Worthless

by tmntfan4eva

You can call it a 'sequel' to Stand Together. Dib is doing better now that the bullies have left him alone. He's so happy that he's even forgotten a certain someone. Where is he anyway? Zim isn't in the seat across the room. He hasn't been for a while. But why? Has he simply given up the chase? Or is it something more? Dib has to find out! He just hopes it's not too late.

I didn't combine this with my other one because even though they are kind of related I don't want to have another chapter fiction up and going. If I make any more segments after this one they too will kind of follow this time/story arc and be done in seperate stories. I kind of believe this will be the final one, but also not. You'll see what I mean near the end.

Oh, and YOU BETTER READ THIS NOTE! There's a part with his antennas in this story. If I hear any one of you in the reviews say that it is sexual I will send Gaz's evil toys after you! It's ZaDF! GOT IT? Good. Now, moving on. There's a bit of a time skip, you can determine how much of one. Not too much because they're still kids and still about the same height. But some time has passed. Now enjoy! :D

Dib was different now. People still made fun of him and put him down for his study of choice, but somehow it no longer bothered him the way it used to. He couldn't say he enjoyed their behavior, but he took it with a smile most days. The time too seemed to go by at a faster pace. No longer was it a chore to get through every moment of his life. For he was not so alone anymore. He couldn't say he had a friend. He'd never and would continue to never have real friends. But there was one person who he could at least count on to be there for him when he most desperately needed it.

His eyes drifted over to the seat across the room. A frown deepened on his lips. At least that used to be the case. It had been a while since he'd seen his not friend protector. He'd actually lost count of the days gone by that the little green alien was absent from the class. It didn't help that Zim quickly dropped from the conversations of the other kids. His missing lasted but a few days in their minds. Then it was on to topics such as upcoming parties or who got the coolest toy or anything else that was utterly useless.

He wouldn't lie. There were even days that he forgot Zim existed. He wouldn't pass a glance at his empty chair, he wouldn't talk about him, he wouldn't even wonder for the briefest of moments about his not friend. Looking back on those days he was almost ashamed. This had almost been one of those days too. It was but five minutes until school was out and the only reason his thoughts went to Zim now was because he heard a whisper behind him about Zim.

"I heard he moved." One kid said.

"Nah, he still lives in that creepy house." The other insisted. "What really happened was his parents started locking him in his room and won't let him out ever. Not even for school." There was a laugh in his tone as he spoke. Dib could scarcely believe he was amused by such an idea.

A scoffing sound sounded. The two kids looked toward the sound. "Don't be stupid." Their eyes landed on the blonde girl, the most popular person in the school. "All that's nonsense." She rolled her eyes. "Me and my friends go by there like every day and hear these totally bizarre sounds, kind of like wailing or something. And something bad always happens too. We barely get away, but…it's just too cool not to go. It has to be his ghost. He's haunting the place he died in, where he was betrayed."

Dib started. He turned around more noticeably. He was undeniably interested. While it was stupid what she was saying about a ghost haunting the place, he felt slight alarm about the mention of betrayal. "Betrayal…?" He found himself saying. "What does that have to with haunting?" He scrunched his nose up. Even he as into the paranormal as he was had not heard of any correlation.

The blonde girl narrowed her eyes at him. It was still not cool to be seen talking to the freak, especially not when there was no name calling. Still, she decided that for once she'd gratify him with a response. "Not like it matters to you, the way you treat him, but whatever. People who are betrayed can't move on. So they haunt the place they were betrayed in." She half laughed. "I don't know what could have betrayed that little green freak, he doesn't have any friends. But he's definitely dead. Those moans were just too creepy to be human."

Dib's eyes widened. "Not…human…" He said to himself. He knew it wasn't Zim, even though he was in fact not human. He still sounded human. He'd hurt Zim enough over the course of their rivalry to know his screams. So that left his little robot. Gir was it? Whatever. He had to check this out. Not that he was worried or anything! He laughed beneath his breath. He just wanted to make sure Zim wasn't planning anything evil with his...dog's…wailing. Yeah. That's not too stupid or anything.

The bell rang out. It made him jump in his skin. The children's laughter made him scowl, but he was mostly unconcerned. He had bigger things to worry about, like an alien trying to take over the world. So he promptly stood and walked out of the class. He didn't look back at them, he didn't even bother listening as he swore he heard his name on their lips. Besides, they'd thank him later.

…

Dib was in no hurry. He strolled down the sidewalk as if he were simply going out to a normal place. Perhaps it was a restaurant or the movies which he was headed toward. But no. No one would believe that if he told them that was his destination, even if it was the truth. They knew all too well the only reason he ever went anywhere. It was always about Zim.

As he grew nearer though he became more eager – or was it better to call it anxious? His heart sped up and his breathing quickened. There was no logical reason for it, it just happened. His palms began to sweat and he found himself swallowing repetitively. It didn't help matters when he finally heard the wails. They were bone chilling. A shiver raced up his spine and he shuddered. Maybe the girl was right. Maybe Zim's place was haunted. But that would mean Zim was…no!

