"And in other celebrity news, Jo Taylor from the hit teen drama 'New Town High' was seen smooching with her new costar on AND off the set of her new project set in beautiful New Zealand. While details on this new nugget of gossip are sketchy at best, we'll keep you updated on just what goes down between these two new lovebirds."
Just like that, Kendall Knight's new world that he struggled so hard to rebuild came crashing back down around him at the sheer mention of his ex-girlfriend having found love in some far-off country. The remote control in his hand clattered on the floor, though the sound was so far away in the blond singer's mind. He could barely register the eyes around the room that focused on him, all of them looking as if they were trying to find some way to soften the blow, but each one coming up empty.
That's it, Kendall thought to himself, the sentence overwhelming in its finality as it moved through his mind, It's really over.
For the longest time since Jo left, Kendall held a torch for her, a large part of him believing that she'd come back for him after her filming in New Zealand was over and done with. He had hoped that they could continue where they left off; they'd drink pink smoothies in the park on one of their spontaneous dates, or make lovey eyes to each other by the Palm Woods pool, or just spend time together after one of Kendall's hare-brained schemes suddenly backfired. There were so many experiences that went through the blond's mind, but they all focused on the same central aspect that Jo would come back and still want him. It never even occurred to him that anything to the contrary could happen.
The screenshot of his ex-girlfriend on the television, smooching with some hunk on a beach, quickly shattered those fantasies.
The only words that the blond could form dropped from his lips, "I can't believe it."
"Really? 'Cause it's kinda right there in," Carlos began before being cut off by a punch to the arm from Logan, "OW! What was that for?"
"He knows that, Carlos," Logan said quietly through gritted teeth.
Kendall's three friends, James Diamond, Carlos Garcia, and Logan Mitchell, gathered around him as James laid a hand on the blond's shoulder, "You okay, buddy?"
"We haven't even been broken up for all that long," Kendall tried to reason, the grip around his heart all too familiar, as he knew tears would soon start welling in his eyes, "and she jumps on the first guy she has a scene with?"
"I'm sure it's not that simple," James started before moving on a tangent, "I mean, look at him. He's not all that pretty. I mean, not compared to me. Then again, who is?"
"Ixnay on the ettypray," Logan muttered in pig-Latin.
"I'm just gonna," Kendall started to say, his voice shaking more and more as he tried to fight the angry tears of betrayal that were starting form, No, don't cry over her, man. Not in front of your friends at least.
With that, he was up like a shot as he bolted to the room that he and Logan shared. He didn't even bother to slow down even as he heard his friends call after him, concern and pity dripping in their voices.
I thought that day was the worst ever. Losing your girlfriend in an instant just sucks, Kendall thought to himself as he faceplanted onto his bed and started to let the tears flow onto his pillow, But finding out on national television that she's moved on sucks so much more.
…
Ouch, Logan Mitchell thought to himself as he heard the door to his and Kendall's room slam behind the blond, and the brunet could feel his heart falling in his chest, I hate to see him like that.
The memories of the aftermath of Jo's departure were still fresh in the young genius's mind. Big Time Rush had to record their hit summer single, but all Kendall wanted to do was lay facedown on the couch, sobbing with the occasional pathetic sigh. The group of single friends did whatever they could to try to shake him from his funk, only for James and Carlos to befall the same fate. They managed to shake off heartbreak in time to record their single "If I Ruled The World" and save themselves from Griffin's or-else treatment, but anyone who paid attention could see that it was still a sore subject for the blond. Logan dreaded the possibility of Kendall falling into another downward spiral. It hurt the brunet enough to see it for the first time.
The four members of Big Time Rush were the best of friends; they lived together, worked together, had fun together, and they were practically inseparable. Logan, however, had always felt something more than brotherly love for Kendall. Back in Minnesota, when the genius and the thrill-seeker first met, Logan had come under fire from school bullies. As Kendall put it, he arrived and rained down the old Knight fury on the bullies. In reality, though, the blond had managed to hold his own, but not without suffering his own injuries, most notably two black eyes, a busted lip, and two broken fingers from overuse. The savage display, along with the added protection of James and Carlos, made young Logan safe, but also sparked something inside the genius's heart, a feeling that strongly persisted to this day.
By now, the raw emotion was staggering, but Logan sighed to himself as he looked down at his hands, fidgeting, He's straight though, and nothing's ever gonna come of this for me. Still, I hate seeing him hurt so bad.
"There has to be some way we can help," Logan piped up, the thought rolling off his lips before he could stop it.
