A/N: Why... Hello? I notice you're reading this.

How do I know?

I don't

Anyway, I've decided to remodel the silly adventures of Akiri and her crack-headed troupe so that it's much more enjoyable by my beloved readers. Also, because I'm redoing it, you might want to check out my new version of Mad People on fictionpress if you're interested as much. Also, because I love you guys so much, I will post this chapter and wait for reviews.

Anyway, this story's name is Los Locos. I will be using a lot of Spanish in this fanfic and hopefully get some right translations when needed. I am using translations from Google Translate, so please give me some credit for doing that at least before consulting an unknown and foreign object to translate to you.

You might notice that this story is more imaginative, if you have read my previous versions of Mad People before and found that it was too chaotic and impossible for one girl to have so much power. Now I have a better understanding about characters and sidekicks that complement their personalities or powers.

Now that this is over, enjoy the first chapter of Los Locos! (Translations will be added next to Spanish in sentences.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, my friend's ass or the Attack On Titan series, because I have never watched it and would like to.

Warning: Why do I always add a warning? Oh that's right, because none of my stories are for people who don't know what the word 'fuck' means. There is definitely Language, Violence and Nudity in this story, so don't read it till you are sure you have your parents' permission, or else I will have to remove this story...

Enjoy and review.

Here's my favourite part of writing a chapter... ADDING A LINE BREAK!

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THISISAWESOMEANDILOVETOTYPEWITHOUTUSINGANYGRAMMARBECAUSEIMJUSTTHATBIGOFANASSHOLESOYOOUGUYSCANACTUALLYREADTHISSHIT

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Los Locos

Story start

Waking up with a hangover from hell is definitely not how Akiri Drackon wanted to spend the day after her eighteenth birthday. She didn't mind drinking; actually she is an alcoholic, seeing as she tries to get snockered every blasted weekend. No, waking up with a pounding head and aching muscles was definitely not something good; Akiri's friends learnt that that specific morning.

Stumbling out of the large four poster bed, Akiri noted another living creature on the other end of her bed, fast asleep. She paid no heed to it; thinking it was Akuto or Ichibi, one of her annoying friends, and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Freezing, Akiri took in the scene in front of her, and it wasn't what she had had in mind.

Akuto, red and white hair thanks to an experiment of her own doing gone wrong, and with a bright blue left iris and deep green right iris, was hogging the kettle. Her pale skin caused her to blend in rather well with the surroundings. Trying to get to the most recently boiled hot water, Ichibi with brown hair and orange highlights thanks to their other friend Momo's undoing, golden yellow eyes that dart around uneasily when Akiri, the leader of the group of mad people, known to the school as Los Locos, or in plain English, The Crazy People, walks in to the room.

The best thing, other than having more pure blood Mexicans in your school, is that because of that, a school in South Africa celebrates most of the Mexican traditions. Not only that, the school uniform had changed dramatically over the last three years. The girls have to wear long, flowy skirts and tops that have straps. Boys have to wear cotton pants along with a loose tunic. The colours of the school had changed as well.

Instead of the usual grey, yellow and green, the school now wears red, yellow, black and light blue. In fact, this particular high school is probably the only one that celebrates Halloween, or Día de Muertos; the day of the dead.

But, leaving festivities and turning to the supernatural, Akiri stared in mute horror at her two friends. Akuto and Ichibi had been the only two of her nine-man group that pitched up for Akiri's eighteenth. Karo, her younger sister and also a part of the group, locked herself in her room. So who the hell was in Akiri's bed?

"Oh... G'morning Akiri." Akuto frowned, glancing at Ichibi whilst trying to pour hot water into her cup before having to make coffee second. She always loves to be the first, whether in sports or any other daily routine. "What's got you so panic stricken?"

Without noticing it, Akiri's eyes were wide as tennis balls and her face was beet red. Of course, her shock had not been because of seeing Ichibi and Akuto fighting over the kettle; they did that a lot. "Si usted está aquí... Who's in my bed?" She practically squeaked the words out in English. No one knew about another of their group entering the house, so the panicked look on Akiri's face transferred to Ichibi and Akuto; both of them already too shocked to fight over the golden steel kettle.

Slowly, Akuto set the kettle back on its stand and stepped closer to the taller girl with pitch black hair and eyes an unknown hue of light lavender and ice blue. "Akiri," Akuto waved a hand in front of her Spanish learning friend. There was a loud thump from upstairs, causing Akiri, the usually prideful and thickheaded one of the group, to jump a foot into the air and latch onto Akuto's waist. Sighing, Akuto, the usually as she is now, a brave person with no sense of moral because she would occasionally try to blow herself up with a mixture of magnesium and helium, stepped out of the kitchen and inched forward to the stairs, taking caution in case Karo had just woken.

