MY ATTEMPT AT HUMOR… ENJOY!
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"Kagome?"
"Yes Inuyasha?"
"I love you."
Kagome coughed, half of her meal spilling down her front. Bravely, she met the eyes of her hanyou who was staring so intently at her. She gasped.
"What…what did you say?"
He sighed, slightly frustrated. "I said I love you… okay?"
She blinked. "Oh…then I guess I did hear you right…"
"Damn right you did…" he said gruffly and she giggled. Silence stretched on, neither of them speaking. It was quite uncomfortable actually…
"So…"
"Yeah…"
"Maybe I should say more…" Inuyasha insisted. Kagome cocked an eyebrow.
"Alright…if it will make you feel better…you don't have to though…"
"But I want to." He repeated. She smiled.
"Okay…" she said slowly. He grinned broadly before taking her hand in his, holding it tenderly. He cleared his throat.
"Kagome…from the moment I met you, I knew that you were the one woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with…"
"You tried to kill me you dolt…" Kagome replied dryly. Inuyasha gulped.
"Uh...well…sorry about that. Guess I should apologize for that…Well… actually, let's forget about the past and focus on the future. Okay?" Inuyasha half pleaded. Kagome sighed, before nodding. He continued.
"Anyway…I know that in the past, I've made mistakes. Like with Kikyou. I know you hated it when I left you and I hated it too, but now I understand that the Kikyou I once loved was dead long ago-"
"I thought you said we should forget the past…"
"Don't interrupt. I need to get this off my chest."
"Right…sorry." Kagome said sincerely.
"I felt nothing but obligation toward her before. I was in love with Kikyou, but now I am IN love with you…Please understand this Kagome, I can't live without you. I need you. You belong here, by my side. I love you." Inuyasha finished with a smile. Kagome returned his smile. Her eyes shined with happiness.
"Oh Inuyasha… I love you too!" she cried, embracing him tightly. He embraced her back eagerly. They stood like that for a few seconds, merely enjoying the moment, until…
"I feel like I'm forgetting something…" Inuyasha commented.
"It does feel a little unfinished…" Kagome agreed. Inuyasha nodded. He released her and reached in to his robes to pull out a few sheets of paper. Reading, and flipping through them, he suddenly smacked his forehead, cursing his stupidity.
"Shit…I knew I forgot something…can we try this again?"
"Just say what you forgot." Kagome said patiently. He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Okay…well Kagome…from the moment… no wait I said that…" He flipped over to the next page of notes. "Here we go…you complete me Kagome. When I am with you, I always feel so happy. You have accepted me for who I am and have always been by my side. In return, I promise to protect you with my life. If you died, or left me, I would die without you. I love you so much that it hurts. I love you more than life itself."
He paused. "Oh and I want you to marry me…" He added, before looking at her expectantly. She stared confused.
"What?"
"Uh…" his eyes darted back to his notes. "Well… you're supposed to be crying right now…"
"I am?"
"Yes." He stated firmly. "You cry, I ask you 'why are you crying wench?!', you say they are happy tears, I tell you that I hate to see you cry, and you laugh happily." He explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Do I have to?" Kagome said tiredly.
"It would be nice… I mean… we have to follow the confession scenes that those fan girls have developed for us. We can't exactly disappoint them…" Inuyasha said sincerely. Kagome shrugged and nodded her head. Tears suddenly sprang in to her eyes and the two of them quickly jumped in to their crying script. Afterwards, Kagome wiped the remaining tears in her eyes.
"Is that all you have written?" she inquired, leaning over to read his papers.
"Not everything…" Quick as a flash, he leaned over, planting a quick kiss on her lips. Her eyes widened in response before she eagerly returned the kiss with as much passion as a three second kiss would allow. He pulled away, licking his lips.
"Okay…we're done."
Kagome sighed lovingly. "This is the best day of my life. I love you so much Inuyasha! Now we can finally get married…"
"Inuyasha and Kagome are getting married!" Three voices of unison suddenly shouted before emerging out the bushes.
"Right on cue…" Inuyasha remarked. He cleared his throat before setting a scowl on to his face. "Were you guys spying on us?!" he yelled.
Miroku grinned sheepishly. "Forgive us Inuyasha…"
"Yeah…we are just so happy for you both!" Sango said cheerfully.
"It's about time…" Shippo piped up.
"Keh…" Inuyasha replied, his cheeks tingled with a pink glow. Kagome suddenly gasped. Inuyasha jumped in shock.
"What is it!? What's wrong!?" he cried, looking toward his panicking fiancé.
"Inuyasha…" Kagome began. "If we get married, we need to follow tradition. What's our last name going to be?"
