Black Books

By The Alternative Source

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or Black Books. I wish I did though.

Author's Note: I actually met Dylan Moran when I went to London. Made a total tit out of myself but I was glad that I met him. This was an idea that me and my sis came up with after I finished "I Promise." Enjoy!!!!

'Shabby black hair. Dark trousers, jumper, and coat. Frown marring his face. A glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Same old Bernard Black.'

He'd planned on visiting sooner. Decades sooner but their always seemed to be something in the way. And the whole situation with the Master, the Time Lords, and his Rose returning had thrown his life for an even bigger loop. And he had currently been spending all his time discovering how they had fallen in love all over again. So on a rather sunny and off beat day in London he had told her that he wanted her to meet an old friend of his. He had been ecstatic at first to involve Rose in something from his past but now he wasn't so sure if he wanted her to meet the self described 'Irish Bastard.'

Bernard was sitting at his desk on the other side of the messy book shop. He was sitting perfectly still with his head bowed down. At first he thought he was staring at his desk until he noticed the folded newspaper an inch from his face. Looking back at Rose he saw that she was looking at Bernard in confusion. But when she turned to him he could see the laughter all over her face, "You always did have the strangest friends."

"My friends are not strange...they're just...different," he said quickly as he pushed some hair behind her ear and ran them down the side of her neck. A small laugh escaped Rose's lips as she pulled away a little to get away from his nimble fingers. Something seemed to catch her eye and she quickly looked down at the messy table in the middle of the room. He couldn't see the book that had caught her eye but she gave a little sound of surprise as she picked it up and began flipping through it.

He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face as he watched her quickly become engrossed in the book, 'I don't think I've ever loved her more.'

He was brought out of his thoughts as Bernard coughed loudly while mumbling incoherently. He managed to catch Bernard's eyes as he looked away from the newspaper. His glazed eyes immediately narrowed before growling out, "Arrrgghh you're still alive!"

The Doctor smiled and stuck his hands in his pockets. Walking towards the frowning man he watched as Bernard poured himself another glass of wine. It took him longer than expected to reach him because the floor was rather sticky. And for every step that he took he would have to struggle more and more to not lose his shoes.

"Still trying to keep the children from running around Bernard?" he said as he sat down in front of Bernard and watched as his frown deepened. He gave a little grunt of acknowledgement and kept his eyes narrowed as he knocked back the glass of wine, "You've never been one for smiles."

"Now it isn't that I don't enjoy visits from people that knew me in the home country but...well I don't...but why are you here?"

"You know why I'm here. There's a girl."

Bernard leaned back in his chair and observed the Doctor before speaking, "Sickening. Who is she?"

"Her name's Rose."

"Rose? Oh I see," he said in a mocking tone while lighting up another cigarette, "Roseeeee. Knowing you, you'd only bring someone if it was serious. So, before you go off to raise your spiky haired freak circus, what's she like?"

"She's nice, kind, the most beautiful mind imaginable," the Doctor said as his mind tried to collect the perfect words to describe her.

Bernard sneered, "She's nice? Don't make me sick into my own scorn. I'm trying to picture this girl who likes you and all I can see is you in a dress. What are her prospects? Does she play the viola? Does she embroider? Is she kind to the servants?"

Before he could answer Rose's voice rang out behind him, "I can't embroider and I think having servants is necessary. But if you want to know my prospects then I'd say I'm a twenty something year old girl that loves this man in front of you, hopes to go on plenty of adventures with him for the rest of our lives, and can make a mean shepherd's pie."

Bernard seemed to come out of his temper tantrum as his eyes focused on Rose. The Doctor held out the chair for Rose and urged her forward. She looked down at her seat for a second and picked something up. "Jam on toast?" she said in surprise.

Bernard snatched the piece of toast from her fingers and tossed it into the bin. His frowning mouth twitched and an odd smile took its place. Quickly he fumbled with a pair of shades before slipping them on. Threading his fingers through his hair he pulled his messy locks to the side.

"I'm sorry that you found that there. Ummm…take my chair," he rambled on shyly. Rose gave a laugh and beckoned him to sit down. He gave a shrill kind of laugh when he sat again. He laced his fingers together and began to fiddle with his wine glass. He looked up with a slightly shocked expression, "Would you like some tea? I didn't offer you any tea. Would you like some? I can get some."

The Doctor looked over at Rose to see her reaction to Bernard's obviously nervous and erratic behavior. He wasn't surprised to see her smiling at Bernard with mirth shinning in her eyes. She nodded before saying, "That would be lovely. Thank you."

He swiftly stood up and pushed his chair out of the way with his feet without taking his eyes off of Rose. He walked backwards while wringing his hands together in front of him. He had never seen Bernard act like this before, "It'll be done in a minute. Just a minute miss." He disappeared behind the dark curtain that obviously led to the kitchen. Things could be heard crashing and moving in the kitchen as Bernard prepared her a cup of tea.

"You're friends are clearly different," Rose said in a teasing voice as she picked up a phone whose cord had been obviously snipped off.

