Disclaimer: I know you thought I was J.K. Rowling, but surprisingly enough, I'm not. I don't own any of this. –insert jaw drop-
When Plot Devices RebelHarry raced down the corridor with Hermione and Ron hot at his heels. The tiny underclassmen were forced to bolt out of their way for fear of their lives. They rounded a corner and proceeded to hide behind the decorative suits of armor. Within thirty seconds of their arrival, a pretty girl with orange hair appeared at one end of the corridor, and a handsome male with hair so blond it was almost white appeared at the other end. They glared at each other, and slowly (and quite dramatically) walked toward each other without breaking eye contact.
"Draco." said the red head.
"Ginny." replied the blonde.
"Fancy meeting you here." shot Ginny with a scowl.
"I might say the same thing." Draco shot back with his world famous sneer.
"You know, the rules were very clear. We both start in the Great Hall, and whoever finds him first gets him. We were supposed to have our eyes closed; it was my empty-headed brother's job to make sure we both did. I know I did, but I also know that when I opened them, yours were already open. How am I to know that you had them closed when he left?"
"Well, well, well. I'm sensing some distrust here. You think your brother lied? Didn't Mommy dearest teach you to trust family? Pity."
"Don't bring my mother into this, or I'll bring up your father." Ginny glared even harder.
"Bring him up all you want, red head."
"At least I don't have three gallons of grease on my head, Blondie!"
"Gryffindor!"
"Slytherin!"
"Fire head!"
"Slime head!'
And then, a most peculiar giggle came from behind a suit of armor. The two contenders exchanged a quick glance, then raced to the closest suits of armor and looked behind them.
"AHA! I'VE FOUND HIM!" exclaimed Ginny. She pulled a person out, and then her smile faded to a frown.
"Ron? Ron, what are you doing here? You were supposed to stay with us and make sure we had our eyes closed. There's no way you could have caught up with Harry without us knowing, unless you didn't do your job…"
"Haha, well, about that… Funny story, really…" Ginny's brother attempted sheepishly.
"RONALD!" Exasperated, Ginny continued checking behind armors.
"Wait! I feel something!" She yanked on the robes, and out came Hermione.
"Hermione?! Wait… but… why are you hiding? You weren't even involved in this…"
Hermione let out a giggle. "I like hiding! It's fun!"
Ginny rolled her eyes, and realized that she'd forgotten about Draco, who had silently been searching the suits of armor as well. She glanced around, looking for her opponent.
"Looking for me?" A voice came from behind a suit of armor a little further down the corridor. Ginny pushed it aside to find Draco Malfoy snogging the love of her life.
"Found him," said a smiling Draco in between kisses.
Harry attempted to stand up, which was quite difficult, considering that Draco was trying his very best to keep him on the ground.
"Yeah, sorry Ginny. Draco found me first, so, I guess I'm with him now, not you."
"WHAT?! Harry, this is just not fair! This entire competition is completely bogus! You should have simply decided who you liked more, and told us!" Ginny tearfully replied.
"I suppose I could have… but this way was much more exciting!" Harry replied.
"Well, you know what?! I'm glad! Because we never would have lasted." Ginny ran past the new couple and around a corner, out of sight.
"I think that was quite an enjoyable way to spend my afternoon. I'm sure you three agree? I mean, I suppose we could have tried to defeat the darkest wizard ever to set foot on this Earth, since I'm the only one who can kill him and all… but, well, that just wouldn't have been as exciting!" Harry smiled at his two best friends and his new boyfriend. All three just stared at him.
"Jolly good! Now, who wants to go play Scrabble? It's this great Muggle game, quite captivating. Time will fly!"
Ron and Hermione exchanged glances. "Um, well, actually, Harry, we had plans to… do… some… something…" Ron mumbled.
"Oh… didn't you do… something… yesterday?" Harry asked, confused.
"Right, well, today, we have a… Potions project to do together!" Hermione attempted.
