"Toki? 'Ey Toki, you in there?" No response. "Toki, it's Pickles." The drummer knocked this time. "Toki!" Still nothing. After a whole minute of fidgeting, he decided to let himself in. "I-I'm coming in!" He announced as he opened the door and walked in. He glanced around the room and spotted the rhythm guitarist on the floor at the side of his bed. Toki happened to be sitting fetal position, head down near the wall. His long, brown hair resembling a waterfall as it rested against his forearms. The other man didn't budget as Pickles sat down on the bed next to him. There was a bit of an awkward silence since the two barely exchanged words at this moment.
Pickles had no idea Toki was hurting this much since after the Rock n' Roll Concert. He didn't see what happened but he had no idea that it hit him this hard. Damn Ofdensen! Damn him! Why couldn't he have just explained to him what happened to Toki instead of answering his damn phone? Although being dismissed by his manager that time wasn't anything to complain about but asking his other band members was a way better alternative since they were all there to witness it.
Skwisgaar was so hung up about Toki sitting in his room and refusing to speak, so he was very little help, Murderface just refused to comment on it. All there was left was Nathan since he and Skiwgaar saw it from start to finish. It was then Pickles understood. He was too wrapped up in kicking Rikki Kixx's ass onstage he didn't notice Toki was getting his hands bloody as well. He knew Toki was the most sensitive out of all of them and it wasn't metal to be anything like cute, sensitive and even caring, which is one of Pickles' weaknesses. He cared about Dethklok and he also cared about Snakes 'N' Barrels enough to go all the way to LA against the restraining order restriction and to give Rikki Kixx a piece of his mind or his fist, for that matter. He knew Toki was sitting in his room all this time since he didn't show up for rehearsal or recording. He just thought Toki was doing nothing again as usual but the way Ofdensen mentioned him, he got worried even mortified, like Seth took over the world sort of worried. The thought of that was also terrifying!
He sat there in silence, tapping his index finger against his knee. He grew anxious after sitting there that he started fidgeting again. He looked down at his lap and rubbed the nape of his neck as he thought of what to say. Then he glanced over at Toki, still the man did not move. You would think by now he'd start crampin up after sitting like dat for so long. Pickles thought to himself. Toki sat there, perfectly still Pickles was sure he was sleeping. Just the light rise and fall of the other's shoulders, the only sign of movement was his breathing. Maybe he was sleeping? Pickles wasn't sure.
"So uh, I heard from Natan you kicked some guy's ass at the concert, huh?" He chuckled. "I wish I coulda seen that. But man, the way I punched that guy! Oh, man! You think we could go fer a street brawl some time? I mean I know we don't do much together unless we were a band but..." His smile slowly faded when he looked back at Toki, not a single reaction, he didn't even utter a single word. He looked away, seeing as how it was probably pointless. "I just thought maybe I could help cheer you up, ya know? You've been sittin here all day doin nuttin' then when Ofdensen said he had to deal wit you, too, I got worried, okay? Then Natan said you raged out after dat guy pissed you off. You sure scared Murderface, though. Heh." The drummer realized this wasn't helping either as the guitarist continued to sit there in silence.
He sighed, "Look, I only came to check up on you. At least, give me a 'thank you' or sumthin fer doin this! I mean you aren't the only one who feels bad." As Pickles got up to leave, he felt a pull against his arm and looked down. Toki had grabbed him by the wrist, maybe he did have something on his mind after all.
Pickles sat down on the floor this time and Toki finally let go. Surprisingly, he began moving around this time but he remained seated on the floor except for his arms. He ran a hand through his hair while his other arm hugged his legs. "I don'ts think what I dos was right, Pickle. I didn't means to hits that guy. I just gots really angry. Dos you thinks what I did was bad?"
"Well, if a guy started shouting in my ear when I was in a concert, I'd punch him out, too." He shrugged. "Ain't nuttin wrong wit dat."
