Looking back now, it all started with Spock's first Pon Farr. It isn't that Jim and Spock didn't have a thing for each other before that, but it was that whole… mess that convinced Jim he had to do something. And even then, Jim didn't have the guts to act on it right away. If things really were to go all to hell then where could he run, trapped on a starship, where could he escape? No it had to wait, didn't it? But that's not the story I'm here to tell.
It started out as most plans do. Best intentions and all that. I was feelin' pretty high and mighty in sickbay after getting back to the ship. I was a little impatient, I'll admit, so I gave Jim a mild stimulant almost as soon as I walked in the door. After that the only thing we could do was wait. I remember we talked about something… though it seems inconsequential in the face of the realization that Spock meant something to Jim. Something he didn't even quite realize himself. I knew all about the mate-or-die scenario by then and I had seen Jim's face on the Bridge when Spock declared that T'Pring was his wife. Such unbridled jealousy… and still ignorant of its own existence, it just about blew me outta the water. Well, anyway, we waited and talked. And waited. And when it became pretty clear to us that Spock wasn't coming to Sickbay anytime soon we had the computer do a scan for his vitals, which were in his quarters. Not thinking much of it, guess I figured he was meditating or something, I recommended that Jim get some rest. He slouched off to his quarters, looking like a puppy that'd been kicked and not much later I decided I would turn in as well.
With the thought of Jim and his… Spock thing on my mind I did one more scan, just to check up on the both of them. The first thing I noticed was that Jim wasn't sleeping, despite the fact that he had clearly been exhausted and under a lot of stress. I had half a mind to go to his quarters and tranquilize him. It was then that I noticed Spock's life signs were way off. By way off I don't mean he-was-back-in-that-pon-farr-fever way off. I mean he- dammit, he was practically dead. Grabbed my med-pack and I was off like a shot. Then it all gets kinda hazy... but I remember shouting, 'Spock, open up!' Something like that anyway. The Captain came running out of course and- and when I told him about Spock's vitals... my god his face was...
I didn't and still don't know how to describe it, but at the time I remember thinking 'If I ever see this look on his face again, it'll just kill me dead.' And that's the closest I can come to it 'cause it got me right in the heart. Didn't know, back then, that it wasn't the last time I'd see it, but then if I had known… I might have just given up. I mean what's the use? The only way you can keep your best friend out of harm's way is to tie 'em up in a controlled environment and filter everything they might encounter. It's the worst kind of feeling, knowing you can't protect them… that you're just about as useful sometimes as a block of ice on the surface of Rura Penthe.
But that was almost five years ago and so much has changed since then. Everything but the one thing that will never, ever change. I, Leonard H. McCoy, am James T. Kirk's best friend.
Forever.
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