Summary: A whole different story. From the beginning, Mulder and Scully's
relationship evolving, with a little twist.
FBI Building
Washington D.C.
December 21, 2001
11:40 PM
***1994-1995……my junior year in high school…my growing stage, my friendships were the most important thing to me. One in particular with a boy named Fox Mulder. It had been the first year me and him ever even uttered a word to each other even though we had been going to school together since the beginning in kindergarten, but some how we never crossed paths. I never noticed him until one of my best friends Diana Fowley had come up to me claiming to have a crush on someone in my grade. Diana being younger than me, and Fox being in my grade, she had come to me for help and support in getting him to notice her and even possibly go out with him. I didn't know him then, and I didn't get to know him well until they had begun to go out about 2 weeks later, with some of my help. All of a sudden it was as if he and I were close friends, we talked about everything, and as his relationship with Diana crashed, he turned to me for comfort and guidance on what to do, and throughout this whole period, my love and caring for Fox Mulder began to become more as I fell head over heels in love with him.
Before I knew it, we were seniors, soon to be the graduating class of 1996. We continued to stay friends, and Diana and I never spoke again after she accused me of stealing Fox away from her. We had our ups and downs, like any other friendship, but when it came time for the tough stuff, we knew we could always turn to each other for comfort and advice. That year was the year we both got stuck without dates to the prom. Even though Fox was considered one of the nicest and cutest guys in my class ("Mr. Popular himself" is what I referred to him as), he still was left without a date, and when the deadline for prom bids came crunching closer, me and him came to a final decision to just go together as friends and enjoy ourselves at our senior prom. What a night that was, and it was the best time of my life. Even though we only went as friends, those who didn't know us could have sworn we were a couple. We danced the first slow song together, and I remember it like it was yesterday. We agreed that we would dance the first and last song together, even if we didn't dance together in between. When the first notes of the first slow song came on, Fox reached his hand out for mine, placed my arms around his neck, and his hands on my hips. At first it was rather uncomfortable, considering we had never been that close before, but soon, we found ourselves just dancing looking into each others eyes, and smiling a lot as we enjoyed our senior prom as the words to the song played……
Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I now you can't stay
A part of you will never go away
Your heart will stay
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gently mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way………….
As the song ended we parted, and once again the fast songs took over. We knew we weren't forced to stay with each other the whole night, that's why we went as friends, but yet for some reason, we never left each others side. We danced together all night long…. Whether it was fast or slow…we were enjoying every moment together. But it seemed as though as soon as this moment began, it came to an abrupt end when the last song, the prom theme, began to play. This time, without any reaching out, Fox grabbed me by the waist and pulled me close. My arms automatically went around his neck and I began to play with his hair, my hands running in and out of it. I placed my head on his chest and closed my eyes…it seemed as though we were floating on clouds as our dance together continued……
Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
For one so small
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
'Cause you'll be in my heart
yes, you'll be in my heart
from this day on
now and forever more
you'll be in my heart
no matter what they say
you'll be here in my heart, always
Why can't they understand
the way we feel
they just can't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
Deep inside us
We're not that different at all
And you'll be in my heart
yes, you'll be in my heart
from this day on
now and forever more
Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
we need each other
to have to hold
They'll see in time
I know…….
I remember losing track of the song…. I became lost in Fox and the moment, a little too much. Soon, I snapped out of it, realizing that one of our friends, was tapping me on the shoulder trying to get us out of the trance we were in. That night was the most exciting and exhilarating night of my life, and it ended with Fox and I just standing on my drive way staring into each others eyes, not breaking our glances until I looked away from his eyes, blushing and smiling, he smiled, took my chin and kissed me on the cheek like any other pair of friends would do. But at this point, the barrier between friendship and relationship had been broken that night for Fox and I.
After the prom, Fox and I didn't really hang out. Things got awkward, and when Diana found out he and I went to prom together, she flipped and things about Fox and my relationship flew around the school endlessly. To stop this nonsense, Fox and I didn't really talk that much, maybe if we were alone or at home on the phone or computer, but never in school, we would look at each other, but we never could even go near each other without a new rumor being formed. Before I knew it, it was graduation. I was so happy to be leaving high school and moving on to bigger and brighter things, but it was hard to say good bye. I remember hugging Fox after the ceremony, giving him a peck on the check, congratulating him and thanking him for everything he had given me over the last year and a half, even though we hadn't really been a major part in each other's lives the past month or so. He gave me that devilish smile that I just couldn't resist and gave me another hug, and said you're welcome. With that he walked out of my life.
The next two years I worked extra hard on my studies. I majored in medicine, but took a biological standing point to the whole topic. During my second year, I was approached by Agent Walter Skinner and a few other directors of the FBI and was asked to leave college earlier to pursue a career in the FBI as a doctor in order to help solve "unsolvable" cases, and if I did and decided some time in the future that it just wasn't for me, they would pay for the rest of my education in order for me to pursue the career of my desire. I took my chances back then, entering the FBI, and became assigned to the "unsolvable" known as the X-Files where I worked with the very witty and kind Agent Drew Waters. We worked together very well, and became very close friends, he was like a brother to me and till this day I still carry a picture of him with me, but after one year of working together, he was killed during one of our cases. I was devastated at the lose of my partner and best friend, but Assistant Director Skinner said that I had to move on and continue to solve the impossible. The FBI was happy with my progress and scientific explanations for the cases we had been able to explain and solve, but they also felt that I needed help and a new partner. They said that they had found new ideas and enthusiasm in a young college student about my age who is looking to enter into this type of field. He was very smart and willing to come and take over the X-Files and help me solve them. That day, A.D. Skinner went with me to gather the needed information and evidence for my next case. My new partner was to meet us at our last destination. When we arrived at the last stop, he was no where to be found. Skinner suggested I go in and gather all the materials I need and then maybe he would arrive by the time I came back out. So I did as the director said, and when I came out, I found Skinner talking to a man, his back was turned to me, but I could see his neatly cut brown hair and the nice blue shirt and navy pants he was wearing. I walked closer, wondering how this new partner of mine was going to work out. When I reached where he was standing, Skinner acknowledged my presence as the young man turned to face me …….it was Fox Mulder!! We looked at each other astounded and laughed at the fact that after2 years of no communication, we had been signed together as partners…..
Those were the good old days. And it's been about a year, a little more actually, since Mulder and I became partners on the X-Files. And now it's Christmas time…. actually exactly three days before Christmas Eve, and I don't know what I'm doing here sitting here in my office with Mulder, when I should be out finishing some shopping, for who, I don't even know, because besides Mulder, who else would I buy for?? Anyway, instead I'm stuck in the basement office finishing up a report that needs to be done before the end of the day….which just happens to be in twenty minutes when it hits midnight. I come back to reality after thinking about the past and once again try to finish the last few thoughts and lines of the report, but keep getting distracted by Mulder who is sitting at his desk, feet up, and throwing paper airplanes into the trash can, not being any of assistance to me who is trying to meet a deadline. But at the same time, I'm happy to have him keeping me company in the big, dusty, quarantined office. He's my sanctuary and savior when it comes to keeping me sane and from going to the nut house, even though in some aspects he could be the one driving me there at the same time. Finally I bring myself back to the report paper sitting in front of me and away from the absolutely gorgeous, relaxing Mulder as he sends a glance my way while folding another paper airplane and I try to act as if I'm not paying attention to him in anyway, but my face turns beat red, as I tuck the piece of fly away hair behind my ear with my free hand, which is shaking now, and at that moment, I can see a smile come across his face out of the corner of my eye just as I finish up the report.
"Done" I finally proclaim heading towards his desk, closing the report folder and tossing it aside on his desk.
"Finally" Mulder says sarcastically and grins at me, getting up from his comfortable position and throwing his last paper airplane perfectly into the garbage can. I smile back and the two of us head out of the office to the elevator, with Mulder guiding the way with his hand on the small of my back, as usual.
