Magazine Caper
It was a nice day in O-Town. Rocko was reading his newspaper. He heard a knock at the door so he stopped reading, went over to it and opened it to see Heffer and Filburt.
"Hello, Rocko," greeted Heffer and Filburt at the same time.
"Hey, guys," Rocko greeted back, letting Heffer and Filburt in. "How's everything going?"
"We're good," replied Heffer. "I can't wait for the next issue of O-Town Lifestyle Monthly next week!"
"Me neither!" Filburt grinned.
"Would you like the TV on?" asked Rocko.
"Sure, Rock!" said Heffer.
Rocko turned the TV on. That's when a commercial came on.
"Hey, you!" the man on the TV called. "Are you waiting for the next issue of O-Town Lifestyle Monthly? Well, if you want to become a worker of the magazine, just use a letter to answer this question: 'When was the Nile leaf extinct?' You'd better do it now because there's only two places left!"
The commercial ended and Heffer and Filburt were wide-mouthed with amazement.
"A contest to become a magazine worker," said Rocko. "How interesting."
"Rocko…we want to tell you something," said a monotone Heffer.
"What is it?" wondered Rocko.
"WE WANT TO BECOME WORKERS OF THE MAGAZINE!!" Heffer and Filburt shouted frantically and discordantly. "WE KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION!!!! THERE'S ONLY TWO PLACES LEFT SO WE WANT TO SEND OUR LETTERS NOW!!!!!"
"Alright, alright!" Rocko reminded. "Calm down, you two! Here are some pieces of paper."
Rocko held out pieces of paper from out of nowhere. Heffer and Filburt then proceeded to get one piece each, get out their pencils and start writing frantically.
"Gotta be quick! Gotta be quick!" Heffer and Filburt said quickly.
"Guys, there's no rush," explained Rocko.
Once they finished their letters, Heffer and Filburt put their letters in their envelopes, sealed them shut and ran out the front door.
"Guys, wait up!" called Rocko, running after Heffer and Filburt.
--
Later, Heffer and Filburt arrived at the post-box. They wanted to put their letters in first.
"I wanna put it in first!" called Heffer.
"No, I wanna put it in first!" Filburt shouted.
"No, I do!"
"Well, I do, too!"
"You put in a letter first last time!"
"So?"
"So it's my turn to put a letter in first!"
"But that's not fair!"
"THAT'S ENOUGH, YOU TWO!!!" screamed Rocko. "I'll decide who gets to go first but there'll be no arguing, got it?"
Heffer and Filburt nod.
"Okay," said Rocko. "Heffer, since Filburt put in a letter first last time, you get to put the letter in first."
"All right!" cheered Heffer. "Too bad, Filburt!"
Filburt just folded his arms and made an angry face while Heffer put his letter in the post-box.
"Okay, it's your turn now, Filburt," reminded Rocko.
Filburt put his letter in the post-box.
--
The next day, Rocko was reading his newspaper when Heffer and Filburt suddenly burst through the front door, making him jump.
"Rocko!! We got letters from the O-Town Lifestyle Monthly Centre!!" hollered Heffer.
"What does it say?" wondered Rocko.
Heffer and Filburt opened their letters.
"I'll read it first," said Heffer. "It says 'Dear Heffer, congratulations! You have been offered a place as a worker of O-Town Lifestyle Monthly! The answer is indeed the 1920s! Please arrive at O-Town Lifestyle Monthly Centre at 12:00 pm today to start your first day of work. Yours sincerely, Mr. Alec Spitzheimer.'"
That's when Heffer started to have an excitement attack.
"WOOOOOHOOOHOOOHIEEE!!!!!!!!" Heffer screamed with happiness, running around like crazy. "I'VE WON THE CONTEST!!!! I'VE WON THE CONTEST!!!!!"
"Alright Heffer, calm down," said Rocko. "Filburt, what does yours say?"
Filburt read his letter and got excited as well.
"My letter says the exact same thing!" Filburt cheered. "I've won the contest too!"
"That's great, guys!" smiled Rocko. "I'm glad you won the contest."
"What time is it? We need to get to work by 12:00 pm," Heffer told.
"It's just gone ten to twelve," replied Rocko.
"Oh, I see," said Heffer.
It's then they realise that Heffer and Filburt need to get to work in ten minutes! Shock Horror music (the dun, dun, dun music) plays.