James shrugged in response, "Yeah, but how? We can't let this turn out like last time. My perfect record won't take another hit like that."
"Yeah, last thing we need is another blubbering mess," Logan chuckled, thinking back to when James went out with one of the Jennifers, only to be dumped minutes later and wind up another victim of heartbreak.
"We do not talk about that," James shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at Logan, "It has officially been excised from my record!"
The brunet looked up at the pretty-boy, "You brought it up! And the word you're looking for is, 'expunged.'"
"I knew that!" James retorted, his finger still pointed straight at the genius.
"Still, guys," Logan continued, "What are we gonna do?"
Carlos thought for a moment before exclaiming, "How about we set him up with another girl? Then, he can forget about Jo!"
"Nah," James dismissed, waving his hand, "Girl won't work. All he'll think about is how she's similar to Jo, or different from Jo, or how Jo is a girl… Disaster waiting to happen."
Thanks, James, Logan thought to himself, sighing quietly in relief.
Carlos piped up again, "How about we mess with Gustavo? We can tar and feather him, or coat his piano bench in super glue, or we have that old stand-by of melted butter, a lunch box, and jumper cables!"
Wide-eyed, James and Logan both looked at Carlos, shouting, "NO!"
"Besides, Gustavo and Kelly are in New York for the week," the genius reasoned, "and, even if they were here, the last thing I really want is ten hours of harmonies."
Carlos sat back, his face pensive again, "Oh yeah…"
The three boys sat in silence again for a moment before Logan sat up and started walking towards his room, "Forget it. I'm just gonna talk to him."
He could hear his friends talk behind him as he moved towards the door.
"Think he'll make it out alive?"
"I give him ten minutes before he's the second sobbing mess."
In front of the door, Logan could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he raised his hand to knock on the door. He paused, his fist poised to rap on the wooden door.
Do I really want to do this? the genius thought to himself, biting his lower lip, I could walk away right now. Let him cry this one out and pretty soon, he'll be the same old Kendall.
A choked and pitiful, little sob came from the other side of the door, and a surge of pity ran through the brunet's heart as he found the resolve to knock on the door, calling, "Kendall! It's Logan. I'm coming in, okay?"
He heard a shuffling, some sniffling, and finally Kendall's voice in response, "No! Go away!"
The sheer defiance in those few words made Logan think of a bold, rebellious five year-old, and it made him chuckle before he composed himself and continued, "It's my room, too, Kendall."
"So?" came the quick reply, "Sleep on the couch."
Logan shook his head, "Uh-uh! We did that last time, and it's not happening again. I'm coming in whether you want me to or not. If the door's locked, I'll get Carlos to break it down. I mean it."
A brief silence hung in the air between the two rooms before Kendall sighed and answered, "Fine. Door's open."
Sure enough, as Logan wrapped his hand around the doorknob and turned, it clicked open, but Logan wasn't prepared for what he saw on the other side of the door.
Kendall Knight was a wreck, which was impressive given that he was in the room for under five minutes. He was laying facedown on his bed, his lithe body straight as board, a position was all too familiar to Logan. Kendall's blond hair was disheveled and messy, and from what the brunet could see of his friend's face, his cheeks were blotchy and tear-stained red. A constant groaning seemed to come from the heartbroken thrill-seeker's mouth, interrupted every so often by a hiccup or a clipped sob.
Poor Kendall, Logan thought to himself as he felt his heart sink deeper in his chest.
Kendall's voice rang out, though muffled as his face was pressed into the mattress, "What do you want, Logan?"
"Well," the genius began, but not really sure how to proceed, "uh, I was just wondering… how you, y'know… uh, yuh, bleep, blap, bloop…"
He blushed as he watched Kendall turn around, his face raw and still wet as a shaky voice rattled out, "What?"
Oh, god, look at him, Logan mused as he just requested, "Talk to me, Kendall. Please?"
"I don' wanna," was the quick reply as Kendall returned to faceplanting into his bed.
"Come on," the brunet continued, moving closer to the blond's bed as he sat down next to his heartbroken friend and started to rub a hand up Kendall's back, "I'll listen, I won't tell anyone what you say, I'll do anything you want… Just please, talk to me."
When Kendall turned to face Logan again, a rush of thoughts went through the genius's head, Look at him. He's so beautiful, but so sad and lonely. I want to help you so much, Kendall. I kinda want to start with flying to New Zealand and strangling Jo, but I know that wouldn't really help. Besides, that would constitute premeditation.