Once we reach the parking garage, we head to our cars, which are parked next to each other. Before I get a chance to enter my car, Mulder says, "Scully, what are you doing tomorrow??"
Surprised I looked at him and said, "What??"
"What are you doing tomorrow" he says again.
"Nothing…." I proclaimed, feeling kind of stupid considering it was Christmas time and I had no plans for the first work vacation day. And yet, in my head I was happy he was asking, hoping, and praying, because I wish I could answer that very question at another time with a "hopefully you"….. Whoa tiger, back to reality…as I focus myself back on Mulder and what his point of the whole conversation was.
"Well, do you want to come to my parents' house and bake cookies with the family??" Mulder asks gingerly, with a questioning expression coming across his face as he finishes up his sentence.
"Sure, sounds like fun." I say calmly, even though deep inside I'm jumping for joy and my whole inside is going crazy, almost as if my whole body was partying at the fact that I was getting to spend the day with Mulder and his family, instead of sitting at home all alone during "the most wonderful time of the year", again.
"All right then, come over around noon and we'll bake our brains out" Mulder says with a devilish grin coming across his face, almost as if he is as happy as I was at that moment. And I begin to wonder if he's thinking about the same thing I am at that moment…no, he couldn't be, could he??
Mulder Household
Coventry, CT
December 22
11:55 AM
I park my car on Mulder's parents driveway, and I head to the door nervously, afraid of how the day is going to go and what's going to happen during the day with Mulder. I ring the doorbell, my whole body shaking, and his dad answers the door.
"Hey Dana, how have you been??" He asks.
"Fine, I guess…it's been rough, but being busy with Mulder all day long keeps my mind off everything else." I responded, referring to the deaths of my mother, father, sister, and brother. And yet, at the same time it's almost as if I haven't lost that much. Ever since their deaths, Mulder's family has basically taken me in and it's as if his mother and father were my own, my second parents none the less. I've had a very close relationship with them for what seems like forever, and they've always treated me right.
"Well, hun, come on in…we're getting ready to start the cookies…your just in time for the serious baking hours." His dad says sarcastically, as I enter the house with a smile and laugh lightly at his crack and how Mrs. Mulder yells out from the kitchen at him… "You better watch it bub, otherwise you'll be doing all of them yourself." I continue to laugh, until I go over and sit next to Mulder at the counter table, where we start to mix the ingredients to the cookies. Mrs. Mulder puts the Christmas music on, and continuously sings along with the CD, much to the dismay of Mr. Mulder, who rolls his eyes every time he looks at us.
"Hey Dana, you're not doing anything special for Christmas, are you??" Mr. Mulder asks, trying to block out his wife's singing.
"No, why would I be." I reply.
"Well, then hun, why don't you stay here throughout the holiday. You know your like a daughter to me and Christine, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, and it'll be fun." He says. I look at him, then Mrs. Mulder, and then Mulder, all of them looking at me with this look as if they were begging for me to stay, until I finally broke a smile and said, "Why not." They all smiled and we went back to baking and the Christmas carols.
After about an hour, Mulder finally gets sick and tired of baking cookies, and he goes off to his room, doing god knows what. I stayed and continued to help his parents bake cookies like they were out of style.
4:00 PM
After about four hours of cooking, Mrs. Mulder and I put the finishing touches of icing decoration on the cookies we have just baked. Finally, Mulder decides to grace us with his presence once again and comes into the kitchen. I just look at him and smile, he just starts laughing.
"What??" I ask.
He comes closer to me pointing his finger at my face that is covered with flower and everything else, and says, still laughing, "You've got icing on your nose!!" And he takes his finger removes the icing from my nose, and sticks the delicious icing in his mouth while still looking deep into my eyes, almost mesmerizing me. It seems like we just stood there like that forever and no one else existed, looking into each others eyes, studying each other, both of us basically knowing what's coming next but waiting for the other to make the first move. Just as our faces slightly began to move towards each other, both of us starting to make a move almost simultaneously, the doorbell rang, and we both jumped back, now facing our attention to the entrance to the kitchen, and trying to concentrate on hearing who is at the door.
All of a sudden, Mr. Mulder appears in the kitchen corridor with this blatantly surprised and questioning look on his face. As he enters the kitchen, I see behind him a girl, who runs up to Mulder, puts her arms around his neck and plants a kiss right on his lips. Shocked, I look at the "moment" and then look back at his parents, who look over at me and then look down at the floor covering their faces. Finally the girl releases her lips from Mulder's, still with her arms around his neck, and says, "Fox, I've missed you!!" as she begins to rub her hands in his hair. Then she turns over, looks at me and says, "Oh, hi Dana."
Still shocked, and very upset, I reply, "Amy, what a pleasant surprise." With a lot of sarcasm in my tone, that Mulder must have picked up on right ways because right after saying this, I looked at him with a look that could kill and he right away, turned his face away. Once again I looked at Amy, giving her almost the same look, turned around, and walked right out of the kitchen. After I was out of the sight of everyone else, I ran, booking my way up the stairs to the room that I would be staying in for the next few nights. There, I plopped on the familiar bed that I always used every time I stayed at the Mulder's, grabbed my favorite stuffed bear, curled up into a ball, and sat there in the corner of bed/room. I cried my eyes out, my eyeliner mixing in with all the flower and other ingredients on my face until they dripped off with each tear, leaving streaks of uncovered skin on my face.
It seems as though I just sat there for hours, crying uncontrollably until my eyes couldn't cry any more. All I could think about was him and Amy, KISSING, and how just before they shared their "moment" I almost kissed Mulder. How stupid could I be?? I mean really. He and Amy went out for 6 months, almost all those 6 months during the time in which Mulder and I had begun to work with each other, and they broke up just about a half a year ago for some stupid reason, how could I have thought that Mulder was over her and actually liked me?? And if I did kiss him, he probably would've pulled back anyway, he's in love with Amy and that's all there is to it, why else would he let her kiss him like that?? It's over, everything's over. I will never love another man again the way I love Mulder, and now, the one man I truly love with all my heart has slipped away to his ex who randomly comes back into his life after a half a year of departure. Everything's changed, and I feel as though I've lost everything, again.
I finally decide, after thinking continuously about the subject, to get up and head to the bathroom to clean my self up and throw some cold water on my face. Looking in the mirror, I realize exactly how big of a mess I really am. My face is covered in patches of flower that are interrupted by streaks of wetness from my tears and lines of black from the eye liner that flowed off as well. I go to clean off my face, but before I even get the chance to touch my face, I randomly start crying again. It's almost as if I had regained all the water needed for another crying episode, and once again I found myself crying uncontrollably. After a few minutes, I hear a knock on the bathroom door, "Dana it's William" I hear coming from the other side. I go over to the door, unlock the knob and let Mr. Mulder in. He comes in, shuts the bathroom door, takes one good look at my messy, covered face, grabs a wash clothe and begins to gently wipe all the damage away from my face and glassy, water filled eyes.
"I can't believe this….how could he do this?? I love him William, and I almost kissed him, until that blond bitch interrupted, and then they KISS!!?? What's happening??" I say to my second father, knowing he'll listen and give me the best reassurance and advice possible. And as he continues to clean up my face, and is just about finished, I begin to cry again.
"Dana, please don't cry again. Everything will work out fine, trust me. He cares about you Dana, you have to know that. Amy's just a distraction, she means nothing to him." He says trying to reassure me that my almost kiss with Mulder was not a mistake, and that Amy has no place in Mulder's heart.
"Then why, William, why?? Why did he go along with her?? Why didn't he push her away when she kissed him?? Why??" I say, my voice squeaking as tears come to my eyes again.
"I dunno what to tell you Dana, I can't figure my own son out sometimes, and this is definitely one of those times." William says shaking his head, not knowing exactly what to say to me to make me feel better. But in my heart I know that if he knew what to say, he would say it…but there really is nothing else he can say. The damage to my heart had been done, and my heart is broken just seeing Amy kiss Mulder, and now, there's no way to fix my torn apart heart, or to undo the damage that has already been done.