Dib shook his head fervently. That was ridiculous. Nothing was wrong with Zim. Nothing! He'd just seen him...! His face became drawn with unease. When had he last seen him? A week? A month? More? No. Dib refused to believe it. He couldn't believe that so much time had gone by without him noticing Zim. How had he gone so long without becoming stir crazy or freaking out because of the lack of thwarting Zim and his evil plans? There was just no way.

He drew closer still. The wails came clearer now. They actually weren't as scary as they were at the beginning. Now he could hear the robotic tone to the cries. "Ah." He nodded. "I knew it. It's just that robot." He smiled slightly. Relief swept over him. Still…that thing shouldn't be moaning like that. Sure he was erratic with his moods, but according to the girl this had been going on a while. "No way the robot would be that upset every day about something stupid. Even he isn't that dumb." He tapped his chin. "I mean, he is dumb." He laughed lightly. "Just not that dumb."

The humor in the situation quickly died. His brow furrowed. But then what is doing this to the poor thing? He turned and found himself facing Zim's house. It looked the same as it ever did. Yet, at the same time it didn't. As he walked up the path nothing moved. Zim's usual alarm gnomes did not react to his presence. No strange creature came out to attack him either. Everything was still. It unsettled him greatly.

As he reached the door he hesitated. What if this was all part of Zim's clever plan? Then again, his plans had taken a dive both in quality and quantity. Ever since Zim had stood up for him that one time so long ago, at least it felt long ago, things changed. Zim still vied to take over, but a lot of effort seemed to slip away. Maybe he was starting to be content living here or something. Dib really didn't know. And then there was his strange behavior starting a few months ago.

Dib grimaced. Maybe that's why he missed it or at the very least ignored it. He'd thought it was Zim just becoming a little more integrated and accepting life among humans. How stupid that had been. Now though, remembering Zim's demeanor, it almost made Dib sad. The little green alien had quite possibly gone into a slump. But why? Was he just not able to think of any more plans? Was he conflicted over their…whatever it was? Or was it something more? But what else could be deeper than that for Zim? What had the power to chase him away from school, world conquering, and Dib?

Dib supposed he'd find out now. He twisted the knob and pushed open the door. He cringed out of reflex. Nothing happened though. He opened his eyes to reveal a disheveled landscape. Food was strewn all over the place and it didn't look like it had been cleaned in ages. Spiders crawled all over the floors and walls and- "EH!?" Dib jumped back. His eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat.

A critter easily his size scurried across the room. It didn't seem to notice him though and kept right on going. Dib breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He held a hand to his chest as he relaxed. "Well, that's never a good sign. The last time I saw a bug that big I was dragged down into some freaky underworld place." He smiled with familiarity. Zim had saved him that time. In all honesty he might very well have died had it not been for Zim getting restless over his absence.

Guilt washed over Dib. Yet Dib had felt little when it came to Zim missing. It was wrong of him, so very wrong. He tentatively stepped into the house of shambles. Immediately he was hit with a strong force. He sucked in a sharp breath and fell backward on his butt. "What the-"

On top of him was the familiar figure of Gir. His wails rang through the air as he flailed his arms about dramatically. "Oh, Mary!" He cried as he spun his head in a circle. "I's so glad you're here!" He swung his arms open wide and latched them around Dib's neck. He then shook Dib like crazy, his hold more of a death lock than a desperate, thankful hug.

Dib coughed. He pried at the robot's arms. But he was much stronger. "Gir." He strained. "Let go." He pulled more desperately. "…please?"

Gir finally relented. He released Dib and hoped down. His antenna fell flat on his head and tears welled in his big blue eyes. "Oh, Mary!" He moaned. He flopped back into a sitting position and lifted his head to the sky to blubber some more. "My master has been so, so sad! SO SAD!"

Dib's eyes widened. "Why? What for? Did I do something?" He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He hoped it wasn't him. He'd barely spoken to the alien in a while. Then again, maybe that was the problem.

"Noooo." Gir wiped at his eyes. The tears came back instantly. "Not you. Never you Mary."

Dib sighed. "Then what?" He urged.

"The Tallest!" His high pitched voice reached far. "They call and they tell him mean things!" He squealed and fell backward. He moved erratically. He even hopped up at one point only to throw himself down again, this time at Dib's feet. "You gotsta help him!" He clutched onto Dib's feet. "PLEASE!"

Dib stared intently at the robot. He seemed devastated, even by Gir standards. He was right when he assumed this wasn't normal. "Where is he?"

Gir picked himself up, making a soft whining sound. He mumbled something among the noises, but Dib couldn't make it out. All he understood was the shrug Gir offered afterward. "He's just SO SAD!"

Dib sighed. He shook his head in resignation. He wasn't going to get anything more out of the mentally unstable robot. He'd just have to go looking for himself. "Alright Gir. I'll look for him then." He stepped around the now spazzing robot and back into the house.