The blond sniffled as he talked in a shaky, small voice, "Do you think she even cared at all? Or was I just some Hollywood fling?"
"That's crazy, Kendall," Logan replied, "Jo was crazy about you. But, stardom takes us to crazy places, and sometimes we get hit with something we didn't see coming."
"I hate that word," Kendall moped.
"What?" Logan asked, "'Coming?' Well, I beg to differ, I actually like that word a lot."
The corners of Kendall's lips gave the slightest upturn of a smile at Logan's dirty joke.
"I see a smile there," the genius teased for a moment before his voice became comforting, yet serious again, "What word?"
"'Was,'" Kendall answered, "Jo was here. She was my girlfriend. Jo was crazy about me. But, I look around now and look at the isn't's. Jo isn't here anymore. She isn't my girlfriend anymore. She isn't crazy about me anymore. She hasn't even called, friend or otherwise, to talk to me in like… two weeks."
Logan asked, "Then, why haven't you called her?"
"I have," Kendall replied, wiping away at his eyes, "The first three times I did though, I caught her when she was on set or something and she couldn't talk, so I just figured that I wouldn't bug her anymore while she was filming or something. She called me, and then she just called less and less… I really thought she loved me, Logie."
The brunet thrilled inside as he heard the cherished nickname fall from the blond's lips, but he only allowed a small smile on his face before he spoke again, "She did, Kendall. New Zealand's far away though, and she'll be there for a while. I don't want to sound cold, but could you really expect her to wait that long?"
A look of shock came over Kendall's face as he answered, "I guess not, but… it just sucks, Logie."
"I know," Logan responded, giving Kendall a hug, wrapping his arms around his shuddering friend, "I know."
The young genius inhaled Kendall's scent as he squeezed the blond affectionately. The young Knight's scent was like a drug, and it sent the young Mitchell soaring every time he found himself close enough to smell it. Everything about Kendall had that effect on Logan, and the genius was surprised that his crush hadn't managed to put the puzzle together.
As he felt Kendall hug him back, Logan figured that was a situation for another day. Today was about Kendall and making him feel better.
"Okay, Kendall," Logan finally let go with a little hesitation, before wiping some of the tears left on the blond's cheek, "I'll make today about you. What do you want to do besides sit here moping all day?"
"Are you sure I can't mope?" Kendall asked, his voice almost comically hopeful, "I'm really good at that."
Logan laughed as he nudged his crush gently in the shoulder, "Yes, I'm sure you can't. I won't let you. Come on, what do you wanna do?"
I can think of a few things, the genius thought before he could stop it, and a glimmer of lust entered his eye as he bit his lower lip, hoping that it would come across to Kendall more as anxious expectation than rampant horniness.
After a moment of apparently deep thought, Kendall responded with, "Pink smoothies? And could it be just you? I love James and Carlos, but I really don't think I can be nice if I have to wrangle them along like this."
"No problem, Kendall. I'm sure they can find some way to keep occupied til we get back. Now, get out of bed, wash your face, and let's go," Logan accepted as he beamed happily, happy that he had managed to get Kendall out of his funk before it could set in, but even happier that he'd get to spend the day hanging out with just Kendall.
Kendall scoffed in a mock annoyed tone, "Yes, mom."
No James, No Carlos, and best of all, Logan thought to himself as he headed out the door, No Jo.
…
Kendall had to admit, spending the day with Logan was really taking his mind off of all the drama of the morning. After his little bout of depression, it seemed that the day was really turning around. The two had gotten jumbo smoothies, had a private brain-freeze race, rode go karts, saw the cheesy new Deathcrunch action flick, and were now walking along the path of the Palm Woods park. The two boys talked about everything, from video games and hockey standings to their past relationships with Camille and Jo. It surprised the blond just how easy it was to open up about his heartbreak, but the diligence and attention Logan gave him surprised him all the more.
As the two sat down together on a park bench, Kendall could easily say that this was the best day he had in a long time, and it made him happy to see just how much his friend cared about him.
"You okay there?" Logan asked, snapping the blond out of his daze.
"Oh, yeah, Logie," Kendall answered, his ears blushing at being caught in an absent-minded headspace, "I was just thinking. I haven't had fun like this in a while. Just, thanks."
Logan looked down at the ground for a moment before he reasoned, "You don't have to thank me, Kendall. I care about you. I just want to see you happy. Besides, I had a lot of fun, too. Especially when I whipped you at go karts."