Karo, on the other hand, was fast asleep and rarely aware of anything going on around her; also a reason why she isn't really part of The Crazy People. Anyhow, as soon as Akuto made her way to the stairs, there was a surprised yelp and then Akiri's door burst open. It was strange really…

One second, Akiri's hanging on to Akuto's waist like something bad is going to happen, the next she's standing at the foot of the staircase with… a steel baseball bat? Where the hell did she get that?

Oh that's a mystery even Akuto and Ichibi still want to figure out. But that's not the point!

At the top of the stairs stood a blue behemoth of a man with a face like a shark's. At the bottom of the stairs, Akiri glared at the mutated person, holding a steel club that had red stains on it. That's when Ichibi butted in…

"What the… Akiri? Crees que es real? (Do you think he is real?)" Ichibi stared wide eyed at the blue apparition before turning to her black haired friend.

Akiri rolled her wrist, weighing the steel club before she attacked. "If he's a cosplayer, estarí seguro de que va a morir por irrumpir en mi casa. (You'd be sure that he's going to die for breaking into my house.)" Glaring at the man at the top of the stairs, Akiri suddenly became aware of the aura that the guy gave off, and it was similar to Kisame's in Naruto. But wait… That's just a television show… Justo? (Right?)

Ichibi and Akuto frowned at Akiri's suddenly pale face. "Akiri, are you okay?"

"Hi!"

Knockout, once. Akiri fainted out of pure shock. The blood rushed to her feet, making gravity even worse seeing as all your blood mass would be directed at your feet, causing you to lose balance and fall, probably splitting your head open. If that were the case, the blood had to circulate through your body again before any blood seemed to seep through the wound. In that way, it's much easier to stitch a wound without blood leaking uncontrollably.

Fortunately, Akiri fell backwards in the arms of Ichibi, who gracefully lunged forward, despite her constant cowardice, to look like a goddamned hero. Thank goodness there was a large open space between the stairs and the sofa, because the sofa had hardwood as a frame! "Oh my God! What have we done?! Will Santa Muerte welcome her into her arms and allow her to be happy? Or will she be forgotten and go to the land of the forgotten?" Akuto cried, gripping her face in horror.

"Check for a pulse, estúpido idiota!" Ichibi barked, grabbing Akuto's wrist and slapping a hand across her face, leaving a red mark on her white skin.

"Oh…" Akuto stared down at their probably dead friend before pressing two fingers to Akiri's neck. "Hold up… Yep…" Nodding, Akuto checked for a pulse in Akiri's wrist as well. "Yep, yep, she's definitely alive."

"Gracias a Dios!" Ichibi wailed, hugging Akiri who was in her lap.

Akiri opened her eyes and narrowed them simultaneously. "Bajar de mí, imbécil. (Get off of me, you nitwit.)" She grumbled, pushing free of Ichibi. Her heroic expression turned to depression and the brown and orange haired girl stared down at the floor in shame. Akiri, of course, was their leader, and supposed to save them. But then Kisame just had to appear that specific day…

September 04, 09:36 am.

Kisame stared down at the black haired girl who had fainted at his sudden greeting and probably knew him. At that particular moment, Akiri had gotten up from here she had fallen and glared up at him from the bottom of the stares. "Are you a cosplayer?" She enquired.

Of course he was not, because his gills suddenly sucked in air sharply, his whole body racking with confusion at that question. "No, whatever that is, girlie." He grinned, his pointed teeth obviously having no effect on the girl who looked somewhere between seventeen and twenty.

"Prove it," Akiri grunted, again holding the club she had before. Ichibi looked up with horror plastered on her face, Akuto looking equally scared. Indeed, Akiri knew when to sense danger, and Kisame's aura reeked of danger. Grinning, the shark launched himself from the stairs and landed behind Akiri, grabbing both of her arms and pinning them behind her back. Now, Ichibi and Akuto gasped, not because Kisame actually got the upper-hand first, but because he did. This doesn't make sense, right?

Okay, seeing as Kisame had Akiri's arms behind her back, he thought he had won. It's not that simple, sharkie. Instantly, Akiri lurched her foot backwards, colliding it with his knee. Grunting in surprise, Kisame let go of Akiri's arms and pulled…

"Why does he always have that tampon?" Akuto mused, mocking Kisame's prized sword. Before Kisame could retort, however, Akiri clubbed him in the head and sent him dropping to the ground with a large gash over his left eyebrow. Gasping, Ichibi dove behind the couch, praying Akiri didn't decide to lob her head off.

Stepping on Kisame's chest, Akiri lowered herself so she leaned over the now bleeding fish. "Why are you here?" Fuck, Kisame thought. Why does she sound exactly like leader?