Mulder Household
Coventry, CT
December 23
7:03 AM
…….. "Mulder…I love you…please"…. "I'm sorry Scully.."…. RING… RING… RING…(I wake up) Oh my god…. I'm even dreaming about losing Mulder, this is crazy!! I pick my head up to look at the clock… 7:04…oh my god. I lay my head back down on the pillow and just lay there looking up at the ceiling recalling all the events that had happened yesterday. I can hear William on the phone down the hall talking to someone, but I'm so worked up and concentrating on all the events of yesterday that I can't even make out what or who he is talking to. All of a sudden William enters the room.
"Dana, hun, you have to get up, that was your boss, Walter Skinner, he says that he's sorry, but he needs both you and Mulder to come in today and work on this one case for him. It's not an X-File, but you're the only two he could get a hold of. Mulder is already ready."
"Ok, I'll be down in about 20 minutes." I say, rolling myself out of the bed and into the cold air. I head into the bathroom and quickly enter the shower, washing my hair quickly, and then finally getting dressed into my black skirt that goes down about mid-shin, my white tank top and my black over coat. I grab my heels, and run down the stairs. I stop, put my shoes on and grab the cup of coffee that Christine had ready for me. I run to the window and notice that Mulder is out in the car waiting for me, and that it had snowed a lot last night. I grab a scarf and pair of gloves.
"Thanks mom and dad…" I yell running out the door and into the car, the sooner we get to the case sight, the sooner we can get home, and the less time I have to spend with Mulder in dead silence and tension. All of a sudden, Amy comes booking out of the house to the car.
"Fox, I'm gonna tag along, I know I haven't been working with you guys in a while, but I'm sure it'll be fun." She says, giving him this innocent smile while batting her eyes. Mulder, looks at her, then looks at me, I roll my eyes and turn to look out the window, trying not to pay any attention to either of them.
Amy enters the back seat and sits. She looks at Mulder through the rear view mirror, puts her little puppy dog eyes on and says, "Fox, will you come sit back her with me??" I look at Mulder, who breathes heavily, opens the door, and gets out adding, "You can drive, Scully." Disappointed with his choice to sit with Amy, I get up open the door, get out, and then slam the door shut. I walk around to the other side of the car, with my angry face on, get in the car, turn the car on, and begin to reverse out of the driveway. The sooner we left, the sooner I could come back to the house and I could just run up to my bedroom, shut the door, and act like the two in the back seat didn't exist.
Cromwell Home for the Criminally Insane
Cromwell, CT
3:01 PM
We arrived at the place, the Cromwell Home for the Criminally Insane. The place was built with bricks, and actually looked more like an office work area then an insane asylum. I stopped the car, and looked through the rear view mirror to find Amy, with her hand very carefully massaging the inside of Mulder's thigh, very close to his groin. I thought I was going to hurl. With disgust, I opened the door, and walked towards the entrance to the asylum. I could hear Mulder walking up behind me as he called out, "Wait up Scully." But I continued to walk, not slowing my accelerating pace at all, until I felt Mulder's presence right next to me as he put his hand on the small of my back. This made me uneasy, he had just let Amy touch him…and he didn't even flinch at the touch, or push her away, and now here he was acting like nothing happened and everything was normal. To prevent the uncomfortable feeling I had in the pit of my stomach from becoming more then just a feeling, I pushed Mulder's hand off of my back with my forearm, and walked faster so that he didn't have enough time to try and place his hand on the small of my back once again. As I continued to walk into the asylum I could just picture Amy smiling at the fact that I had just pushed Mulder away from me, she would be so happy, she was accomplishing her mission rather well.
Finally, I gathered everything needed, when truthfully I felt as though I didn't even need to go over the information because the outcome of the case was evident already, I walked out of the asylum, and Mulder was still walking beside me even though I never acknowledged his presence. About 15 feet from the car, he stopped me.
"Scully, what's wrong with you??" he asked gingerly as if he truthfully had no idea.
"Mulder, you should…….you know what, never mind….just go back to the back seat with your playmate, ok." I replied very harshly, but I just couldn't believe he had the nerve to ask that question, it was apparently obvious what was wrong…how could he be so blind??
"But Scully….."
"No, I don't want to hear it." I replied even harsher then before, and with that I walked to the car, sat down in the drivers seat once again, and started the car as Mulder entered the car, this time to sit in the front with me, which surprised me at first. Finally noticing Mulder's change in seating arrangements, Amy's once smile turned into a very disappointed frown. Even though he was sitting with me, I was still a little uneasy about the whole Amy thing, my mind still believed that Mulder liked Amy, that he was just trying to get me to not be mad at him anymore, but my heart begged to differ. It wanted to believe that Mulder's choice to sit in the front was his way of choosing me over Amy, and that he felt the same way about me that I did about him. No matter what his choice meant, I wasn't about to let my guard down just to be hurt again.
Mulder Household
Coventry, CT
4:44 PM
Finally we had arrived back at the house, and just in time for dinner. Chris and William had made their famous pasta with spaghetti sauce, bread and butter, meatball and sausage—One of my favorites when I would spend time at Mulder's house. And go figure, Amy would place herself right next to Mulder at the dinner table, but just in case she had forgotten, I plopped myself on the other side, just as a reminder that Mulder was still my partner and best friend, and that I wasn't just about to give up on him that easily, even if Mulder truthfully did like Amy. William walked behind me, placing his arm on my back as he walked by, almost as if he were giving me the support I needed to annoy Amy, and sat right beside me on my left side. Dinner went pretty well, but Amy enjoyed bringing up her and Mulder's past relationship and talking about all they use to do. I could tell that this conversation was getting out of control, rather SHE was getting out of control, especially when I caught a glimpse of Mulder's bright red, uncomfortable face, and then I knew that Amy must be, once again, rubbing the inside of Mulder's thigh. Noticing this, I made sure no one was looking as I dropped my fork, got up and went under the table acting as if I was going to find it. When I got under the table, sure enough, there was Amy's hand, placed only centimeters away from Mulder's groin. Becoming furious and sick, I took my fork, stabbed Amy's hand with it, and got out from under the table.
"Oww" Amy screamed in a high pitched voice.
"Found the fork!!" I said calmly with a smile on my face as I once again took my place in my seat, cleaned of the fork, and went back to eating the pasta. Amy just gave me a dirty look, and if looks could kill, I would have fallen over dead at that very moment. Chris and William just looked at me, I shrugged my shoulders as if I had no idea what happened, they just laughed, which made Amy even more furious. I looked over at Mulder who gave me this look of relief, but which also said a silent 'Thank you' along with it, but I was still angry, and still confused about every thing, so I just looked at him straight faced and then went back to finishing up my dinner.
9:50 PM
"Everyone, we're gonna decorate the tree now, lets go!!" I could hear Chris yell out from the living room, and with that, I got up from comfortable position on my bed and headed down the stairs to the living room.
When I got into the connector between the dining room and living room, I stopped, and just leaned against the wall and watched as the three Mulder family members hung up their ornaments that had their name on them. Mulder's ornament was green, which I figured probably represented the little green men he always dreamed on finding, William's was blue, and Chris's was purple. Mulder then reached his hand back into the box and pulled out mine, which was red, and as Mulder said, fit perfectly because it reminded him exactly of my fiery red hair, and placed it only a few inches away from his, representing our friendship and partnership. My ornament was added to the tree back in the day when Mulder and I were close friends in high school, back when I spent as much time at this house as I did at my own. It probably was taken off when he and I lost contact, and then last year when we became partners, my ornament was once again placed on the tree. I loved these ornaments, they had a special feature that I had always thought was the greatest thing ever invented. On each side of our names dangled a heart, matching the color of the ornaments. The hearts were used to represent our mate, our love for whomever we were committed to. My ornament still had both of my red hearts, and Mulder's still both of his green ones, but Chris's and William's had one blue and purple each representing their marriage and love for one another.