"Yeah, whatever. You got lucky, Mitchell," Kendall teased, as he looked at his friend's face, his mind musing, I'm lucky to have such good friends, and Logan is amazing. He's so smart and fun and caring and cute… Wait, what?
A look of shock spilled over his face, prompting Logan to comment with a smile, "Stop thinking so hard, Kendall. You'll short yourself out."
Kendall gave a short laugh at the little joke, but inside his head, his mind started racing, Where did that come from? I couldn't have just thought that Logan is cute! I mean, the whole reason I'm out here is because I'm trying to get over Jo… AGAIN! Look at him though… Sweet, dark brown eyes, like molten chocolate. Mmmmm, wouldn't mind seeing Logan in chocolate… No! Where's all this coming from?
"You do know I was kidding, right?" the brunet asked, his face now a mask of concern, "I didn't mean to call you dumb or anything."
The blond shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts as he replied, "No, I mean, yeah, I knew you were kidding. Sorry, Logan. Just did a lot today, and I'm kinda tired. What time is it?"
Logan looked down at his wrist before answering, "Yikes, it's almost seven! I didn't even notice that the sun was setting."
"Guess we should be getting back to the apartment?" Kendall asked, a surprisingly big part of him a bit bummed that the day had to end like this.
"Yeah," the brunet responded, almost mirroring the disappointment, "Your mom'll kill us if we miss dinner. Are you feeling better?"
Well, I'm not really worried much about Jo anymore, but now I can't take my eyes off you, Kendall thought in response, but could only smile and answer, "Yeah, a whole lot better."
That incredible smile spread across Logan's face, and a familiar feeling rose in the blond's chest. He easily recognized it as the emotion he used to feel around Jo; it was when Kendall would feel his heart swell with happiness to the point where he could barely contain it, and it just made the world around him seem so much brighter. He wasn't sure if it was love, but he didn't want to lose it.
"Great!" Logan exclaimed, as he stood up from the bench, "My work here is done! Let's head home."
Then came that familiar sinking feeling within Kendall's chest, like his heart was deflating, as the realization hit: Logan was straight. He'd spent all that time with Camille, all that time spent between the four friends chasing girls… There was no way that Logan would feel the same way about Kendall when the blond could barely put these new feelings into words. Besides, they were best friends, and after such a great day, the blond leader couldn't risk putting such a valuable friendship on the line for a shot at something that could just be a fling.
Kinda back where I started, Kendall thought.
"Yoo-hoo, Kendall!" Logan said lightly, waving a hand in front of his friend's face, "You have that look on your face again. Like you're thinking too hard."
Only about you, the blond thought quickly again before shaking his head and answering, "I'm fine. Let's just head home."
Can I really be falling for him? Kendall thought as the two started the walk back to 2J, Can I really be falling for Logan? I mean, he's cute, he's smart, he's funny, and we get along great! I enjoy being around him, and it hurts when I'm not. I just… can I really allow myself to start feeling this way about someone who doesn't like me back?
…
Tonight's dinner in Apartment 2J was dinosaur-shaped chicken, an apparent favorite of the boys of Big Time Rush. Carlos and James were, as always, eating ravenously in between their dinosaur duels and spreading little bits of corn and potatoes all over their sections of the table. Katie was craftilysneaking pieces of chicken off of Carlos's plate, only to be caught by Mrs. Knight and forced to return the pieces to the Latino's plate. Kendall was eating slowly, apparently engrossed in his food as he shifted bits of corn and chicken around his plate, taking a bite every so often. And Logan, was watching Kendall from across the table.
I'm really glad I got to spend the day with Kendall, the genius thought as he took a bite of chicken and swallowed, I just wish that we could do that all the time. Pretty soon, I know he'll find a girl and he'll be back out doing things with her, and I'll just be a shoulder to cry on again.
Logan looked glumly down at his plate, scooping a bite of potatoes and corn into his mouth. It always sucked when he spent any amount of time around his blond crush, because when the time ends and they're back to their own separate activities, it always leaves the young genius alone with his thoughts about what could be, or if he had just taken the extra step and tried. But then, that ugly beast known as doubt would raise its ugly head and tell him that Kendall is straight, and nothing on this green earth could make him feel any differently.
Logan just moved the food around his plate, It just sucks.
"What's wrong, Logan?" Mama Knight asked, a concerned look on her face, "You've barely touched anything on your plate. Are you feeling okay?"
Oh, god, Logan thought, remembering just how Kendall's mom treats her charges when they're ill, "I'm fine, Mrs. Knight. I think I just had too much popcorn at the movies."