Suddenly, Akiri was hoisted away from Kisame by a new person in the room. "Le Gasp!" Akuto stared wide eyed at the guy with black hair tied into a ponytail and lines on his face. "It's Weasel-kun!" Then her expression of surprise turned to anger, mainly because he held Akiri in a rather inappropriate way to the red and white haired woman. "Don't you dare rape her!" She barked.

"Silence!" Itachi roared. "If you don't want her to be injured, you'd better answer some question-." Akiri's fist connected with Itachi's stomach, causing him to drop her.

"Akuto, Hellfire, now!" Akiri barked, moving away from Itachi. Hellfire was a signal to all of Akiri's friends that meant 'get the fuck outta here'. Ichibi jumped up, grabbed Akuto's wrist and dragged her up the stairs to Karo's room, where possible safety was. Akiri returned to Itachi, glancing at Kisame who had just stood up and was snarling at her. "Why are you here?" Fists balled up, Akiri was ready to fight to protect her friends if needed. These two were, of course, S-ranked criminals.

"Where are we?" Itachi grumbled, ignoring her question. He glanced at Kisame, probably notifying him to head upstairs, because the shark grinned and slung his sword over his shoulder.

Mortified that her friends and sister would be harmed, Akiri lunged at Kisame's back, knocking him to the floor. "Don't you fucking dare!" She bellowed, grabbing the big tampon-like sword and jumping back. Her lavender-blue eyes snapped to Itachi, who had one very surprisingly shocked face. "What?" The weasel stared at Akiri in shock for some reason, and when Kisame flipped over, he too had that same expression on his face.

"Kisame…"

"Yes… I see it…"

"See what?" Akiri narrowed her eyes at the two anime characters that mysteriously made their way into the normal world. Okay not that normal, because they just happened to appear in the house of Akiri Drackon, leader of Los Locos. "What the hell are you guys talking abou- oh." She finally remembered grabbing Samehada from Kisame.

Now, we all know that Kisame's the only one in the anime that can wield the sword, basically because he's the only one who can handle it, or even pick it up.

But, now, the Akatsuki seem to have faced a new problem/ danger; Akiri can hold the sword without having any problems. "Well fuck me with a cactus and call me a bruja (witch)..." She said before a wicked grin spread across her face. Looking back at the two, Akiri rolled the sword over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes.

"How the hell...?" Kisame coked his head to the side, still staring wide eyed at Akiri.

Snorting, the black haired girl pointed behind them, next to the stairs where a large sword was displayed. Black smoke seemed to swirl and melt with the rest on the blade; the hilt intricately detailed with a skull and dragons, seeming to breathe the smoke into the blade. "Meet 'Humo Diablo'," Akiri said proudly, jutting a hip out to place her hand on it. "My deceased father's maker; the sword by which he died," Then her expression turned mischievous. "And the same sword I used to lob the head off of the man who killed my father."

Itachi turned back to the girl, eyes narrowed. "It's not very impressive."

Kisame snorted, but froze in mid snort when the sword jumped free of its holder and in to Akiri's other hand. "Now, unless you want to face Humo Diablo and be sent to the land of the forgotten, you'd better start telling me why the hell you're here." She ordered, setting Samehada down on the floor next to the couch.

Narrowing his eyes again, Itachi glanced at the sword in Akiri's hand, which strangely enough had lavender smoke swirling in the blade. "We don't know why we're here. All we know is that there was a blue portal and that we were sucked in." He explained. Akiri leaned on the couch, Humo Diablo resting at her side, ready to be swung in a huge arc.

"Just the two of you, or did some of your comrades fall in as well?" Si está mintiendo, no habría problemas, y yo tendría que evitar ser asesinados… (If he's lying, there would be some problems and I would have to avoid being killed…)Akiri thought fearful of the full wrath of the Akatsuki. But it was nothing compared to the full wrath of Los Locos, being the craziest gang of all time. They were the school's most popular and the official protectors in case something just popped up, like Itachi and Kisame.

Itachi glanced at Kisame who was trying to find a way to get to Samehada before Akiri saw him. "As far as I know, only Kisame and I fell into the hole on our way back from our previous mission." The weasel said, keeping his face as emotionless as possible. Unfortunately, Akiri knew better that him, so she snorted and called to Akuto and Ichibi who popped onto the top of the stairs in a few seconds.

"Sí?" Ichibi stared warily at Kisame and Itachi.

"Los Locos tienen que reunir, llame al resto del grupo. (Los Locos have to gather, call the rest of the group.)" Akiri said; eyes still on Itachi in case he decided to attack. However, because they were speaking Spanish, the Akatsuki didn't quite register what Akiri was saying. Ichibi and Akuto responded with a 'sí' and slid down the stair railing to get to the telephone.

Kisame stared in confusion at Akiri, curiously enough, noticing that she wore a red blouse and shorts. "What the hell was that?" He questioned, failing at his attempt to steal Samehada back as Akiri turned her attention to him.