After watching this with a smile on my face, I noticed Amy, who was sitting on the couch with this upset, bitchy look on her face. She was probably jealous. Mulder had placed my ornament on the tree, and there was no ornament to represent Amy, plus, all three of them (Mulder, Chris and William) were so wrapped up in their decorating that it almost seemed Amy didn't exist to them. This made me smile even more, especially when she began to wine, and they still didn't acknowledge her presence on the couch.
"Uh oh…" I heard William say, and I finally directed my attention back to the other three, and back to reality, away from all my happy thoughts of an miserable Amy. "…Look who's under the mistletoe!!"
All of a sudden, everyone was looking at me. Confused, I looked up, to find the mistletoe right above my head. The next thing I knew, William had pushed Mulder right in front of me, and now here I was face to face with my partner and best friend, looking deep into his eyes once again, for the second time in two days. His left hand came to rest upon my right cheek, and I began to shake. 'Oh my god, is this really happening?? Is he going to kiss me??' I had to break the glance that he and I were sharing, other wise my emotions were about to get the best of me and I was about to break down into tears. I broke the gaze, and focused my eyes onto another vision, that being William holding Amy back from interrupting the miracle that was about to occur. Then my mind reverted back to everything that had happened within the past two days—Amy kissing Mulder, Mulder not pushing her away; Mulder going and sitting in the back seat with Amy when she asked, and him allowing her to rub her hand on his inner thigh. All this soon made me upset, angry, and even more confused then I was a few seconds ago. I brought myself back to focusing on Mulder. He was still staring at me, and leaning in as if he were just about to make his move, but before he could, I pulled back.
"I can't do this…" I stumbled out as I lost control of all my emotions, and immediately started to sob. With this episode, I lightly pushed Mulder out of the way, and ran out of the living room, up the stairs, to my bedroom when I buried my head into the pillows and continued to bawl my eyes out. Not about five minutes passed by, and Mulder came into the room.
"Scully….are you ok??" Mulder said, shyly, and very nervously.
"Mulder, just go away, I just want to be alone." I replied being muffled by my pillow as well as my continuous sobs.
"We need to talk though Scully." Mulder said as he came to sit on the edge of my bed. He used his left hand to turn me around, and pull me up so that I was sitting right next to him on the bed as he lightly wiped away all the tears that were going down my cheeks. "Why did you run Scully?? And why are you ignoring me??"
"Mulder, you should know why." I replied, holding back more tears.
"You want to shine a little light on me and tell me, because truthfully, I don't have a clue??"
"You like Amy, don't you??" I asked.
"No, Scully. She's the past." Mulder said in the most serious tone.
"But she kissed you, and you didn't even pull away from her. You just let her kiss you!! Not to mention her little rubbing massage in the back seat and at the dinner table, you just allowed her to do whatever she wanted and didn't even stop her. How can you tell me that you don't like her??" I replied, my tone getting harsher as the words came out.
"Scully, listen to me…. I don't love Amy. I may have at one point a while ago, but that's over, it's in the past. I don't know what I was thinking when I didn't push her away. That was wrong of me. I didn't know that it upset you so much. I'm so sorry Scully…I'm really…."Mulder trailed off as Amy walked into the room, rudely interrupting.
"Fox, aren't you gonna come and cuddle with me by the fire…??" Amy said in her high pitched begging voice, as she put on her puppy dog-face and acted as if she were going to cry.
Mulder looked at me, then back at her. "Actually Amy, I'm in the middle of something very important right now, and you're interrupting it. Can you please leave so that I can finish talking with Scully??"
"But Foxie…." Amy started to whine, but I interrupted her.
"Listen bitch, we are trying to talk right now. Now get the hell out!!" I screamed at her viciously, as William walked into the room, grabbing Amy, and pulling her out of the room so that Mulder and I could finish our conversation, or should I say, get our friendship back on track.
"Now, what were you saying before we were so RUDELY interrupted??" I asked Mulder changing my tone from the vicious scream that it was a few seconds ago to my now calm and 'very eager to finish our conversation' voice.
"Look, Scully, I'm really, really, really sorry if I upset you…I didn't mean to. I…."Mulder said very meekly, as if he were whispering, and he had his head down like a accused dog who was waiting for the 'go in your cage' punishment. His actions made me even more upset, and I felt really bad.
"Mulder…." I said, lifting his face up with my right hand. "It's ok…I forgive you. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gotten that angry and upset. But it's over now, and everything's ok". And as I said this, Fox Mulder's gloomy, depressed face turned in to this one big grin, and before I could react and get a small smile on my own face, Mulder had his arms wrapped around me in this one big bear hug. I gasped at first, not realizing what he was doing, but then I too joined him and placed my arms around his neck returning the hug that renewed our friendship. We just sat there for what seemed like forever. He continuously rubbed soft, comforting circles on my back, and I slide my hands up into his hair, massaging his scalp. At one point during this re-connecting moment, I could have sworn in even heard a slight sob, and could have felt Mulder's tears slide off his cheeks and on to my shoulder.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity, we finally broke our grasp on each other. We sat there staring at each other for a few minutes until Mulder finally broke the silence.
"I'm glad were back to normal Scully. I guess we should go to bed huh?? I'll leave you now…good night Scully." Mulder said with this huge grin on his face that covered his entire face, and with his last bidding of good night, he leaned in and kissed me slightly and softly on the cheek. In that instant, I felt a rush of blood go to my face, and chills run throughout my body. How could this one man have such an affect on me?? I thought. And as I watched him walk towards the bedroom door, I realized exactly how in love with him I truly was…he was my life, my soul mate, and the only person I would go to the edge of the Earth and back for. Finally after I broke out of my trance, I got the nerve to reply back to his last words.
"Hey Mulder."
"Yea??"
"I'm happy too…ya know…that were back." And once again, that smile came across his face, and I just began to melt once again. But so that my emotions and excitement were not evident to him, I quickly continued….
"Good night Mulder, and sweet dreams" I said smiling as he walked out of my bed room door, shutting it on the way out so that I could still maintain some privacy. After the door closed completely, I just fell back on my pillow, continuing to smile. All I could think about was Mulder, how much I loved him, and how happy I was that he and I finally had our original friendship back. Finally, with all these good thoughts continuing through my head, I rolled over to my side, curled up under the covers and fell asleep knowing that tonight was going to be filled with exceptionally good dreams, and that tomorrow would be a great day to wake up to.
Mulder Household
December 24
9:31 AM
I shifted under the covers, and suddenly felt the warmth of the sun on my face, the only part of me that peeked out of the covers. I opened my eyes to find the bright, warm, and glaring sun shining through the curtains of my room. I turned around under the covers to check the clock on the bed stand located on the other side, but before my eyes could wander to the clock, they were distracted by something else. Mulder. Who just happened to be standing in the doorway entrance to my room. How long had he been standing there??
"Merry Christmas Eve, sleepy head." He said with this huge, suspicious grin as he entered the room and made his way towards the bed, where he sat next to my curled up body.
"How long have you been there Mulder??" I asked curiously and nervously.
"Not long…only a few minutes actually. I came to see if you were up yet, but when I opened the door, you were still curled up under the covers asleep. I didn't want to disturb you. You looked so innocent just sleeping there all wrapped up with blankets, so I just stood there for a while. I was just about to leave when you stirred."
"Oh….."
"So….are you going to join us when we go to my Auntie Lyn's for Christmas Eve dinner??" Mulder asked eagerly and hopefully.
"Of course, I wouldn't miss your aunts cookies for the world. Besides, Mulder, what would I do all day, sit around and wait for Amy to kill me??" I replied laughing slightly at the end of the reply. Mulder too must have been imagining the same sight I was—Amy TRYING to kill me—because he busted out laughing hysterically.
"Yea, like I would let that happen Scully." Mulder said in between laughs. As he said this, I stopped laughing and just looked at him. He too stopped laughing, and we just stared deep into each other's eyes, piercing into each other's souls.