"You went to the movies?" James asked, his expression betrayed.
"Please tell me you guys didn't see the new Deathcrunch!" Carlos joined, horrified.
Logan shrugged, "Uh, yeah… It was really cheesy."
Kendall joined in, "Yeah, so much gratuitous violence."
The brunet turned to Kendall, "I didn't think you knew what, 'gratuitous,' meant."
The blond shrugged this time, "Had to learn something from you."
Logan looked down, a blush spreading across his cheeks, He actually learned something from me… Sweet!
Carlos jumped up from his chair, spilling over James's chocolate milk in the process as he yelled, "Gratuitous violence!"
"Dude, not again!" James complained at his spilled milk before launching himself at Carlos as the two began to wrestle on the floor, "I'll show you violence!"
Logan chanced a look over at Kendall, who was now enthralled by watching his two friends competing on the floor. It was like his heartbreak today never happened. This was the old Kendall, the one who enjoyed hanging out with his best friends, playing lobby hockey and constantly checking Carlos into something breakable, and who wouldn't let a girl come between him and his bros. It was refreshing to see, but this was also the same Kendall who would only see Logan as a friend; maybe as a kindred spirit, but nothing more. The very thought of this day turning out so great and then things becoming like before was heartbreaking to Logan.
"Can I be excused?" the brunet asked, standing up, "I'm not really hungry and I want to take a shower before bed."
"Go ahead," Mrs. Knight allowed.
With that, Logan walked past his wrestling friends, the dinner table, and his crush towards the bathroom. As he entered the room, and felt the cool air of the tiled room on his skin, he closed his eyes and began to strip off his clothes. In a moment, he'd be underneath the cold stream of the showerhead, and he'd be able to stop himself for another night from pleasuring himself to thoughts of his best friend, thoughts that would never reach fruition.
….
"Well, I guess dinner's over, then," Kendall's mom said, now that Logan was taking a shower and Carlos and James were still wrestling on the floor, "Boys, if you're going to do that, take it to your room."
In an instant, the two teenage boys were off to their room, each trying to trip or push the other off-course and, within seconds, the door slammed shut.
"Katie," Mrs. Knight turned to her daughter, "Do your homework. I don't want to have another meeting with your teacher."
"What that woman says is a bold-faced lie. I…" Katie began, only to be interrupted a look from her mother that took no excuses, "Yes, mom."
As the younger one walked away, Mrs. Knight turned to the last one at the table, her son, and finished, "Kendall, we have dishes tonight. I'll wash, you dry, okay?"
"Yes, mom," Kendall hopped up as he brought his half-full plate into the kitchen, thinking, Logan looked kind of down. I wonder what's wrong? He never showers right after dinner. Mmmmm, Logan in the shower. What I'd pay to see that!
"I swear, you and Logan," Mrs. Knight began, a fear of discovery immediately shooting through Kendall's head before she continued, "You two always eat your chicken!"
The blond sighed in relief, "Eh, just full tonight, like Logan said."
"Mmm-hmm," she responded, a moment of silence passing between them as she collected the other plates on the table, "Is everything okay between you two?"
"I… yeah," Kendall replied, moving the remnants of dinner from James and Carlos's side of the table into the garbage, "What makes you say that?"
She shrugged, "I don't know. You two just seemed kinda quiet tonight, and, Logan… well, it just seems like, since Jo left… I can say her name, right, dear?"
"Yeah, mom," Kendall laughed, "you can."
"Just checking!" Mrs. Knight answered, before continuing as she started washing the dishes, "Anyway, it just seems that since Jo left, he's been really happy. Not that he's happy she's gone or anything, but he's been just more upbeat or something. Tonight, I don't know… it seemed fine, but now it just seems like he lost his favorite toy or something."
"I don't think it's a toy, mom. He's not five," Kendall quipped, but worried inside, Something is wrong.
A small, empty smile appeared on her face as she passed the first plate to Kendall to be dried, "I know that. I just want him to be happy. I mean, I'm glad he realized that Camille is a better friend than girlfriend for someone like him."
"What do you mean?" the blond asked, quirking his head.
"You're his friend," she replied, a quizzical look on her face that turned amused, "Don't you see it?"
What is she talking about? Kendall thought as he questioned further, "What? What am I supposed to see?"
Mrs. Knight quieted her voice, "Logan likes boys. I mean, he hasn't really said much of anything out loud, but a mom always knows. Always. More power to him, though. You remember what I told you and Katie before."
