A/N: Hey guys! This is my I'm-so-sorry-I-haven't-updated-in-so-long apology fanfcition! It's kind of angsty, so for those emotional people out there (like myself), prepare a box of tissues.
This fan fiction coincides with Jessica Mitch's 'The Hanover Boy' which is a fan fiction of CP Coulter's 'Dalton' which is a fan fiction of Glee. So, this is a fanfic of a fanfic of a fanfic of a TV Series. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, to know what's going on, you have to have read 'The Hanover Boy' and again, before you do that, you'd have to read 'Dalton'. But trust me, it is totally worth it! Both stories are amazingly awesome! I could never compare to them, but I could try, right?
Anyways, please enjoy! This story happens somewhere after Derek leaves. In Dalton world, I'm assuming things go back to where Derek first arrives, before New Year's. It's the day after Blaine takes Kurt to Radio City Music Hall and the morning before Kurt and Reed goes shopping and coincidentally meet Logan (Chapter 14 & 15). This story continues to 'The Hanover Boy' Alternative Ending 2: CP Coulter (Chapter 21).
Disclaimer: Glee? No. 'Dalton'? No. 'The Hanover Boy'? No. Only thing I own here, is the plot...
Evan woke up, clutching his white pajama shirt, eyes wide and mouth gaping. For a while, he stared forward, not sure what just happened. Then, he looked around. He was in his and Ethan's room in their New York apartment, two days from the New Year. Automatically, his hand reached down in search for his twin. As he felt his twin clutch back at his hand, he looked down to see his twin awake. And crying.
"Oh, Ethan," Evan whispered, not sure why he was doing so. He snuggled back into the covers and wrapped his arms around his silently crying twin. "It's ok. It's going to be ok," he assured, not knowing exactly what he was assuring about but knowing that they were both thinking the same thing.
They both felt this giant gaping hole in their hearts. As if someone had came and fill their hearts but suddenly left without them even realizing.
"E-Evan," Ethan stuttered, his tears finally ceasing.
"Yeah, I feel it too," Evan answered, knowing what his brother was going to ask. It's a twin thing.
"It's as if-"
"-there's something-"
"-missing, but we-"
"-don't know what."
They fell into the familiar lull of completing each others' sentences, hoping that would at least comfort them somehow. It didn't.
"Derek," Ethan whispered suddenly.
"Derek?" Evan repeated. A little tiny metaphorical voice was somewhere in his brain, screaming at him to remember, remember him. But a second later, it was gone, replaced by the over-ruling logistics. "Derek Seigerson from Stuart?"
"I- No. I don't know," Ethan answered in frustration, clutching at his temples as if in pain.
"Shhh. It's ok," Evan tightened his hold on his beloved twin, wanting to bang his head against something solid himself. "I don't know what's going on, but I promise, everything's going to be alright," Evan reassured Ethan. The blonde murmured a positive response but stayed quiet otherwise.
After a moment of silence, Ethan spoke up again. "Evan… Why- why are we feeling like this? Like there's a hole in our h-hearts? How can something so… important happen but we can't even remember?"
"I don't know, Ethan," Evan answered honestly. Again, they lapsed into silence. Slowly, the usual morning noises filled the air. The sound of cars and traffic below. Somewhere in their apartment, the sound of their friends waking up and getting ready for the day. They distinctively heard the little Dormouse exclaiming in pain as he greeted Alice. But at that moment, they couldn't really give a damn.
"Hey, Evan."
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea."
"That song?"
"Avril Lavigne?"
"Now?"
"Let's do it."
And just like that, without planning or even thinking about it. They opened their mouth and started singing.
Na na
Na na na na na
I miss you
Miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
They let out their feelings. Their frustration. Their desperation. They miss him. But they don't know who he is. All they know is that there's a hole in their heart that was somehow mysteriously left there while they slept.
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
Oh
Na na
Na na na na na
It was as if someone had pluck one part of their memory and replaced it with nothingness. They felt violated.