Gir stuck his head in his direction and screamed some more.

Dib growled beneath his breath. He could scarcely believe Zim had the patience to deal with the robot on a daily basis. This one encounter and Dib's head was about ready to explode. And what was with Gir calling him Mary? Where did that come from? Zim couldn't possibly use that name for him. Not even he was that insane, especially not after his slipping. More importantly than all that though was the deal with the Tallest. "Those are his leaders, right?" Talking out loud helped him work through things. "Why would they call to be mean? Or was Gir just over exaggerating things like usual?" He frowned deeply. "No…this is for real."

"HELP HIM!"

He walked carefully into the living room. He scanned the room and found no trace of Zim. Well, Gir wasn't upset about his couch then like the one time. He swallowed hard. It got more serious by the second. He went to the kitchen next and toward the trash can. It wasn't the best way down to the base, but it was the easiest. He flipped it open and hopped in. It took him down without question – something else he had to wonder about. Was it really that easy to sneak down into his base? Why had he never tried this before? Or was this another sign of Zim slipping? Not only the gnomes didn't work, but the paths to his base were open now too. It made Dib's skin crawl.

The lift stopped at the bottom. Dib peeked around before stepping out. Still there was no sign of Zim. He walked around the area, a sense of desperation slowly filling him. He soon came upon the giant computer that he remembered seeing multiple times, most notably when they had faced Tak. He stared up at it. The screen was a bright blue, like someone forgot to turn it off all the way. "Computer?" Dib ventured.

A static sound issued forth and then a low voice spoke. "Yes? What is it Dib?" The computer sounded just as bored and irritated as it always did.

"Do you know where Zim is?" He felt kind of stupid for talking to a computer. It was true this was almost like a person, but still, it was odd. Not that he wasn't odd the way he talked to himself so frequently. It was just one of those things. "He hasn't been at school in forever and I was kind of…I mean, I figured he was plotting something. So I-" He fidgeted as he tried to lie through his teeth.

The computer gave a metallic laugh. "You're worried."

"No!" Dib immediately reacted. "That's not it!" It was. "It's just unnerving." He crossed his arms and looked defiantly away. "He would only leave to plan something. And he's been gone so long it must be something big."

"If you call being a recluse a plan, then sure. He's planning to take over the world by holing himself up in the attic." There was a laugh in his tone. Dib was irritated by it in the same way the kids' tones irritated him.

"Just tell me what happened!" He snapped. He scowled darkly at the screen. It wasn't really the computer's face because it didn't have one, but it was easier to pretend this way. He had to have something to be mad toward. All of the base was not possible to look at, so a computer screen would have to do.

The computer's voice fell and became quite serious, "He's in bad shape." If he'd had a face, it would have been a grimace right now. As much as he detested Zim and serving him, he was undeniably unsettled. "A few months ago the Tallest called and told him the truth – about him, about the way they felt, and about the mission."

Dib's eyes widened. "What do you mean?" He breathed. He stared with uncertainty at the screen.

The computer sighed. "Zim's nothing but a nuisance. He's a disgrace to the Irken Empire and no one cares about him at all. They all wish he were dead. The only reason they lead him on this long was because he at least amused them. Now though…they need to be serious. So they finally admitted it, that his mission never existed, and that he was meant to die searching for the planet."

"So that's what Gir meant." He whispered.

The computer heard. "You saw Gir, huh? He's pretty upset about it. He just doesn't understand it enough to explain it to someone like you." A pause. "I bet he told you they were 'mean'." Dib nodded. "It's worse than that. The way they talked to him was downright cruel."

Dib stared silently for a while. He needed to gather his thoughts. So Zim was not the best of the Irkens. Irkens were far smarter and capable than him. He frowned deeply. That figures. More than that though, he was apparently hated by everyone…just like him. Only Zim hadn't known, not until a few months ago. That was when he'd grown depressed. Yes, depressed is what it was. Dib could label it with certainty now. It was no simple slipping. He had not just fallen through cracks. He had been thrown into a deep, dark chasm with no way to get back up.

"You seem surprised." The computer noted. "What? You really couldn't tell he wasn't the best? Kinda makes me question your intelligence."

"Shut up!" Dib snapped. He scowled darkly. "How was I supposed to know? For all I knew the race could have been dumber than rocks!"

"Well it's not." The computer informed. "Zim is the worst of the worst. He's a defective." Dib lifted his gaze and gave an inquisitive look. "There's nothing worse to be in his world. They even threatened to kill him if he ever called them again. So…he's just been lying around. For months."

Dib's expression intensified. "Where did you say he was again? The attic?" He made a face. "Where's that? I didn't even know this place had an attic."

"It's where he keeps the voot cruiser. I can take you there if you want."

Dib nodded. "Yes." He tried not to sound too desperate. "I have to see him."

The computer would have smiled teasingly if it could. "Sure. Go help your friend."