FBI Building
Washington D.C.
December 21, 2001
11:40 PM
***1994-1995……my junior year in high school…my growing stage, my friendships were the most important thing to me. One in particular with a boy named Fox Mulder. It had been the first year me and him ever even uttered a word to each other even though we had been going to school together since the beginning in kindergarten, but some how we never crossed paths. I never noticed him until one of my best friends Diana Fowley had come up to me claiming to have a crush on someone in my grade. Diana being younger than me, and Fox being in my grade, she had come to me for help and support in getting him to notice her and even possibly go out with him. I didn't know him then, and I didn't get to know him well until they had begun to go out about 2 weeks later, with some of my help. All of a sudden it was as if he and I were close friends, we talked about everything, and as his relationship with Diana crashed, he turned to me for comfort and guidance on what to do, and throughout this whole period, my love and caring for Fox Mulder began to become more as I fell head over heels in love with him.
Before I knew it, we were seniors, soon to be the graduating class of 1996. We continued to stay friends, and Diana and I never spoke again after she accused me of stealing Fox away from her. We had our ups and downs, like any other friendship, but when it came time for the tough stuff, we knew we could always turn to each other for comfort and advice. That year was the year we both got stuck without dates to the prom. Even though Fox was considered one of the nicest and cutest guys in my class ("Mr. Popular himself" is what I referred to him as), he still was left without a date, and when the deadline for prom bids came crunching closer, me and him came to a final decision to just go together as friends and enjoy ourselves at our senior prom. What a night that was, and it was the best time of my life. Even though we only went as friends, those who didn't know us could have sworn we were a couple. We danced the first slow song together, and I remember it like it was yesterday. We agreed that we would dance the first and last song together, even if we didn't dance together in between. When the first notes of the first slow song came on, Fox reached his hand out for mine, placed my arms around his neck, and his hands on my hips. At first it was rather uncomfortable, considering we had never been that close before, but soon, we found ourselves just dancing looking into each others eyes, and smiling a lot as we enjoyed our senior prom as the words to the song played……
Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I now you can't stay
A part of you will never go away
Your heart will stay
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gently mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way………….
As the song ended we parted, and once again the fast songs took over. We knew we weren't forced to stay with each other the whole night, that's why we went as friends, but yet for some reason, we never left each others side. We danced together all night long…. Whether it was fast or slow…we were enjoying every moment together. But it seemed as though as soon as this moment began, it came to an abrupt end when the last song, the prom theme, began to play. This time, without any reaching out, Fox grabbed me by the waist and pulled me close. My arms automatically went around his neck and I began to play with his hair, my hands running in and out of it. I placed my head on his chest and closed my eyes…it seemed as though we were floating on clouds as our dance together continued……
Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
For one so small
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
'Cause you'll be in my heart
yes, you'll be in my heart
from this day on
now and forever more
you'll be in my heart
no matter what they say
you'll be here in my heart, always
Why can't they understand
the way we feel
they just can't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
Deep inside us
We're not that different at all
And you'll be in my heart
yes, you'll be in my heart
from this day on
now and forever more
Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
we need each other
to have to hold
They'll see in time
I know…….
I remember losing track of the song…. I became lost in Fox and the moment, a little too much. Soon, I snapped out of it, realizing that one of our friends, was tapping me on the shoulder trying to get us out of the trance we were in. That night was the most exciting and exhilarating night of my life, and it ended with Fox and I just standing on my drive way staring into each others eyes, not breaking our glances until I looked away from his eyes, blushing and smiling, he smiled, took my chin and kissed me on the cheek like any other pair of friends would do. But at this point, the barrier between friendship and relationship had been broken that night for Fox and I.
After the prom, Fox and I didn't really hang out. Things got awkward, and when Diana found out he and I went to prom together, she flipped and things about Fox and my relationship flew around the school endlessly. To stop this nonsense, Fox and I didn't really talk that much, maybe if we were alone or at home on the phone or computer, but never in school, we would look at each other, but we never could even go near each other without a new rumor being formed. Before I knew it, it was graduation. I was so happy to be leaving high school and moving on to bigger and brighter things, but it was hard to say good bye. I remember hugging Fox after the ceremony, giving him a peck on the check, congratulating him and thanking him for everything he had given me over the last year and a half, even though we hadn't really been a major part in each other's lives the past month or so. He gave me that devilish smile that I just couldn't resist and gave me another hug, and said you're welcome. With that he walked out of my life.
The next two years I worked extra hard on my studies. I majored in medicine, but took a biological standing point to the whole topic. During my second year, I was approached by Agent Walter Skinner and a few other directors of the FBI and was asked to leave college earlier to pursue a career in the FBI as a doctor in order to help solve "unsolvable" cases, and if I did and decided some time in the future that it just wasn't for me, they would pay for the rest of my education in order for me to pursue the career of my desire. I took my chances back then, entering the FBI, and became assigned to the "unsolvable" known as the X-Files where I worked with the very witty and kind Agent Drew Waters. We worked together very well, and became very close friends, he was like a brother to me and till this day I still carry a picture of him with me, but after one year of working together, he was killed during one of our cases. I was devastated at the lose of my partner and best friend, but Assistant Director Skinner said that I had to move on and continue to solve the impossible. The FBI was happy with my progress and scientific explanations for the cases we had been able to explain and solve, but they also felt that I needed help and a new partner. They said that they had found new ideas and enthusiasm in a young college student about my age who is looking to enter into this type of field. He was very smart and willing to come and take over the X-Files and help me solve them. That day, A.D. Skinner went with me to gather the needed information and evidence for my next case. My new partner was to meet us at our last destination. When we arrived at the last stop, he was no where to be found. Skinner suggested I go in and gather all the materials I need and then maybe he would arrive by the time I came back out. So I did as the director said, and when I came out, I found Skinner talking to a man, his back was turned to me, but I could see his neatly cut brown hair and the nice blue shirt and navy pants he was wearing. I walked closer, wondering how this new partner of mine was going to work out. When I reached where he was standing, Skinner acknowledged my presence as the young man turned to face me …….it was Fox Mulder!! We looked at each other astounded and laughed at the fact that after2 years of no communication, we had been signed together as partners…..
Those were the good old days. And it's been about a year, a little more actually, since Mulder and I became partners on the X-Files. And now it's Christmas time…. actually exactly three days before Christmas Eve, and I don't know what I'm doing here sitting here in my office with Mulder, when I should be out finishing some shopping, for who, I don't even know, because besides Mulder, who else would I buy for?? Anyway, instead I'm stuck in the basement office finishing up a report that needs to be done before the end of the day….which just happens to be in twenty minutes when it hits midnight. I come back to reality after thinking about the past and once again try to finish the last few thoughts and lines of the report, but keep getting distracted by Mulder who is sitting at his desk, feet up, and throwing paper airplanes into the trash can, not being any of assistance to me who is trying to meet a deadline. But at the same time, I'm happy to have him keeping me company in the big, dusty, quarantined office. He's my sanctuary and savior when it comes to keeping me sane and from going to the nut house, even though in some aspects he could be the one driving me there at the same time. Finally I bring myself back to the report paper sitting in front of me and away from the absolutely gorgeous, relaxing Mulder as he sends a glance my way while folding another paper airplane and I try to act as if I'm not paying attention to him in anyway, but my face turns beat red, as I tuck the piece of fly away hair behind my ear with my free hand, which is shaking now, and at that moment, I can see a smile come across his face out of the corner of my eye just as I finish up the report.
"Done" I finally proclaim heading towards his desk, closing the report folder and tossing it aside on his desk.
"Finally" Mulder says sarcastically and grins at me, getting up from his comfortable position and throwing his last paper airplane perfectly into the garbage can. I smile back and the two of us head out of the office to the elevator, with Mulder guiding the way with his hand on the small of my back, as usual.
Once we reach the parking garage, we head to our cars, which are parked next to each other. Before I get a chance to enter my car, Mulder says, "Scully, what are you doing tomorrow??"