"We have a potions project?! Why did nobody tell me?" The Boy-who-Lived was quite slow on the uptake.
"No, I guess it was just an extra thing for me and Ron. So, we'll see you at dinner!" And with that, the two fumbled past them.
"Well, Draco, you want to play Scrabble, don't you?" asked Harry excitedly.
"You're lucky you're a good kisser. I forget why I like you sometimes." Draco shook his head.
And with that, the two walked hand in hand to go fetch Harry's board games.
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Later that night, the students were eating dinner in the Great Hall. Draco sneaked over to the Gryffindor table to say 'Hi' to Harry. Harry forced the first years to scoot over, making room for Draco to sit. They had a nice time, feeding each other strawberries and talking, when all of the sudden Harry felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked behind him and found Professor McGonagall standing there.
"Mr. Potter, I wanted to congratulate you on that wonderful essay you wrote for Transfiguration. It was simply-" McGonagall spotted Draco.
"Mr. Malfoy, what are you doing here? This is not your house table!"
"Erm… right you are, Professor. I was simply over here visiting my-" Draco was interrupted by Harry's sudden coughing. Getting the message, Draco changed his response.
"-visiting my client. You see, I was recently employed by the… owls. They were a bit tired, and wanted me to deliver a package to…" Draco glanced around, looking for someone unsuspecting and naïve enough to go with his plan.
"To Colin! Colin Creevy, your mother was written you."
"But… my mother is allergic to paper. She can't have written to me." Colin replied, confused.
Draco glared at him. "I meant that your mother sent you new film for your camera. Your father wrote the note." He sent a charming smile over to Professor McGonagall, for added affect.
"My father is visiting family in Tokyo. He is no where near my mother."
"Well, maybe he's written to tell you he came home early." Draco was getting very angry.
"That wouldn't make sense, because-" He was cut off by an apple hitting him on the head.
"Sorry, my fault, I wanted to give you the apple because I thought you'd like it. It simply… slipped." Draco smiled.
"Well, here's the letter, I'll be off now."
With that, Draco handed Colin his carefully concealed Potions homework, and walked back to the Slytherin table.
Harry, who had been staring at Draco's butt, snapped back to his senses. "Well, erm, thank you for the compliment, Professor. I should get going now."
"Very well, Mr. Potter. I shall see you tomorrow for double Transfiguration." The teacher strolled back to her respectful table.
"Colin, give me back the parchment that Draco gave you." Harry demanded.
Colin pouted. "No, I want to read it! It's a letter from home, it's mine!"
"You pansy, it's not a letter from home. It's Draco's homework; you were simply a convenient reason as to why Draco was at our table. Now fork it over." Harry snatched back the parchment and stalked off to the Gryffindor common room to copy it. Ironic, how Draco used the homework assignment that Harry hadn't done yet!
Colin sat there, getting more and more angry.
You know what? He thought. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of always being the convenient, naïve, unsuspecting little boy who will help everyone get out of trouble. As of now, I will go with no plan that I do not benefit from!
He stood up and decided to take the long way back to the common room, hoping to bump into a friend who could give him the homework for History of Magic that he hadn't done yet. The Old Colin would simply go back to the common room and do it himself, but this was the New Colin. People owed him! He wanted to be able to relax tonight. He wanted to have more free time. He wanted to be the one getting in complex plans with friends. Gosh darn it, he wanted to live!
He rounded a corner, where a student was getting chided by Professor Sprout.
"No, Professor, I wasn't copying homework! I was… writing down numbers… for… Colin Creevy!" said a random Hufflepuff student.
Colin was pulled out of his daydream in which he was taking pictures when he shouldn't, and putting the blame on someone else. He was outraged- he didn't even know this student!
"And why, pray tell, are you giving numbers to Mr. Creevy?" inquired Professor Sprout.
"Well, you see, Colin asked me to get the number of inches plants grow each week. He's very interested in Herbology," the student tried to cover up.