Dib swirled around. "Zim's not my friend!" He bellowed. His clenched fists quivered noticeably. "I hate him!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. That's why you're here."

"Just shut up and take me to the attic." Dib growled. He stomped over to the lift and waited. He was soon being taken up, a soft laugh filling the area around him. He again scowled at the unseeable computer. He was not Zim's friend. He wasn't! They were enemies! But no matter how many times he swore it he never could quite get himself to believe it. All he really felt was the guilt of trying to deny the truth and of letting down the one person who was always there for him. He was a horrible friend. So he wanted to have never been one. Too bad that was one thing he could never escape.

…

It was dark in the attic. The windows were thick with dust so that even the little light that once seeped through was now completely blocked out. Sure he could turn the lights on if he wished, but he really didn't wish much of anything these days. So lights were definitely not up there on his list. The only thing that might manage to make it into his hopes was the Tallest calling back and telling him it was all just an elaborate prank. But he knew they would not now or ever call back. They had for once been utterly and completely serious with their words. The glint in their eyes was not playful or amused. They really hated him. He felt it with every fiber of his being.

A shudder ripped through his body. It made his weak body ache slightly. He hadn't eaten in a while. Not that he really needed to eat the way humans did, but if he went too long without it his body did suffer. He actually couldn't remember how long it had been since he ate. Maybe it was a week – when Gir brought those waffles in and was making all that unnecessary noise. But no, that wasn't right. That had been even longer ago. A couple of weeks ago or perhaps closer to a month ago was when Gir stopped coming up here. He was sure the little robot still hurt as much as he did if only for some stupid reason like Zim not eating, but it was hurt all the same. It was just that Gir didn't know what to do. He surly didn't enjoy being turned down every day. So he just quit.

A soft whimper passed Zim's lips. As stupid as it was he found himself hurt by the idea of even someone as happy go lucky as Gir giving up on him. It meant that he truly was a hopeless cause. He was as the Tallest said – he was worthless. If Gir could move on then surely that was some sort of sign toward how unimportant he was. Gir never gave up, not until now.

He felt fresh tears itch at his eyes. He didn't bother wiping them away or fighting it. He'd stopped bothering after the first week when he found it made no difference. No one was here to see or hear him. Only Gir was around and he wasn't observant enough, especially not in the dark. So he let the tears fall. They didn't sting like the water from Earth. So it wasn't so bad. And weakness was irrelevant now. If his race considered him a defective, then he might as well not be an Irken at all. Weakness for other species didn't mean as much if anything. Crying was almost normal. So why not let himself cry? It made him more human. It made him belong somewhere. The hot tears streamed down his face and pooled around him.

Soon choked sobs began to surface. He pulled his knees up close to his body. He was laying on his side. It wasn't the ideal position, but it allowed him to curl up in a ball more easily. For the first little while up here it had also made it easy to shy away from intruders, pretty much only Gir. No one else cared. Not even the Dib had come looking for him. He was too busy trying to fit in these days, or at the very least appear less insane.

Zim sniffled. That hadn't helped his response to his Tallest's betrayal. Dib had been slowly slipping away from him and their games. Then again he himself hadn't really been giving Dib a reason to keep at it. He had all but given up over the span of time following his defending of the human. He didn't know why. Well, at least he pretended not to. Really he knew he was growing attached to the stinking human. He hated himself for it and an unsettling fear crept up on him with this revelation – he really might be defective. So when the Tallest called and told him all this and more, it only hit him harder.

Now he saw though that the Dib really did not have the same attachment. He used Zim for protection and nothing more. Otherwise he would be here now. No, he would have been here ages ago before Zim reached this state. Even if he could forgive him for missing his fallen state in school, it should have been more than obvious something was wrong once he dropped out of school completely. Yet the child did not notice, or at the very did not seek him out in worry. It wasn't fair. Zim did so much for stupid Dib and then was given nothing in return, not even in his most desperate time of need.

Then there was a sound. Zim's antennas twitched faintly. He swore that it was the elevator. He hadn't heard it in so long that he actually couldn't be a hundred percent sure. "Probably Gir…" He whispered hoarsely to himself. He'd just ignore the robot like always. As sweet and well meaning as Gir was, Zim just didn't care anymore. The only thing he cared about – his mission – was a lie. He would never again be the invader he once was, or was thought he was. So what did it matter. Dib didn't care either and that was the second most important thing. In all honesty he almost wished to die. He was just too prideful to resort to that, to suicide.

Suicide was the utmost disgrace on Irk. It was second only to being a defective. To be a defective and commit suicide…he might as well not have ever existed. Not even defectives should stoop so low. It was one thing to be killed by the Tallest for being defective. However it was another thing entirely to kill oneself from hearing the truth. So no, he could not do that. If he ever wished to truly die he'd have to trick Dib or another stupid human into killing him. Dib would never though…only the others would. But it didn't matter. He didn't want to move. He'd simply lie here, starving. Did that count as suicide too…?