Her voice was something between sweet honey and bitter charcoal. "You're trespassing on the territory of the Los Locos, and as leader, I have summoned my amigos."

"Hola, Momo you have to get your culo (ass) over at Akiri's house. Tell amigos Luna, Sebastian, Umbra y (and) Wolfey así (as well)." Akuto barked into the receiver, making it sound as if someone's dying. There was a screech of 'we'll be right there' before Akuto slammed the telephone back on its holster and turned with her hands on her hips, grinning wickedly. "Oooh, me amigos, you're about to get one helluva ass whoopin', Luna loves weasel shit like there's no tomorrow, right Ichibi."

Grinning, Ichibi patted the red and white haired girl's shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen. Immediately, the two were in each other's faces, fighting about the kettle again. This time, Ichibi had the kettle in hand. Akiri turned back to the two Akatsuki before shrugging and kicking Kisame's sword back towards him. She then sauntered around to the couch and seated herself, the sword miraculously having put its self back where it was. "In any case, seeing as those two blockheads are fighting again, please seat yourselves." Akiri motioned to Itachi and Kisame to sit down on a couch or something. It wasn't long before the front door; unable to break from its hinges seeing as the door is indestructible, burst open to reveal five more unknown people.

"Akiri~ my beloved!" A young man with blonde and rather shaggy hair sang, running into the living room, to be stopped in his tracks by a girl, looking like a wolf with black hair and purple highlights, donning bright green eyes and real wolf ears thanks to a very successful experiment of Akuto's. She tripped the young male and rushed forward, diving Akiri off of the couch. "Mi amor!" The guy cried again, his blue eyes sparkling before three more pairs of feet trampled him.

"Enough!" Akiri barked, literally throwing the wolf-girl off of her and standing up. All persons froze, except the two Akatsuki who stared in mute horror at the whole insane asylum. *cough* Once all was calm, Akiri ordered the group of people including Ichibi and Akuto wearing a smug look, to stand in a line. The women completely overpowered the men in this group. She started her explanation by pointing at Itachi and Kisame. "We have some unexpected visitors from another world."

A girl with silvery blonde hair and purple eyes squealed when she saw Itachi, but refrained from glomping him when Akiri glared at her. The leader, Akiri, then addressed each in turn, giving them specific orders. First, she turned to the love struck blonde man, who was gawping at her breasts. "Sebastian, get your arse upstairs and wake Karo." She then turned to the only other male in the group who had as black hair as she did and dark blue eyes. "Umbra, start finding some information about inter-dimensional travel in the books in the library, don't let anyone see you sneaking into the restricted section."

"Right," Umbra turned his attention away from Akiri, who turned to the girl who looked like a wolf. Wolfey, as easily guessed, had to help both Ichibi and Akuto tie Kisame up. Akiri ordered Momo, a pink and purple haired girl with blue eyes to find a suitable room to stick the Akatsuki in for the time being. The leader then turned to the girl with silver-blonde hair, almost a whole head shorter than the group leader. Luna was smiling like a crazy person, knowing exactly what she had to do.

"Sic," Akiri said, pointing a finger at Itachi and stepping out of the way in time for Luna to soar through the air and almost rip Itachi's head off. "And will somebody please grab me a glass of alcohol!"

"What the hell?" Kisame struggled to get three very aggressive and rather strong girls off of him. He panicked when Wolfey sank canine like teeth into his blue skin to numb his arms into submission. Sebastian, the lover-boy, ran downstairs and into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of alcohol for Akiri. Once the two Akatsuki were tied up and unable to move, Akiri sat down in what looked to be a throne. However, the 'throne' was a mere single couch that probably would make another member of the Akatsuki go insane.

Umbra left to head to the town's library, very skilled in what he did best, sneaking. Akuto, Ichibi and Wolfey ran upstairs to bicker about which room was theirs, because the house had at least ten rooms. Over exaggerating? Nope. Akiri Drackon happily inherited her mother and father's mansion at the age of fifteen.

Soon, after Akiri sat down in the 'throne' chair, Sebastian bounded from the kitchen and handed her a small glass filled with sherry before standing behind the couch and glaring menacingly at Itachi and Kisame. "Now," Akiri said, taking a sip of sherry and turning to Itachi. "When do your comrades arrive?"

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THISISAWESOMEANDILOVETOTYPEWITHOUTUSINGANYGRAMMARBECAUSEIMJUSTTHATBIGOFANASSHOLESOYOOUGUYSCANACTUALLYREADTHISSHIT

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To think that I'd actually use Spanish in this fanfiction… It's so fucking awesome!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter with Akiri and the Los Locos. Please review and make sure to tell your friends if you've enjoyed reading about a group of lunatics who can speak Spanish, but aren't even near that!

Reviews please!