The Old Colin would go along with this, but no. This was the New Colin. And the New Colin was going to take a stand.
"Do I know you? I don't believe I've ever spoken to you in my life." Colin said.
"Yes, yes you do! Don't you remember, that time on the train to school? We had a long talk about plants… and… growing! I'm sure you remember." the student pointedly stared at Colin, pressuring him to go with it.
"No, I am very sure that I have never spoken to you in my life, much less about how fast plants grow." Colin smirked and walked away.
As he was leaving, he heard Professor Sprout assign the student five detentions. He smiled, and realized that this felt good. He was standing up for himself for the first time, ever! How could he feel even better? He would keep standing up for himself, and stop going along with plans… but what more… Yes! He could plot revenge on the people who had used him! But how? Colin tried to pet the facial hair that he did not have so he looked deep in thought. Well, he should start big. Who had used him the most? Well, that was easy- Harry Potter. How to get back at Harry Potter? Harry Potter. The Boy-who-Lived, rivals He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. You-Know-Who needs someone inside of Hogwarts to help him.
That night, the gossip of the school was how little Colin Creevy skipped down the hallways singing happily.
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"Pettigrew. You said you have someone who wants to see me? A Hogwarts student? Well. I shall meet with him. Send him in."
"Yes, master." Pettigrew bowed, and backed out of the room.
"You, kid with the camera. Come in here. Leave the camera. You won't want a picture of this. It may not be pretty."
"I'll bring it if I want!" The New Colin stood up for himself, even to Death Eaters. But Pettigew shot him a look that would turn water to ice.
"I… I don't think I'll really need it… I'll just… leave it… here…"
The two entered the dark room. It was empty, aside from a black chair with a tall back. It was facing the wall, so they couldn't see the person sitting in it.
"Colin Creevy, my Lord."
"Get out, Wormtail. Now." hissed a voice from the chair.
"Yes, Master." and Pettigrew scampered out of the room, first casting a glance at Colin, as if to say "I've got my eye on you".
"Colin. Why are you here?"
"Erm, well, err, hi? You see, I'm on your side. I want to help you. I want to help you get Harry Potter!" Colin tried to sound brave, but his voice was shaking almost as much as his hands.
Evil laughter erupted from the chair. "You want to help me? You can't be more than 5 foot 2. You're tiny, scrawny, young, and inexperienced. And you wish to help the Dark Lord?"
"How do you know that? You have your back to me!" Colin was shaking even more now, if that was possible.
"Ahh, you will quickly learn that the Dark Lord sees everything."
"Right… Well, what can I do for you? I want to help!"
"You can do nothing for me! You are just a small schoolboy."
"Yes, exactly! I'm a schoolboy! A small, unsuspected schoolboy! And I go to school with Harry Potter!"
"No, you have nothing to help me, you are worthless to- wait, did you say you go to school with Harry Potter?"
"Yes! I did! I do! But you already knew that, you know everything." Colin was shaking so much that there was a breeze caused by the flopping back and forth of his hands, arms, legs, and entire body.
"You should have mentioned that earlier! Of course, I did know that. But... you should have said it anyway!" The chair was slowly turning around to face the small boy. "Colin Creevy, you are my newest and most valuable follower. Welcome."
The chair was turned completely around at this point, and Colin was petrified for the second time in his life.
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The next day went like any other. Ron and Hermione "did a Potions project", Harry and Draco were hot and heavy, and students everywhere frantically copied each others homework before their classes. But there was one student who was completely different.
Colin walked down the hallway with more confidence than ever. He had a mission, set to him by the Dark Lord, as he had now taken to calling him. He was getting revenge on someone who always took advantage of him, and in a big way.
After dinner that night, Colin took Harry aside.
"What do you want, Colin? And no, I'm not signing autographs or posing for pictures!" Harry was very impatient to get to the common room. He had been planning on writing a love letter to Draco.