"Yeah, 'It doesn't matter who you love, just that you love,'" Kendall recited, his heart jumping inside his chest, Wait, Logan likes boys? Logan likes boys!
"That's right," she said, smiling, before looking at her son, "I heard about your little blow-up today. Wanna tell me about it?"
The smile on Kendall's face from his recent discovery fell just a little bit as he explained, "Oh yeah… That. It was nothing. I saw on some stupid gossip thing on the news this morning that Jo was dating some guy in New Zealand. I just kinda got jealous."
Unsatisfied with just that answer, Mrs. Knight arched her eyebrows, handing another plate to her son, "And?"
Kendall sighed as he dried another plate, "And… I suppose I just wondered if she really cared about me at all if she could date a guy she just met on the job after we broke up."
"Doesn't sound like it bothers you much anymore," Mrs. Knight pointed out.
"It doesn't," Kendall admitted, "and I really don't know why."
His mom smirked as she explained, "You want her to be happy. She's out there, chasing her dreams, and now she has someone who can make her happy. I'm sure she wants you to do the same thing, but it looks like you're already on your way to doing it."
Kendall nodded slowly as his mother explained, but the last bit caused a puzzled look to spill over his face, "Wait, what?"
"Think about it, sweetie," she answered, that smile still in place as she reiterated, "A mom always knows. Always."
With that, she went back to washing the last of the dishes, humming a little tune to herself.
Kendall's mind found itself racing once again, Wait a minute, how can she…? She knows! And she knows that Logan likes boys! It's true, all I really wanted was for Jo to be happy, and I know she'd want the same for me. Logan makes me happy. I love him as a friend… and apparently, Logan feels something for me, too, if my mom noticed it since Jo left. He just didn't feel safe enough to make a move! Haha, then I get to make it!
"Kendall?" his mom's voice broke him from his thoughts.
He quickly responded, "Yes, mom?"
She looked at the plate in his hand, which was now bone dry, "You've been drying that plate for the last two minutes. I think it's good."
"Sorry," he apologized, his face blushing as he picked up another plate, but was stopped by his mom's gentle touch.
"Don't worry about it," she said, her eyes and voice full of understanding, "Just go, do what you gotta do."
"Thanks, mom," he thanked quickly, kissing her on the cheek quickly before heading on out of the kitchen towards his and Logan's room. He quickly turned back around, "How did you know?"
"Honey, no offense," Mrs. Knight answered, never taking her eyes off of the dishes she was now drying, "but you're an open book."
…
Logan sighed as he came out of the bathroom, a towel hanging on his waist as he rubbed at his hair with another towel. His teeth still chattered lightly from the cold of his shower, a surefire way to stop the lust that was building inside him throughout the day, but it would soon be back, and another cold shower would be in order.
I just want to get in my pajamas and lay down, he thought, his hands gripping at the handle to his and Kendall's room before twisting the knob and opening the door.
There was Kendall, sitting on the bed, with his acoustic guitar in hand. He had apparently been tuning it for some time, probably since Logan was in the shower, and it always seemed to surprise the genius just how hot it made him to see Kendall with some kind of musical instrument, from a microphone, to a guitar, to a piano, even if he couldn't play the latter well at all.
Kendall's eyes were dark as he looked up at Logan, who was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, and stuttered, "Sh…shower?"
"Y…yeah," Logan stuttered back, "Guitar?"
"I learned something," Kendall said, averting eyes as his hand absently moved along the neck of his guitar.
Logan nodded, a forlorn expression still written on his face as he remembered why he showered in the first place, "I kinda assumed when I noticed it in your hands. Your point being?"
The brunet immediately regretted his harsh wording when he watched the blond cringe before continuing, "No, I mean, I learned something about you. I know that I may not be all that smart when it comes to books and stuff, Logan, but I can put two and two together with a little help."
Oh, God, please don't say what I think you're gonna say, Logan thought to himself as he started trying to stop the rejection before it began, "Please, Kendall, let it go. It's not what you…"
"Let me finish," the blond held up a silencing hand, a smile back on his lips, "It's okay, Logie. I know that you like boys, and I know that you've had your eye on me since Jo left, and I know how hard it must have been to listen to me cry over her so much. The truth is, it hurt and, to be honest, there are times when I still feel like garbage. I know I'll be okay though, because I have James and Carlos and Katie and Mom and, best of all, you. I suppose I had you from the start, but I just never saw it, and I'm sorry if there was any time that I made you feel like trash."