Before he was given the chance to mull the thought over the door to the lift opened. The entrance to the attic was the only one that had doors. There used to be a reason for that, he remembered that much. He just couldn't for the life of him recall what it was. Oh well. He shrugged to himself. It just made it easier to hear when Gir was coming now. "What is it Gir?" He found himself bothering to ask even with his shaky tone.

Dib hesitated. Did he really want to do this? He could tell by Zim's wavering voice that he was upset. He knew for most that would be an obvious invitation to comfort, but with Zim it could easily mean the opposite. Once Zim realized it was in fact not Gir he would probably flip out. Who knew what that would mean. Still… "It's me." His voice slipped out, only a whisper. He knew Zim heard though. Even in the dark he saw the twitch.

Zim froze. His antenna moved on its own at the sound, but he was completely immobilized. His eyes grew wide as bowling balls, sobs quieted, tears ran dry, and mouth fell agape. He didn't know what to do or say. Could it be? Could it really, really be? His heart skipped a beat at the thought, but it also quickly clenched in anger. How dare he? How dare he come here now, after so long? More importantly, how dare his computer allow him up here! The computer knew what happened, it knew what he was going through. Yet it did this to him anyway. He seethed with fury. However he did not speak.

Dib swallowed hard. He'd made his move. It was supposed to be Zim's turn. He had the sinking feeling that he would not make one though. The only sign he registered his words were his antennas and the tensing of his shoulders and overall body. Dib took a tentative step forward toward the broken mass on the floor that was Zim. "Zim…" Any other intelligent words died on his lips.

Zim shuddered as he said his name. The familiarity burned him in a sickening way as well as a soothing way. He missed hearing his name spoken, especially by the Dib human. He'd never even think of admitting it though. "Get away from me." He finally gritted out, forcing his tone to be even.

Dib still heard the agony no matter how hard Zim was trying. "You know I can't..." Again he spoke softly. He didn't know whether it was because he was trying to be gentle for Zim or if it was because he was just scared about the whole situation. Even with the forewarning he was still stunned to find Zim like this, so alone and in the dark. He was glad he had such excellent night vision. He moved closer still. "I'm your-"

Zim jerked up without thinking. He turned his burning bright red eyes on Dib. His breathing was heavy and angry as his body quaked in a mixture of fury and hurt. "My what!?" He snapped. Despite his anger his voice still managed to quiver. "Were you going to say friend?" He growled vehemently. "You're not my friend! Friends don't let friends drop out of school without a word, friends don't let friends disappear for months without looking for them, and friends don't let friends suffer! All…by…themselves…" His last sentence was broken, barely audible with the strength he put into hiding sobs.

Dib nearly fell over with the power of the guilt that hit him. It's true. He wasn't much of a friend. But then again they weren't really friends. They'd never admitted it anyway. Dib even denied it mere moments ago to the computer. Still, they were friends. In their own twisted childish way they really were. Those days leading up to Zim protecting him proved this perfectly. Even then though it was a silent agreement, a silent agreement which Dib unwittingly broke the day he let him slip out of school unchecked. "I…I wasn't going to say that." He grumbled, averting his eyes. Still he lied. Even with all this at stake he couldn't say it out loud, just like then.

"Liar."He hissed. "I can read you, even in the dark."

"And you think I can't read you!" Dib burst out. "I'm not blind! I know you've been crying! Even if I couldn't see the tears I can hear it in your annoying voice!" He went a bit far with the tiny insult. "You're no mighty Irken soldier! So stop pretending to be! You're no different than me. All you are is a defect." He let it slip. He sucked in a breath, wishing desperately to snatch the words back the instant they passed his lips.

Zim flinched. Months later speaking the truth still hurt. His body trembled noticeably and he choked back sobs. "Get out." He said through tightly pressed lips.

"Zim…" Dib tried.

"GET OUT!" He roared. He jumped to his feet. "Just get the fuck out! I don't want you anywhere near me! In fact, I don't want to ever see you again!"

Dib cringed at his harsh tone. He refused to give up though. So what if he screwed up. He'd fix this. He had to. That's what friends did. "No." He said calmly. "I won't. I…I just can't." He shook his head. "I can't leave you like this."

"What do you care!?" Zim snarled, showing his bared teeth. "You're only here because without me you're getting beat up again! You just use me!" He turned his head away enough to hide the welling tears. "You don't care at all." His voice weakened and he clenched his eyes shut tight.

"Don't be stupid." Dib said flatly. He took another step. Perhaps being blunt and mean wasn't exactly the best way to go, but he was going anyway. "Why would I be here if I didn't care at least a little?" He lifted an unsure hand up and laid it gently on Zim's shoulder. "And it's not because of those bullies. They don't even think of touching me anymore."

Zim shuddered beneath his touch. How long had it been? Not just since he'd touched him but anyone at all. Maybe Gir had about a month ago…maybe. But Dib…it had definitely been back around the time he'd protected the pathetic human. The rain incident perhaps? Willingly…even farther than that. He allowed the contact a moment more before shrugging Dib off and turning completely away from him. He took a single step and stopped, hanging his head. "Don't lie to me." He mumbled without conviction. He was too busy fighting a breakdown.

