TITLE: Sunscreen Saved My Life
AUTHOR: Verb
RATING: T, for some "minor suggestive adult themes" and a little (strike that) a lot of UST. Do you know how long it took me to figure out what UST meant? It's embarrassing. And I still don't know what PWP means.
CATEGORY: Mostly humour, with a little romance of the above mentioned UST variety
SUMMARY: Years ago, my Calculus teacher claimed that, some day, math would save my life. I though she was wrong. Little did I know just how much.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable Stargate SG-1 characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was or are intended. This story and other publicly unrecognized events or characters therein are copyrighted to the author and may not be used or reproduced in entirety or in parts without express permission of the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey everybody, long time no see! Thanks for sticking around and seeing what's new. I just want to thank you guys for all the great reviews and positive feedback I got from my last story, Dinner & Dessert. So much so, that I decided to write a prequel of sorts, kind of a "What did happen on that off world mission?" It would probably help for you to read that other story first, but I don't think it's required. Either way, I hope you enjoy this one – and feel free to drop me a review with some comments.
Chapter 1 - Snore Inducing
"Welcome back, SG1."
Dr. Elizabeth Weir allowed herself a small smile as she greeted the SGC's premier team in much the same way her predecessor had. She stood at the bottom of the gate ramp, happy to see that this time around, no one had been injured.
"Thanks, Doctor. Good to be back." Colonel, soon to be Brigadier General Jack, O'Neill said as he passed off his weapon to one of the waiting airman. "Most boring planet we've been on in a while."
"That's not true, Jack!" Daniel cut in.
"Well, ok, not for the science geeks it wasn't boring," Jack agreed. "But there are only so many times Teal'c and I can secure our camp site before we get really bored."
Samantha Carter gave her CO a look. "Actually, sir, the area was surprising rich in-"
"Why don't we save the details for the debriefing?" Dr. Weir interrupted what she knew had the potential to be a very long winded answer. "I'll meet you all upstairs in an hour."
"Yes Ma'm." Chorused Sam and Jack.
"Elizabeth!" Weir called out behind her as she made her way back to the control room.
"I'm never going to be able to call her that." Jack said as he led his team down the gate ramp.
"You know, sir, you and Teal'c could have helped me with the soil analysis instead of being so bored," Carter pointed out as the four of them walked out of the gate room towards the elevators.
"I doubt very much that we would have been of any assistance, MajorCarter," Teal'c spoke as he strode down the corridor.
"Yeah, considering those 'soil samples' were actually 'sand samples'." Jack unconsciously brushed off his uniform as if sweeping for stray sand particles stuck to his uniform. "Besides, I can't tell my core samples from my meteorites."
Sam smiled as she swiped her access card when they arrived at the elevator. "Still, it would have been more helpful than playing 'Hide the rock from the archeologist' for hours on end, sir." Upon entering the elevator, she punched the button for level 25 then turned around, expecting Daniel to jump in with a comment. Instead, she found a very pensive look on his face, his eyes downcast and glued to the floor as the elevator moved. "Daniel?"
Daniel's head snapped up, and he gave Sam an apologetic smile. "Sorry. What?"
"You ok? You looked a little lost there."
"Yeah, no, I'm fine," he reassured her. "Just making a list of the books I'm going to need if I'm right about the language we found. It's probably an Ancient derivative, but from what I could copy down I'm fairly sure it's got some roots it what looks like an older form of-"
"Ack!" Jack cut him off as the elevator jolted to a stop and the doors opened. "Save it for the debrief, ok? Shower's first, technobabble later."
Daniel rolled his eyes as they stepped into the corridors of level 25. "Well, I think I'm going to need some help on this one. Anyone know if SG-14 is still off world?"
"I believe they are scheduled to return in approximately two hours," Teal'c replied.
Sam shot her friend a puzzled look. "SG-14? But they're a Marine unit. Why would you-" The rest of her sentence cut off as a moment of clarity hit. "Wait, doesn't Dr. Webber serve as their linguist and archeologist?"
Daniel tried to sound impassive. "Yeah, she does."
Jack held up his hand as if asking permission to speak. "Dr. Webber? That cryptographer you hired a few months ago?"
Daniel shrugged in an attempt to distract the other from noticing the blush rapidly creeping up his skin. It didn't work. "Yeah, she has an office on the same level as the rest of my department."