Surprised I looked at him and said, "What??"
"What are you doing tomorrow" he says again.
"Nothing…." I proclaimed, feeling kind of stupid considering it was Christmas time and I had no plans for the first work vacation day. And yet, in my head I was happy he was asking, hoping, and praying, because I wish I could answer that very question at another time with a "hopefully you"….. Whoa tiger, back to reality…as I focus myself back on Mulder and what his point of the whole conversation was.
"Well, do you want to come to my parents' house and bake cookies with the family??" Mulder asks gingerly, with a questioning expression coming across his face as he finishes up his sentence.
"Sure, sounds like fun." I say calmly, even though deep inside I'm jumping for joy and my whole inside is going crazy, almost as if my whole body was partying at the fact that I was getting to spend the day with Mulder and his family, instead of sitting at home all alone during "the most wonderful time of the year", again.
"All right then, come over around noon and we'll bake our brains out" Mulder says with a devilish grin coming across his face, almost as if he is as happy as I was at that moment. And I begin to wonder if he's thinking about the same thing I am at that moment…no, he couldn't be, could he??
Mulder Household
Coventry, CT
December 22
11:55 AM
I park my car on Mulder's parents driveway, and I head to the door nervously, afraid of how the day is going to go and what's going to happen during the day with Mulder. I ring the doorbell, my whole body shaking, and his dad answers the door.
"Hey Dana, how have you been??" He asks.
"Fine, I guess…it's been rough, but being busy with Mulder all day long keeps my mind off everything else." I responded, referring to the deaths of my mother, father, sister, and brother. And yet, at the same time it's almost as if I haven't lost that much. Ever since their deaths, Mulder's family has basically taken me in and it's as if his mother and father were my own, my second parents none the less. I've had a very close relationship with them for what seems like forever, and they've always treated me right.
"Well, hun, come on in…we're getting ready to start the cookies…your just in time for the serious baking hours." His dad says sarcastically, as I enter the house with a smile and laugh lightly at his crack and how Mrs. Mulder yells out from the kitchen at him… "You better watch it bub, otherwise you'll be doing all of them yourself." I continue to laugh, until I go over and sit next to Mulder at the counter table, where we start to mix the ingredients to the cookies. Mrs. Mulder puts the Christmas music on, and continuously sings along with the CD, much to the dismay of Mr. Mulder, who rolls his eyes every time he looks at us.
"Hey Dana, you're not doing anything special for Christmas, are you??" Mr. Mulder asks, trying to block out his wife's singing.
"No, why would I be." I reply.
"Well, then hun, why don't you stay here throughout the holiday. You know your like a daughter to me and Christine, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, and it'll be fun." He says. I look at him, then Mrs. Mulder, and then Mulder, all of them looking at me with this look as if they were begging for me to stay, until I finally broke a smile and said, "Why not." They all smiled and we went back to baking and the Christmas carols.
After about an hour, Mulder finally gets sick and tired of baking cookies, and he goes off to his room, doing god knows what. I stayed and continued to help his parents bake cookies like they were out of style.
4:00 PM
After about four hours of cooking, Mrs. Mulder and I put the finishing touches of icing decoration on the cookies we have just baked. Finally, Mulder decides to grace us with his presence once again and comes into the kitchen. I just look at him and smile, he just starts laughing.
"What??" I ask.
He comes closer to me pointing his finger at my face that is covered with flower and everything else, and says, still laughing, "You've got icing on your nose!!" And he takes his finger removes the icing from my nose, and sticks the delicious icing in his mouth while still looking deep into my eyes, almost mesmerizing me. It seems like we just stood there like that forever and no one else existed, looking into each others eyes, studying each other, both of us basically knowing what's coming next but waiting for the other to make the first move. Just as our faces slightly began to move towards each other, both of us starting to make a move almost simultaneously, the doorbell rang, and we both jumped back, now facing our attention to the entrance to the kitchen, and trying to concentrate on hearing who is at the door.
All of a sudden, Mr. Mulder appears in the kitchen corridor with this blatantly surprised and questioning look on his face. As he enters the kitchen, I see behind him a girl, who runs up to Mulder, puts her arms around his neck and plants a kiss right on his lips. Shocked, I look at the "moment" and then look back at his parents, who look over at me and then look down at the floor covering their faces. Finally the girl releases her lips from Mulder's, still with her arms around his neck, and says, "Fox, I've missed you!!" as she begins to rub her hands in his hair. Then she turns over, looks at me and says, "Oh, hi Dana."
Still shocked, and very upset, I reply, "Amy, what a pleasant surprise." With a lot of sarcasm in my tone, that Mulder must have picked up on right ways because right after saying this, I looked at him with a look that could kill and he right away, turned his face away. Once again I looked at Amy, giving her almost the same look, turned around, and walked right out of the kitchen. After I was out of the sight of everyone else, I ran, booking my way up the stairs to the room that I would be staying in for the next few nights. There, I plopped on the familiar bed that I always used every time I stayed at the Mulder's, grabbed my favorite stuffed bear, curled up into a ball, and sat there in the corner of bed/room. I cried my eyes out, my eyeliner mixing in with all the flower and other ingredients on my face until they dripped off with each tear, leaving streaks of uncovered skin on my face.
It seems as though I just sat there for hours, crying uncontrollably until my eyes couldn't cry any more. All I could think about was him and Amy, KISSING, and how just before they shared their "moment" I almost kissed Mulder. How stupid could I be?? I mean really. He and Amy went out for 6 months, almost all those 6 months during the time in which Mulder and I had begun to work with each other, and they broke up just about a half a year ago for some stupid reason, how could I have thought that Mulder was over her and actually liked me?? And if I did kiss him, he probably would've pulled back anyway, he's in love with Amy and that's all there is to it, why else would he let her kiss him like that?? It's over, everything's over. I will never love another man again the way I love Mulder, and now, the one man I truly love with all my heart has slipped away to his ex who randomly comes back into his life after a half a year of departure. Everything's changed, and I feel as though I've lost everything, again.
I finally decide, after thinking continuously about the subject, to get up and head to the bathroom to clean my self up and throw some cold water on my face. Looking in the mirror, I realize exactly how big of a mess I really am. My face is covered in patches of flower that are interrupted by streaks of wetness from my tears and lines of black from the eye liner that flowed off as well. I go to clean off my face, but before I even get the chance to touch my face, I randomly start crying again. It's almost as if I had regained all the water needed for another crying episode, and once again I found myself crying uncontrollably. After a few minutes, I hear a knock on the bathroom door, "Dana it's William" I hear coming from the other side. I go over to the door, unlock the knob and let Mr. Mulder in. He comes in, shuts the bathroom door, takes one good look at my messy, covered face, grabs a wash clothe and begins to gently wipe all the damage away from my face and glassy, water filled eyes.
"I can't believe this….how could he do this?? I love him William, and I almost kissed him, until that blond bitch interrupted, and then they KISS!!?? What's happening??" I say to my second father, knowing he'll listen and give me the best reassurance and advice possible. And as he continues to clean up my face, and is just about finished, I begin to cry again.
"Dana, please don't cry again. Everything will work out fine, trust me. He cares about you Dana, you have to know that. Amy's just a distraction, she means nothing to him." He says trying to reassure me that my almost kiss with Mulder was not a mistake, and that Amy has no place in Mulder's heart.
"Then why, William, why?? Why did he go along with her?? Why didn't he push her away when she kissed him?? Why??" I say, my voice squeaking as tears come to my eyes again.
"I dunno what to tell you Dana, I can't figure my own son out sometimes, and this is definitely one of those times." William says shaking his head, not knowing exactly what to say to me to make me feel better. But in my heart I know that if he knew what to say, he would say it…but there really is nothing else he can say. The damage to my heart had been done, and my heart is broken just seeing Amy kiss Mulder, and now, there's no way to fix my torn apart heart, or to undo the damage that has already been done.