"I'm not lying!" Dib insisted. "Why won't you believe me?" His voice was almost a whine.

All was silent for a space. Neither moved a muscle and they scarcely breathed. Then Zim spoke, "I can't." He choked. His knees trembled beneath him. He could barely support his suddenly massive weight. "It hurts too much." He wrapped his arms around himself in self comfort.

"Zim," Dib tried again. "I'm sorry." He closed the space between them. He didn't dare press up against him, but he did reach out and take Zim's arms in his hands. It was kind of half-assed, but it was the best he could do. "For everything." His eyes glistened with tears of their own. He really did feel bad. He meant it when he said he was sorry.

Zim drew in a shaky breath. It was nice. Still, it made him look even more pathetic than he already was. He couldn't afford that. He pulled away, glaring half heartedly at Dib from the corner of his eye. "Don't touch me." Really he wanted t Dib to hold him forever. The human's touch made him feel safe, as if for a moment his world wasn't completely shattered. He gave him a kind of hope that he'd never felt before.

Dib sighed. "Let me help you." He pleaded. He didn't move this time.

Zim turned ideas over in his head, weighing the consequences. Finally one came to him that was sickeningly horrible yet completely satisfying. "What if I asked for one thing?" He felt Dib's gaze intensify. "Would you give it to me?"

Dib licked his lips thoughtfully. "I don't know." He said warily. "That depends. I certainly wouldn't let you take over the world. You may be upset, but-"

"Not that!" Zim snapped. He sneered at the stupid human as he turned his head to see him a little better. "It's just…" He looked away. His eyes fell to the floor. "…I don't want to live anymore…" He said inaudibly as he peeked up. "So if I asked…would you kill me?" The backlash was incredible and came within the blink of an eye.

"WHAT!?" Dib sputtered. "No way! No way in hell! Are you freaking insane!?" He breathed heavily, his expression a mixture of shock, anger, and hurt. Each emotion was balanced perfectly. The anger was in his tone, the shock in his face, and the hurt in his eyes. "How could you even ask me that? No! I won't kill you! I'd never do that!"

Zim cringed at his harsh tone. His lip trembled. "Why not?" He whispered. "You said you wanted to help me. This will help."

"Don't be stupid." He scoffed. He scowled down at Zim. "It won't help anything! All it will do is take away the one person I-the one person I…" He tried to say it, but it kept getting stuck in his throat. He gritted his teeth.

Zim sniffled, wiping at his eyes. "The one person you what?" He came off as cold, but deep down he was hoping beyond hope that Dib would just say it already. He needed to hear this. Dib would never know how much, but he truly did need it.

Dib sighed heavily. "Zim," He again closed the space between them. This time however he didn't only use his hands. He let his body press against Zim's as he wrapped his arms around the little green alien in a warm embrace. He rested his chin on his shoulder and breathed deeply. "You're my friend." There. He said it. He finally made himself say it!

"You…" Zim didn't hurry to pull away this time. He leaned back against Dib and savored his comforting touch. Irkens weren't supposed to need such trivial things such as hugs or comfort. Then again, most Irkens weren't defects. And those that were usually wound up executed. "You mean it…?" But right now he didn't really care about the Irken laws. All he cared about was what he knew he was feeling, not what he was supposed to feel. So he allowed himself this one thing – the forbidden feeling of weakness to another, to an enemy.

"Yes." Dib nodded. "I know I'm not very good at showing it – you're not either – but I am your friend." It felt good and hurt to say it all at once. It was like a part of their dynamic was being ruined by his admission. "You should have known that, especially after that day in the rain." Still, it was true. This truth could not go unspoken forever. There eventually had to be a turning point. He just never thought it would be when they were still kids.

Zim nodded weakly. "Yes," He relaxed a little more. Now the tears that trickled down his face were from relief. "I suppose I knew it then too."

Dib was getting tired from supporting them both and slowly lowered them to the ground. He sat and then placed Zim between his legs. If they weren't kids they might have questioned the positioning. But as it was they were focused solely on the situation.

"And then I helped you." Zim said it almost bitterly. "I couldn't just ignore you." He scolded himself aloud. "If I had, maybe I wouldn't have stopped trying." He knew Dib knew what he meant.

Dib averted his eyes. "And maybe I would have noticed something was wrong." He murmured gravely. He felt Zim tense against him. "I'm sorry for that. So sorry."

Zim breathed deeply, trying to regain his calm. He didn't say anything. In a way he was afraid of what he might say. Just like Dib admitted to being his friend, he could do the same. He couldn't bear that. While knowing that, yes, they were friends was very comforting he refused to say it. He was still not willing to speak the truth. That would make him even more of an Irken disgrace. That would make him too close to a human, to Dib. Most importantly that would make him vulnerable, he would have a weakness, and with that weakness he would be compelled to protect Dib even in the most extreme cases. Perhaps he'd even give his own life. So no…he wouldn't be his friend. He couldn't afford it.