The group froze, this sudden realization dawning on them. They all turned toward Inuyasha who was at a loss for words.
"Do you even have a last name?" Shippo questioned.
"Keh. To hell if I know…" he replied honestly. He really had no idea what his last name was...
"Perhaps you could use your last name Kagome?" Miroku suggested. Kagome bit her lip, pondering such an idea.
"Inuyasha Higurashi…" she thought out loud, but then shook her head. "No, it just doesn't seem to roll right…"
"I agree…" Sango said. "Are you sure you can't remember what your last name is Inuyasha?"
He scoffed. "I already told you. I don't know what my last name is. Who's to even say that I had a last name to begin with? The topic has never really come up in those non AU stories…" he pointed out intelligently. The grouped nodded in recollection.
"Maybe we can think of some last names for you, Inuyasha." Kagome offered. Murmurs of agreement filtered throughout the group as they brainstormed some idea names. Inuyasha merely stood there, his arms crossed as he waited patiently for them to think. Finally, they looked up at him.
"Okay… hit me." Inuyasha exclaimed.
"Nakamura?" Nope.
"Morimoto?" Nope.
"Miyasaki?" Nope.
"Hiroshima?" Nope.
"Yamaguchi?" Nope.
"West?" Inuyasha growled, turning on Miroku.
"The hell Miroku? Can't you think of some better names?"
Miroku huffed. "I thought they were pretty good names…"
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "As if…" Another thought suddenly came to him. "Oi monk, what's your last name?"
The monk in question stroked his chin thoughtfully. "If memory serves, I do recall some people calling me Miroku Houshi."
"Houshi?"
"Yes."
"Doesn't that mean monk in Japanese?"
Miroku nodded proudly, but then paused. "Wait, aren't we speaking Japanese right now?"
"No, we are speaking English…" Kagome said firmly. Miroku looked downright confused.
Sango sighed. "Please, let's not go through this again…"
"Yeah. We've already covered this in Frameofmind's one shot: A Failure to Communicate. We don't need that drama again." Shippo reminded, shaking his head. Miroku eyes widened a fraction and he nodded his head in understanding.
"Sango?" Kagome asked. The demon slayer looked up. "What is your last name?"
"Taijiya I think…" Kagome nodded, before looking at Shippo.
"Shippo?"
The kit beamed proudly. "Kitsune."
"Interesting…" Kagome pondered out loud. All of a sudden, a dust tornado appeared out of nowhere to appear before the group. It went blazing by before stopping in front of them, kicking chunks of dirt and sand in to the air. As the dust cleared, the young wolf prince was revealed.
"Kagome! I heard you were getting married!" Kouga smiled. Kagome sweat dropped. Inuyasha looked as if he was ready to faint.
"Uh…Kouga? Don't you think you're being a little too out of character?" Kagome mumbled. The wolf demon shook his head, the smile never fading.
"Nonsense! I've lost complete interest in you ever since chapter 466!" Kouga chirped happily. Kagome frowned, unsure whether to feel happy or insulted.
"Why the long faces?" Kouga asked, noticing everyone's distress. Kagome sighed.
"Well, Inuyasha and I are about to get married, but he doesn't have a last name." Kagome said miserably. The wolf demon snorted.
"Everyone has a last name." He stated a matter of fact. Kagome shook her head.
"He doesn't…" She informed. Kouga's eyes narrowed in confusion.
"Kouga, what is your last name?" Inuyasha asked. Kouga smirked.
"Ookami of course!"
"That means wolf in Japanese." Inuyasha noted.
Kagome's eyes widened. 'Houshi, Taijiya, Kitsune, Ookami… yes it all makes sense now!'
"Wait! Don't you guys get it?" Kagome cried out. Everyone looked at her. "All your last names have been given to you based on who you are!"
Everyone gasped.
"How peculiar…" Miroku said.
"How vastly unoriginal…" Sango muttered, annoyed.
"I feel somewhat robbed right now…" Shippo said, disappointed.
"Keh." All eyes turned toward Inuyasha. "Well if you all have names that label you, then what about me? How come I've never been given such a name? He felt strangely out of place.
"Maybe it's because you're special." Shippo said mysteriously. Inuyasha rolled his eyes.
"Special? Yeah right! Special enough to not get a last name? Not everything is all about me!" Inuyasha argued, surprisingly unselfish. Everyone could not help but agree.
Kagome nodded, analyzing the idea. "Very true Inuyasha… but it is still strange as to why you haven't been given one…"
"I don't think 'Inuyasha Hanyou' has the right ring to it…" Kouga answered honestly. Inuyasha snorted.