"Ohhhh... Pickle." Toki whined. "Ams in bigs trouble, I heards that the guy was in a coma, I punched hims so hard! When I hits him, I couldn'ts stop. I just hits him and then I keeps on hitting him. I don'ts knows what cames over me. Before I knows it, I saw bloods everywhere and I saws how scared Murderface, Skwisgaar and Nathans were! What haves I dones!?" The man was close to tears.
"Toki, it's nat yer fault!" The drummer reassured his band mate. "Shit happens, it was a mistake. Besides, he was asking fer a punch anyway by doin dat." He heard a sniffle come from right next to him. Toki looked back at him with tears in his eyes, he felt utmost regret and was frightened of himself. It was then that Pickles could see just how much it got to him. The bags under his eyes, the puffy redness from crying and he noticed Toki had gotten a bit thinner. Had he been eating okay since then? Why didn't Pickles notice it before? He and the band knew Toki had been here the whole time but he didn't think he would skip out on eating.
Toki had been hurting all this time and none of them had ever tried to talk to him except now. Possibly, Skwigaar getting angry with him didn't get him to open up and just made it worse on him. He had been through so much, losing his father, that concert and he figured maybe Skwisgaar had something to do with it somewhat.
"Whoa... Toki, calm down. There's no need to cry-"
"Don'ts needs to cry-I can't stands it anymore, Pickle! Every time I tries to sleep I just sees their faces, they must thinks I'm a monster or somethings! I don't likes it at alls! There was blood everywhere and then I hears him yellings at me again and I can't takes it!"
"Toki!" Pickles leaned close to him, cupping his cheeks. "Look at me."
Toki's eyes darted around before slowly making his gaze towards the drummer's green eyes. He was shaking a little, that much Pickles could tell. He looked back at Toki's blue eyes. It showed a lot more than what he expected. He could see the fear, the remorse and the tears of a broken man. But all at once, he felt his own heart breaking. His eyes softened and he spoke gently. "Toki, it's alright. I mean, it already happened. And I know it sucks dat you gotta see it in yer head over an' over, but it's nat the end o' the world. He moved his hands away from the other's face and smiled.
The guitarist smiled back slightly as he wiped his eyes. "Thanks, Pickle." Toki had been so worried about what was on his mind he just didn't feel up to anything, even smiling. He had been in his room for so long, he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten anything or showered for that matter so he probably reeked. Not that Pickles would mind. Although, he did feel a tad bit tired.
Relieved, he was glad that Toki had gone back into his usual self again. "You alright now?"
"Yes. I thinks I ams." He replied as he wiped his eyes again. They were starting to hurt after a while.
Pickles looked around the room and leaned back against the bed. He looked over and saw Toki's Deady Bear sitting by his pillow, he reached over and took the stuffed animal. "You'd think after sittin' here fer so long, he'd be bored."
"Oh, Deady Bear! Oh nos, I forgots about him! Ams sorry!"
"You, uh, maybe you should give him a hug, make you feel much better." He said and held the bear out to him. And when Toki attempted to reach for Deady Bear, He moves his hands and starts tickling the man's sides.
"Heehee! That's tickle!" Toki giggled and tried moving away from him, pressing his arms close against the tickling but failing miserably and laughing hard. "Hahaha! That's no fair! I...haha...needs...revenge...!" He said in between laughs and tried to get him back. Pickles chuckled as he watched the other squirm and lay flat on his back in a laughing fit.
Toki sighed and looked up at Pickles. He didn't know what came over him, but he was sure it felt different, so tempting that he could no longer help himself. With his heart racing, he leaned up and cupped his cheek, closing his eyes and pressing his lips against his own before slowly pulling away. Realizing what he had done, he laid back down and moved his hand away. His face was burning, he wanted to hide-to think it was such a great idea to suddenly kiss a band member like that, he couldn't imagine how the others would react. He might just get kicked out of the band for sure!