"Why'd you ask anyway?" Dib said after a time.

Zim perked. "Hm? What Dib-stink?"

"You want to die, you said. So why ask me? You should have known what the answer would be." He frowned deeply. "Why not just do it yourself. You looked like you were well on your way to accomplishing it anyway." He poked at Zim's ribs. "You're barely more than skin and bones."

Zim shuddered as Dib brought that back up. "Irkens…they aren't supposed to do…that." He breathed the word like a curse. "It's worse than anything else, worse even than being a defect." Mentioning that word also made him ache. He clenched his eyes tightly shut, forcing back sad sounds. "Even if I'm a defect, I don't want to be worthless…"

Dib stared sadly at him. "You're not worthless." He murmured. Dib tentatively reached up and stroked Zim's antenna. "No one is worthless." His eyes flashed with anger, anger toward the ones who condemned Zim. "It's only when you believe it that it becomes true. So don't believe it. Don't let what they think influence you."

Zim made a soft sound of pleasure. His eyes fluttered with the sensation. It was the equivalent of running fingers through a human's hair. It was nice. So as the boy soothed him he mulled his words over. He didn't know. Humans were different than Irkens. Perhaps humans could keep going even with no one there for them, but Irkens thrived on the approval of the Tallest. Being hated by them was the worst of fates.

Dib watched Zim carefully. He was usually easy to read. Right now though he couldn't be sure what the alien was thinking. He was too quiet, too pensive. It wasn't like him. Then again he did get the shock of his life when he was named a defect. How long ago was it? A few months? That was when he'd become depressed looking. That was when Dib had let him down.

"Dib…" He dared to call him by his name once more. "How do you do it?" He opened his eyes to stare blankly out toward the dusty window. He felt Dib shift slightly to no doubt look at him better. "How do you fight for those stupid pig smellies when you know they hate you?"

Dib smiled half heartedly. He should have seen this one coming. It was something he too wondered about a lot. Still he never did come up with a solid answer. It was complicated. "I don't know." He shrugged. "They don't really deserve it, do they?" He half laughed, trying in vain to lighten the mood.

"No." Zim growled through gritted teeth. "They are abominations." He seethed. "They're as bad as-" He stopped short, unwilling to compare such inferior beings to his Tallests.

Dib understood what he meant. "Still, they are my people." He sighed. "I can't just let them die. I mean, then what would I be? I'd be no better than them." He scowled. "And I refuse to stoop so low." He faded into silence for a time, thinking some more. Only after a few minutes did he say, "Besides, if I stopped protecting the world, I'd die too."

Zim hesitated. He soon gave in and said it. "No you wouldn't."

Dib perked. He eyed Zim curiously.

Zim decided he was done letting the human touch him. He moved away and turned around. Now he was facing Dib. He could easily stare deep into his eyes and read his every thought before it reached his lips. "I wouldn't let you."

Dib's eyes widened. The shock quickly faded, replaced by a faint smile. "Well then…I guess I do it because I know it's right. Like I said, they're my people. Betraying them would make me like them. And besides, they'll thank me one day." His smile grew. "They might not think so now, but when I save them they will."

Zim frowned. "What if they don't?"

Dib grimaced. "I…don't like to think about it." He averted his eyes.

"So you just…hope?" He made a face. "Such a silly human emotion." He scoffed. "Hope is just another form of lying. Hope guarantees nothing."

Dib chuckled softly. "It may not guarantee success. But it does guarantee momentary happiness in the 'what ifs'." His smile became almost sad. "It's how I make it through. Well…that and you." He saw Zim look away. "You also give me hope. Even if I know I'll never catch you, I can still hope that one day you'll prove my sanity."

Zim looked back at him. He was almost smiling now. "You're stupid." They both knew he didn't mean it one bit.

"So the best answer I guess is that it's wrong to betray them. It is my home after all."

Zim nodded vaguely. "I see." He gazed down at his hands. He stared intently as if they held the key to life. He wondered if it was the same for him. Even though threatened with death, should he still stand by them? They were his people, and he couldn't deny he still wished to prove himself to them. It was the same as Dib now. He was the same as Dib.

Dib watched him every moment of the silence. He didn't try to occupy himself by looking out the window or tracing his hands with his fingers. He just watched him. He didn't want to miss a beat. Zim seemed better, sure, but he didn't want to risk missing something vital that might affect Zim even now.

Finally the eerie silence was broken. Zim whispered, "What about me?" He brought his eyes back to Dib. They were watery again, but much better controlled. "What am I supposed to do now? They…they threatened me with death. Not even your people have done that."

Dib's eyes widened slightly. What was he doing? Was he really asking for his advice? No way. Dib could say anything, even if it was a lie. He could tell him he should turn his back on them and stay here…forever. Dib swallowed hard. Despite all the possibilities, he didn't direct him down any one path. He gave him three very real options. "I see three things that you could do."