"TEN TO TWELVE?!?!?!?" Heffer and Filburt screeched.
"We're gonna be late! We're gonna be late!" yelled Heffer.
"Sorry Rocko but we've gotta go now! Bye!" Filburt shouted at the same time as Heffer.
Heffer and Filburt ran out the door.
--
Later, they arrived at the O-Town Lifestyle Monthly Centre. They rushed inside up to a man who is assumed to be Mr. Spitzheimer.
"Are we late?" panted Heffer.
"No, you two are just in time," replied Mr. Spitzheimer.
Heffer and Filburt sigh with relief.
"My name is Mr. Spitzheimer," Mr. Spitzheimer introduced. "I assume you two must be Heffer Wolfe and Filburt Shellbach?"
Heffer and Filburt nod at the same time.
"Welcome to your first day of work," said Mr. Spitzheimer. "Follow me into my office so we can begin."
Heffer and Filburt followed Mr. Spitzheimer.
--
In the office, it's a few minutes into Heffer and Filburt's conversation.
"Heffer, what's your favourite article of the magazine?" asked Mr. Spitzheimer.
"I think the 'The Most Silliest Things Ever' article because it shows funny pictures and quotes!" replied Heffer.
"What about you, Filburt?" wondered Mr. Spitzheimer.
"I agree with Heffer," said Filburt.
"I see," said Mr. Spitzheimer. "Well, I think you two are going to be thrilled when I tell you this. You are given the job as the workers of the 'The Most Silliest Things Ever' article on the third floor."
"All right!" Heffer and Filburt cheered as they gave each other a high-five.
"I thought you two were going to be happy," said Mr. Spitzheimer. "Now, when you go home today, you need to find some funny pictures and quotes."
"Okay," agreed Heffer and Filburt.
"Right then, you can start your first day of work," said Mr. Spitzheimer.
"Okay, Mr. Hitzspeimer," said Heffer.
"It's Spitzheimer," Mr. Spitzheimer corrected.
"Right, sorry," Heffer apologized.
Heffer and Filburt walked out of the office and went into the elevator. Filburt pushed the third floor button.
"So, where are we going to find funny pictures and quotes?" questioned Heffer.
Heffer and Filburt suddenly get an idea and made their anime sneaky expressions.
"Rocko," Heffer and Filburt said at the same time.
--
Later, at the end of work, Heffer and Filburt walk out of the elevator into the reception room.
"That was the best first day of work ever!" hollered Heffer.
"I can't wait to find some funny pictures and quotes!" grinned Filburt.
Suddenly, Heffer and Filburt bump into a giant person. They look up to see…the hippo lady!
"Uh-oh," said Heffer and Filburt.
The hippo lady turned around and angrily glared down at Heffer and Filburt, who are both sweat-dropping at the same time.
"Uh…good day?" Heffer chuckled nervously and embarrassingly.
The hippo lady lifts Heffer and Filburt into the air. The two guys are now scared.
"HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!" the hippo lady screamed in Heffer and Filburt's faces.
The hippo lady then proceeds to throw Heffer and Filburt out of the building through a window, breaking it. Heffer and Filburt scream at the top of their voices as they fly through the sky like rockets. They finally land in a bush, slicing the pole of a stop sign doing so, making it fall over. A car is heard screeching and then crashing into another vehicle. Heffer and Filburt emerge from the bush, bruised and their clothes in tatters.
"Well, at least we're still alive," said Heffer.
--
Later, Heffer and Filburt arrived at Rocko's house. Heffer knocked on the door. Rocko opened it.
"Hi, Rocko!" greeted Heffer and Filburt.
"Hey, guys," Rocko greeted back. "How was your first day of work?"
"It was awesome!" replied Heffer.
"We get to be workers of the 'The Most Silliest Things Ever' article!' cheered Filburt.
"I hope you do pictures and quotes that are appropriate," said Rocko.
"We will," said Heffer and Filburt.
"I'm just gonna take a shower," reminded Rocko. "Remain on your best behaviour, okay?"
Heffer and Filburt nodded as Rocko went upstairs. Filburt then made his anime sneaky expression.
"Heffer, now's our chance," said Filburt. "We're going to do funny pictures of and funny quotes from Rocko!"
But Heffer didn't respond.
"Heffer, are you listening to me?" questioned Filburt.