"It's, uh, it's okay, Kendall," Logan replied, trying hard to keep back tears when he knew the eventual rejection would soon be coming, "BUT I'm not gay, Logan, so I'm just gonna find the next girl I see, hop on, and hope for the best…"
"No," Kendall cut in, "It's not okay. You know me, Logan. I have the tendency to run into stuff without really thinking it through. I can charm my way out of it sometimes, but I can't this time around, and it takes me completely out of my comfort zone. I feel like if I try to do what I always do this time, that I'll just make things worse. You know as well as I do that my actions come across a lot clearer."
"Kendall," Logan began, a glimmer of hope desperately trying to fight into his voice, "What do you mean?"
Kendall gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, "I was listening to my iPod while you were in the shower and I found a song that kinda made me think of this whole messed up situation I've gotten into. Y'know, thinking that me and Jo would last forever, and things not turning out the way I had planned. It sucks, and it kinda left me feeling like I'd never really feel that kind of love again. But, I realized that Jo had to be happy, and she wants me to be happy, too, by finding someone else to love."
"While I'm sure this exposition is eye-opening for you, Kendall," Logan sighed, feeling defeat crawl into his voice more and more, "if you're trying to make me feel better, you're kinda failing hard."
"Sorry," Kendall replied, his ears turning red as he hung his head sheepishly, "I'll keep it short. What I'm trying to say is… You were there for me when I just couldn't let anyone in, and I wanted to sing this for you to try and show you how I feel because… well, uh… Just sit with me, okay?"
All Logan could do was lower himself onto his bed, his other towel forgotten and his eyes still watching the blond as he uttered a quick, "O…okay."
"Here we go," Kendall sighed, clearing his throat as he began to strum his fingers in a very gentle melody, the chords moving slow and steady, as if the blond were trying to will his fingers to cooperate, before the flow of the music began to even out.
Logan sat there, watching as his best friend and crush closed his eyes, apparently beginning to lose himself to the music, I want to think that this is going to end well for me. I really want to, but I can't. It's too good to be true. It's probably just some song about being best friends or something. It's the best that I can probably hope for… because Kendall doesn't like me like that.
The first words of the song snapped Logan from his spiraling thoughts as Kendall began, "When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind."
Logan's heart gave an inward leap as he recognized the words in the first verse of Paramore's "The Only Exception," and leaned in closer to listen as Kendall's dulcet tones started painting a picture.
"He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it," the blond continued, and Logan knew from the gentle lilt in his voice that Kendall's dad immediately came to mind.
I remember, Logan thought to himself as started to nibble on his lower lip in quiet uneasiness, I remember when Kendall told me his dad left. Apparently, things hadn't been happy for his parents in a while, but when he left, everything fell apart for his dad to the point where he finally just stopped living. Was really kind of sad, even if he was being a huge jerk.
"And my mama swore that she would never let herself forget," Kendall continued, his tone changing as if he could hear the inner commentary in the brunet's head, "And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist."
It doesn't exist for us, Logan mused grimly as he tried, in vain, to stop a tear from rolling down his cheek, his shoulders slumping as he listened to Kendall's melodic voice, Why keep torturing me?
Then, the blond opened his green eyes and looked right into the brunet's brown ones, "But, darlin', you are the only exception."
What? Logan thought to himself as a paralyzing shock hit his system.
"You are the only exception," Kendall continued, the corner of his lips upturned in a shy grin, "You are the only exception."
Logan could practically feel himself melt as a blush rolled across his face, This is too good to be true. It has to be.
The blond gave a little wink as he finished the chorus, "You are the only exception."
…
Wow, Kendall thought to himself as he kept strumming along his guitar, trying to stop the inward squeal of delight from surfacing as he watched the stunned look on Logan's face change to a red hue that would give a tomato a run for its money, God… he's beautiful.
The blond couldn't help the pang of memory he felt as he started the next verse, "Now, maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts."
I guess, the young leader thought to himself, the vision of Jo and her new beau causing him to feel some semblance of jealousy, but it was more for the fact that his ex-girlfriend was able to move on and, since she left to chase her dream, Kendall felt too depressed to chase his own, Like Logan.
"And we've got to find other ways to make it alone," Kendall continued, trying as hard as he could to continue the song and not stop to dry the steady tears that began to roll down the brunet's cheek, "or keep a straight face."
Please, Logan, Kendall inwardly begged, feeling a grip around his heart, Please don't cry. I hate making you cry.