"Wait," Sam turned to face Jack. "Wasn't she the one who gave that slideshow presentation when you insisted on interviewing her?"
Jack snapped his finger. "Yeah! Something about all her stuff being in Colorado already."
Sam laughed. "Yeah, Abbie Webber. She's really nice. Smart too – she's been having lunch with Janet and me since she started working here."
"I too have shared lunch with AbbieWebber," Teal'c added. "She was greatly concerned about her ability to assist your department, DanielJackson."
"Really?" Daniel's eyes grew a bit wide, surprised to learn one of his best staff members had reservations about her work. "She never mentioned that."
"Probably because she didn't want her boss to know that she was nervous about being able to do her job," Sam pointed out. "She still worries about being a liability on off world missions when she goes to collect archeological data."
Daniel processed this new bit of information. Abbie had been nothing short of brilliant in the months since she had been hired to be his second in command, so to speak. She ran the linguistics department when he wasn't able to do so, and was an amazing cryptographer and archeologist in her own right. Her work with a language SG-14 had encountered on a planet had proved invaluable while Daniel had been working with the tablet SG-2 had found on P3X-439.
In fact, she was the only civilian that SG-14 would allow off world with them. Major Anthony Torres lead SG-14, the toughest group of Marines the SGC had ever seen. It had taken almost two years to convince Torres to let a civilian on the team, let alone a female archeologist who's sole mission it was to poke around for signs of civilization, past and present. But Torres and the rest of his team had developed a bit of a soft spot for Abbie, whom they affectionately referred to as 'Nash', and had requested that she become their official off world archeologist. Daniel couldn't believe that Abbie felt she put her fellow teammates in danger. "She can't believe that."
Teal'c inclined his head. "It is true, DanielJackson. It is probably similar to the feelings you expressed in our earlier ventures as a team."
"Although you have to admit, asking Kershaw which end the bullets go in was pretty funny." Jack grinned. "So, any particular reason you need Dr. Webber's help and not, say, Dr. Swanson's?"
"Uh, well, you know . . ." Daniel mumbled around his words a little under the intense scrutiny of Sam's gaze. "She's a walking Latin dictionary and it would be helpful for someone to go over my work."
"Plus," Jack added with an air of feigned innocence. "If I remember correctly, she's also really hot."
Teal'c looked over at the young archeologist. "It would appear that is the case, O'Neill."
"Knew it!" Jack slapped a now flushed Daniel on the back. "You sly dog – trying to score some quality time with a good looking woman on the pretense of work. I've taught you well."
"It's not like that, Jack." Daniel tried to sound as convincing as possible. "Dr. Webber is incredibly good at what she does, and since I know you'd rather not be dragged back to P3X-459, she can help me with the translation I brought back so you won't have to."
Sam nodded in agreement. "Maybe Dr. Weir will let you and Abbie go back to '459 and check out that temple that we didn't have time to explore."
"Yeah, that would be nice." Daniel admitted. Though which he found more appealing, the going back to the planet for more research or the spending more time with Abbie, he couldn't say for sure.
"Well, either way, I'm sneaking a Gameboy in my pack if we end up there again," Jack announced. "But all in good time. Shower first, then briefing, and then boredom." The four teammates stopped in front of the locker rooms.
"Come on, Jack," Daniel rolled his eyes. "It's not like you pay much attention anyway. You're usually too busy doodling."
"I am not!" Jack declared in mock outrage. "I find your debriefings very . . ."
"Fascinating?" Sam supplied helpfully.
"Snore inducing." And with that, he disappeared into the men's locker room.
"Do not worry, DanielJackson." Teal'c paused before entering the change area. "I will ensure his attention remains on the task at hand."
"Thanks, Teal'c." Daniel grinned at the Jaffa. "Though I'm not sure that'll do any good." He turned to Sam. "Think you could meet me in my office before the briefing? I've got some partial translations I may need your help with."
"Sure." She pulled open the door to the women's locker room. "Meet you there in 15 minutes?"
Daniel nodded. "15 minutes." Sam gave him one last smile as she disappeared into the change room.
A/N It's probably important for me to mention that this story is supposed to take place in that bit of time where Weir was still in charged of the SGC, before she goes to the Ancient outpost in Antarctica and when Jack takes command as a General. I know that time was kind of glossed over in the show, but for my purposes it took some time. The bureaucracy moves a lot slower then you'd think!