda-san, now that you've entered the garden of the Serpent?
---
A/N: This is my first AkitoxTohru so sorry if it was a bit lame. Though because it's one-sided, things will definitely become more interesting. You might have to wait a while for an update though. Please review this chapter and tell me what you think.