Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'Cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before I lose it get composure
It wasn't supposed to hurt like this. She was supposed to leave the past in the past, where it belonged and move on, undamaged. Yet here she stood, barely able to breathe for the pain in her chest. She had been tortured less painfully than this. She watched as they sat together talking quietly, away from anyone else, the perfect little couple. As far as they were concerned she didn't exist. He at least had forgotten her. Hermione downed her glass of champagne wishing she had something a little stronger, just to take the edge off.
"Are you alright?" Harry asked quietly, following her eye line. She turned her gaze towards the dancers in the room but it was useless. Her eyes were drawn right back to the pair in the corner. She was holding his hand now. It was too much.
"Yes I'm fine" she said, gently squeezing Harry's forearm "I just need to go to the bathroom, won't be a minute"
He nodded, knowing better than to pursue this any further, and let her leave, knowing she would struggle to stay there much longer.
Once inside the bathroom Hermione ran her wrists under the cold tap and splashed some water on her face. She took a couple of deep breaths and closed her eyes. She pressed her forehead against the cool mirror and tried to find some sort of composure. Her mind wandered back to the day that all of this had started and breathed deeply again knowing that tears were only seconds away.
Hogwarts was a mess, barely more than a pile of rubble really. Hermione picked her way through the debris, wand in hand. The battle had ended perhaps six or seven hours ago. Harry, she knew was sound asleep, Ron too had needed some rest. She had tried to sleep but her brain wouldn't quiet down. Initially she had wanted to help with the recovering of missing people and the identification of bodies. But when every body had a name and every missing person had been found, Hermione still could not rest.
At some point Ron had taken her to one side and asked her not to think too much of the kiss they had shared, he said it had been a heat of the moment thing. He didn't want to rush into anything serious if it would risk their friendship. She had agreed.
They had been told not to start rebuilding the castle just yet. Filch had been sweeping up in the Great Hall but Professor McGonagall had warned them against any kind of magical rebuilding. The risk of some sort of accident was far too high while they were all so worn out, besides a battle on that scale would leave pockets of residual magic which had the potential to be a little unpredictable.
So Hermione just wandered and wondered why exactly Ron's rejection didn't hurt very much. She supposed exhaustion and the impact of war may have numbed her a bit. Even so she was probably supposed to feel something and she just couldn't. Even when Ron had first told her, her only real thought had been 'oh'. She couldn't even pretend to be surprised.
"Hermione?" She heard Ginny's voice a few feet behind her. She and Harry were stood just inside the doorway of the Gryffindor common room. "You look terrible"
Hermione gave a dry laugh "Don't sugar the pill Ginny" she said sarcastically "Just say what you think"
Harry frowned "She's right though, you don't look well Hermione." He moved nearer to her eyeing her critically, taking in the dried blood matting her hair from where she had fallen earlier. Her clothes were singed from the fire in the room of requirement and covered in blood from her numerous injuries. Barely a square inch of skin was free of bruises or cuts. "Have you seen Madame Pomfrey?" She shook her head
Ginny sighed "When was the last time you actually slept?"
Hermione frowned and rubbed her eyes "I don't know…maybe the day before yesterday"
Ginny tutted and put her hands on her hips in her best imitation of her mother "Hermione Granger, get yourself inside that common room and get some sleep right now"
She was too tired to argue so she said nothing and just stumbled through the door before collapsing on the nearest sofa. Ginny pulled off her slightly tattered cloak and draped it across Hermione as a kind of blanket.
"Be careful of loose magic" Harry grinned "It doesn't seem to be dangerous but it has turned Professor Flitwick ginger and Ron woke up wearing a dress, so keep an eye out if you can"
Hermione barely heard the end of the sentence, she had already dozed off. Not yet relaxed enough to loosen her grip on her wand, she drifted into a fitful sleep. Harry and Ginny crept towards the door, determined to leave her in peace. As they reached the door another wave of magic swept past. Magic is a peculiar thing, it obeys none of the laws of physics. It certainly doesn't just diffuse itself without a little persuasion, it hangs around particularly well in old buildings, collecting and mutating and washing over people. The wave of magic Harry and Ginny encountered created a sensation something akin to standing ankle deep in the sea and feeling the outgoing tide shift the sand under your toes. In the split second after the feeling had passed there was a peculiar noise, like the last of the water draining out of a bathtub and then there was silence. They stared at each other and laughed at each other's startled expressions
"Did you hear that Hermione?" Ginny giggled
Hermione didn't reply, not even a snore answered Ginny's question
"Hermione?" Harry called. Still there was no response. Ginny strode back to the sofa Hermione had curled up on and gasped, she turned to Harry with a face whiter than a sheet.
