You know there's something wrong with you, when your own family wants nothing to do with you..but what if one person, just one, wanted you to themselves and they didn't want anyone else around you.
That's the story of my life believe it or not.
Hello, my name is Takara Sohma. Supposedly my name means "treasure." I really am treasured, well, to Akito I am. I'm not a member of the Zodiac, but I do know everything about it. I do have a power though, even though Hatori is the doctor, the dragon, and the one who erases memories. I am the healer. When Akito is feeling his worst, I am always there to pick him up off his feet. Although when I take away Akito's pain….I store it inside of me, without hurting myself of course…I can unleash that pain upon who ever I choose.
I used to have the biggest crush on Hatori…but…he fell in love with Kana, whom is also a Sohma, like me. She also isn't part of the Zodiac…just like me. Though where she knows nothing about it, I know everything about it. Takara=1, Kana=0. I had to sit by and watch as they fell into a deeper love with one another, I had to sit by and watch. Seeing as how I couldn't have Hatori, I focused all my time on Akito, every second of every day it seemed like. There was nothing else for me to do, but wallow in self pity and sustain the life of my master.
I remember like it was yesterday….
"Oh…hello Takara…what are you doing here?" Hatori asked when he stepped out of his office door. I lowered the hand I was about to knock with.
"…Why?...Why Hatori?" I asked him, my head lowered, my hair shadowing my eyes.
"I'm..not sure I understand…" he said looking confused. Well….he sounded confused, I could only assume.
"Why do you love Kana?" I asked him after a moment of silence.
"So, that's what this is about." He said solemnly.
"ANSWER ME!" I screamed looking up at him.
"Because…I choose to." He said like it was the simplest thing in the world.
"…I see." I said taking a step back. "I guess I should tell you…even if it won't do any good." I said pulling my kimono closed with my left hand, it liked to slide down my shoulder every now and again.
"I love you…I've watched you…become happy without me, I always told myself, I would make you smile..because it looks more than great on you. Oh, how I've longed to hold you…even though I know I cannot. I see now that, the only thing I can heal…is a dying man. Sometimes…sometimes I wish that I knew nothing of the Zodiac..sometimes I wish I didn't have this power…sometimes I wish..that…you would just erase my memories, so I wouldn't have to feel pain every time I look at your face!...I wish you all the happiness in the world…you truly deserve it, unlike I….I don't deserve it..I don't deserve it…" I finished my outburst in a whisper while walking away swiftly.
Hatori didn't say or do anything to stop me, though if I would have turned around, I would have seen his shocked expression and his raised hand, reaching for something that now…wasn't reaching for him.
Now all Hatori does is take care of Akito, just as I do. I'm wasting my life away, taking care of my older sibling who should be the one taking care of me. When I found out he had to erase Kana's memory I was a little sad for him…but tears of joy flowed from my eyes on that day. I know it seems like I'm selfish...But that's just cause I am. I had to watch Hatori from a far; watch him love another. Now it was Hatori's turn to watch his love, love another. There's been many times when I thought about healing Hatori's eye…but every time I think about it, I think about how he was too blind to see my love for him. It serves him right to be half-blind in that eye.
"Takara? Why are you here? I'm feeling quite well today." Akito said as I walked into his room, stopping beside his sitting form. I joined him in looking out to the gardens, there were a couple birds chasing each other in the sky, one was currently on Akito's index finger.
"Where else would I go? I'm here, every hour, of every day, of every month of every year…there's other place I'd rather be." I said to him as the bird from his finger flew unto mine when I held it out.
"Just because I cannot go out..does not mean you can't." he said looking up at me.
"Where do you suppose I go?" I asked, tilting my head slightly to get a better look at the white bird. I gave a short burst of pain through my finger which cause the bird to flap it's wings quickly while screeching and trying to get away, but I quickly secured it's feet onto my finger with my thumb.
"Go see Shigure or something, just get out of here." He said waving his hand dismissively.
"It's your lucky day bird…but who's to say you will be just as lucky tomorrow?" I asked it as I let it go. It quickly flew off while chirping loudly, determined to get away.
"I won't be gone for long, Akito." I said as I walked out of his room, I got no reply.
And as I walked out of the estate, towards Shigure's home.
I passed Hatori Sohma.
As our arms brushed against each other…
..I felt nothing.
For on this day, I was not bothered.
Who's to say that I will feel the same way tomorrow?