"No, no, no. I'm here to talk business with you. Remember in your first few years at Hogwarts, how you were the celebrity of the school? People couldn't get enough of you!" said Colin.
"Yes, I remember. It was annoying." Harry replied.
"You claim it was annoying, but you know you liked it." Harry opened his mouth to retaliate, but Colin forged ahead.
"It made people know you. It made a certain Draco Malfoy know who you were. It made Draco Malfoy love you. You had girls falling at your feet. You had everything you wanted, and you got away with murder, so to speak."
"Colin, I never killed anyone!" Harry fumed.
"No, no, of course not. It's a figure of speech, buddy. Anyway, here you are at your final year at Hogwarts. You are no longer a celebrity. You're whole Saving-the-Wizarding-World act is getting old. No, don't say a word! Because I can fix all of that." Colin whipped out his camera.
"I told you no pictures!" Harry turned to walk away.
"Ah, but I won't necessarily be taking any pictures. I could take your picture, a nice one, with you looking heroic and handsome. Or, I could put this picture aallllll over the school." He unrolled a life-size picture of Harry, naked, posing with a metal horse.
"Colin! Put that away! Where'd you get that?" Harry panicked and glanced around to make sure no one could see the horrifying picture.
"Doesn't matter, does it? Now, do you want people to see this side of you, or do you want them to see a smiling hero? It's your choice, but one or the other is being plastered around the school tomorrow."
Harry pondered the situation in his head. Publicly humiliated, or be attacked by fan girls twenty four-seven, all over again? He sighed. "Fine, Colin, take the picture. Whatever."
Harry posed, Colin snapped some pictures, and they both went to their beds for a good night's sleep. Or, at least Harry did. Colin had more pressing matters to attend to.
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The next morning, Harry walked down to breakfast amidst many whispers and pointing. He didn't notice because he was too busy trying to remember his dream last night. Something to do with cats, and wizard hats. And a lake…
He was so lost in his own head that he walked headlong into a stone wall, breaking his glasses for the seventeenth time that week. He rubbed his head, looked up, and screamed so loud that Hagrid heard it in his hut. His face. Blown up. Staring at him. With the words "Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived, is engaged to Ginny Weasley, the girl who likes older men" in large font below. There it was; the picture Colin took last night. But somehow, Ginny was added to it, and they were the epitome of a happy couple, with smiling faces and loving eyes. There were even wedding rings added to each of their ring fingers.
Harry stared at the picture in shock. After 13 minutes of staring at it, he exploded. He started screaming and pounding his fists against the wall, and ripped down the horrific picture. But beneath it was the other picture, the one with him and the horse. There was a collective gasp from the crowd that had gathered behind him.
"COLIN CREEVY, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE TODAY!" Harry bellowed.
"Am I, Potter? Well, you'll have to catch me first!" And with that, Colin took off, sprinting down the corridor, up the stairs, past the classrooms, and finally arriving at the Room of Requirement. Harry was quite out of shape, so Colin had plenty of time to walk past, thinking of what he needed it to become. He was just closing the door behind him when he heard Harry panting like an overweight dog that had just run a marathon, coming right down the passage.
Colin closed the door, and took his position. He gave the Dark Lord their previously agreed sign, and Voldemort nodded. Harry burst into the room, wand at the ready, and looked around for Colin. He was shocked to find himself in a room, divided by a line. One side was full of rainbows, butterflies, and all of Harry's favorite things. The other was filled with black, and all of Harry's greatest fears.
"Why, hello, Harry. Fancy meeting you here." said Voldemort.
Harry felt like his blood had turned to ice. "Who was that? Where are you?" He frantically looked for a tall, hooded creature.
"That does not matter, young boy. Look straight ahead of you."
He looked, and saw Draco, sitting in a comfy seat, with big cushions and pretty decorations.
"Draco! What are you doing here? What's going on?" Harry asked frantically.