Mulder Household
Coventry, CT
December 23
7:03 AM
…….. "Mulder…I love you…please"…. "I'm sorry Scully.."…. RING… RING… RING…(I wake up) Oh my god…. I'm even dreaming about losing Mulder, this is crazy!! I pick my head up to look at the clock… 7:04…oh my god. I lay my head back down on the pillow and just lay there looking up at the ceiling recalling all the events that had happened yesterday. I can hear William on the phone down the hall talking to someone, but I'm so worked up and concentrating on all the events of yesterday that I can't even make out what or who he is talking to. All of a sudden William enters the room.
"Dana, hun, you have to get up, that was your boss, Walter Skinner, he says that he's sorry, but he needs both you and Mulder to come in today and work on this one case for him. It's not an X-File, but you're the only two he could get a hold of. Mulder is already ready."
"Ok, I'll be down in about 20 minutes." I say, rolling myself out of the bed and into the cold air. I head into the bathroom and quickly enter the shower, washing my hair quickly, and then finally getting dressed into my black skirt that goes down about mid-shin, my white tank top and my black over coat. I grab my heels, and run down the stairs. I stop, put my shoes on and grab the cup of coffee that Christine had ready for me. I run to the window and notice that Mulder is out in the car waiting for me, and that it had snowed a lot last night. I grab a scarf and pair of gloves.
"Thanks mom and dad…" I yell running out the door and into the car, the sooner we get to the case sight, the sooner we can get home, and the less time I have to spend with Mulder in dead silence and tension. All of a sudden, Amy comes booking out of the house to the car.
"Fox, I'm gonna tag along, I know I haven't been working with you guys in a while, but I'm sure it'll be fun." She says, giving him this innocent smile while batting her eyes. Mulder, looks at her, then looks at me, I roll my eyes and turn to look out the window, trying not to pay any attention to either of them.
Amy enters the back seat and sits. She looks at Mulder through the rear view mirror, puts her little puppy dog eyes on and says, "Fox, will you come sit back her with me??" I look at Mulder, who breathes heavily, opens the door, and gets out adding, "You can drive, Scully." Disappointed with his choice to sit with Amy, I get up open the door, get out, and then slam the door shut. I walk around to the other side of the car, with my angry face on, get in the car, turn the car on, and begin to reverse out of the driveway. The sooner we left, the sooner I could come back to the house and I could just run up to my bedroom, shut the door, and act like the two in the back seat didn't exist.
Cromwell Home for the Criminally Insane
Cromwell, CT
3:01 PM
We arrived at the place, the Cromwell Home for the Criminally Insane. The place was built with bricks, and actually looked more like an office work area then an insane asylum. I stopped the car, and looked through the rear view mirror to find Amy, with her hand very carefully massaging the inside of Mulder's thigh, very close to his groin. I thought I was going to hurl. With disgust, I opened the door, and walked towards the entrance to the asylum. I could hear Mulder walking up behind me as he called out, "Wait up Scully." But I continued to walk, not slowing my accelerating pace at all, until I felt Mulder's presence right next to me as he put his hand on the small of my back. This made me uneasy, he had just let Amy touch him…and he didn't even flinch at the touch, or push her away, and now here he was acting like nothing happened and everything was normal. To prevent the uncomfortable feeling I had in the pit of my stomach from becoming more then just a feeling, I pushed Mulder's hand off of my back with my forearm, and walked faster so that he didn't have enough time to try and place his hand on the small of my back once again. As I continued to walk into the asylum I could just picture Amy smiling at the fact that I had just pushed Mulder away from me, she would be so happy, she was accomplishing her mission rather well.
Finally, I gathered everything needed, when truthfully I felt as though I didn't even need to go over the information because the outcome of the case was evident already, I walked out of the asylum, and Mulder was still walking beside me even though I never acknowledged his presence. About 15 feet from the car, he stopped me.
"Scully, what's wrong with you??" he asked gingerly as if he truthfully had no idea.
"Mulder, you should…….you know what, never mind….just go back to the back seat with your playmate, ok." I replied very harshly, but I just couldn't believe he had the nerve to ask that question, it was apparently obvious what was wrong…how could he be so blind??
"But Scully….."
"No, I don't want to hear it." I replied even harsher then before, and with that I walked to the car, sat down in the drivers seat once again, and started the car as Mulder entered the car, this time to sit in the front with me, which surprised me at first. Finally noticing Mulder's change in seating arrangements, Amy's once smile turned into a very disappointed frown. Even though he was sitting with me, I was still a little uneasy about the whole Amy thing, my mind still believed that Mulder liked Amy, that he was just trying to get me to not be mad at him anymore, but my heart begged to differ. It wanted to believe that Mulder's choice to sit in the front was his way of choosing me over Amy, and that he felt the same way about me that I did about him. No matter what his choice meant, I wasn't about to let my guard down just to be hurt again.
Mulder Household
Coventry, CT
4:44 PM
Finally we had arrived back at the house, and just in time for dinner. Chris and William had made their famous pasta with spaghetti sauce, bread and butter, meatball and sausage—One of my favorites when I would spend time at Mulder's house. And go figure, Amy would place herself right next to Mulder at the dinner table, but just in case she had forgotten, I plopped myself on the other side, just as a reminder that Mulder was still my partner and best friend, and that I wasn't just about to give up on him that easily, even if Mulder truthfully did like Amy. William walked behind me, placing his arm on my back as he walked by, almost as if he were giving me the support I needed to annoy Amy, and sat right beside me on my left side. Dinner went pretty well, but Amy enjoyed bringing up her and Mulder's past relationship and talking about all they use to do. I could tell that this conversation was getting out of control, rather SHE was getting out of control, especially when I caught a glimpse of Mulder's bright red, uncomfortable face, and then I knew that Amy must be, once again, rubbing the inside of Mulder's thigh. Noticing this, I made sure no one was looking as I dropped my fork, got up and went under the table acting as if I was going to find it. When I got under the table, sure enough, there was Amy's hand, placed only centimeters away from Mulder's groin. Becoming furious and sick, I took my fork, stabbed Amy's hand with it, and got out from under the table.
"Oww" Amy screamed in a high pitched voice.
"Found the fork!!" I said calmly with a smile on my face as I once again took my place in my seat, cleaned of the fork, and went back to eating the pasta. Amy just gave me a dirty look, and if looks could kill, I would have fallen over dead at that very moment. Chris and William just looked at me, I shrugged my shoulders as if I had no idea what happened, they just laughed, which made Amy even more furious. I looked over at Mulder who gave me this look of relief, but which also said a silent 'Thank you' along with it, but I was still angry, and still confused about every thing, so I just looked at him straight faced and then went back to finishing up my dinner.
9:50 PM
"Everyone, we're gonna decorate the tree now, lets go!!" I could hear Chris yell out from the living room, and with that, I got up from comfortable position on my bed and headed down the stairs to the living room.
When I got into the connector between the dining room and living room, I stopped, and just leaned against the wall and watched as the three Mulder family members hung up their ornaments that had their name on them. Mulder's ornament was green, which I figured probably represented the little green men he always dreamed on finding, William's was blue, and Chris's was purple. Mulder then reached his hand back into the box and pulled out mine, which was red, and as Mulder said, fit perfectly because it reminded him exactly of my fiery red hair, and placed it only a few inches away from his, representing our friendship and partnership. My ornament was added to the tree back in the day when Mulder and I were close friends in high school, back when I spent as much time at this house as I did at my own. It probably was taken off when he and I lost contact, and then last year when we became partners, my ornament was once again placed on the tree. I loved these ornaments, they had a special feature that I had always thought was the greatest thing ever invented. On each side of our names dangled a heart, matching the color of the ornaments. The hearts were used to represent our mate, our love for whomever we were committed to. My ornament still had both of my red hearts, and Mulder's still both of his green ones, but Chris's and William's had one blue and purple each representing their marriage and love for one another.