"What about you Kagome?" Inuyasha asked, clearly annoyed. "If we're all labeled by our last names, why isn't yours 'Kagome Miko', or 'Kagome Ningen'. Why do you get a last name like Higurashi?"
Kagome frowned. "No need to get jealous Inuyasha…"
"I'm not jealous…" Inuyasha said defiantly, but everyone coughed unanimously.
"I honestly don't know Inuyasha…" Kagome replied softly, answering his earlier question. He breathed loudly, crossing his arms and averting his eyes.
All of sudden, the sky thundered greatly. Lightning flashed brightly and ground rumbled with the force of an earthquake. The sky darkened, with unseen clouds coming in to overcast the land. Everyone instinctively braced themselves for an attack. Another booming encore of thunder sounded before there was a great flash of light. When the dust and brightness had cleared, there stood Sesshomaru.
"Wow…what an entrance…" Kouga whistled.
"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha snarled angrily, pulling out Tessaiga. "What are you doing here?"
The great dog demon remained stoic as ever as he strode toward them. Inuyasha tensed as he stood just a few feet from him. The demon rolled his eyes.
"I've only come to clear some confusion." His tone was icier than ever and everyone unconsciously shivered.
"What?" Inuyasha said bewildered. The demon's eyes narrowed at him.
"I'm talking about your last name you fool." Sesshomaru informed.
"Oh…" The dog demon nodded. Suddenly, and just as Inuyasha had done, he pulled out a piece of paper with writing on it. Kagome held back the urge to laugh at the irony of the situation.
"For some reason, father knew this day would come…" Sesshomaru said dramatically. "So, he left me with a solution to your problem."
The paper in his hand was a bit wrinkled and he smoothed it out to read it. "Father decided to give you a choice of four last names to choose from…"
Inuyasha gasped. "Are you serious?"
Sesshomaru growled impatiently and Inuyasha snapped his mouth shut.
"But why only four?" Shippo asked perplexed. Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes in annoyance.
"Because it comes after three, but it is right before five." He answered naturally, shooting the young fox a hard look. Shippo quickly ducked behind Kagome.
He continued. "Your choices are: A) Ikeda, B) Suzuki, C) Yamamoto or D) Takahashi. There is no "E) all of the above", because that would be ridiculously confusing and complete waste of time, even for someone like you. Choose wisely." And with that, he disappeared with a puff of smoke.
Inuyasha still continued to stare at the spot where his brother once stood. His eyes were wide in disbelief. Miroku clapped his hands eagerly.
"Alright Inuyasha…what shall it be?" he called.
"I'm…not sure… wait what are the choices again?" Kagome sighed. And she was going to marry this guy?
"They are Ikeda, Suzuki, Yamamoto, or Takahashi." Kouga supplied helpfully.
Inuyasha nodded before narrowing his eyes in thought. No doubt this choice could change everything for the newlyweds. The fate of their marriage lay in the fragile decision of what their surname was going to be. Hell, even fighting demons was better than this!
Kagome, sensing his struggle, decided to speak. "Well, I can tell you which ones I don't want." Inuyasha looked at her with avid interest. "I don't like Suzuki or Ikeda… you're not a car dealership, nor are you a rice paddy."
"Good point…" Inuyasha commented, nodding his head. Now they just had the last two names to choose from.
"Yamamoto…"
"…or Takahashi…"
But which one?
"Maybe you should flip a coin?" Sango suggested, but both hanyou and miko shook their head, disliking the idea.
"Draw straws?" Kouga said. Kagome just shook her head, wondering how Kouga knew what a straw was. Inuyasha just wondered what the hell Kouga was talking about.
"Hmm…"
"Hmm…"
Which one?
Finally…
"Takahashi." Kagome said strongly.
"Why that one?"
"Because it has three A's while Yamamoto only has two…" She explained statistically. Inuyasha grinned happily.
"Perfect…" Inuyasha agreed, completely pleased and thrilled . Quickly, the newlyweds embraced one another and kissed each other passionately. After a few seconds they pulled away, their faces flushed, but happy nonetheless.
"Inuyasha Takahashi…Kagome Takahashi… I love it!" She squealed.
"It's so original too. I bet no one else will think of it…"
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Absolutely pointless? Hell yes. I was just trying to have some fun on something I was thinking about. I guess you could call it just a quick brainstorm for my "She's the Man" story.
All of Inuyasha's names were ones that I have seen before in various stories. Takahashi is naturally the most common. Same with all the last names of the others. I actually have used those names as well in my stories. How unoriginal…
I do not own Inuyasha nor Frameofmind's story: A Failure to Communicate. It is a great one shot you should all read.
Hope you had at least a little laugh or two. Please review! Thank you!