Filburt gasps when he realises that he's listening to "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson on his MP3 player using earphones! He gets angry and turns his MP3 player off.
"Hey! I was listening to that!" Heffer whined.
"Didn't you hear what I said?" said Filburt. "We're going to do funny pictures of and funny quotes from Rocko."
"Oh yeah," Heffer said.
"Let's go upstairs and take a picture of Rocko showering," snickered Filburt.
Heffer and Filburt went upstairs bringing out a camera and notepad. They heard singing coming from the bathroom.
"If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss," Rocko sang.
"He's singing Betty Everett's 'It's In His Kiss'," Heffer snickered. "I'll put that down on the notepad, you take a picture of him showering."
"Okay," said Filburt.
As Heffer wrote on the notepad, Filburt sneaked quietly into the bathroom. He saw Rocko washing his head. The shower curtain is around him so nobody can see him watching.
"Or is it in his face?" Rocko continued. "Oh no, it's just his charm. In his warm embrace? Oh no, that's just his arm. If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss."
Filburt aimed his camera at Rocko through the shower curtain and took a picture. Rocko's nudity is censored by the shower steam. He then ran out quietly so he doesn't get caught.
"Can I see the picture?" asked Heffer.
Filburt got the picture out of the camera and showed it to Heffer. They both started giggling. Just then, they heard the shower turning off.
"Rocko's finished in the shower," reminded Heffer. "We better hide."
Heffer and Filburt sneaked down the stairs quickly. Rocko comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around himself and goes into his bedroom.
"Now let's go and take another picture," Filburt grinned.
Heffer and Filburt sneak upstairs.
--
In the bedroom, Rocko is putting a pair of underwear on. While he isn't looking, Filburt creaks the door open a bit, takes a picture of Rocko just after putting his underwear on and goes back outside. He stops when he hears the camera's click.
"What was that?" wondered Rocko. "Is somebody there?"
Rocko turns around to see no-one so he just shrugs.
"Oh well, probably just my imagination," he said.
--
Outside the bedroom, Heffer and Filburt are giggling quietly at the picture that was just taken.
"That is a hoot," giggled Heffer.
--
Back in the bedroom, Rocko has just put his shirt and shoes on.
"I feel refreshed like a spring breeze," said Rocko.
Suddenly, Rocko felt a sensation in his lower abdomen.
"Uh-oh, gotta go use the bathroom," Rocko realised, rubbing the bottom of his stomach.
--
Back outside, Heffer and Filburt have heard what Rocko said.
"We better hide and fast!" whispered Filburt. "I think there's another picture we're going to take!"
Heffer and Filburt sneaked downstairs quickly and went out the front door. They get out a ladder and put it near the bathroom window. Filburt climbed up first then Heffer did. Heffer looked through the window.
"He's coming," reminded Heffer, moving away from the window.
Heffer got out a glass beaker, put it to his ear and moved it slowly towards the window.
"I'll tell you when to take the picture," Heffer told Filburt.
--
Meanwhile in the bathroom, Rocko pulled his underwear down to his ankles, sat down on the toilet and waited patiently while he…well, went. After nearly a minute, he sighed with relief.
--
Outside, Heffer has heard Rocko sigh.
"Now," said Heffer.
Filburt took the picture.
"Now all I have to do is listen for a quote," Heffer said.
--
"All done," sighed Rocko. "I feel relieved."
Rocko suddenly sniffed a bad smell and put his hand over his nose.
"Oh crikey!" Rocko exclaimed. "What have I been eating? Must have been the chilli pizza I had last night."
--
"Rocko stunk up his bathroom," giggled Heffer. "I better put his quote down."
Heffer wrote on the notepad while he and Filburt giggled.
--
Holding his nose, Rocko got a bottle of air freshener and sprayed it. After that, he put the bottle down, sniffed the air and sighed with happiness.
"That's better," said Rocko. "Now all I have to do is wipe my bum."
Rocko got a piece of toilet paper and folded it.
--
"Now for the ultimate trick!" Filburt snickered.
"I'll throw the glass down when he flushes the toilet," said Heffer.
Heffer and Filburt heard the toilet flush. So Heffer threw the glass down to the ground.
--
Rocko was washing his hands when he heard glass breaking from outside.
"What on earth was that noise?" wondered Rocko.
--
Heffer and Filburt climbed down the ladder, put it away and ran inside. Rocko opened his bathroom window, looked outside and saw the broken glass.