"Well," he tilted his head to the side before leaning in to give her a kiss. She sank her fingers into his hair and pulled him closer. He mumbled against her lips, "He's a little different. Decades ago I met Bernard on a planet called Lephone. He had been running from some people that he owed money too. After a couple of whirlwind days of running around the streets of Lephone we cleared his debts and ended up here in London."

"But?" she asked obviously knowing that there was a catch to this story.

He kissed her again loving the way that her inquisitive mind picked up on the missing piece of his story, "The thing about the people on Lephone and especially Bernard's family is that they were known back on Gallifrey as link bearers. They connect people on a deeper level. It was used during marriages to connect the two on a deeper mental link that enables both of them to understand and feel each other much better. A life link. Bernard hates it but he promised to do this for me when I was ready as a thank you for what…"

His words were cut off as Rose's lips descended on his. She placed her hands on his cheeks and pulled him even closer. She peppered his lips and repeated over and over, "I love you."

He grinned at her in a dreamy manner. Her kisses had become quite addictive, "I love you….so do you think that…is this alright?"

"It's perfect."

They pulled back from each other as Bernard entered the room again. He glared at the Doctor as he noticed how close they were now sitting before placing a cup of tea and a plate with a single biscuit on it. Rose thanked him and bit her lip as she tried to contain herself. She obviously found it quite endearing how Bernard fawned over her. Bernard sat down and kept his eyes on Rose as she drank her tea, "I gave you my special biscuit. My biscuit."

"Thank you," she said as she nibbled the biscuit. Her eyes widened as the taste hit her, "this is delicious. Try some."

She handed over the other half to the Doctor and he couldn't help but agreeing with her, "This IS delicious." He noticed instantly that there was something odd about the biscuit. Turning back to Bernard he saw that he was still staring at Rose with his head perched up on his bent hand, "What is this?"

Bernard answered him without looking his way, "It's the link. It's done."

"That fast?" Rose asked in surprise as she looked between them.

Bernard nodded before sighing and leaning back in his chair. He pushed his shades up and looked between them with an odd serious face, "Knew you would come around soon. Heard news about a woman saving you from all the mess with the Master. Knew that it had to be someone special to deal with you. I was right. She's perfect."

He gave a grunt in anger before pouring himself another glass of wine, "Figures. Gorgeous woman that looks like she baths in streams and milks things appears and you snatch her up. Oh, well. It's just my luck."

The Doctor kissed Roses hand as he felt her mind within his. She raised an eyebrow in his direction as she silently acknowledged that she felt the connection as well.

Bernard cleared his throat to get their attention, "Now that you have killed my dreams I need to warn you. The link is complete. You'll be able to feel what each other is feeling most of the time. Give it a couple days to get used to. And you'll be able to understand each other on a deeper level. But there's something different about her," he pointed at Rose before continuing, "Something's different about her. She's not a Timelord. Could tell that when the link fell into place. Her energy is different and only the Gods of Lephone will know what that does to the link."

"I had suspected something along those lines to come up," the Doctor said with a sigh as he stood up. Rose took the hand that he offered and stood up as well, "We haven't looked into them as much as we should but we'll keep in contact just in case if anything happens. Thanks Bernard."

Bernard waved the comment off and started patting himself as he looked around his desk, "Don't keep in contact at all. Well…Rose can…but only if she helps me find my lighter."

Rose picked it up off the corner of the desk and handed it over. He glanced at her quickly before turning to the Doctor, "She's a good one. Keep her close."

"I will," the Doctor said as he felt Rose's delight rush over him in waves. She surprised them both when she leaned over the desk and gave Bernard a kiss on the cheek. His face turned bright red and his eyes glazed over as he stared off into nothing.

"Thanks Bernard. We'll make sure to visit. I like your little shop. It's…unusual."

"Thanks. Bye…yeah…bye."

The Doctor and Rose said their goodbyes and walked out of the shop without so much as a comment from the still Bernard. As they walked down the street he couldn't help but think that the visit had gone better than he had expected. It had gone phenomenally well actually. They both had a connection now. A connection deeper than before that would bring them closer. He wouldn't lose her ever again.

He glanced down at Rose when he felt her immense joy and saw that she had a small smile on her face, "Do you like it?"

She leaned her head against his shoulder and gripped his hand tightly. In a voice full of emotion she said, "I don't like it. I love it. You have no idea how much I love it."

He kissed the top of her head and asked a question that he hadn't had a chance to ask her earlier, "What was that book that caught your attention earlier back in the shop?"

She chuckled lightly, "It was the weirdest book. It was called The Art of Screaming."

Author's Note: Awww I loved this!!! If you've watched all the episodes of Black Books then you'll understand all the inside jokes. And this is full of inside jokes from Black Books. TONS! So tell me what you think. It's kind of a small sequel to "I Promise" that will lead to the actual sequel where we explore what these powers have really done to Rose with a twist. (Hint Hint Spoiler)

SO PLEASE REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, AND FINALLY WITH A GIGANTIC CHERRY ON TOP REVIEW!!!