- - This is here do to the insisting of my friend Lucas. He really wanted it posted. I don't own Naruto (and affiliated characters) or Beauty and the Beast- -
When the Akatsuki talk with long italic parts, then that's them singing.
It was another day in the Akatsuki—but very much different! Kisame had noticed….. Itachi was sad. He let out a big gasp. I mean, he's supposed to be the cold, soulless brother of Sasuke. And anyone without a soul can't be sad, can they?
Kisame: Itachi…. are you… SAD!?? Is it possible you still have a soul…. And are regretting your evil deeds!??
At this point, Itachi gets defensive and punches Kisame, sending him spinning.
Itachi (huffy): of course not, you ass! I miss doing MORE evil deeds!!
Kisame (nearly in tears): I see, sir… sorry sir…
Itachi: assemble all of the Akatsuki!!
Sasuke (no one knows how he got here): what about me!??
Itachi: GET OUT!!
Later… all of the Akatsuki have come forth.
Deidara: look at him!...
Tobi: what should we do?
They all then have a wonderful, spontaneous idea. They could use song to cheer the poor man up.
Kisame: Itachi, you've got to pull yourself together!
Itachi: …
Kisame: gosh it disturbs me to see you Itachi, looking so down in the dumps!
Itachi: …?
Kisame: every guy here'd love to be you, Itachi, even when taking your lumps!
Deidara/Tobi/Zetsu/Sasori/Sasuke(??): YEAH!!
Kisame: there's no man in town who's admired as you
Deidara: you're everyone's favourite guy!!
Sasori: everyone's awed and inspired by you…
Kisame: and it's not very hard to see whyyyyy…NOOOOO ONNNNNE'S…slick as Gaston! No one's quick as Gaston! No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston!
Itachi: I thought this was about me… but the name's now been switched…
Tobi: but there's no man in town half as manly.
Zetsu: perfect—a pure paragon!!
Sasori: you can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley…
Kisame: and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be onnnn…
Sasuke: Orochimaru:D
The Akatsuki, not wanting Itachi to steep farther into depression, react to this statement.
Sasuke (wails): NOOOOOO!!!
They all jump on top of poor Sasuke and continue singing.
Kisame/Deidara/Sasori/Zetsu/Tobi: NOOOOO ONNNNNE'S…
Tobi: been like Gaston!
Deidara: a king pin like Gaston!
Kisame: no one's gotta swell cleft in his chin like Gaston!!
Itachi (now boastful): as a specimen, yes I'm intimidating!!
Deidara (thinking this): yes! He's starting to feel better!!
Sasori: my, what a guy, that Gaston!
Tobi: give five "hurrahs"!!
Deidara: give twelve "hip-hips"!
Kisame: Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!!
Itachi: ah hahahahahahaha hahhhh…….yes!!
Sasori/Deidara: NOOOO ONNNNNE…
Kisame (trembling): fights like Gaston
Itachi: ha! sharingan!!!
Sasuke: don't kill our family! (Too late)
Tobi: douses lights like Gaston
Zetsu (whose getting bitten in the arm my Itachi): in a wrestling match no body BITES like Gaston!
Deidara/Kisame: for there's no one as burly and brawny!
Itachi: as you see, I've got biceps to spare!!
Kisame: not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
Itachi: that's right. And every last inch of me's covered in hair!! (eww)
Deidara: no one hit's like Gaston
Tobi: Tobi heart's Itachi!!!!
Sasori (using his puppet to play a chess match against Itachi): matches wits like Gaston
Kisame: in a spitting match no body SPITS like Gaston!!
Itachi: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooie!!
Deidara/Zetsu (holding signs with tens on them): ten points for Gaston!!
Itachi (singing to Sasuke): when I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large!
Sasuke: oh boy! Itachi-nii-san's childhood!!
Itachi: and now that I'm grown I eat FIVE dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a baaaaarge!!
Deidara: he's…uh…really getting into this…
Sasori/Zetsu/Tobi: NOOOOO ONNNNE…
Itachi gives Sasuke an evil, clever smile. Sasuke is quite taken aback and confused, that is… until the next line of the song…
Kisame: shoots like Gaston!!
Sasuke: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Itachi: eh heh heh heh heh heh!…
He throws ninja stars, which luckily just misses our Sasuke.
Deidara (continues with the song): makes those beauts like Gaston!
Tobi: then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston!
Itachi: oh yes…my hunting boots…
Sasuke: gah!! You killed our family wearing those!! (Well, Sasuke's really not having the best time here!...)
Itachi: I use antlers in all of my decorating!!
Zetsu/Tobi: my, what a guy…
Everyone: GAAAAAASTOOOOOON!!
Itachi: well, that was a lovely song…BUT WHAT THE HELL IS MEANING BEHIND ALL THIS "GASTON"!?? EH? EH???
Kisame/Deidara: don't kill us!!...
- -I've discovered how hard it is to type Kisame's name……I keep almost spelling my own name. It got very annoying- -