Draco shook his head. He didn't seem able to speak or move anything but his head.
"Draco here knows which side of the room I am on. He will tell you which side to come to. You will have to take his word. He may turn you over to me, or he may let you go." The voice was coming from everywhere, and it gave Harry no clue.
"But… isn't it obvious? I mean, you're on the dark, scary side. I want to go to the bright, shiny, pretty side. It's common sense."
"Creevy! I told you to imagine the room neutral! You weren't supposed to make it that obvious! Now this is just completely stupid." The Dark Lord was not happy.
"Well, I thought this looked kind of neutral!" Colin said, shakily.
"Colin, you better stay hidden, because I'm going to kill you if you ever come out!" Harry warned.
"Uhm… OH MY GOSH! EVERYONE- LOOK! A… A BIG… LOOK!" And with that, Colin ran out of the room.
"Well. It's just the three of us, I guess…" Harry said, awkwardly.
"Ouch, my neck! I turned it to look at whatever Creevy was pointing to, and now I'm stuck!" Voldemort came hopping out from hiding, twitching, trying to get his head to face forward instead of over his right shoulder. In the process, he crossed over to the happy side.
There was a sickening crack, and his head was facing forward again. "Much better. Now, about killing you. I guess I'll have to change my plans, because of stupid Creevy… hee! Heehee! Creevy! What a funny name!" The evilest dark wizard ever started laughing uncontrollably.
"CREEVVVYY! It's… LEAAFFFFYYY! HAHAHAHA!"
Harry looked over at Draco in confusion. Draco shrugged, and tried to stand. Amazed, he found that he could!
"I wonder if my voice is back," said Draco. "IT IS! I CAN SPEAK! WICKED!" Draco smiled brightly.
"Hahahahaha! Speak! Weak! Bleak! Funny rhymes!" The two looked over to see Voldemort doing the funky chicken. He had flowers in his hair. And… he seemed to be… shrinking!
"What the hell?" asked Harry.
"I think it's the side of the room he's on… it's too happy for him! It seems to be disintegrating him." Draco guessed.
"The world should be full of sunsets and rainbows and grassy fields! Butterflies! Pretty colors! Shiny things! HAPPINESS!" Voldemort was now the size of a ten-year-old, and his face was starting to resemble a normal human.
"I can't believe I'm saying this… but… I think Voldemort is being defeated by Cheering Charms!" Harry said.
"Bloody brilliant!" said Draco in awe.
"Hey, erm, Draco? You know… usually at this point in stories, the couple who had been pulled apart by an evil villain, who they defeated, well… there's usually a make out session." Harry mumbled feebly.
And with that, the two snogged like they'd never snogged before.
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After the snog-fest, the two returned to the Great Hall, to have a celebratory breakfast. They had to tell the world, of course, that Voldemort had been defeated at long last. They got up to explain how, and then the school enjoyed a feast. Classes were cancelled, alcoholic beverages were served, and the world was at peace.
Later that night, all rules were broken. Students from different houses mingled, people ignored the curfew, and everyone was happy.
As Draco and Harry were walking hand in hand upstairs to celebrate some more, many people congratulated them. Then, they got into a hallway-jam. They craned their necks to see what was going on. It was Colin, who was surrounded by a mob of admirers.
"Oh, Colin, take my picture!"
"Don't you think I have a photogenic smile?"
"Colin, you and I would make a great team."
"Colin, look at me!"
"The horoscope in the Daily Prophet says that we're meant for each other!"
The girls were going crazy.
"Now, now! There's enough of me to go around! A piece for everyone! Now, who wants to hear the story of how I saved Harry Potter's life by pretending to be on the Dark Lord's side again?" Colin was loving the new attention.
Harry rolled his eyes at Draco, who returned the look. The two shook their head at how Colin was twisting the story, joined hands, and pushed their way through the crowd to begin their life together without evil lords and angry underclassmen.