Zim leaned in a little. It wasn't like his superior hearing would miss Dib's words. Still, he wanted to make extra sure. He'd never needed guidance like he did right now.

"Well, before I tell you them I suppose you'd need a little background." Zim's antenna flicked upward like a human's eyebrows. "I've been planning for months to attack your home – Irk." Zim's antennas flattened. He was obviously unhappy. "I pretty much have it all worked out by now. You know…since you've been leaving me alone recently." Dib laughed nervously, then coughed. "Anyway, you can handle it three ways."

Zim nodded stiffly. He still trusted Dib, but he wasn't as sure that he would like his options.

Dib took a deep breath. "One – you can go back to Irk at top speed and warn them about what I'm planning. If you do this they'll probably, from what I've heard anyway, capture you and sentence you to death. Maybe they'll laugh at you too for good measure." Zim's expression grew cold, but also hurt. Dib tried his best to ignore it as he went on. "Two – you can not tell them and just race back there to try and defend Irk all by yourself. Trust me though, the odds aren't in your favor. I've meticulously mapped out every step of the way. Even you won't be able to mess this up, not this time."

Zim's antenna's flattened further, if that was even possible. He did not like how Dib was putting him and his abilities down. Still, that was only two. He wanted to know the third and final course of action Dib was considering for him. So he kept his lips pressed firmly together, holding in a biting remark. He also held in sadness. Dib didn't realize it, Zim almost didn't either, but with each word his spirits fell. Dib's words very nearly stung as badly as the Tallest's.

"Or…" He licked his lips, thinking carefully about this. He knew the option already, that wasn't the issue. The issue was how Zim would react to it. After all this he couldn't be sure of much of anything concerning Zim. He was different now. He was scarred. "You could turn your backs on them. You could join me and destroy Irk, destroy the ones who made you feel this way."

Zim started. His eyes widened and heart skipped a beat. What? His mouth hung open slightly. Had he really just offered him such a thing? The Dib had just admitted he couldn't do it to his people, yet somehow he still expected Zim to do it to his home? Zim was more than slightly annoyed by that.

"I know I couldn't do it." His gaze hardened. He was all seriousness. "But can you?"

Dib's eyes bored into Zim's. Red eyes met brown ones. It was a hard choice. There were so many things that could go wrong on either side. But in the end there was only really one choice. No matter how it ended up, it was the way he had to go.

Dib lifted a hand and wiped at Zim's eyes. Traces of tears stained his face and lingered at the edges of his eyes. Dib collected them on his finger, hoping to wipe them away would mean to fix Zim a little more. He laughed in his head. Hope. Zim made fun of that along with a handful of other human emotions. Somehow Dib had come to love that too. Zim wasn't stupid and optimistic or hateful like the others. It was refreshing.

Zim snatched at his hand half way through the motion.

Dib started. He blinked in confusion at his…friend? Yes, friend.

Zim lowered Dib's hand. Once their hands were stretched an equal length between each other he let his grip loosen. He slid his hand up to Dib's and locked his fingers with the human. He squeezed gently, smiling. "Thank you." He allowed himself another weakness – gratefulness. Not like it mattered. He'd been weak enough to kill a normal Irken. What was one more on the list?

Dib recovered. He nodded slowly. "It was nothing." He smiled warmly at Zim. "It's what human friends are for."

Zim's smile brightened. Not like there needed to be a distinction though. He, like Dib, didn't have any other friends. No Irken wanted to get near him for obvious reasons and the humans did not include them in their hierarchy. Still, making distinctions was amusing because if he did have Irken friends that would not be what made them his friends. Only a human friend would act like Dib. No…not even humans. It was only Dib. "No…" He found himself speaking his mind. "It's what you are for. No human could do what you do."

Dib's smile stretched further. "You too. No other alien would be the same." As they locked hands Dib didn't need to hear him say it to know what Zim's choice was. It was obvious in his unnatural red eyes. He as his friend read it perfectly. There was only one choice Zim could have ever made. Finally, Zim understood.

Every writer/artist needs this hopelessly cliche plot in their collection. Yes, I know it's tried and a bit tired. Still I really wanted to do it. I love the idea. Hey, there's a reason it's cliche. It's amazing! I hope that I've put a bit of individuality into mine to make it stand out more than others though. What do you think?

I tried to leave it ambiguous. I think I kind of leaned one way over the other, but meh. You might not even see it the way I did. So it'd be kind of cool if you all would say which way you think Zim chose. Also, if you didn't notice, this was a bit of a set-up for the movie that was never made. You know, Dib would have been the invader. So I played on that aspect at the end.

Zim might be slightly ooc. It's your call. If you think so, please tell me. I love constructive criticism. And also, the food thing. I didn't know if Irkens needed to eat like humans or what. I know they basically don't need to sleep because of their paks, so I just had eating be the same. If it's wrong do tell. Please review!