"Well, I never!" gasped Rocko. "Some stupid person has decided to throw glass near my door! I better go sweep the mess up."
Rocko closed the bathroom window.
--
Meanwhile, Heffer and Filburt were in the kitchen. Heffer was getting out a knife.
"This knife will really rip Rocko's shirt!" Heffer giggled.
Heffer put the knife on the kitchen table and put sellotape on it to make it stay still. Then, he and Filburt heard footsteps on the stairs.
"He's coming!" whispered Filburt.
Heffer and Filburt sneak into the back garden. Rocko came into the kitchen when suddenly, his shirt got caught on the knife.
"What in the blazes?" Rocko exclaimed, trying to free himself from the knife's grasp.
Suddenly, without warning, the sellotape rips off the table and the knife frees itself and falls off the table, ripping off the bottom of Rocko's shirt in the process, revealing his underwear! Filburt, having heard the rip, peeked through the window, took a picture and ducked back down. Rocko lets out a high-pitched shriek of terror as his brain springs out of his head like a jack-in-the-box!
"My shirt!" Rocko gasped, his brain going back inside his head. "How'd that happen?!"
Rocko looked onto the floor and saw the knife which had a piece of material from his shirt.
"Now how did that knife get there?" wondered Rocko. "So it's ripped my shirt, hasn't it? That can go in the sink, but I better take that piece of material off first."
Rocko got the material and put the knife in the sink.
"Now I'll go get changed and maybe today, I'll sew my ripped shirt back up if I find all the material," Rocko said to himself.
Rocko walked out of the kitchen.
--
Outside, Heffer and Filburt were giggling like maniacs.
"Rocko's reaction was so funny!" snickered Heffer.
"I know!" Filburt agreed. "I can't wait to show the pictures and quotes to Mr. Spitzheimer."
--
The next day at work, Mr. Spitzheimer was looking through the pictures.
"My, those pictures are impressive!" smiled Mr. Spitzheimer. "Even those quotes count! These will definitely go in 'The Most Silliest Things Ever' article!"
"Thank you, Mr. Spitzheimer," said Heffer and Filburt at the same time.
--
The day of the release of the next issue of O-Town Lifestyle Monthly has arrived. Rocko came out of his house and got the magazine's next issue out of his mailbox. He saw Ai, Zukin and Hiroshi walking once he closed the mailbox.
"Hello there, you three," greeted Rocko.
"Konnichiwa, Rocko-chan," Ai greeted back. "How's your day?"
"Very fine," replied Rocko. "Do you three want to come inside my house?"
"Sure," said Hiroshi.
--
Later, Rocko, Ai, Zukin and Hiroshi were reading the magazine together. They were looking at the index.
"Before we look at this week's schedules for the shows, let's look at 'The Most Silliest Things Ever' article," said Rocko.
"Oh yeah, I love that article!" cheered Zukin.
Rocko turned the magazine to 'The Most Silliest Things Ever'. He is shocked to see pictures of and quotes from himself on the page!
"Rocko-chan, that's you!" exclaimed Zukin.
"How did you get on here?" wondered Ai.
"It says the pictures and quotes are taken by Heffer and Filburt!" said Hiroshi.
Rocko's pupils shrunk. He felt like he wanted to scream with anger but he can't with Ai, Zukin and Hiroshi in the room because they're only young and it might scare them so he knew what to do.
"Kids, do you mind if you leave the room for a moment please?" Rocko said in a monotone voice.
Ai, Zukin and Hiroshi left the room. Rocko got so enraged, put the magazine down, got up from the couch and took a deep breath…
--
A church organ is heard playing a chord all over O-Town. Birds flew away from many trees and neighbours looked at Rocko's house in shock.
"My heavens, that's the loudest profanity I've ever heard," said Mrs. Bighead. (Tee hee, Simpsons reference!)
--
The next day, Rocko came out of his house. Immediately, every adult appeared and started laughing and pointing at him! Rocko was not in the mood for this so he just got into the car and drove off. However, the laughter continued when he's driving to work, when he's working at Kind of a Lot O' Comics, when he's eating at Chewy Chicken and even when he's shopping at the mall! Later, Rocko arrived back home with the people still laughing. Finally, he's had enough of the laughter. He has an anime vein near his head.
"ALL RIGHT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH LAUGHTER FOR ONE DAY!!!!!!" screeched Rocko.