Pickles was startled, almost surprised at what just happened. The warmth of his breath, the heat from his cheeks and the softness of his lips. The way he moved away from the kiss was painfully slow, leaving him wanting more. It was wrong, totally wrong but...it felt right somehow. His heart was racing, his throat dry. He felt nervous, scared and excited all at once, every single part of his being was telling him to go for it. The sheer ecstasy of feeling his lips again was all he could think about. Slowly, he ran his fingertips up his forearm, leaving goosebumps blooming in their wake. He took his hand, interlacing their fingers together. He leaned in just enough for Toki to turn his head, feeling the warmth of his breath. Their eyes locked before leaning in for another kiss. It lingering for a moment, almost as if time itself had stopped. They pulled away only slightly, the hot breaths shared between them made the kiss more desirable. They slipped back into kiss, the intensity made them eager but they pulled away. There was no way they could have gone that far, especially not here. He moved away and laid down right next to him.
Toki smiled and rolled onto Pickles's chest, hugging tightly. He nuzzled against his neck.
"Okay, now dat tickles." He shivered.
"But you haves more, you gots a actual beard," Toki pointed out as he lay against his chest, listening to the sound of his beating heart. It seemed to speed up only slightly after the kiss before gradually slowing down to its normal rate. The more he listened, the more relaxed he became. They laid there in comfortable silence until Pickles was sure the brunet was asleep this time and indeed he was. After days of missing sleep, he deserved it. Pickles held him close, placing Deady Bear right by Toki. He stared at the ceiling until he himself had fallen asleep.
"Do we have to do thisch? I mean, I know thisch isch Toki we're talking about but are we really...? I mean, really." Murderface protested, crossing his arms. All three of them were standing outside Toki's room.
"I shouldn't really care or anything but might I remind you: when was the last time we've ever seen Toki?" Nathan asked.
"Uhhhh...never?"
"I woulds rather not sees him again!" Skwisgaar ranted. It took some convincing but they finally got him to come with them to talk to Toki. It wasn't in them to actually care about each other but for the sake of the economy there was no other way of doing it.
"You know, maybe the reason why he wasn't talking to you, Skwisgaar, was because you're shouting." Nathan pointed out.
"No, ams not!" Skwisgaar argued.
"You're yelling right now like..."
"NO!"
"Are you mad?"
"NO! YOU AMS MAD!"
"Oh, geez! We'll be here all night with you two idiotsch going at it back and forth! Let's just go in and get it over with!" Murderface insisted as he opened the door and froze. He simply stood there.
"Murderface?"
He didn't answer.
"Dude." Nathan pushed him aside and glanced down at the display shown before them, Toki and Pickles asleep on the floor. They were huddled so close together with their arms wrapped around each other, it seemed almost intimate.
"What the fucks are you twos doings? Just gos insides already!" Skwisgaar commanded, trying to shove the other two inside but then got a peek at what they were seeing. He felt rather upset that Toki had spoken to Pickles but not him and he was the first to try and talk to today but this wasn't anything Skwisgaar was okay with.
"OH FUCKS YOU, TOK-!" He was cut off mid sentence as Nathan covered his mouth and quickly shut the door.
"Nathans, whats dos you thinks you're doings? Why is Toki and Pickle..?"
"Skwisgaar, you're not...jealous of Pickles, are you?" Nathan wondered.
"No, ams not! I ams first person that tries talkings to Toki and he ignores me, I ams beings nice talkings to him and he acts likes a fucking dildos doings nothings likes he does always!"
Murderface and Nathan smirked at each other and looked back at the blond. "You're jealous~!" Nathan sang as he walked past him.
"Oh, fucks you, Nathans, ams not! It's just unfairs, you knows?"
"Yeah, sure..." Murderface rolled his eyes and followed.
"Ams not!"
"Hey, do you think Toki and Pickles are...you know?" Murderface whispered.
"Are what, gay?" He replied. "I mean I really don't care as long as it doesn't affect us in anyway, I mean it's whatever, we're Dethklok."
The idea of the fic was inspired by the song, Stay by Nesta Rae. One of my fave songs for one of my otps, Tickles(Toki/Pickles). :D This is my take on the episode, Snakes n Barrels II. (Well it's more like the aftermath.) Also, still working on my Yotsuba no Basuke fic, if any of you are following that one are reading this somehow. Next chapter is coming soon, so don't worry! I got a job now so I'll probably take a while on writing. sorry about that.