"She's gone" she whispered.
Lily Evans heaved a great sigh "James I've got en exam in half an hour, I haven't got time" She was desperate to be left to do some last minute study in her room but James and his friends had dragged her down to the common room and were attempting to pull her out of the portrait hole. Only Remus had realised that this was likely to be a long argument. He had sat down in the nearest armchair with his book to wait it out.
James rolled his eyes "Evans, chill out, it won't take you ten minutes, just come sit in the grounds with us. Cut loose once in a while, it won't kill you"
Lily huffed and folded her arms "no but it might cost me an exam"
"Just give up James" Sirius black intervened, ribbing Lily good-naturedly "You know she's allergic to fun"
Remus Lupin peered over the top of his book, watching the scene in mild amusement as Lily opened her mouth to give a scathing retort but never managed to make a sound. A moment of complete silence surrounded them, stilling them all. Then there was a sort of pop and out of nowhere, a sleeping figure appeared, curled up on the sofa.
Lily screamed and Sirius swore loudly. James was frozen for a moment before he grabbed Lily's hand, "we need to go and get Dumbledore" he shouted and the two of them bolted out of the portrait hole.
Sirius and Remus were left alone with her. Thankfully most exams were over by now so the other inhabitants of Gryffindor tower were out enjoying the sunshine. The minute or so of silence before the others returned gave Sirius and Remus a chance to actually get a close look at her.
"Not bad" Sirius grinned, "she's definitely fanciable"
Remus sighed "do you ever think of anything else?"
"What else is there?"
Remus shrugged, having this conversation with Sirius was beyond pointless really. Now that he looked at the girl though he started to panic, far from trying to gauge her attractiveness, he began to notice how damaged she looked. Her face was gaunt and pale, excepting the purple and red hues of her recent injuries, and she had dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was wildly messy and stained deep red with blood. He reached out and gently touched her hair.
Sirius flinched "What are you doing Moony? You don't know where she's come from"
"She's not a mongrel padfoot," Remus whispered, staring in horror at the blood staining the tips of his fingers "and she's hurt"
Thankfully at that moment Dumbledore swept through the doorway, closely followed by Lily and James.
When Hermione woke, it was because of a feeling that she was being watched. She immediately sat up with her wand in her hand. Her reflexes were still lightning fast. It took her a moment to take in what she was really seeing.
To begin with she thought Harry and Ginny were watching her, she was still sat on the couch in the Gryffindor common room. But then she noticed the four other faces staring at her. Remus Lupin, looking considerably younger and less scarred, Peter Pettigrew, just as rat-faced but with all of his fingers. She knew this couldn't be real because she had seen both of their lifeless bodies only a couple of hours ago. She was even more reluctant to believe that Dumbledore and Sirius Black really stood before her. In fact she may have written the whole thing off as a dream if it weren't for the very real throbbing pain in her head.
James Potter, who should by rights have been dead for near on 20 years, watched her very carefully. He anxiously pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose "Um miss?" he said tentatively "You can lower you wand, we won't hurt you"
She looked helplessly at Dumbledore "what's going on?" she whimpered
"I was rather hoping you could tell us" he replied, putting his hand on hers and gently but firmly forcing her to lower her wand. She looked at Dumbledore's hand resting on her own and then back up at the group and then back down again. All of this suddenly felt horrifyingly real. The room began to spin and suddenly everything went black.
A/N: Ok so I know time turner fics have already been done but I really love them and I just really wanted to write my own slant on it. The bar has been set pretty high by the ones that have gone before, so I will be happy if this turns out to be even half so good :) (I've set myself the added challenge of trying to begin every chapter with lyrics from a song in my itunes library)