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
I hope you can hear me
Cause I remember it clearly
They didn't even remember if they said goodbye. What if that person they miss so much is somewhere out there, crying for them?
I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake it
It happened you passed by
They know that this feeling they had, whatever it was, was real. This pain, the anguish of losing something you might never get back. It can't be fake. And the blank slate of memories that they can't seem to recall was filled with empty canvases splashed with unexplainable emotions of joy, happiness and love. Whatever it was they were feeling. It can't be fake.
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere you're not coming back
By now, they were both practically sobbing, their soft and gentle voices interrupted by sobs and sniffs, but they kept singing. Because that was the only way they could express themselves without potentially harming themselves, or someone else.
Na na
Na na na na na
I miss you
The final note hung in the air, strained voices trying to keep up but failing miserably. The two blondes hugged each other tightly, not wanting to let go of that beautiful yet sad feeling of that one person they can't remember. They can remember being happy. They can remember having a lot of fun with this person. They can remember being in love. But they also remember the pain that came along with those wonderful feelings. And they just can't explain, but God, they missed him.
"Evan, Ethan?" Kurt knocked on the Tweedles' door hesitantly. Dwight had reported 'sobbing and creepily sad singing' coming from their room. The others, having heard Dwight rambling about it as well, crowded behind him, worry and concern obvious on their faces. They had followed Kurt to the twins' room, wanting to confirm Dwight's suspicions. And sure enough, they arrived in time to hear the last few lines of 'I Miss You' by Avril Lavigne echoing through the wooden door. The twins were not known for crying, much less sobbing, or for singing morbidly sad songs. They were the Tweedles for God's damn sake! Whatever was wrong must be serious.
"Evan, Ethan. Are you guys ok?" Kurt knocked again. Sniffs could be heard from behind the door, which alarmed the others even more. "Guys, can we come in?" Kurt asked as loudly as he dared, not wanting to spook the twins. And wow, that just sounded so wrong because how could the twins ever be spooked?
A moment of tension-filled anticipating silence passed. And just when Kurt was about to knock again, a muffled "Come in," was heard. Uncertainly, Kurt turned the doorknob and opened the door. When he stepped in, he resisted the urge to gasp.
The twins were not laying in bed anymore, but they were sitting on it though. It was obvious from their puffy eyes that they've been crying, but from their awkward smiles, it was also obvious they were trying to pretend everything was alright. And everything not alright.
Dwight was the first to move. He had no idea why he did it, and he will later insist that it was a hunter's instinct. But in reality, it was because something in him was saying 'this is all your fault.'
Everyone was surprised when Dwight stepped forward and hugged the twins. No one was more surprised than the twins themselves, they stood shell-shocked for a second before coming to their senses and hugged their White Knight back. And for some odd reason, they leaned down and told him quietly, "This is not your fault."
Reed was the next to run forward, almost tripping himself in the process. Seeing the twins like that, and hearing the song. His mind tugged at him, telling him that he's forgotten something very important and that something is now gone. He joined the group hug, tears falling silently.
Slowly, one by one, the others joined in. Some, not knowing why but wanted to give their friends support. Others, for some reason felt the same pain. Not as much as the twins, but they could feel a distinct feeling of emptiness. As if they were all missing something.
And for ten solid minutes, they stayed like that. Comforting each other for something they can't even remember. But the important thing is, they were going through it together and maybe, hopefully, remember again.
Somewhere, in the mind of a small Asian girl, a part of her was dying. She saw and felt the emotions of her characters. Her creations. It broke her heart feeling like this. Determined, she knew what she was going to do.
She was going to bring Derek Breaker back. No matter what it takes.
A/N: So...? What do you guys think? This sort of came to me while I was randomly (wasting my life) sifting through Youtube. I heard the song 'I Miss You' by Avril Lavgine and instantly thought of this scenario. It was bizzare. Go listen to it, you'll know what I mean.
Review to let me know what you think! People who review deserves cookies and milk!