It's dark. Dark and cold. My head... Hurts. I cant remember the last time there weren't scalpels in my head. The clicking machines still buzz and whirr in my ear. Every day I remember less and less. Where am I? Who's there? More darkness. I can hear them coming again. The confusion consuming me is numbed by fear. "Please, no more... It... Hurts..." I can't even tell if my futile plea even made it out of my head. I haven't been able to see for ever, but I can sense their syringes and scalpels poised over my head. When they're done, more of me will disappear until there's nothing left. I don't want to disappear. I don't want... Disappear...
I awake to the sound of steel creaking open, as if it hadn't been moved in centuries. Confused, dazed and disoriented, gloved hands push me to a sitting position. The metal table I've been lying on is cold and uncomfortable. I can hear someone talking to me, but the words are just a blur of unfamiliar sound. There's a throbbing pain in my head and I can't feel the tips of my fingers or toes. Slowly, parts of words begin to form. "Phase" "Experimental" "test" "2" None of it made any sense. Then, a voice like a gunshot fires next to my ear. "Can you stand?" I jolt my head away in surprise and panic, but only increase the pain in my head. Before I know it I'm being pushed from my seat on the metal table, that seems so much more preferable now, and onto the cold floor. I manage about a second before my legs buckle underneath me and I crash down, unable to support my own weight. I cry out at the agony that splits through me, but no one comes to help. In my panic, my mind and senses are in overdrive, the stainless white of everything is blinding me. People in masks tower over me, their hands stained with blood, some still holding scalpels. I try to use what little strength I have left to shrink away, but nothing more can be done when the sedative pricks my arm, and my mind shuts down.
They're still at it. More pain, more confusion. I may be sedated, but I can still feel it. Fingers and razor blades rooting around my brain, sticking things in my eyes. Every day I feel more and more like a different person. I'm scared. I'm so scared. What can I do? It still hurts. Screaming doesn't help. Pleading doesn't help. Just let me die. Please. I can feel them pulling apart what's left of me. Every piece of equipment, every gloved hand, it hurts so much. Just let me die.
There have been many improvements over last time. Some of the confusion has numbed and I can understand simple speech now. Apparently, there had been a couple of bumps along the way, but things are now progressing well. I can stand now and do some simple mathematical calculations. Equations, mostly. Everyone is so in awe when I do the smallest things. It can be quite disturbing, sometimes. I mean, it's only math, simple as that. But I do like how things come together. Everything works, or has an "=" at the end, everything balances out. Everything is just ordered in my head and from there, a conclusion or answer can be reached. Every time I solve a problem, I want to know more, understand more, do more. If there are no problems, all of that is not far away. I just have to get a little further.
I just want it to stop. What are they even doing to me. I... I can't even remember... my name... But I still know that I shouldn't be here. Being poked and prodded and stabbed. I can feel the end coming now. I'm going to cease to exist? I'm still scared. I... I don't want this. I never asked for this. I just want this to be over.
Things are going very well. I'm getting stronger and stronger every day and soon, My mind will be fully operational. Every day I can solve more and more problems, and not just mathematical ones, I can do a multitude of different things. They've got me doing exercises, and my body just seems to know what to do. The math problems just fit together in my head and writing comes out as a flowing stream of words. This isn't so bad. The people here, they look after me and I continue to learn and develop, just like I want, I need. Not only can I jut solve equations on the blackboard, but in real life, my deduction skills have improved ten fold. I can just see things huge and magnified as big as the grand canyon. The people here have started calling me Izuru. I can't remember my name at all, so I suppose that must be it. Some of the people have started speaking to me, talking to me normally, but they never tell me their names. They're nice people, I think.
I can understand a lot now. There are very few things I don't understand. I know that the people around me are doctors and the place I'm in is a research facility. No one told me, it was painfully obvious. The exercises they make me do are... Rudimentary, at best. A pre-schooler could solve them. Lately, I've been getting very bored. When the doctors are testing me, I just phase out. All I am constantly getting is, "Izuru, focus" or "Izuru, how can you get more intelligent if you don't pay attention?" but, honestly I couldn't care less. They can't teach me something I already know. Boring, boring, boring. But recently, there's been a girl who can get in. She doesn't look it, but she must be quite intelligent, to be able to enter the facility and all. She seems nice. She has a tendency to space out in the middle of a conversation, but that can be forgiven. I don't tell anyone about her because, based on my deductions, the researchers will punish her if they find out about her. I may be bored, but I would never, ever, hurt anyone.
How much time has passed? I thought I was already gone. For good. I can tell I'm not in any physical pain any more, but it feels like I have to fight, just to keep myself. I still can't remember my name. It's like there are two people living in this body, and I'm the one getting crushed.
A vaguely familiar throbbing pain has started in my head. I don't know what it is, and that is what scares me. That doesn't happen very often. My whole body is quivering. What the hell is going on? I cry out. Doctors come running. By this time, the quivering has increased to violent shaking and my head feels like a supernova is exploding inside it. No, it's more like something is trying to escape from my head. The doctors push me down on the metal table, I feel a needle in my arm, and I sink into a drug-induced sleep.
Where am I? I look all around, but there is only darkness. I'm sitting down and realise someone is sitting back-to-back with me. I turn to see who it is, but I don't recognise them. But if this is in my head, this must be him. The other entity inhabiting my brain. "So, this is it." He says calmly. "I suppose so." I reply quietly. I pull my head back and stare at the abyss above me. "You know, I don't want to disappear." I whisper. "Well, it's not like either of us have much of a choice anymore." I sigh. "Who are you, anyway?" Not expecting an answer, it surprises me when he replies. "Everyone keeps calling me Izuru Kamukura, but who knows if that's true." He turns and looks at me. "Well, you might. So who are you?" I think about it for a moment. My destroyed mind, coupled with my forcefully suppressed memories cant give an answer. "That's the problem really. I don't remember either." Izuru was right. This really is it.
I didn't know where I was, but I knew this person, this strange person, was the one that had been lingering in the back of my mind. I'm almost upset that I'll be loosing him, but I have to. There's no choice. I can now feel the doctors operating on me, even in this state. I know, this is the last I'll see of him. There's an almighty crack and the void begins to disintegrate around us. The man, the boy behind me begins to flicker like a candle on the verge of extinguishing. With this crack comes the sudden epiphany. "Your name!" I cry out. His form now shapeless, looking more like a wisp than a person. "It's, it's..." But I'm too late, the boy that shared this body with me, is gone. Now, I just feel cold and hollow, and like there's too much empty space. "Hajime... Hajime Hinata..." That was it. His name. I wonder if it could have helped, or at least comforted him in his final moments. I suppose, I'll be forgetting his name too soon. The pain still throbs in the back of my head, and I drift into unconsciousness. When I finally awake, she's there. The girl who can sneak in. For the first time, I really acknowledge her, what she looks like. Her giant, blonde, but slightly pink, pigtails stick out of her head. But what really attracts my attention are the hair clips. On one side, a white bear, on the other, a black one. She smiles sweetly at me and says, "How about you and I get to know each other a little better?"