Immediately, everyone stopped laughing and disappeared. Rocko went inside and sat on his couch, stressed out. Suddenly, Heffer and Filburt burst through the front door.
"Hey, Rocko!" hollered Heffer.
Rocko turned around to Heffer and Filburt, fuming.
"Rocko, why are you angry?" questioned Filburt.
Rocko got up from the couch panting angrily.
"Okay, now you're scaring us," quivered Heffer, as he and Filburt got scared. "What's wrong with you?"
"HEFFER!!!! FILBURT!!!!" Rocko exploded loudly. "Why on earth did you take pictures of and quotes from me?! Come on, spill it out!!"
"We just thought how everyone in O-Town would react if they saw you on the magazine," explained Heffer.
"We did the pranks so we could distract you," Filburt explained also.
"You what?!?" Rocko bellowed. "You rotters!! Thanks to your perverse ideas, I've been humiliated in front of a million people!!! None of this would've happened if you two hadn't have signed up for that contest!!!"
Rocko noticed that Heffer and Filburt were about to cry.
"Cry all you want," grumbled Rocko, crossing his arms. "I don't care."
"We're sorry, Rocko!" Heffer and Filburt burst out, getting on their knees.
"We promise we won't do it again!" wailed Heffer. "We've acted like a couple of fools!!"
"Please forgive us, Rocko!!" howled Filburt, over Heffer's lines. "We'll be more responsible next time!!"
Heffer and Filburt both started crying. Rocko has heard what the mischievous duo have said. He didn't what to see them suffer.
"Alright!" Rocko said, which made Heffer and Filburt stop crying. "Just stop acting like a couple of big babies. Promise you two won't do it again?"
Heffer and Filburt both nod and stood up.
"From now on, we won't take pictures of, record and use quotes from you," said Heffer. "Especially after the time we recorded you drinking milk naked at night without you knowing and sent it to a film festival in Australia, your original home place."
"Don't mention that, Heffer," said Rocko.
"Sorry," Heffer apologized.
"When we go to work tomorrow, we'll tell Mr. Spitzheimer we want to quit our job," explained Filburt.
"Okay, you two can go ahead with that idea," smiled Rocko.
There was a knock at the door.
"I'll get that," reminded Rocko.
Rocko went over to the front door and opened it. It was Ai, Zukin and Hiroshi.
"Konnichiwa, Rocko-chan," greeted Ai.
"Hello, you three," Rocko greeted back.
"How's everything going?" asked Ai, as she, Zukin and Hiroshi came inside.
"Well, it's been stressful," replied Rocko. "Just after I got out the house, everyone started laughing at me and it continued everywhere I went. I finally managed to make them go away when I got home."
"Oh dear," said Ai. "Are you feeling okay now?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," answered Rocko.
"Heffer-chan, Filburt-chan, have you two been crying?" wondered Zukin, noticing the remaining tears in Heffer and Filburt's eyes.
"I guess we were," chuckled Heffer, as he and Filburt sweat-dropped.
"Here, use these tissues," Zukin said, taking out tissues from the pocket of her pinafore and giving them to Heffer and Filburt. "Why were you two crying?"
"We got a scolding from Rocko after what we did," replied Heffer, as he and Filburt dried their eyes with the tissues.
"You two also have to remember if you want to take a picture, think of the appropriate time when you want do it," explained Ai.
"We're taking your advice, Ai," said Heffer. "Tomorrow, we are going to work to quit our jobs."
"Are you sure?" wondered Hiroshi. "Don't you two want to still work there?"
"Well, we realised how much we ticked Rocko off," Filburt told. "So we're going to quit our jobs tomorrow."
--
The next day, Rocko has come back from work. When he gets out of the car, Heffer and Filburt suddenly appeared without warning.
"Hi, Rocko!!!" Heffer and Filburt cheered.
"Hey, guys," said Rocko. "How was your last day of work?"
"It was good but also sad," replied Heffer.
"At least we're still friends after what we did," said Filburt.
"You've got it right, mate," smiled Rocko.
Just then, a teenage trio walked past.
"Hey, you're that guy on this month's O-Town Lifestyle Monthly magazine!" exclaimed a teenager.
The trio walked off, laughing, leaving Rocko annoyed and Heffer and Filburt shocked.
"Oh, the nerves of those people," sighed Rocko.
THE END