A/N: Woohoo 7/50 of the 50Shuffle Challenge. Aren't you lucky?

Don't answer that :P

This song is 'When You're Gone' by The Cranberries. I sense angst, not necessarily good but angsty ^^

I wish you were here right now; I wish that you could comfort me and tell me why, when everything was starting to go so well for us and the Order, you left me. I need you Siri, I always have done and I always will.

What do I have now that you're gone?

Our photographs? They are nothing in comparison to the real you. I need to remember you animated and alive; seeing you frozen, clutched within the confinements of a thin sheet of glass does nothing to ease my grief and the guilt that I couldn't save you.

My memories are no use to me either. What use is it seeing you, hearing you, if I cannot touch you? It's torment. The sheer sadness and loss I feel has clouded my mind so much so that even if my memories sufficed, I would not see you as you truly were.

Dumbledore has allowed me to use his pensieve but I know I can't. There would be nothing more painful than to relive our precious years together, to watch the way we were in our younger days, and then return to this moment in time where you no longer exist.

You took up so many years of my life, so much of my being that now you're gone I cannot function.

I am empty.

There is such a huge void in my heart and soul, in every fibre of my being, that I can't understand how it's possible for just one person to have such an impact on my life.

What did you do to me all those years ago to make me so helpless, so defenceless and vulnerable without you?

I know I cannot blame you. You weren't intending to leave me; you were just trying to help Harry and his friends, trying to prove your innocence and loyalty to the Order but it ended in a way that no-one could envisage, a way no-one wanted it to.

I can still recall the look on your face as the spell hit you. You looked so lost, so isolated and frightened I wished I could fall through that veil with you. If only I could have been near you, put my arms around you and taken the curse for you. It's the least I could have done to repay you for all you have given me.

I guess I have no way of showing you how much you have done for me, how much you meant to me or how much I loved you now. Not now that you're gone.

A/N: Big thanks to xlightfromabovex who helped me with this one when I was failing badly xD Cheers hubby. Her ideas were great but I screwed them up by writing them myself so blame me xD ^^