After watching this with a smile on my face, I noticed Amy, who was sitting on the couch with this upset, bitchy look on her face. She was probably jealous. Mulder had placed my ornament on the tree, and there was no ornament to represent Amy, plus, all three of them (Mulder, Chris and William) were so wrapped up in their decorating that it almost seemed Amy didn't exist to them. This made me smile even more, especially when she began to wine, and they still didn't acknowledge her presence on the couch.
"Uh oh…" I heard William say, and I finally directed my attention back to the other three, and back to reality, away from all my happy thoughts of an miserable Amy. "…Look who's under the mistletoe!!"
All of a sudden, everyone was looking at me. Confused, I looked up, to find the mistletoe right above my head. The next thing I knew, William had pushed Mulder right in front of me, and now here I was face to face with my partner and best friend, looking deep into his eyes once again, for the second time in two days. His left hand came to rest upon my right cheek, and I began to shake. 'Oh my god, is this really happening?? Is he going to kiss me??' I had to break the glance that he and I were sharing, other wise my emotions were about to get the best of me and I was about to break down into tears. I broke the gaze, and focused my eyes onto another vision, that being William holding Amy back from interrupting the miracle that was about to occur. Then my mind reverted back to everything that had happened within the past two days—Amy kissing Mulder, Mulder not pushing her away; Mulder going and sitting in the back seat with Amy when she asked, and him allowing her to rub her hand on his inner thigh. All this soon made me upset, angry, and even more confused then I was a few seconds ago. I brought myself back to focusing on Mulder. He was still staring at me, and leaning in as if he were just about to make his move, but before he could, I pulled back.
"I can't do this…" I stumbled out as I lost control of all my emotions, and immediately started to sob. With this episode, I lightly pushed Mulder out of the way, and ran out of the living room, up the stairs, to my bedroom when I buried my head into the pillows and continued to bawl my eyes out. Not about five minutes passed by, and Mulder came into the room.
"Scully….are you ok??" Mulder said, shyly, and very nervously.
"Mulder, just go away, I just want to be alone." I replied being muffled by my pillow as well as my continuous sobs.
"We need to talk though Scully." Mulder said as he came to sit on the edge of my bed. He used his left hand to turn me around, and pull me up so that I was sitting right next to him on the bed as he lightly wiped away all the tears that were going down my cheeks. "Why did you run Scully?? And why are you ignoring me??"
"Mulder, you should know why." I replied, holding back more tears.
"You want to shine a little light on me and tell me, because truthfully, I don't have a clue??"
"You like Amy, don't you??" I asked.
"No, Scully. She's the past." Mulder said in the most serious tone.
"But she kissed you, and you didn't even pull away from her. You just let her kiss you!! Not to mention her little rubbing massage in the back seat and at the dinner table, you just allowed her to do whatever she wanted and didn't even stop her. How can you tell me that you don't like her??" I replied, my tone getting harsher as the words came out.
"Scully, listen to me…. I don't love Amy. I may have at one point a while ago, but that's over, it's in the past. I don't know what I was thinking when I didn't push her away. That was wrong of me. I didn't know that it upset you so much. I'm so sorry Scully…I'm really…."Mulder trailed off as Amy walked into the room, rudely interrupting.
"Fox, aren't you gonna come and cuddle with me by the fire…??" Amy said in her high pitched begging voice, as she put on her puppy dog-face and acted as if she were going to cry.
Mulder looked at me, then back at her. "Actually Amy, I'm in the middle of something very important right now, and you're interrupting it. Can you please leave so that I can finish talking with Scully??"
"But Foxie…." Amy started to whine, but I interrupted her.
"Listen bitch, we are trying to talk right now. Now get the hell out!!" I screamed at her viciously, as William walked into the room, grabbing Amy, and pulling her out of the room so that Mulder and I could finish our conversation, or should I say, get our friendship back on track.
"Now, what were you saying before we were so RUDELY interrupted??" I asked Mulder changing my tone from the vicious scream that it was a few seconds ago to my now calm and 'very eager to finish our conversation' voice.
"Look, Scully, I'm really, really, really sorry if I upset you…I didn't mean to. I…."Mulder said very meekly, as if he were whispering, and he had his head down like a accused dog who was waiting for the 'go in your cage' punishment. His actions made me even more upset, and I felt really bad.
"Mulder…." I said, lifting his face up with my right hand. "It's ok…I forgive you. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gotten that angry and upset. But it's over now, and everything's ok". And as I said this, Fox Mulder's gloomy, depressed face turned in to this one big grin, and before I could react and get a small smile on my own face, Mulder had his arms wrapped around me in this one big bear hug. I gasped at first, not realizing what he was doing, but then I too joined him and placed my arms around his neck returning the hug that renewed our friendship. We just sat there for what seemed like forever. He continuously rubbed soft, comforting circles on my back, and I slide my hands up into his hair, massaging his scalp. At one point during this re-connecting moment, I could have sworn in even heard a slight sob, and could have felt Mulder's tears slide off his cheeks and on to my shoulder.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity, we finally broke our grasp on each other. We sat there staring at each other for a few minutes until Mulder finally broke the silence.
"I'm glad were back to normal Scully. I guess we should go to bed huh?? I'll leave you now…good night Scully." Mulder said with this huge grin on his face that covered his entire face, and with his last bidding of good night, he leaned in and kissed me slightly and softly on the cheek. In that instant, I felt a rush of blood go to my face, and chills run throughout my body. How could this one man have such an affect on me?? I thought. And as I watched him walk towards the bedroom door, I realized exactly how in love with him I truly was…he was my life, my soul mate, and the only person I would go to the edge of the Earth and back for. Finally after I broke out of my trance, I got the nerve to reply back to his last words.
"Hey Mulder."
"Yea??"
"I'm happy too…ya know…that were back." And once again, that smile came across his face, and I just began to melt once again. But so that my emotions and excitement were not evident to him, I quickly continued….
"Good night Mulder, and sweet dreams" I said smiling as he walked out of my bed room door, shutting it on the way out so that I could still maintain some privacy. After the door closed completely, I just fell back on my pillow, continuing to smile. All I could think about was Mulder, how much I loved him, and how happy I was that he and I finally had our original friendship back. Finally, with all these good thoughts continuing through my head, I rolled over to my side, curled up under the covers and fell asleep knowing that tonight was going to be filled with exceptionally good dreams, and that tomorrow would be a great day to wake up to.
Mulder Household
December 24
9:31 AM
I shifted under the covers, and suddenly felt the warmth of the sun on my face, the only part of me that peeked out of the covers. I opened my eyes to find the bright, warm, and glaring sun shining through the curtains of my room. I turned around under the covers to check the clock on the bed stand located on the other side, but before my eyes could wander to the clock, they were distracted by something else. Mulder. Who just happened to be standing in the doorway entrance to my room. How long had he been standing there??
"Merry Christmas Eve, sleepy head." He said with this huge, suspicious grin as he entered the room and made his way towards the bed, where he sat next to my curled up body.
"How long have you been there Mulder??" I asked curiously and nervously.
"Not long…only a few minutes actually. I came to see if you were up yet, but when I opened the door, you were still curled up under the covers asleep. I didn't want to disturb you. You looked so innocent just sleeping there all wrapped up with blankets, so I just stood there for a while. I was just about to leave when you stirred."
"Oh….."
"So….are you going to join us when we go to my Auntie Lyn's for Christmas Eve dinner??" Mulder asked eagerly and hopefully.
"Of course, I wouldn't miss your aunts cookies for the world. Besides, Mulder, what would I do all day, sit around and wait for Amy to kill me??" I replied laughing slightly at the end of the reply. Mulder too must have been imagining the same sight I was—Amy TRYING to kill me—because he busted out laughing hysterically.
"Yea, like I would let that happen Scully." Mulder said in between laughs. As he said this, I stopped laughing and just looked at him. He too stopped laughing, and we just stared deep into each other's eyes, piercing into each other's souls.