A/N: Hey, we are back for another run with a story that is a little more comedic then our others. It features a cynical Herms who's life is a shit sandwich. So, enjoy, and please review! We would like to know what you all think!

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter and co.

Chapter One: It Can't Get Any Better…Can it?

Let's face it, everybody knows a bookworm. The primary subject of everybody's looks of pity. 'Look at that poor girl' is probably the sentence that I have heard most of my life. I have never had, 'she is such a beauty' or, 'I wish I was her'. Oh no. Never, not me. Not Hermione Granger.

I grew up with Dentists as parents. The irony of this is actually brilliant, seeing as up until 6th year, I had teeth as big as the bloody Eiffel Tower. Unfortunately, I was given my mother's frizzy hair (that resembles a huge lion's mane) and my father's lanky, giraffe body. So, when you add my hippo teeth, my lion's mane and my giraffe body you get Africa. O…Woopdidoo.

I am till this very day best friends with the Boy Who Lived (too long) and Weasel – otherwise known as Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. And, lucky for me, I am the right hand girl. The one who came up with all the answers quick-smart. Basically, I am the brains behind the brawn. O joy. I am therefore, the sidekick.

Ron, Harry and I have to be the three biggest misfits that have ever walked the halls of Hogwarts. Ron has bright red hair and resembles a flies' landing strip with the amount of freckles he has. And Harry, the boy wonder, has a scar on his face that resembles a lightning bolt…and they call me a freak. It was in fact, a miracle that us three landed up together in the end because if we didn't, Merlin knows the ridicule we would have had to put up with.

These holidays (at the Burrow), I had my first kiss from…guess who? None other then Ron Weasley. I always imagined my first kiss to be romantic…like at a sunset, or at the beach. Not in the bathroom after I had just brushed my teeth.

I guess all girls think that kisses are slow, passionate…making you want to buckle at the knees…but mine, o no. I expected tonsil surgery when we were done. Let me set you the scene…

"Herms"

"Yes Ron?"

"Uh…can I use your toothbrush?"

"Then basically you would be swallowing my spit"

"I know I better way…"

And then, he went in for the kill. Now, I am presuming we are a couple. And now, having Ron at my side I have no doubt that I am Africa because, I am now attracting the flies.

So there you have it, my life. And it cant get any better…can it?