"And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance," the blond leaned forward, trying to relay some comfort in his continuing tune, I've kept you at arm's length for way too long, Logan, and you shouldn't forgive me for it. I don't like hurting anyone, but I really hate doing it to you.
"And up until now, I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness," Kendall kept singing solemnly, before rocking out a bit more while looking right into Logan's eyes, "because none of it was ever worth the risk. Well, you are the only exception."
"You are the only exception," the blond thrill-seeker continued, trying as best as he could to put a smile on Logan's face with this musical confession, "You are the only exception.
"You are the only exception," Kendall tried to pour all his thoughts and feelings into the lyrics, You really are, Logan, and I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize it. Me and Jo, the comfort was nothing like this. You're my best friend, my brother… but there's always been something more. You're the smart one. You got it before I did.
"I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's in front of me here," Kendall kept singing even louder as he slowly started to slip into his inner rock star, his heart giving a leap as he watched Logan's tearstained face light up in a soft laugh, "I know you're leavin' in the mornin' when you wake up.
"Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream," the blond continued as he began to slow down once again, the look on the brunet's face becoming more subdued, but the crooked smile was still there, "Oh… You are the only exception.
"You are the only exception," Kendall repeated, I really like you, Logan. Maybe it can become love?
"You are the only exception," Kendall repeated, I want you, Logan. Maybe you can give this moron a shot?
"You are the only exception," Kendall repeated, It took me this long to figure out, but… better late than never right?
Watching as Logan's eyes softened a bit more, the blush still making his face a deep scarlet, the blond started the slow close to the song, "And I'm on my way to believin'."
For you, my Logie, Kendall smiled as the last chords of the song strummed from his guitar and the last words left his lips, "Oh, and I'm on my way to believin'."
As the last chord of the song played through to silence, the two sat there, unable to take their eyes off of each other. Sharp green gazed into chocolate brown, but both were smiling like idiots.
Logan finally broke the silence, "That was beautiful, Kendall."
Now or never, Kendall thought as he took his fingers off the strings and rested his chin on the wooden frame of the instrument, "I like you, Logan. I know that I've already broken your heart so many times without meaning to, and this is all kinda new to me, but I'm crazy about you."
The blond wasn't sure if the smile on the brunet's face could get any bigger as he responded, "You have no idea just how long I've been dying to hear you say that. I never thought it would happen."
Kendall moved the guitar to his side, and took Logan's hand within his own, planting a kiss on the top of it, like the gesture they normally saw in those cheesy romance movies Kendall's mom always loved to watch. A shy blush spread across Logan's face again as he watched the blond's lips touch his skin.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, Logie," the blond said simply, flashing another charming smile.
Another moment passed before Logan grabbed Kendall by the collar, yanking him up, "Come here, you!"
A second later, Logan's lips mashed against Kendall's, and, for once, the blond's mind was blissfully blank.
Kissing Logan was an incredible sensory overload. It was as if fireworks were going off under Kendall's eyelids. He could feel the brunet's lips moving against his own, connecting like puzzle pieces that had finally found their match. His hand moved up Logan's bare torso; from his lean stomach, up over his toned chest, running over the contours of his collarbone, up his neck, and running his fingernails over the nape of his neck, pulling the brunet closer. Kendall ran his tongue along Logan's bottom lip, loving the salty tang and the sudden thrill as Logan obliged, opening his mouth and deepening the kiss. Kendall could taste mint and something that was uniquely Logan.
Finally, as the two separated, each breathing heavy, Kendall could only say smugly, "So, that's what kissing you is like."
The only response was a well-timed slap to his head.
"Ow!" the blond exclaimed, "What's the abuse for?"
"'So, that's what kissing you is like'?" Logan mocked, a huge smile on his face, "Do you have any idea how many times I've thought about this? How many times I fantasized? You kiss me and then you say something sweet and romantic, not something like, 'oh, that's nice!' You're a real piece of work, Kendall Knight, a real piece of…"
Kendall silenced Logan with his lips once again. A strong, forceful kiss to let the young genius know that he was Kendall's, and Kendall was his.
The blond moved back, amused at the speechless look on the brunet's face, "What was that, Logan?"
"You're an idiot," Logan responded, "You're hot and awesome, but you're an idiot."
"Yeah," Kendall muttered as he pressed their foreheads together gently, thinking of how many more nights they'd get to spend like this, holding each other, kissing each other, loving each other, and just how thankful he was that he was able to see what was going on in his heart before it was too late.
He added sweetly, "But I'm your idiot."